Getting Divorced. People Say “I’m sorry.” Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always say sorry when I hear someone is getting divorced. It's a period in your life that sucks. So sorry that you're going through it.

If you are insecure about people feeling bad that you are going through a non-ideal time, I don't know what to tell you. No one is going to say, "great job" when they hear about a divorce.

Nobody is insecure about it. People are just surprised that obtuse people like you exist.

There is no better response to "I'm getting divorced" other than "sorry to hear that".
Sorry, guess you're stuck with it.

Yes there is and many options have been explained.

Just like you should not say to every senior in HS, where are you going to college next year because most aren’t. You should say
What are your plans next year.

It’s basic human courtesy.

It’s also basic human courtesy not to try to gaslight or manipulate people. You didn’t have to get married; you chose to. Marriage is literally a vow to stay together for life. That’s what you intended—or at least what you pretended to intend in front of either a legal or spiritual authority (if you lied, that’s on you). Your marriage failed. What you said you wanted in front of a legal or spiritual authority did not happen. We’re sorry. We are sorry that your marriage failed, and whatever painful or untenable circumstances that led to your divorce.

You can accept it or not, but it is and always will be socially acceptable to say you’re sorry to hear of a failed marriage.

Okay crazy gaslight person nobody’s talking to you anymore you are too far gone.

Legal/spiritual authority? Lol, they need to do a reality TV show and put you in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always say sorry when I hear someone is getting divorced. It's a period in your life that sucks. So sorry that you're going through it.

If you are insecure about people feeling bad that you are going through a non-ideal time, I don't know what to tell you. No one is going to say, "great job" when they hear about a divorce.

Nobody is insecure about it. People are just surprised that obtuse people like you exist.

There is no better response to "I'm getting divorced" other than "sorry to hear that".
Sorry, guess you're stuck with it.

Yes there is and many options have been explained.

Just like you should not say to every senior in HS, where are you going to college next year because most aren’t. You should say
What are your plans next year.

It’s basic human courtesy.

Your comparison to college has absolutely nothing to do with divorce. These two circumstances aren't even remotely similar so you cannot compare the two. And you sound incredibly defensive.

PP, I'm sorry about your divorce. I hope you get the help that you need. the world is not your enemy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so disingenuous. They say it because your marriage failed and they’re trying to be polite.

Don’t be such an ass. If you want to let people know you’re happy and it’s for the best, then say that. But how could people possibly know that unless you told them?!

Come on. I can’t stand when people like you throw basic civility back in people’s faces. They’re trying to be nice and polite but you want even more. You want people to be able to read your mind and anticipate your needs moment to moment. You know that’s supremely unrealistic right?

It’s not polite or civil. It’s an ill-bread response.

How did we come to someone arguing that a simple “oh, I’m sorry to hear that” to someone announcing the end of their marriage is impolite, un-civil, and a sign of ill breeding? (Or ill bread)

Because it is and it’s been explained over and over. Don’t say sorry, it’s rude.

A well educated person knows to not say sorry to something that is not bad.

This is hilarious. So, does this mean I should send a condolence card to my friend who is getting married? If the point of marriage is to do it so you can then go on to have a beautiful divorce later that friends and strangers alike should congratulate you on? Please go on

What up with the black and white thinking.

If someone is at UVA and then transfers to UMCP do you say sorry, no, you’re glad they found a place they like better.

I’m going to UVA, congratulations!
How’s UVA? Oh I’m at Md now I didn’t really like UVA.
Oh best wishes go Terps.

What would you say “oh I’m so sorry, what happened… you had dreams of being a cavalier. Condolences. “
No you would NEVER say that

How’s Mary?
Oh we got divorced.
Oh I didn’t hear how are the kids doing I haven’t seen them in so long.

Its like you guys need social skills classes

Why would you need to ask how the kids are doing? I thought this process was easy for them and they were so happy about it. And if someone said “I was at UVA for a year but didn’t like it so I transferred to Old Dominion” I’d say “oh I’m sorry to hear you didn’t like it. How’s ODU treating you?”

And the fact you say you are sorry they are at Old Dominion show you have a low EQ and you think lesser of Old Dominion.

If they said I’m no longer at UVA I transferred to Harvard, would you say sorry.

Yes. “Oh, I’m sorry UVA wasn’t what you hoped it would be, but I’m so glad you are at Harvard! How is it going?”

I mean, you either opted to be at UVA from the get-go for presumably sound reasons (you married him because you loved him and though it was right), or you failed to get into Harvard the first time (you couldn’t get the ring from your true love, you you settled and are now back with your true love), so…

Are you seriously sorty I’m going to Harvard, lol that crazy talk. I only did UVA for 1 semester because I had to defer my admissions due to my ACL surgery,

Don’t make assumptions about people you don’t know.

I’m sorry you had to defer your admissions due to your ACL surgery! SORRY!

I’m also sorry for your failed marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always say sorry when I hear someone is getting divorced. It's a period in your life that sucks. So sorry that you're going through it.

If you are insecure about people feeling bad that you are going through a non-ideal time, I don't know what to tell you. No one is going to say, "great job" when they hear about a divorce.

Nobody is insecure about it. People are just surprised that obtuse people like you exist.

There is no better response to "I'm getting divorced" other than "sorry to hear that".
Sorry, guess you're stuck with it.

Yes there is and many options have been explained.

Just like you should not say to every senior in HS, where are you going to college next year because most aren’t. You should say
What are your plans next year.

It’s basic human courtesy.

Your comparison to college has absolutely nothing to do with divorce. These two circumstances aren't even remotely similar so you cannot compare the two. And you sound incredibly defensive.

PP, I'm sorry about your divorce. I hope you get the help that you need. the world is not your enemy.

You are right I’ve come to see your way of thinking.

The only correct response it “ I’m really sorry you betrayed your spiritual authority I will pray for your soul.”

Y’all are some damaged people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so disingenuous. They say it because your marriage failed and they’re trying to be polite.

Don’t be such an ass. If you want to let people know you’re happy and it’s for the best, then say that. But how could people possibly know that unless you told them?!

Come on. I can’t stand when people like you throw basic civility back in people’s faces. They’re trying to be nice and polite but you want even more. You want people to be able to read your mind and anticipate your needs moment to moment. You know that’s supremely unrealistic right?

It’s not polite or civil. It’s an ill-bread response.

How did we come to someone arguing that a simple “oh, I’m sorry to hear that” to someone announcing the end of their marriage is impolite, un-civil, and a sign of ill breeding? (Or ill bread)

Because it is and it’s been explained over and over. Don’t say sorry, it’s rude.

A well educated person knows to not say sorry to something that is not bad.

This is hilarious. So, does this mean I should send a condolence card to my friend who is getting married? If the point of marriage is to do it so you can then go on to have a beautiful divorce later that friends and strangers alike should congratulate you on? Please go on

What up with the black and white thinking.

If someone is at UVA and then transfers to UMCP do you say sorry, no, you’re glad they found a place they like better.

I’m going to UVA, congratulations!
How’s UVA? Oh I’m at Md now I didn’t really like UVA.
Oh best wishes go Terps.

What would you say “oh I’m so sorry, what happened… you had dreams of being a cavalier. Condolences. “
No you would NEVER say that

How’s Mary?
Oh we got divorced.
Oh I didn’t hear how are the kids doing I haven’t seen them in so long.

Its like you guys need social skills classes

Why would you need to ask how the kids are doing? I thought this process was easy for them and they were so happy about it. And if someone said “I was at UVA for a year but didn’t like it so I transferred to Old Dominion” I’d say “oh I’m sorry to hear you didn’t like it. How’s ODU treating you?”

And the fact you say you are sorry they are at Old Dominion show you have a low EQ and you think lesser of Old Dominion.

If they said I’m no longer at UVA I transferred to Harvard, would you say sorry.

Yes. “Oh, I’m sorry UVA wasn’t what you hoped it would be, but I’m so glad you are at Harvard! How is it going?”

I mean, you either opted to be at UVA from the get-go for presumably sound reasons (you married him because you loved him and though it was right), or you failed to get into Harvard the first time (you couldn’t get the ring from your true love, you you settled and are now back with your true love), so…

Are you seriously sorty I’m going to Harvard, lol that crazy talk. I only did UVA for 1 semester because I had to defer my admissions due to my ACL surgery,

Don’t make assumptions about people you don’t know.

I’m sorry you had to defer your admissions due to your ACL surgery! SORRY!

I’m also sorry for your failed marriage.

I’m sorry Bob is screwing his secretary and you don’t have enough of an education to leave and support yourself!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always say sorry when I hear someone is getting divorced. It's a period in your life that sucks. So sorry that you're going through it.

If you are insecure about people feeling bad that you are going through a non-ideal time, I don't know what to tell you. No one is going to say, "great job" when they hear about a divorce.

Nobody is insecure about it. People are just surprised that obtuse people like you exist.

There is no better response to "I'm getting divorced" other than "sorry to hear that".
Sorry, guess you're stuck with it.

Yes there is and many options have been explained.

Just like you should not say to every senior in HS, where are you going to college next year because most aren’t. You should say
What are your plans next year.

It’s basic human courtesy.

It’s also basic human courtesy not to try to gaslight or manipulate people. You didn’t have to get married; you chose to. Marriage is literally a vow to stay together for life. That’s what you intended—or at least what you pretended to intend in front of either a legal or spiritual authority (if you lied, that’s on you). Your marriage failed. What you said you wanted in front of a legal or spiritual authority did not happen. We’re sorry. We are sorry that your marriage failed, and whatever painful or untenable circumstances that led to your divorce.

You can accept it or not, but it is and always will be socially acceptable to say you’re sorry to hear of a failed marriage.

Okay crazy gaslight person nobody’s talking to you anymore you are too far gone.

Legal/spiritual authority? Lol, they need to do a reality TV show and put you in it.

Please explain to me how one gets married without a legal authority (like a judge) or a spiritual authority (like a priest, pastor, rabbi, or even your friend Mike who got his Universal Church ordination, but still had to get that cleared with the state where the marriage certificate was issued). Go on, I’ll wait. Tell me how a legal marriage happens without a legal or spiritual authority presiding. I will wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so disingenuous. They say it because your marriage failed and they’re trying to be polite.

Don’t be such an ass. If you want to let people know you’re happy and it’s for the best, then say that. But how could people possibly know that unless you told them?!

Come on. I can’t stand when people like you throw basic civility back in people’s faces. They’re trying to be nice and polite but you want even more. You want people to be able to read your mind and anticipate your needs moment to moment. You know that’s supremely unrealistic right?

It’s not polite or civil. It’s an ill-bread response.

How did we come to someone arguing that a simple “oh, I’m sorry to hear that” to someone announcing the end of their marriage is impolite, un-civil, and a sign of ill breeding? (Or ill bread)

Because it is and it’s been explained over and over. Don’t say sorry, it’s rude.

A well educated person knows to not say sorry to something that is not bad.

This is hilarious. So, does this mean I should send a condolence card to my friend who is getting married? If the point of marriage is to do it so you can then go on to have a beautiful divorce later that friends and strangers alike should congratulate you on? Please go on

What up with the black and white thinking.

If someone is at UVA and then transfers to UMCP do you say sorry, no, you’re glad they found a place they like better.

I’m going to UVA, congratulations!
How’s UVA? Oh I’m at Md now I didn’t really like UVA.
Oh best wishes go Terps.

What would you say “oh I’m so sorry, what happened… you had dreams of being a cavalier. Condolences. “
No you would NEVER say that

How’s Mary?
Oh we got divorced.
Oh I didn’t hear how are the kids doing I haven’t seen them in so long.

Its like you guys need social skills classes

Why would you need to ask how the kids are doing? I thought this process was easy for them and they were so happy about it. And if someone said “I was at UVA for a year but didn’t like it so I transferred to Old Dominion” I’d say “oh I’m sorry to hear you didn’t like it. How’s ODU treating you?”

And the fact you say you are sorry they are at Old Dominion show you have a low EQ and you think lesser of Old Dominion.

If they said I’m no longer at UVA I transferred to Harvard, would you say sorry.

Yes. “Oh, I’m sorry UVA wasn’t what you hoped it would be, but I’m so glad you are at Harvard! How is it going?”

I mean, you either opted to be at UVA from the get-go for presumably sound reasons (you married him because you loved him and though it was right), or you failed to get into Harvard the first time (you couldn’t get the ring from your true love, you you settled and are now back with your true love), so…

Are you seriously sorty I’m going to Harvard, lol that crazy talk. I only did UVA for 1 semester because I had to defer my admissions due to my ACL surgery,

Don’t make assumptions about people you don’t know.

I’m sorry you had to defer your admissions due to your ACL surgery! SORRY!

I’m also sorry for your failed marriage.

I’m sorry Bob is screwing his secretary and you don’t have enough of an education to leave and support yourself!

Aww, I’m home for the holidays with my beautiful family. DH and I have great jobs. I have a master’s degree and make well into the six figures. Looking forward to being surrounded by loved ones this holiday. I hope you can find some peace. I’m sorry for your failed marriage.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always say sorry when I hear someone is getting divorced. It's a period in your life that sucks. So sorry that you're going through it.

If you are insecure about people feeling bad that you are going through a non-ideal time, I don't know what to tell you. No one is going to say, "great job" when they hear about a divorce.

Nobody is insecure about it. People are just surprised that obtuse people like you exist.

There is no better response to "I'm getting divorced" other than "sorry to hear that".
Sorry, guess you're stuck with it.

Yes there is and many options have been explained.

Just like you should not say to every senior in HS, where are you going to college next year because most aren’t. You should say
What are your plans next year.

It’s basic human courtesy.

It’s also basic human courtesy not to try to gaslight or manipulate people. You didn’t have to get married; you chose to. Marriage is literally a vow to stay together for life. That’s what you intended—or at least what you pretended to intend in front of either a legal or spiritual authority (if you lied, that’s on you). Your marriage failed. What you said you wanted in front of a legal or spiritual authority did not happen. We’re sorry. We are sorry that your marriage failed, and whatever painful or untenable circumstances that led to your divorce.

You can accept it or not, but it is and always will be socially acceptable to say you’re sorry to hear of a failed marriage.

Okay crazy gaslight person nobody’s talking to you anymore you are too far gone.

Legal/spiritual authority? Lol, they need to do a reality TV show and put you in it.

Please explain to me how one gets married without a legal authority (like a judge) or a spiritual authority (like a priest, pastor, rabbi, or even your friend Mike who got his Universal Church ordination, but still had to get that cleared with the state where the marriage certificate was issued). Go on, I’ll wait. Tell me how a legal marriage happens without a legal or spiritual authority presiding. I will wait.

They are a legal person or religious person they have no authority over me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so disingenuous. They say it because your marriage failed and they’re trying to be polite.

Don’t be such an ass. If you want to let people know you’re happy and it’s for the best, then say that. But how could people possibly know that unless you told them?!

Come on. I can’t stand when people like you throw basic civility back in people’s faces. They’re trying to be nice and polite but you want even more. You want people to be able to read your mind and anticipate your needs moment to moment. You know that’s supremely unrealistic right?

It’s not polite or civil. It’s an ill-bread response.

How did we come to someone arguing that a simple “oh, I’m sorry to hear that” to someone announcing the end of their marriage is impolite, un-civil, and a sign of ill breeding? (Or ill bread)

Because it is and it’s been explained over and over. Don’t say sorry, it’s rude.

A well educated person knows to not say sorry to something that is not bad.

This is hilarious. So, does this mean I should send a condolence card to my friend who is getting married? If the point of marriage is to do it so you can then go on to have a beautiful divorce later that friends and strangers alike should congratulate you on? Please go on

What up with the black and white thinking.

If someone is at UVA and then transfers to UMCP do you say sorry, no, you’re glad they found a place they like better.

I’m going to UVA, congratulations!
How’s UVA? Oh I’m at Md now I didn’t really like UVA.
Oh best wishes go Terps.

What would you say “oh I’m so sorry, what happened… you had dreams of being a cavalier. Condolences. “
No you would NEVER say that

How’s Mary?
Oh we got divorced.
Oh I didn’t hear how are the kids doing I haven’t seen them in so long.

Its like you guys need social skills classes

Why would you need to ask how the kids are doing? I thought this process was easy for them and they were so happy about it. And if someone said “I was at UVA for a year but didn’t like it so I transferred to Old Dominion” I’d say “oh I’m sorry to hear you didn’t like it. How’s ODU treating you?”

And the fact you say you are sorry they are at Old Dominion show you have a low EQ and you think lesser of Old Dominion.

If they said I’m no longer at UVA I transferred to Harvard, would you say sorry.

Yes. “Oh, I’m sorry UVA wasn’t what you hoped it would be, but I’m so glad you are at Harvard! How is it going?”

I mean, you either opted to be at UVA from the get-go for presumably sound reasons (you married him because you loved him and though it was right), or you failed to get into Harvard the first time (you couldn’t get the ring from your true love, you you settled and are now back with your true love), so…

Are you seriously sorty I’m going to Harvard, lol that crazy talk. I only did UVA for 1 semester because I had to defer my admissions due to my ACL surgery,

Don’t make assumptions about people you don’t know.

I’m sorry you had to defer your admissions due to your ACL surgery! SORRY!

I’m also sorry for your failed marriage.

I’m sorry Bob is screwing his secretary and you don’t have enough of an education to leave and support yourself!

Aww, I’m home for the holidays with my beautiful family. DH and I have great jobs. I have a master’s degree and make well into the six figures. Looking forward to being surrounded by loved ones this holiday. I hope you can find some peace. I’m sorry for your failed marriage.

I’m sorry your h is pretending to get butter at the store to talk to his OW because she’s freaking out she won’t see him until Tuesday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always say sorry when I hear someone is getting divorced. It's a period in your life that sucks. So sorry that you're going through it.

If you are insecure about people feeling bad that you are going through a non-ideal time, I don't know what to tell you. No one is going to say, "great job" when they hear about a divorce.

Nobody is insecure about it. People are just surprised that obtuse people like you exist.

There is no better response to "I'm getting divorced" other than "sorry to hear that".
Sorry, guess you're stuck with it.

Yes there is and many options have been explained.

Just like you should not say to every senior in HS, where are you going to college next year because most aren’t. You should say
What are your plans next year.

It’s basic human courtesy.

It’s also basic human courtesy not to try to gaslight or manipulate people. You didn’t have to get married; you chose to. Marriage is literally a vow to stay together for life. That’s what you intended—or at least what you pretended to intend in front of either a legal or spiritual authority (if you lied, that’s on you). Your marriage failed. What you said you wanted in front of a legal or spiritual authority did not happen. We’re sorry. We are sorry that your marriage failed, and whatever painful or untenable circumstances that led to your divorce.

You can accept it or not, but it is and always will be socially acceptable to say you’re sorry to hear of a failed marriage.

Okay crazy gaslight person nobody’s talking to you anymore you are too far gone.

Legal/spiritual authority? Lol, they need to do a reality TV show and put you in it.

Please explain to me how one gets married without a legal authority (like a judge) or a spiritual authority (like a priest, pastor, rabbi, or even your friend Mike who got his Universal Church ordination, but still had to get that cleared with the state where the marriage certificate was issued). Go on, I’ll wait. Tell me how a legal marriage happens without a legal or spiritual authority presiding. I will wait.

They are a legal person or religious person they have no authority over me.

So you’re not married, or never were married? OK. That’s cool.

If you were ever legally married, either a judge or some other legal authority performed the ceremony, or a spiritual authority presided: a rabbi, a priest, a pastor, etc. Which was it? Without either a legal or a spiritual authority, you were not legally married.

You can have all the Commitment Ceremonies you want, but that has no legal standing. Which is fine—no one said you have to get married! But if you were legally married, either a legal authority or a spiritual one performed the ceremony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so disingenuous. They say it because your marriage failed and they’re trying to be polite.

Don’t be such an ass. If you want to let people know you’re happy and it’s for the best, then say that. But how could people possibly know that unless you told them?!

Come on. I can’t stand when people like you throw basic civility back in people’s faces. They’re trying to be nice and polite but you want even more. You want people to be able to read your mind and anticipate your needs moment to moment. You know that’s supremely unrealistic right?

It’s not polite or civil. It’s an ill-bread response.

How did we come to someone arguing that a simple “oh, I’m sorry to hear that” to someone announcing the end of their marriage is impolite, un-civil, and a sign of ill breeding? (Or ill bread)

Because it is and it’s been explained over and over. Don’t say sorry, it’s rude.

A well educated person knows to not say sorry to something that is not bad.

This is hilarious. So, does this mean I should send a condolence card to my friend who is getting married? If the point of marriage is to do it so you can then go on to have a beautiful divorce later that friends and strangers alike should congratulate you on? Please go on

What up with the black and white thinking.

If someone is at UVA and then transfers to UMCP do you say sorry, no, you’re glad they found a place they like better.

I’m going to UVA, congratulations!
How’s UVA? Oh I’m at Md now I didn’t really like UVA.
Oh best wishes go Terps.

What would you say “oh I’m so sorry, what happened… you had dreams of being a cavalier. Condolences. “
No you would NEVER say that

How’s Mary?
Oh we got divorced.
Oh I didn’t hear how are the kids doing I haven’t seen them in so long.

Its like you guys need social skills classes

Why would you need to ask how the kids are doing? I thought this process was easy for them and they were so happy about it. And if someone said “I was at UVA for a year but didn’t like it so I transferred to Old Dominion” I’d say “oh I’m sorry to hear you didn’t like it. How’s ODU treating you?”

And the fact you say you are sorry they are at Old Dominion show you have a low EQ and you think lesser of Old Dominion.

If they said I’m no longer at UVA I transferred to Harvard, would you say sorry.

Yes. “Oh, I’m sorry UVA wasn’t what you hoped it would be, but I’m so glad you are at Harvard! How is it going?”

I mean, you either opted to be at UVA from the get-go for presumably sound reasons (you married him because you loved him and though it was right), or you failed to get into Harvard the first time (you couldn’t get the ring from your true love, you you settled and are now back with your true love), so…

Are you seriously sorty I’m going to Harvard, lol that crazy talk. I only did UVA for 1 semester because I had to defer my admissions due to my ACL surgery,

Don’t make assumptions about people you don’t know.

I’m sorry you had to defer your admissions due to your ACL surgery! SORRY!

I’m also sorry for your failed marriage.

I’m sorry Bob is screwing his secretary and you don’t have enough of an education to leave and support yourself!

Aww, I’m home for the holidays with my beautiful family. DH and I have great jobs. I have a master’s degree and make well into the six figures. Looking forward to being surrounded by loved ones this holiday. I hope you can find some peace. I’m sorry for your failed marriage.

I’m sorry your h is pretending to get butter at the store to talk to his OW because she’s freaking out she won’t see him until Tuesday.

Oh honey, you tried it. You are trying so hard! I’m sorry your husband strayed, but some of us have self-respect and marry good men. Or were you just too low-value to attract and keep a good one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so disingenuous. They say it because your marriage failed and they’re trying to be polite.

Don’t be such an ass. If you want to let people know you’re happy and it’s for the best, then say that. But how could people possibly know that unless you told them?!

Come on. I can’t stand when people like you throw basic civility back in people’s faces. They’re trying to be nice and polite but you want even more. You want people to be able to read your mind and anticipate your needs moment to moment. You know that’s supremely unrealistic right?

It’s not polite or civil. It’s an ill-bread response.

How did we come to someone arguing that a simple “oh, I’m sorry to hear that” to someone announcing the end of their marriage is impolite, un-civil, and a sign of ill breeding? (Or ill bread)

Because it is and it’s been explained over and over. Don’t say sorry, it’s rude.

A well educated person knows to not say sorry to something that is not bad.

This is hilarious. So, does this mean I should send a condolence card to my friend who is getting married? If the point of marriage is to do it so you can then go on to have a beautiful divorce later that friends and strangers alike should congratulate you on? Please go on

What up with the black and white thinking.

If someone is at UVA and then transfers to UMCP do you say sorry, no, you’re glad they found a place they like better.

I’m going to UVA, congratulations!
How’s UVA? Oh I’m at Md now I didn’t really like UVA.
Oh best wishes go Terps.

What would you say “oh I’m so sorry, what happened… you had dreams of being a cavalier. Condolences. “
No you would NEVER say that

How’s Mary?
Oh we got divorced.
Oh I didn’t hear how are the kids doing I haven’t seen them in so long.

Its like you guys need social skills classes

Why would you need to ask how the kids are doing? I thought this process was easy for them and they were so happy about it. And if someone said “I was at UVA for a year but didn’t like it so I transferred to Old Dominion” I’d say “oh I’m sorry to hear you didn’t like it. How’s ODU treating you?”

And the fact you say you are sorry they are at Old Dominion show you have a low EQ and you think lesser of Old Dominion.

If they said I’m no longer at UVA I transferred to Harvard, would you say sorry.

Yes. “Oh, I’m sorry UVA wasn’t what you hoped it would be, but I’m so glad you are at Harvard! How is it going?”

I mean, you either opted to be at UVA from the get-go for presumably sound reasons (you married him because you loved him and though it was right), or you failed to get into Harvard the first time (you couldn’t get the ring from your true love, you you settled and are now back with your true love), so…

Are you seriously sorty I’m going to Harvard, lol that crazy talk. I only did UVA for 1 semester because I had to defer my admissions due to my ACL surgery,

Don’t make assumptions about people you don’t know.

I’m sorry you had to defer your admissions due to your ACL surgery! SORRY!

I’m also sorry for your failed marriage.

I’m sorry Bob is screwing his secretary and you don’t have enough of an education to leave and support yourself!

Aww, I’m home for the holidays with my beautiful family. DH and I have great jobs. I have a master’s degree and make well into the six figures. Looking forward to being surrounded by loved ones this holiday. I hope you can find some peace. I’m sorry for your failed marriage.

I’m sorry your h is pretending to get butter at the store to talk to his OW because she’s freaking out she won’t see him until Tuesday.

Oh honey, you tried it. You are trying so hard! I’m sorry your husband strayed, but some of us have self-respect and marry good men. Or were you just too low-value to attract and keep a good one?

Oooooh burn!!!

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Anonymous wrote:This is so disingenuous. They say it because your marriage failed and they’re trying to be polite.

Don’t be such an ass. If you want to let people know you’re happy and it’s for the best, then say that. But how could people possibly know that unless you told them?!

Come on. I can’t stand when people like you throw basic civility back in people’s faces. They’re trying to be nice and polite but you want even more. You want people to be able to read your mind and anticipate your needs moment to moment. You know that’s supremely unrealistic right?

It’s not polite or civil. It’s an ill-bread response.

How did we come to someone arguing that a simple “oh, I’m sorry to hear that” to someone announcing the end of their marriage is impolite, un-civil, and a sign of ill breeding? (Or ill bread)

Because it is and it’s been explained over and over. Don’t say sorry, it’s rude.

A well educated person knows to not say sorry to something that is not bad.

This is hilarious. So, does this mean I should send a condolence card to my friend who is getting married? If the point of marriage is to do it so you can then go on to have a beautiful divorce later that friends and strangers alike should congratulate you on? Please go on

What up with the black and white thinking.

If someone is at UVA and then transfers to UMCP do you say sorry, no, you’re glad they found a place they like better.

I’m going to UVA, congratulations!
How’s UVA? Oh I’m at Md now I didn’t really like UVA.
Oh best wishes go Terps.

What would you say “oh I’m so sorry, what happened… you had dreams of being a cavalier. Condolences. “
No you would NEVER say that

How’s Mary?
Oh we got divorced.
Oh I didn’t hear how are the kids doing I haven’t seen them in so long.

Its like you guys need social skills classes

Why would you need to ask how the kids are doing? I thought this process was easy for them and they were so happy about it. And if someone said “I was at UVA for a year but didn’t like it so I transferred to Old Dominion” I’d say “oh I’m sorry to hear you didn’t like it. How’s ODU treating you?”

And the fact you say you are sorry they are at Old Dominion show you have a low EQ and you think lesser of Old Dominion.

If they said I’m no longer at UVA I transferred to Harvard, would you say sorry.

Yes. “Oh, I’m sorry UVA wasn’t what you hoped it would be, but I’m so glad you are at Harvard! How is it going?”

I mean, you either opted to be at UVA from the get-go for presumably sound reasons (you married him because you loved him and though it was right), or you failed to get into Harvard the first time (you couldn’t get the ring from your true love, you you settled and are now back with your true love), so…

Are you seriously sorty I’m going to Harvard, lol that crazy talk. I only did UVA for 1 semester because I had to defer my admissions due to my ACL surgery,

Don’t make assumptions about people you don’t know.

I’m sorry you had to defer your admissions due to your ACL surgery! SORRY!

I’m also sorry for your failed marriage.

I’m sorry Bob is screwing his secretary and you don’t have enough of an education to leave and support yourself!

Aww, I’m home for the holidays with my beautiful family. DH and I have great jobs. I have a master’s degree and make well into the six figures. Looking forward to being surrounded by loved ones this holiday. I hope you can find some peace. I’m sorry for your failed marriage.

I’m sorry your h is pretending to get butter at the store to talk to his OW because she’s freaking out she won’t see him until Tuesday.

Oh honey, you tried it. You are trying so hard! I’m sorry your husband strayed, but some of us have self-respect and marry good men. Or were you just too low-value to attract and keep a good one?

Oooooh burn!!!

Lol they married Andrew Tate, a “high valued man” … lol!

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Anonymous wrote:I always say sorry when I hear someone is getting divorced. It's a period in your life that sucks. So sorry that you're going through it.

If you are insecure about people feeling bad that you are going through a non-ideal time, I don't know what to tell you. No one is going to say, "great job" when they hear about a divorce.

Nobody is insecure about it. People are just surprised that obtuse people like you exist.

There is no better response to "I'm getting divorced" other than "sorry to hear that".
Sorry, guess you're stuck with it.

Yes there is and many options have been explained.

Just like you should not say to every senior in HS, where are you going to college next year because most aren’t. You should say
What are your plans next year.

It’s basic human courtesy.

It’s also basic human courtesy not to try to gaslight or manipulate people. You didn’t have to get married; you chose to. Marriage is literally a vow to stay together for life. That’s what you intended—or at least what you pretended to intend in front of either a legal or spiritual authority (if you lied, that’s on you). Your marriage failed. What you said you wanted in front of a legal or spiritual authority did not happen. We’re sorry. We are sorry that your marriage failed, and whatever painful or untenable circumstances that led to your divorce.

You can accept it or not, but it is and always will be socially acceptable to say you’re sorry to hear of a failed marriage.

Okay crazy gaslight person nobody’s talking to you anymore you are too far gone.

Legal/spiritual authority? Lol, they need to do a reality TV show and put you in it.

Please explain to me how one gets married without a legal authority (like a judge) or a spiritual authority (like a priest, pastor, rabbi, or even your friend Mike who got his Universal Church ordination, but still had to get that cleared with the state where the marriage certificate was issued). Go on, I’ll wait. Tell me how a legal marriage happens without a legal or spiritual authority presiding. I will wait.

They are a legal person or religious person they have no authority over me.

So you’re not married, or never were married? OK. That’s cool.

If you were ever legally married, either a judge or some other legal authority performed the ceremony, or a spiritual authority presided: a rabbi, a priest, a pastor, etc. Which was it? Without either a legal or a spiritual authority, you were not legally married.

You can have all the Commitment Ceremonies you want, but that has no legal standing. Which is fine—no one said you have to get married! But if you were legally married, either a legal authority or a spiritual one performed the ceremony.

Or my sister went online and now she is my authority… she’ll love to hear that this Xmas, I will be in servitude to her all day on Xmas.