NC medical student brags on Twitter about deliberately harming patient who mocked her pronoun pin

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not her job to educate everyone who makes a shitty comment, but it really does seem like she missed an opportunity to connect. A matter-of-fact, brief explanation of why pronouns are important may have been worthwhile here. But she'll never know because she decided to use that energy to write a snarky tweet instead. Sometimes information can make a dent in ignorance.

She did "calm share her thoughts" and did not escalate.

[Anonymous]

calmly

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Why are doctors/med students wearing pronoun pins, anyway? Is it part of a class on virtue signaling?

This was my question.

Why wouldn't they?

+1

What’s wrong with pronoun pins?

When was the last time you saw a doctor wearing anything on scrubs/lab coat other than a name tag/ID or maybe a stethoscope. What possible purpose does announcing pronouns to someone who didn't ask serve?

Maybe it's different because I'm in Peds, but most doctors and nurses have fun pins on their coats/sweaters/scrubs. Also, at least at my hospital, you can get a new ID badge with your pronouns under your name if you want.

The purpose of everyone stating their pronouns is to make it more mainstream and normalized. That way trans and nonbinary individuals don't have to feel like outsiders when they let someone know that they have preferred pronouns. Using the correct pronouns, IMO, is just a normal level of respect. Kind of like not calling an Amanda 'Mandy' if they ask you not to or not taking someone's (complex to you) ethnic name and saying "I can't say that so I'm going to call you Sunny!"

And this, in a nutshell, is what's wrong with it.

Why? What’s wrong with normalizing preferred pronouns?

In general I don’t have an issue with showing preferred pronouns, but as a woman who works in an extremely male-dominated field where I am often the only woman in the room, I experience expectations to emphasize pronouns up front as yet one more way to “other” me in my field. In meetings where people list their pronouns up front (thankfully not common but more often than before), I’m often the only she/her and it feels very isolating. I really dislike the experience and I find it subtly changes the dynamics in a way that isn’t positive.

This is a patient-facing field?

No, not patient facing. I imagine there could be similar dynamics in a patient facing field but I have no personal experience with it so don’t know.

So do you work with a lot of strangers? Clients? Customers?

A pin might not be as helpful for you if you’re not meeting a bunch of new people every day.

I don’t have an issue with pins in healthcare. But you were not only talking about pins in healthcare, you were talking about proactive identification of pronouns in general (“normalizing preferred pronouns”) and what I am telling you is that as a woman who is already isolated in my field, I’ve experienced that “normalization” as yet one more way mechanism of isolation. It’s not universally experienced as “inclusive” in other words no matter how much you want to make it “normalized.” The context is very important.

Seems like preferred pronouns are the least of your worries in a toxic masculine work environment.

And yes we are talking about the context of a medical provider here.

Amazing. It is really always remarkable to see the extent to which transactivists try to minimize, excuse, and normalize misogyny in order to get their way.

So don’t wear a pin at work. Problem solved.

You did say it makes sense in medical settings though, right? Which is what we are discussing here.

I work in a medical setting and no one here wears a pin announcing their pronouns. We have 3 trans patients right now. I personally don’t think it’s necessary. Patients usually tell us what they prefer to be called. “Hi Mr. Smith!”…”Oh, please call me Bob.”

But is there a problem if people wear a pin?

The original question above is what's wrong with the pin (in a medical setting)?

Anyone can wear a pronoun pin including medical professionals because who cares. I do think it’s silly to expect everyone else to wear one when a majority of the population is cisgender. And it’s even more ridiculous to then assume someone is hateful or bigoted if they don’t agree with everyone announcing their pronouns. I know it’s higher now but transgender people use to make up only around 0.04% of the population.

So nothing wrong with wearing a pin if you want to wear a pin?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are doctors/med students wearing pronoun pins, anyway? Is it part of a class on virtue signaling?

This was my question.

Why wouldn't they?

+1

What’s wrong with pronoun pins?

When was the last time you saw a doctor wearing anything on scrubs/lab coat other than a name tag/ID or maybe a stethoscope. What possible purpose does announcing pronouns to someone who didn't ask serve?

Maybe it's different because I'm in Peds, but most doctors and nurses have fun pins on their coats/sweaters/scrubs. Also, at least at my hospital, you can get a new ID badge with your pronouns under your name if you want.

The purpose of everyone stating their pronouns is to make it more mainstream and normalized. That way trans and nonbinary individuals don't have to feel like outsiders when they let someone know that they have preferred pronouns. Using the correct pronouns, IMO, is just a normal level of respect. Kind of like not calling an Amanda 'Mandy' if they ask you not to or not taking someone's (complex to you) ethnic name and saying "I can't say that so I'm going to call you Sunny!"

And this, in a nutshell, is what's wrong with it.

Why? What’s wrong with normalizing preferred pronouns?

Because there is nothing normal about having to state one's "preferred pronouns."

That’s the point. To make it more “normal”.

Why shouldn’t it be “normal”?

Because it's not. If I have to explain that you, well, I'm sorry for you.

You do have to explain it. BC you're being unnecessarily hateful. Why do you think you get to tell someone else what's "normal" for what they prefer to be called? Just b/c it makes you uncomfortable?

+1

PP won’t say it out loud because she knows she’s hateful and wrong.

PP again, and happy to "say it out loud," although I don't know how one does that in writing on a message board.

I'm not hateful and I'm not wrong.

People who feel the need to announce their pronouns, or worse, expect/ ask/ demand that others do so, are either a) woke virtue signalers; b) ostriches with their heads in the sand and simply going along to get along because they don't want to bother speaking up about something that they know is silly at best and damaging at worst, but seems to be the current fad; or c) mentally disturbed.

You pick which one best fits you.

That's right. Be proud of your hatefulness. Show us your true colors.

I see zero indication of "hate" in PP's post. You, on the other hand, appear to love that word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are doctors/med students wearing pronoun pins, anyway? Is it part of a class on virtue signaling?

This was my question.

Why wouldn't they?

+1

What’s wrong with pronoun pins?

When was the last time you saw a doctor wearing anything on scrubs/lab coat other than a name tag/ID or maybe a stethoscope. What possible purpose does announcing pronouns to someone who didn't ask serve?

Maybe it's different because I'm in Peds, but most doctors and nurses have fun pins on their coats/sweaters/scrubs. Also, at least at my hospital, you can get a new ID badge with your pronouns under your name if you want.

The purpose of everyone stating their pronouns is to make it more mainstream and normalized. That way trans and nonbinary individuals don't have to feel like outsiders when they let someone know that they have preferred pronouns. Using the correct pronouns, IMO, is just a normal level of respect. Kind of like not calling an Amanda 'Mandy' if they ask you not to or not taking someone's (complex to you) ethnic name and saying "I can't say that so I'm going to call you Sunny!"

And this, in a nutshell, is what's wrong with it.

Why? What’s wrong with normalizing preferred pronouns?

Because there is nothing normal about having to state one's "preferred pronouns."

That’s the point. To make it more “normal”.

Why shouldn’t it be “normal”?

Because it's not. If I have to explain that you, well, I'm sorry for you.

You do have to explain it. BC you're being unnecessarily hateful. Why do you think you get to tell someone else what's "normal" for what they prefer to be called? Just b/c it makes you uncomfortable?

+1

PP won’t say it out loud because she knows she’s hateful and wrong.

PP again, and happy to "say it out loud," although I don't know how one does that in writing on a message board.

I'm not hateful and I'm not wrong.

People who feel the need to announce their pronouns, or worse, expect/ ask/ demand that others do so, are either a) woke virtue signalers; b) ostriches with their heads in the sand and simply going along to get along because they don't want to bother speaking up about something that they know is silly at best and damaging at worst, but seems to be the current fad; or c) mentally disturbed.

You pick which one best fits you.

That's right. Be proud of your hatefulness. Show us your true colors.

Liberal here and I disagree with you. People can ask but you can't demand that I announce my pronouns. It's that simple. One of my kids attends a very large state school and was struggling at one point while home doing distance learning. Kid had top grades and just had it fall semester of junior year. Kid was having problems with one professor and made an appt to speak to their advisor. Kid was depressed. It is hard at this large state university to get time with advisors. It has affected kid's schedule terribly. Kid finally gets an appointment to which advisor was 20 minutes late and she lectured him for 5 minutes on the zoom call because he hadn't filled out preferred pronoun somewhere kid wasn't even aware about. She continued to be indignant through most of the call. I suspect she was deflecting from the fact that she's not competent as an advisor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not her job to educate everyone who makes a shitty comment, but it really does seem like she missed an opportunity to connect. A matter-of-fact, brief explanation of why pronouns are important may have been worthwhile here. But she'll never know because she decided to use that energy to write a snarky tweet instead. Sometimes information can make a dent in ignorance.

She did "calm share her thoughts" and did not escalate.

According to the student herself, not the patient. That is a quote directly from the student facing possible expulsion. Color me skeptical about the neutrality of her self-assessment.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are doctors/med students wearing pronoun pins, anyway? Is it part of a class on virtue signaling?

This was my question.

Why wouldn't they?

+1

What’s wrong with pronoun pins?

When was the last time you saw a doctor wearing anything on scrubs/lab coat other than a name tag/ID or maybe a stethoscope. What possible purpose does announcing pronouns to someone who didn't ask serve?

Maybe it's different because I'm in Peds, but most doctors and nurses have fun pins on their coats/sweaters/scrubs. Also, at least at my hospital, you can get a new ID badge with your pronouns under your name if you want.

The purpose of everyone stating their pronouns is to make it more mainstream and normalized. That way trans and nonbinary individuals don't have to feel like outsiders when they let someone know that they have preferred pronouns. Using the correct pronouns, IMO, is just a normal level of respect. Kind of like not calling an Amanda 'Mandy' if they ask you not to or not taking someone's (complex to you) ethnic name and saying "I can't say that so I'm going to call you Sunny!"

And this, in a nutshell, is what's wrong with it.

Why? What’s wrong with normalizing preferred pronouns?

In general I don’t have an issue with showing preferred pronouns, but as a woman who works in an extremely male-dominated field where I am often the only woman in the room, I experience expectations to emphasize pronouns up front as yet one more way to “other” me in my field. In meetings where people list their pronouns up front (thankfully not common but more often than before), I’m often the only she/her and it feels very isolating. I really dislike the experience and I find it subtly changes the dynamics in a way that isn’t positive.

This is a patient-facing field?

No, not patient facing. I imagine there could be similar dynamics in a patient facing field but I have no personal experience with it so don’t know.

So do you work with a lot of strangers? Clients? Customers?

A pin might not be as helpful for you if you’re not meeting a bunch of new people every day.

I don’t have an issue with pins in healthcare. But you were not only talking about pins in healthcare, you were talking about proactive identification of pronouns in general (“normalizing preferred pronouns”) and what I am telling you is that as a woman who is already isolated in my field, I’ve experienced that “normalization” as yet one more way mechanism of isolation. It’s not universally experienced as “inclusive” in other words no matter how much you want to make it “normalized.” The context is very important.

Seems like preferred pronouns are the least of your worries in a toxic masculine work environment.

And yes we are talking about the context of a medical provider here.

Amazing. It is really always remarkable to see the extent to which transactivists try to minimize, excuse, and normalize misogyny in order to get their way.

So don’t wear a pin at work. Problem solved.

You did say it makes sense in medical settings though, right? Which is what we are discussing here.

I work in a medical setting and no one here wears a pin announcing their pronouns. We have 3 trans patients right now. I personally don’t think it’s necessary. Patients usually tell us what they prefer to be called. “Hi Mr. Smith!”…”Oh, please call me Bob.”

But is there a problem if people wear a pin?

The original question above is what's wrong with the pin (in a medical setting)?

Anyone can wear a pronoun pin including medical professionals because who cares. I do think it’s silly to expect everyone else to wear one when a majority of the population is cisgender. And it’s even more ridiculous to then assume someone is hateful or bigoted if they don’t agree with everyone announcing their pronouns. I know it’s higher now but transgender people use to make up only around 0.04% of the population.

So nothing wrong with wearing a pin if you want to wear a pin?

PP here of course not. If someone feels it is important for them to wear a pronoun pin then they should wear one. I do think it is a problem though to pressure or force others to announce their pronouns or assume they are hateful if they don't want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are doctors/med students wearing pronoun pins, anyway? Is it part of a class on virtue signaling?

This was my question.

Why wouldn't they?

+1

What’s wrong with pronoun pins?

When was the last time you saw a doctor wearing anything on scrubs/lab coat other than a name tag/ID or maybe a stethoscope. What possible purpose does announcing pronouns to someone who didn't ask serve?

Maybe it's different because I'm in Peds, but most doctors and nurses have fun pins on their coats/sweaters/scrubs. Also, at least at my hospital, you can get a new ID badge with your pronouns under your name if you want.

The purpose of everyone stating their pronouns is to make it more mainstream and normalized. That way trans and nonbinary individuals don't have to feel like outsiders when they let someone know that they have preferred pronouns. Using the correct pronouns, IMO, is just a normal level of respect. Kind of like not calling an Amanda 'Mandy' if they ask you not to or not taking someone's (complex to you) ethnic name and saying "I can't say that so I'm going to call you Sunny!"

And this, in a nutshell, is what's wrong with it.

Why? What’s wrong with normalizing preferred pronouns?

In general I don’t have an issue with showing preferred pronouns, but as a woman who works in an extremely male-dominated field where I am often the only woman in the room, I experience expectations to emphasize pronouns up front as yet one more way to “other” me in my field. In meetings where people list their pronouns up front (thankfully not common but more often than before), I’m often the only she/her and it feels very isolating. I really dislike the experience and I find it subtly changes the dynamics in a way that isn’t positive.

This is a patient-facing field?

No, not patient facing. I imagine there could be similar dynamics in a patient facing field but I have no personal experience with it so don’t know.

So do you work with a lot of strangers? Clients? Customers?

A pin might not be as helpful for you if you’re not meeting a bunch of new people every day.

I don’t have an issue with pins in healthcare. But you were not only talking about pins in healthcare, you were talking about proactive identification of pronouns in general (“normalizing preferred pronouns”) and what I am telling you is that as a woman who is already isolated in my field, I’ve experienced that “normalization” as yet one more way mechanism of isolation. It’s not universally experienced as “inclusive” in other words no matter how much you want to make it “normalized.” The context is very important.

Seems like preferred pronouns are the least of your worries in a toxic masculine work environment.

And yes we are talking about the context of a medical provider here.

Amazing. It is really always remarkable to see the extent to which transactivists try to minimize, excuse, and normalize misogyny in order to get their way.

So don’t wear a pin at work. Problem solved.

You did say it makes sense in medical settings though, right? Which is what we are discussing here.

I work in a medical setting and no one here wears a pin announcing their pronouns. We have 3 trans patients right now. I personally don’t think it’s necessary. Patients usually tell us what they prefer to be called. “Hi Mr. Smith!”…”Oh, please call me Bob.”

But is there a problem if people wear a pin?

The original question above is what's wrong with the pin (in a medical setting)?

Anyone can wear a pronoun pin including medical professionals because who cares. I do think it’s silly to expect everyone else to wear one when a majority of the population is cisgender. And it’s even more ridiculous to then assume someone is hateful or bigoted if they don’t agree with everyone announcing their pronouns. I know it’s higher now but transgender people use to make up only around 0.04% of the population.

So nothing wrong with wearing a pin if you want to wear a pin?

Nope. And also nothing wrong with calling out the stupidity of the pin (which is wholly unnecessary in a healthcare setting).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not her job to educate everyone who makes a shitty comment, but it really does seem like she missed an opportunity to connect. A matter-of-fact, brief explanation of why pronouns are important may have been worthwhile here. But she'll never know because she decided to use that energy to write a snarky tweet instead. Sometimes information can make a dent in ignorance.

She did "calm share her thoughts" and did not escalate.

According to the student herself, not the patient. That is a quote directly from the student facing possible expulsion. Color me skeptical about the neutrality of her self-assessment.

+1. The statement was written with the help of a PR person.she knows she’s in deep ….

[Anonymous]

If someone wants to self identify she/her or he/him, fine. However, “they” is a plural and I refuse to use it in place of a singular pronoun. (just my little grammar soapbox)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If someone wants to self identify she/her or he/him, fine. However, “they” is a plural and I refuse to use it in place of a singular pronoun. (just my little grammar soapbox)

Singular use of "they" has been going on since at least the 1300s, so that's quite an unsteady soapbox there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are doctors/med students wearing pronoun pins, anyway? Is it part of a class on virtue signaling?

This was my question.

Why wouldn't they?

+1

What’s wrong with pronoun pins?

When was the last time you saw a doctor wearing anything on scrubs/lab coat other than a name tag/ID or maybe a stethoscope. What possible purpose does announcing pronouns to someone who didn't ask serve?

Maybe it's different because I'm in Peds, but most doctors and nurses have fun pins on their coats/sweaters/scrubs. Also, at least at my hospital, you can get a new ID badge with your pronouns under your name if you want.

The purpose of everyone stating their pronouns is to make it more mainstream and normalized. That way trans and nonbinary individuals don't have to feel like outsiders when they let someone know that they have preferred pronouns. Using the correct pronouns, IMO, is just a normal level of respect. Kind of like not calling an Amanda 'Mandy' if they ask you not to or not taking someone's (complex to you) ethnic name and saying "I can't say that so I'm going to call you Sunny!"

And this, in a nutshell, is what's wrong with it.

Why? What’s wrong with normalizing preferred pronouns?

Because there is nothing normal about having to state one's "preferred pronouns."

That’s the point. To make it more “normal”.

Why shouldn’t it be “normal”?

Because it's not. If I have to explain that you, well, I'm sorry for you.

You do have to explain it. BC you're being unnecessarily hateful. Why do you think you get to tell someone else what's "normal" for what they prefer to be called? Just b/c it makes you uncomfortable?

+1

PP won’t say it out loud because she knows she’s hateful and wrong.

PP again, and happy to "say it out loud," although I don't know how one does that in writing on a message board.

I'm not hateful and I'm not wrong.

People who feel the need to announce their pronouns, or worse, expect/ ask/ demand that others do so, are either a) woke virtue signalers; b) ostriches with their heads in the sand and simply going along to get along because they don't want to bother speaking up about something that they know is silly at best and damaging at worst, but seems to be the current fad; or c) mentally disturbed.

You pick which one best fits you.

That's right. Be proud of your hatefulness. Show us your true colors.

Liberal here and I disagree with you. People can ask but you can't demand that I announce my pronouns. It's that simple. One of my kids attends a very large state school and was struggling at one point while home doing distance learning. Kid had top grades and just had it fall semester of junior year. Kid was having problems with one professor and made an appt to speak to their advisor. Kid was depressed. It is hard at this large state university to get time with advisors. It has affected kid's schedule terribly. Kid finally gets an appointment to which advisor was 20 minutes late and she lectured him for 5 minutes on the zoom call because he hadn't filled out preferred pronoun somewhere kid wasn't even aware about. She continued to be indignant through most of the call. I suspect she was deflecting from the fact that she's not competent as an advisor.

The med student didn't demand anyone announce pronouns.

She wore a pin. The PP is hateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If someone wants to self identify she/her or he/him, fine. However, “they” is a plural and I refuse to use it in place of a singular pronoun. (just my little grammar soapbox)

"They" is used because English lacks a singular, gender neutral third person pronoun.

Words are often used atypically in English. For example, "exercise is good for you" doesn't mean the singular, second person you; it means the plural, third person, "people in general".

"They" is also used as singular in other contexts. "If anyone wants to, they can wear a pronoun pin". Unless you want to always say "he or she can", but that gets cumbersome.

[Anonymous]

All y'all claiming to have never been petty at work or done something intentionally wrong to slight a customer/vendor/coworker are lying!

When someone is pinging me every 5 minutes for a request, that request goes to the bottom of my To Do list. You'll probably get your request answered at 4:57 as I log out for the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If someone wants to self identify she/her or he/him, fine. However, “they” is a plural and I refuse to use it in place of a singular pronoun. (just my little grammar soapbox)

Oh please no. What do you want non-binary people to ask us to use instead? Ze/zim? They is a good option, trust me.