How to not “let yourself go”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

Gyms have childcare. Being with your kids is no excuse. And since you know being out of shape is making you more tired it’s really no favor to them.

Putting your kids in gym childcare is not the same thing as spending time with your kids enraged in their interests and activities.

Parents today spend more “quality” time with their children than any other previous generation, taking all work/ chore / other childcare into account. We need to get over this mommy martyr attitude. It’s great to spend time with your kids, but it’s also alright to let them play with other children while you workout for 45 minutes, or have unstructured solo play time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

I understand that completely. I've gained the same with all my three kids (the youngest is one). I was fully aware of the weight gain. Then one day I got a really good look at my double chin and just got...disgusted with myself. So, I said, no more. Have lost 12 pounds over the last month and a half and need to get 20 more off.

There is no secret to it but eat less, much less. I work out at lunch (thank god my office has a gym, it would not happen otherwise). No breakfast (am not hungry in the morning, just coffee). Work out at lunch and consequently not hungry for another couple of hours. A good-size lunch of protein and vegetables at around 3 pm. Modest-size dinner. No sweets. No bread, pasta, white rice. If I want a piece of chocolate, I will eat a small piece.

Other things are just to make time for you. At 32, you're not there yet, but at 40, the advance payment we got from youth runs out. So, the "undone" hair doesn't look cute any more. It actively detracts from your looks. Same with makeup. Same with clothes. Everything just needs to be taken care of.

I haven't done botox yet at 45 but I got on prescription strength tretinoin really early in life, so I don't have wrinkles just yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

I understand that completely. I've gained the same with all my three kids (the youngest is one). I was fully aware of the weight gain. Then one day I got a really good look at my double chin and just got...disgusted with myself. So, I said, no more. Have lost 12 pounds over the last month and a half and need to get 20 more off.

There is no secret to it but eat less, much less. I work out at lunch (thank god my office has a gym, it would not happen otherwise). No breakfast (am not hungry in the morning, just coffee). Work out at lunch and consequently not hungry for another couple of hours. A good-size lunch of protein and vegetables at around 3 pm. Modest-size dinner. No sweets. No bread, pasta, white rice. If I want a piece of chocolate, I will eat a small piece.

Other things are just to make time for you. At 32, you're not there yet, but at 40, the advance payment we got from youth runs out. So, the "undone" hair doesn't look cute any more. It actively detracts from your looks. Same with makeup. Same with clothes. Everything just needs to be taken care of.

I haven't done botox yet at 45 but I got on prescription strength tretinoin really early in life, so I don't have wrinkles just yet.

I feel like as one gets older, eating the proper amount is really the key to losing and then maintaining your weight. I've always had a fast metabolism and been able to eat however I want. After having a kid at 32 though, the weight was NOT coming off with just exercise. I used my fitness pal to figure out how much I should be eating to lose a pound a week and I was truly shocked at how many calories I was routinely eating every day. I was basically still eating like I was a pregnant a year and a half later! Once I got that under control, I was able to lose a pound per week and get back to my preferred weight pretty easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So glad I left DC every single one of you is nuts

"are" nuts, at least get it right if you are going to insult the participants of this conversation. Good luck with your life.

Actually, “is” modifies “one” in that sentence. “Every single one of you is nuts” is grammatically correct. Good luck with YOUR life!

Yep, is nuts is correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So glad I left DC every single one of you is nuts

"are" nuts, at least get it right if you are going to insult the participants of this conversation. Good luck with your life.

Actually, “is” modifies “one” in that sentence. “Every single one of you is nuts” is grammatically correct. Good luck with YOUR life!

Yep, is nuts is correct.

I love the self-righteous grammar correct fails on DCUM!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So glad I left DC every single one of you is nuts

+1
spent the majority of my life in the DC-metro area

had no clue how much nicer people were OUTSIDE of that elitist bubble

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So glad I left DC every single one of you is nuts

+1
spent the majority of my life in the DC-metro area

had no clue how much nicer people were OUTSIDE of that elitist bubble

.

Like a 1000% nicer. I feel a huge sense of relief whenever I leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So glad I left DC every single one of you is nuts

+1
spent the majority of my life in the DC-metro area

had no clue how much nicer people were OUTSIDE of that elitist bubble

.

Like a 1000% nicer. I feel a huge sense of relief whenever I leave.

+3. Way nicer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So glad I left DC every single one of you is nuts

+1
spent the majority of my life in the DC-metro area

had no clue how much nicer people were OUTSIDE of that elitist bubble

.

Like a 1000% nicer. I feel a huge sense of relief whenever I leave.

+3. Way nicer.

I'm from NYC. DC is provincial and much "nicer." I live in DC and get constant shit about what a backwater, not even a city, craphole this is. I don't get the elitist bubble thing at all, I'm a self selected rube for living in Dupont. Where are you all moving?

[Anonymous]

My kids are the same age as yours.

You just have to prioritize however you want. Looking good is a priority to me. I’m not a gym rat and dont like an overly toned look (kelly ripa) so I retain about 10 extra lbs. but I think you need that as you age. I have my beauty routine at 10 minutes. I dress well. I maintain my hair long as I like it that way-layered curls so little upkeep.

I DO need to do more cardio and weights for endurance but I have not prioritized it as I pass for skinny. Also I travel a lot for work and hate working out in hotel gyms as a female traveling alone. In the next couple months I’m planning to add in an hour a day now that I’ll be home a little more. When I’m ready to prioritize I will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So glad I left DC every single one of you is nuts

+1
spent the majority of my life in the DC-metro area

had no clue how much nicer people were OUTSIDE of that elitist bubble

.

Like a 1000% nicer. I feel a huge sense of relief whenever I leave.

+3. Way nicer.

I'm from NYC. DC is provincial and much "nicer." I live in DC and get constant shit about what a backwater, not even a city, craphole this is. I don't get the elitist bubble thing at all, I'm a self selected rube for living in Dupont. Where are you all moving?

Nobody cares. Go start a new thread about the great places you live that aren’t here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are the same age as yours.

You just have to prioritize however you want. Looking good is a priority to me. I’m not a gym rat and dont like an overly toned look (kelly ripa) so I retain about 10 extra lbs. but I think you need that as you age. I have my beauty routine at 10 minutes. I dress well. I maintain my hair long as I like it that way-layered curls so little upkeep.

I DO need to do more cardio and weights for endurance but I have not prioritized it as I pass for skinny. Also I travel a lot for work and hate working out in hotel gyms as a female traveling alone. In the next couple months I’m planning to add in an hour a day now that I’ll be home a little more. When I’m ready to prioritize I will.

You pass for skinny only in your assessment, which, I believe, is flawed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

Gyms have childcare. Being with your kids is no excuse. And since you know being out of shape is making you more tired it’s really no favor to them.

Putting your kids in gym childcare is not the same thing as spending time with your kids enraged in their interests and activities.

Yes that’s why one generally only uses it for say 90 minutes 4-5 times a week to stay healthy and energetic. Or one can make mommy martyr excuses then complain about it. Different strokes!

Do you have children? I see my toddler about 4 hours a day during the week. How am i supposed to sacrifice 1,5 hrs a day of that family time that i spend with my child?
I don't have a weight problem, but I just don't understand what is it you recommend.

And then 20 years later these women come to the Family board and complain how the new DIL or SIL doesn't let their "child" communicate with you, mom. No, it is the child prioritizing someone or something else in their life because you prioritized something else when they were kids. Dunno.
I guess it is doable when kids are asleep, but then you sacrifice the sleep time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

Gyms have childcare. Being with your kids is no excuse. And since you know being out of shape is making you more tired it’s really no favor to them.

Putting your kids in gym childcare is not the same thing as spending time with your kids enraged in their interests and activities.

Yes that’s why one generally only uses it for say 90 minutes 4-5 times a week to stay healthy and energetic. Or one can make mommy martyr excuses then complain about it. Different strokes!

Do you have children? I see my toddler about 4 hours a day during the week. How am i supposed to sacrifice 1,5 hrs a day of that family time that i spend with my child?
I don't have a weight problem, but I just don't understand what is it you recommend.

And then 20 years later these women come to the Family board and complain how the new DIL or SIL doesn't let their "child" communicate with you, mom. No, it is the child prioritizing someone or something else in their life because you prioritized something else when they were kids. Dunno.
I guess it is doable when kids are asleep, but then you sacrifice the sleep time.

NP - is there time in between when your kids go to sleep and when you go to sleep? I put the kids in bed at 8:30/9 and then work out before going to sleep. Not really sacrificing sleep unless you are going for a really long workout session. Something is better than nothing - and not only because you want to look good but to preserve your own health for your family!

[Anonymous]

The way to not let yourself go, is to prioritize, get creative, and multitask. During warm weather it's easy for me to stay in shape by doing outdoor activities with my kid (4yo). We play soccer, go on hikes, race each other everywhere, etc. I also try not to outsource physical labor when I can help it. That means I stay active raking leaves, gardening, etc (I do outsource this some, but do some myself). There is really no reason to chose between physical activity and time with the kids. You can just do your activity with the kids. Physical activity doesn't have to be working out in a gym. You can go canoeing, swimming, ice skating, etc. Integrate activity throughout the day through taking the stairs, parking far from the door, etc. Over time all these little changes add up. Oh, and drink lots of water! Sounds cliche, but it works.