How to not “let yourself go”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this as a fairly shallow person who works out, wears makeup, etc: After thinking about it, I really think the important things are sleep and being happy/vibrant. We all know thin ladies with good hair clothes and makeup who still look like tired old bags. Ina Garten is overweight, wears technically frumpy clothes, and has a boring haircut, but I don’t think anyone would say she’s let herself go. She looks happy and well rested. I think it’s something about the eyes that really makes a difference?

I do think she let herself go because she’s overweight.

PP. I just don’t agree that weight is the defining factor of letting yourself go. I think it’s a separate, maybe related. I personally would not say that Ina, Martha Stewart, Oprah, or Catharine Deneuve have let themselves go, even though they are all overweight. On the other hand, I 100% think Kellyanne Conway has let herself go even though she’s thin and has mostly decent clothes and hair. She just looks tired and unhappy.

I agree with all of this. Kellyanne looks like mutton dressed as lamb

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

Gyms have childcare. Being with your kids is no excuse. And since you know being out of shape is making you more tired it’s really no favor to them.

The quality of affordable gym daycare is abysmal. I quit because i couldn’t stomach my one year old watching an hour of TV a day.

This is mommy martyrism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think its really hard to stay in shape with kids unless you workout at home. You can get a good workout at home with some equipment...a treadmill with a virtual reality screen....some weights...maybe a peloton bike. Whatever you can do to get some vigorous exercise...even 20 mins a day will do wonders. I would never have time to go to they gym all the time. I usually go to the gym on Saturday and work out at home the rest of the time.

Agreed, working out at home is key, and you honestly don’t need any equipment. Jump squats and pushups are a really hard workout with no equipment. Not being able to get to the gym is not a reason to not work out.

[Anonymous]

Doctors should prescribe a weight and women should not breech it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

Sad, divorce coming to you soon

NP here, not all men divorce if you gain weight. My mom gained weight and my dad thought she was the most beautiful woman in the planet. I have gained weight, DH can't keep his hand off me.

What does he do with his other hand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

Sad, divorce coming to you soon

NP here, not all men divorce if you gain weight. My mom gained weight and my dad thought she was the most beautiful woman in the planet. I have gained weight, DH can't keep his hand off me.

What does he do with his other hand?

Covers his eye

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

Sad, divorce coming to you soon

NP here, not all men divorce if you gain weight. My mom gained weight and my dad thought she was the most beautiful woman in the planet. I have gained weight, DH can't keep his hand off me.

What does he do with his other hand?

Covers his eye

LMAO, you two. I am done. lolololol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

Sad, divorce coming to you soon

NP here, not all men divorce if you gain weight. My mom gained weight and my dad thought she was the most beautiful woman in the planet. I have gained weight, DH can't keep his hand off me.

What does he do with his other hand?

Covers his eye

LMAO, you two. I am done. lolololol

[Anonymous]

1. Sunscreen
2. 2 liters of water per day min
3. Don’t smoke
4. Sleep
5. Exercise-Nike Training club is free and on your phone
-your kids need to see you take care of yourself
-watch your friends kid while he/she goes to the gym then you do the same
6. Find clothes that fit you; tailor
7. Foundation ages you...beautiful lipstick and mascara go long way
8. If you know via genetics that you will wrinkle, get Botox preventively
9. Get a partner that appreciates you
10. Don’t make excuses

[Anonymous]

Also, for the sake of everyone...go see the doctor or calculate your BMI...<18 is underweight and puts you at risk for osteoporosis...so eat too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

Gyms have childcare. Being with your kids is no excuse. And since you know being out of shape is making you more tired it’s really no favor to them.

The quality of affordable gym daycare is abysmal. I quit because i couldn’t stomach my one year old watching an hour of TV a day.

This is mommy martyrism.

I disagree. I do other things for myself. I just know enough about child development to understand how important the first three years are. I’m not going to avoid the gym forever. We chose to spend more on a gym with better daycare until our youngest is three.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doctors should prescribe a weight and women should not breech it

Doctors really don’t know shit about weight and nutrition. But I assume your plan goes for men as well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Put the oxygen mask on yourself first... you've heard/hear that every time you fly. As women, we tend to put everyone and everything else first: our kids, our husbands, our jobs, our elderly parents, the neighbor with cancer, etc.

Take care of yourself first and the rest will follow.

That being said, I don't give a f*ck if other people think I've "let myself go." Sure, have gained 20 pounds, but am 55, not 25! Have raised 2 wonderful human beings. Am happy with my spouse and the life we've built for ourselves. Enjoy my job, which is at a non-profit and helps me feel like I am making a difference in this world.

I do not wear makeup (might throw on lipstick if we have a board meeting), high heels, dye my hair, nor do I go to a gym - although a couple of friends and I walk every morning. I might not look corporate, but I never have had that look. In my nonprofit world, jean's are the norm. In other words, I live MY life, happily, and comfortably.

I love this. You are my hero.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this as a fairly shallow person who works out, wears makeup, etc: After thinking about it, I really think the important things are sleep and being happy/vibrant. We all know thin ladies with good hair clothes and makeup who still look like tired old bags. Ina Garten is overweight, wears technically frumpy clothes, and has a boring haircut, but I don’t think anyone would say she’s let herself go. She looks happy and well rested. I think it’s something about the eyes that really makes a difference?

I do think she let herself go because she’s overweight.

PP. I just don’t agree that weight is the defining factor of letting yourself go. I think it’s a separate, maybe related. I personally would not say that Ina, Martha Stewart, Oprah, or Catharine Deneuve have let themselves go, even though they are all overweight. On the other hand, I 100% think Kellyanne Conway has let herself go even though she’s thin and has mostly decent clothes and hair. She just looks tired and unhappy.

I agree with all of this. Kellyanne looks like mutton dressed as lamb

My Lord this is such a fantastic point!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

Gyms have childcare. Being with your kids is no excuse. And since you know being out of shape is making you more tired it’s really no favor to them.

The quality of affordable gym daycare is abysmal. I quit because i couldn’t stomach my one year old watching an hour of TV a day.

This is mommy martyrism.

I disagree. I do other things for myself. I just know enough about child development to understand how important the first three years are. I’m not going to avoid the gym forever. We chose to spend more on a gym with better daycare until our youngest is three.

You don't know that much about it if you think that an hour of TV a few times a week is going to ruin them forever. Seriously.