How to not “let yourself go”?

[Anonymous]

Put the oxygen mask on yourself first... you've heard/hear that every time you fly. As women, we tend to put everyone and everything else first: our kids, our husbands, our jobs, our elderly parents, the neighbor with cancer, etc.

Take care of yourself first and the rest will follow.

That being said, I don't give a f*ck if other people think I've "let myself go." Sure, have gained 20 pounds, but am 55, not 25! Have raised 2 wonderful human beings. Am happy with my spouse and the life we've built for ourselves. Enjoy my job, which is at a non-profit and helps me feel like I am making a difference in this world.

I do not wear makeup (might throw on lipstick if we have a board meeting), high heels, dye my hair, nor do I go to a gym - although a couple of friends and I walk every morning. I might not look corporate, but I never have had that look. In my nonprofit world, jean's are the norm. In other words, I live MY life, happily, and comfortably.

[Anonymous]

Do you have kids? Easy to look good at 32 without kids.

[Anonymous]

Update! Don't have the same hairstyle you've had since high school.

Regular manicures.

Regular professional haircuts and color.

Decide early if you'll cover your grays.

Shoes are so aging and can ruin your look. Again, update.

In general, you shouldn't be wearing the same wardrobe for decades. Go ahead and say that a tee shirt and jeans are classics and therefore can't ever be out of style. Yes they can. Color and fit and styling of jeans are ever evolving.

I am 51 and spend weekends on the sidelines of DC games. Ugh. Parents who are likely fashionable and current and dress professionally for work throw on entire outfits from the 90s. Moms in boot cut, bedazzled low rise jeans with baby tees, dads in enormous light blue relaxed fit Levi's with a tucked in golf shirt.

[Anonymous]

PP 6:53. I have lots to say.

Own nothing that isn't flattering. Do a brutal wardrobe overhaul. Possibly you can keep the pajamas with holes that are like your security blanket, but otherwise, if it doesn't look good and make you feel good, donate or trash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most weight gain is about food, not exercise. Eating less doesn't take time. In fact, maybe you can use the time you would have spent eating working out instead.

That's harsh, yet true. Being thin just looks better than being overweight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

Gyms have childcare. Being with your kids is no excuse. And since you know being out of shape is making you more tired it’s really no favor to them.

Putting your kids in gym childcare is not the same thing as spending time with your kids enraged in their interests and activities.

Yes that’s why one generally only uses it for say 90 minutes 4-5 times a week to stay healthy and energetic. Or one can make mommy martyr excuses then complain about it. Different strokes!

90 minutes is more than half the time I have with my kid in a day. I’m not going to take her from daycare to the gym childcare 4-5 times/week.

Then Peloton at home, early AM before she wakes or after she goes to bed.

[Anonymous]

Maintain your weight and hair color.

Workout regularly including lifting weights to help fight off osteoporosis

Sunscreen
Retin-A
Botox
Regular haircuts. Keratin if your hair is frizzy.
Moisturize

Control alcohol intake (one glass of red wine several times a week is perfectly reasonable)

Update your wardrobe seasonally (use Trunk Club or other service if fashion isn't your thing). Use a good tailor to fit clothes well to your frame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Raising kids is super hard work. And letting yourself go might be one season, but when they get older, you can pick yourself back up, get a nice haircut, start working out again, and get nicer clothes. That's what I did. I look better at 45 than I did at 38. I was too tired and busy with 3 very small children to ever wear anything but J Crew shorts and schlumpy V-neck T-shirts during that time. I had a god awful sensible haircut, never wore makeup, and looked tired all the time. Now that my kids are in late-elementary, early middle school, I have enough time to jog twice a week and see a personal trainer once a week, afford better clothes because I have a job again, wear makeup and have a nicer haircut, and get botox twice a year. Letting yourself go is almost never a one-way street.

I too used a personal trainer in the earliest days of being a mom, not because the trainer taught me anything life changing, but because investing the money in him made me accountable. I knew I had to meet up with him or it was money down the drain. Worth it.

[Anonymous]

I'm a 38 yo SAHM of 3. I've been really strict with myself about maintaining my weight (I still weigh the same as I did on my wedding day) through three pregnancies and I make an effort to get my roots touched up every two weeks.

But other things, I admit, I've let go. I almost never wear makeup. I wear mostly cheap casual clothes from stores like Loft. I got rid of all my old work clothes ages ago. I wear comfy lounge clothes at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maintain your weight and hair color.

Workout regularly including lifting weights to help fight off osteoporosis

Sunscreen
Retin-A
Botox
Regular haircuts. Keratin if your hair is frizzy.
Moisturize

Control alcohol intake (one glass of red wine several times a week is perfectly reasonable)

Update your wardrobe seasonally (use Trunk Club or other service if fashion isn't your thing). Use a good tailor to fit clothes well to your frame.

Quitting drinking altogether does wonders for ones looks. The most attractive 45+ women I know Do NOT drink alcohol (or anything besides water, tea and/or coffee). I get that you love your wine, but alcohol consumption affects your sleep, your weight and, consequently, your looks.

[Anonymous]

Having watched my deterioration over the years, I would say avoid alcohol and avoid weight gain. Be super vigilant about maintaining your weight.

[Anonymous]

Drink Water
8 hours of sleep every single day
not a drop of alcohol
yoga
meditation
therapy
facials weekly


Lotion your face and your body daily

No gluten, carbs from a "box", preservatives in food
No fake sugar
no soda
No caffeine
No... none... not a drop of alcohol

only 1 fruit serving a day
many veggies
1 serving a meat a day
no dairy
10 nuts

Many reps of low weights
Run but no more than 5 miles... you end up walking like a duck if you run too much
sit ups, pushups, squats, lunges... every single day

[Anonymous]

Every woman.

She must make a good career. She must be an involved mother and spend quality time with her children. She must maintain attractive looks - go to the gym and beauty salons regularly. She must maintain her house and host social gatherings. She must cook healthy and delicious meals. She must keep her husband interested - date night, etc.

Am I missing anything?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maintain your weight and hair color.

Workout regularly including lifting weights to help fight off osteoporosis

Sunscreen
Retin-A
Botox
Regular haircuts. Keratin if your hair is frizzy.
Moisturize

Control alcohol intake (one glass of red wine several times a week is perfectly reasonable)

Update your wardrobe seasonally (use Trunk Club or other service if fashion isn't your thing). Use a good tailor to fit clothes well to your frame.

Eh I do all this besides the Botox.

But I still think I've let myself go. I almost never wear makeup, never "do" my hair (my hair is naturally very thick and wavy so I blow it dry once and let it do it's wavy thing).

I'm lucky that I'm naturally on the thinner side and I've been really strict about maintaining my weight and staying in shape by taking doing Pilates and Barre and running daily but I still wear casual clothing 99% of the time (jeans, tee shirts, casual sweaters - 90% of my clothing comes from Loft, J Crew, Anthro, and AG). At home, I downgrade to lounge clothing (joggers and a loose fitting tee shirt).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Drink Water
8 hours of sleep every single day
not a drop of alcohol
yoga
meditation
therapy
facials weekly


Lotion your face and your body daily

No gluten, carbs from a "box", preservatives in food
No fake sugar
no soda
No caffeine
No... none... not a drop of alcohol

only 1 fruit serving a day
many veggies
1 serving a meat a day
no dairy
10 nuts

Many reps of low weights
Run but no more than 5 miles... you end up walking like a duck if you run too much
sit ups, pushups, squats, lunges... every single day

Are you saying this is what you have to do to maintain your weight?

This is horrible. I'm 5'7, 118 lbs. and I drink coffee with cream, eat sugar and carbs every day, drink a couple glasses of wine every night. I could never live like that. I'd rather be dead.

My face reading this was like