How to not “let yourself go”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

Gyms have childcare. Being with your kids is no excuse. And since you know being out of shape is making you more tired it’s really no favor to them.

Putting your kids in gym childcare is not the same thing as spending time with your kids enraged in their interests and activities.

Yes that’s why one generally only uses it for say 90 minutes 4-5 times a week to stay healthy and energetic. Or one can make mommy martyr excuses then complain about it. Different strokes!

90 minutes is more than half the time I have with my kid in a day. I’m not going to take her from daycare to the gym childcare 4-5 times/week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

Gyms have childcare. Being with your kids is no excuse. And since you know being out of shape is making you more tired it’s really no favor to them.

Putting your kids in gym childcare is not the same thing as spending time with your kids enraged in their interests and activities.

Yes that’s why one generally only uses it for say 90 minutes 4-5 times a week to stay healthy and energetic. Or one can make mommy martyr excuses then complain about it. Different strokes!

90 minutes is more than half the time I have with my kid in a day. I’m not going to take her from daycare to the gym childcare 4-5 times/week.

You work part time but have less than 3 hours with your kid per day? What in the Sam Hill is going on with your schedule?!

[Anonymous]

My husband and I will comment that your 30s really can mean different things for different people. It’s crazy some of the folks I grew up with and how they look 48 now. A lot of it is having multiple children, but if you have money and discipline you can counteract that.

I don’t present as high maintenance, as I wear v little make up, don’t blow our out my hair, and normally wear jeans. But I invest in looking nice.

1) Botox. Say what you will but you want that down to earth, natural skin, naturally pretty, looking your best? Botox.
2) stay slim. This is v important. I don’t mean THIN THIN but slim for your body. What ever weight you naturally fall to, try to stay five pounds under that. I do IF
3) sleep. If you got off your phone you’d sleep. I also set my calendar to go to bed at 9pm twice a week. Like I’d keep a meeting or something. That trick has done wonders for me.
4) orgasm regularly, on your own or with a partner. Everyday before bed after your moisturizer routine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

Gyms have childcare. Being with your kids is no excuse. And since you know being out of shape is making you more tired it’s really no favor to them.

Putting your kids in gym childcare is not the same thing as spending time with your kids enraged in their interests and activities.

Yes that’s why one generally only uses it for say 90 minutes 4-5 times a week to stay healthy and energetic. Or one can make mommy martyr excuses then complain about it. Different strokes!

90 minutes is more than half the time I have with my kid in a day. I’m not going to take her from daycare to the gym childcare 4-5 times/week.

You work part time but have less than 3 hours with your kid per day? What in the Sam Hill is going on with your schedule?!

That’s someone else responding. I’m the PP with the part time job and this is the first thing I’ve written here since I posted my life story. I told OP there are better people than me so maybe she can be one of those people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

Gyms have childcare. Being with your kids is no excuse. And since you know being out of shape is making you more tired it’s really no favor to them.

Putting your kids in gym childcare is not the same thing as spending time with your kids enraged in their interests and activities.

Yes that’s why one generally only uses it for say 90 minutes 4-5 times a week to stay healthy and energetic. Or one can make mommy martyr excuses then complain about it. Different strokes!

90 minutes is more than half the time I have with my kid in a day. I’m not going to take her from daycare to the gym childcare 4-5 times/week.

You work part time but have less than 3 hours with your kid per day? What in the Sam Hill is going on with your schedule?!

That’s someone else responding. I’m the PP with the part time job and this is the first thing I’ve written here since I posted my life story. I told OP there are better people than me so maybe she can be one of those people.

Ridiculous. Being fit doesn’t make you a good or bad person. It just means you take care of you. You know, for your health, longevity, and energy levels. Stop moralizing it.

[Anonymous]

Give up alcohol by 30 and have a limit to how overweight you allow yourself to be before you do something about it. Mine is 12 lbs over goal. When the scale starts creeping up, I stop it and lose the weight. Much less daunting to drop 10-15 than 30+ pounds.

[Anonymous]

Raising kids is super hard work. And letting yourself go might be one season, but when they get older, you can pick yourself back up, get a nice haircut, start working out again, and get nicer clothes. That's what I did. I look better at 45 than I did at 38. I was too tired and busy with 3 very small children to ever wear anything but J Crew shorts and schlumpy V-neck T-shirts during that time. I had a god awful sensible haircut, never wore makeup, and looked tired all the time. Now that my kids are in late-elementary, early middle school, I have enough time to jog twice a week and see a personal trainer once a week, afford better clothes because I have a job again, wear makeup and have a nicer haircut, and get botox twice a year. Letting yourself go is almost never a one-way street.

[Anonymous]

This is very encouraging. Thank you.
-one tired mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 32 years old and am pretty well preserved. What can I do to not let myself go?

Stop being a husky, worthless, unlovable incel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Raising kids is super hard work. And letting yourself go might be one season, but when they get older, you can pick yourself back up, get a nice haircut, start working out again, and get nicer clothes. That's what I did. I look better at 45 than I did at 38. I was too tired and busy with 3 very small children to ever wear anything but J Crew shorts and schlumpy V-neck T-shirts during that time. I had a god awful sensible haircut, never wore makeup, and looked tired all the time. Now that my kids are in late-elementary, early middle school, I have enough time to jog twice a week and see a personal trainer once a week, afford better clothes because I have a job again, wear makeup and have a nicer haircut, and get botox twice a year. Letting yourself go is almost never a one-way street.

I agree with the sentiment. I’m 35 with three kids. Two (very close in age) are in elementary, one toddler. I look a lot better than when my older two were babies, but with a toddler, I give myself some grace. I wear casual, but nice clothes, and work out occasionally. If all kids were in school, I’d work out 90 min 4-5 times per week. But with a toddler, it is more like 40 min, plus an extra 20 to shower there twice per week, some weeks get skipped. And even at that, between packing a bag for both of us, working out, showering, driving there and back, it eats up most of the morning. It just isn’t the season in my life to be super dedicated to exercising. I control my weight with diet, but some extra toning would be nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do people say make-up makes you look better? It just makes you look like you put purchased products on your face.

Not if it's done correctly, sweetie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing is more aging than having children. Simply learning how to use birth control is 50% of the battle of not letting yourself go. The rest is diet and exercise, plenty of water, plenty of sleep. When you look good from within, the rest is just window dressing.

This is so true. The other most aging thing is weight gain. Doesn't matter how you keep the weight off - pills, smoking, etc. - you'll still look better and younger without the extra weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

You know I'm your age and have mostly kept fit, wear make up etc but I think you sound down and too hard on yourself. Truly, very alsmall changes will make you look & feel like a different person. I think you should commit to 15-20 min in am and do yoga w Adrianne or Jessica Smith (any of her videos she has everything - walking , Zumba , pilates etc).
Both are upbeat but not annoying. Good luck

[Anonymous]

Most weight gain is about food, not exercise. Eating less doesn't take time. In fact, maybe you can use the time you would have spent eating working out instead.

[Anonymous]

Don’t be a martyr about your kids. Just because you take a few minutes for yourself doesn’t make you a bad mom so don’t fall into that trap. You don’t need to wear makeup if you don’t want to but my “full face” for work takes 5 minutes and just evens me out and brightens me up. If makeup isn’t your thing good skincare doesn’t take long either. Buy something of good quality online while kid is napping and it takes 5 minutes to apply a toner or serum and a moisturizer. Not hard.

If you don’t have time or money for regular hair appointments skip any coloring and just get a cut every other month or even three times a year. Keep the cut simple so it doesn’t look mangled as it grows out. Condition your hair at home so it doesn’t get fried. On the weekends personally I don’t heat style at all (unless I have a special event I have to dress up for like a wedding or something) to save wear and tear.

Buy clothes that fit well. Whatever your size. Don’t keep things that are ratty. Have a nice pair of sunglasses and a nice looking purse and they make even comfy clothes look a little nicer when you’re out running around.