Do Women Really Not Want to Work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before I married and had kids, I thought I wanted the option to stay home. When I actually had a baby, I knew I wasn't capable of being an SAHM.

I'm the total opposite! Never imagined I'd stay home but once I had my first, knew I couldn't go back. Fortunate to be able to stay at home but I absolutely DO WORK. Childcare, housecare, family care is no joke. So when you ask do women really not want to work, OP, I think you may be confused about what staying at home entails.

A lot of men wouldn't last a month being a full-time stay-at-home parent.

You realize all the rest of us still do all the house care and family care despite both working right

Really? You take care of your kids full time while also working full time?

Exactly. If you outsource the care of your kids, you are not, despite what you want to tell yourself, doing the “family care,” especially when the kids are young. That is a lot of work, so the idea that a woman who does that is not “working” is preposterous.

Yes but what about all those sahms that have school aged kids so they are not doing childcare until 3:30 or 4:00 each day? I’d rather work at that time so I can be more productive and make use of my time. And like those sahms I take care of my kids when i’m home from work by 4:00 until they go to bed.

[Anonymous]

I am a SAHM with kids who are now in HS. I also have people to help me take care of household chores. I have my own money and I have equal share of whatever assets my DH has made in our marriage. No prenups. Married for 20+ years. Very happy marriage and good sex life. Yes, I volunteer for my pet causes and I have my hobbies. I have a full social life too. Do I care about what people think I should be doing with my life? No.

No ones life is the same for all times. I have done my bit as a WOHM with small kids in daycare. I have been a full time student and a blue-collar worker when I was younger. I have had my share of bad bosses and toxic work environment. My kids have been sick in daycare catching everything from rotavirus, enterovirus, flu, pinkeye, mono, mysterious stomach bugs etc and each time I worried how I could take time off from work. My house has been cluttered and messy when I was working and it was a source of stress for me and my family. Any unexpected visitor or need to entertain got me stressed because I was so stretched for time, energy and resources. I was unhappy with horrible commute. We have also lived paycheck to paycheck, and I understand why majority of people have to work.

We have at different times been in different stages of life and I can say one thing very easily - there is nothing noble and glamorous about having money problems, there is nothing great about being tired from work and coming home and doing housework, there is nothing fabulous (except money) about working with horrible people and toxic work environments. My husband's life was not better when I worked. My kids did not thrive in their academic and social life when I worked. If you can be the unicorn who can do it all - then I applaud you.

My current life has great financial stability and it gives me lots of free time to devote to doing everything I want to for my DH, home, kids and myself. Substantial outsourcing of household chores is the best use of our money and brings us great happiness. The easing of stress on my DH, kids and myself has been great. No, I do not want to work because I am not bored at home. I take college classes to learn new things and keep my mind sharp, I was frankly not seeing any intellectual growth by associating with my incompetent coworkers while working in corporate America. Now, I can help family, people and organizations because I am not stretched thin. I don't want to become a WOH because right now my life is good. I also know that things can change in an instant, but I have enough money, insurance, education and connection to get a job if I need and want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before I married and had kids, I thought I wanted the option to stay home. When I actually had a baby, I knew I wasn't capable of being an SAHM.

I'm the total opposite! Never imagined I'd stay home but once I had my first, knew I couldn't go back. Fortunate to be able to stay at home but I absolutely DO WORK. Childcare, housecare, family care is no joke. So when you ask do women really not want to work, OP, I think you may be confused about what staying at home entails.

A lot of men wouldn't last a month being a full-time stay-at-home parent.

You realize all the rest of us still do all the house care and family care despite both working right

Really? You take care of your kids full time while also working full time?

Exactly. If you outsource the care of your kids, you are not, despite what you want to tell yourself, doing the “family care,” especially when the kids are young. That is a lot of work, so the idea that a woman who does that is not “working” is preposterous.

Yes but what about all those sahms that have school aged kids so they are not doing childcare until 3:30 or 4:00 each day? I’d rather work at that time so I can be more productive and make use of my time. And like those sahms I take care of my kids when i’m home from work by 4:00 until they go to bed.

Even with the kids in school, full time work is just more hectic in a household. I think if a sahm wants to tone that down and stay home even if her kids are in school then that works. No worries about sick kids or random days off school either. Those have been killing me (I woh). Really, part time would be ideal. I would love to work 9-3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM with kids who are now in HS. I also have people to help me take care of household chores. I have my own money and I have equal share of whatever assets my DH has made in our marriage. No prenups. Married for 20+ years. Very happy marriage and good sex life. Yes, I volunteer for my pet causes and I have my hobbies. I have a full social life too. Do I care about what people think I should be doing with my life? No.

No ones life is the same for all times. I have done my bit as a WOHM with small kids in daycare. I have been a full time student and a blue-collar worker when I was younger. I have had my share of bad bosses and toxic work environment. My kids have been sick in daycare catching everything from rotavirus, enterovirus, flu, pinkeye, mono, mysterious stomach bugs etc and each time I worried how I could take time off from work. My house has been cluttered and messy when I was working and it was a source of stress for me and my family. Any unexpected visitor or need to entertain got me stressed because I was so stretched for time, energy and resources. I [i]was unhappy with horrible commute. We have also lived paycheck to paycheck, and I understand why majority of people have to work.

We have at different times been in different stages of life and I can say one thing very easily - there is nothing noble and glamorous about having money problems, there is nothing great about being tired from work and coming home and doing housework, there is nothing fabulous (except money) about working with horrible people and toxic work environments. My husband's life was not better when I worked. My kids did not thrive in their academic and social life when I worked. If you can be the unicorn who can do it all - then I applaud you.

My current life has great financial stability and it gives me lots of free time to devote to doing everything I want to for my DH, home, kids and myself. Substantial outsourcing of household chores is the best use of our money and brings us great happiness. The easing of stress on my DH, kids and myself has been great. No, I do not want to work because I am not bored at home. I take college classes to learn new things and keep my mind sharp, I was frankly not seeing any intellectual growth by associating with my incompetent coworkers while working in corporate America. Now, I can help family, people and organizations because I am not stretched thin. I don't want to become a WOH because right now my life is good. I also know that things can change in an instant, but I have enough money, insurance, education and connection to get a job if I need and want.

It sounds like your problem wasn’t having a job but instead that your spouse didn’t do his share. I don’t want to quit my job so I can handle every child illness and every responsibility while my husband is out there moving up in his career. I’m not unpaid labor so my husband has an easier life.

[Anonymous]

I am. I totally want my husband to have an easier life! My kids too! Shocking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM with kids who are now in HS. I also have people to help me take care of household chores. I have my own money and I have equal share of whatever assets my DH has made in our marriage. No prenups. Married for 20+ years. Very happy marriage and good sex life. Yes, I volunteer for my pet causes and I have my hobbies. I have a full social life too. Do I care about what people think I should be doing with my life? No.

No ones life is the same for all times. I have done my bit as a WOHM with small kids in daycare. I have been a full time student and a blue-collar worker when I was younger. I have had my share of bad bosses and toxic work environment. My kids have been sick in daycare catching everything from rotavirus, enterovirus, flu, pinkeye, mono, mysterious stomach bugs etc and each time I worried how I could take time off from work. My house has been cluttered and messy when I was working and it was a source of stress for me and my family. Any unexpected visitor or need to entertain got me stressed because I was so stretched for time, energy and resources. I [i]was unhappy with horrible commute. We have also lived paycheck to paycheck, and I understand why majority of people have to work.

We have at different times been in different stages of life and I can say one thing very easily - there is nothing noble and glamorous about having money problems, there is nothing great about being tired from work and coming home and doing housework, there is nothing fabulous (except money) about working with horrible people and toxic work environments. My husband's life was not better when I worked. My kids did not thrive in their academic and social life when I worked. If you can be the unicorn who can do it all - then I applaud you.

My current life has great financial stability and it gives me lots of free time to devote to doing everything I want to for my DH, home, kids and myself. Substantial outsourcing of household chores is the best use of our money and brings us great happiness. The easing of stress on my DH, kids and myself has been great. No, I do not want to work because I am not bored at home. I take college classes to learn new things and keep my mind sharp, I was frankly not seeing any intellectual growth by associating with my incompetent coworkers while working in corporate America. Now, I can help family, people and organizations because I am not stretched thin. I don't want to become a WOH because right now my life is good. I also know that things can change in an instant, but I have enough money, insurance, education and connection to get a job if I need and want.

[/b]It sounds like your problem wasn’t having a job but instead that your spouse didn’t do his share. I don’t want to quit my job so I can handle every child illness and every responsibility while my husband is out there moving up in his career. I’m not unpaid labor so my husband has an easier life.

[b]

+1000 Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a stay at home mom of school aged kids. I don’t work because I don’t have to and don’t want to. There are other reasons but that’s the most powerful one. I love not having a boss or restraints on my time or annoying paper work or go workers or entitled clients to deal with etc., etc. Most jobs are kind of a drag.

Let’s face it, how many people would continue working if they won the lotto? Not many. Most people would devote their time to hobbies, leisure, socializing, travel, volunteering etc.

I disagree with this theory. Plenty of people Work who may fall under the category of “don’t have to.” do you think Reese Witherspoon really needs the money? No.

You simply may have different financial goals than others who continued working. I feel that even with a high earning spouse and relatively wealthy Parents that I’d be doing myself a disservice not working and contributing to retirement and receiving subsidized healthcare.

The sad truth is that few SAHMs get to spend a lot of time traveling, socializing and leisure. Most are taking care of kids or spending their time on household duties. They are doing unpaid labor for men while their husbands get to go to work, earn money and have indepdence.

Are you really comparing yourself to Reece Witherspoon?

Clearly being a SAHM has made your brain mush and you can’t read. My point was that there are plenty of women who don’t have to work who work. For example, Reese Witherspoon.

How much time do you really think Reese Witherspoon spends working?

A lot. Filming a movie takes a lot of time. She also constantly posts on IG and now is touring regarding her upcoming book.

She doesn’t post on Instagram, her staff does, her book is most likely ghost written and she may make one movie a year, that films for a month or two total. You seem a bit out of touch with how celebrities live. There is very little work involved.

Well she’s in the photos that are posted. So she’s at least spending time posing for all of these photos. All the time.

Filming any sort of movie or TV show is a time suck. You obviously don’t know anything about this.

So six to eight weeks filming a movie and then posing for “a lot” of pictures. Most of her time is still leisure time. Not really comparable at all to this who work office jobs, 5 plus days a week, 50 or so weeks a year.

[Anonymous]

Do Women Really Not Want to Work?

Newsflash: Women dream of not having to work for a living.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Do Women Really Not Want to Work?

Newsflash: Women dream of not having to work for a living.

So do men.

Reason people play the lottery. Most everyone works because they need the money.

[Anonymous]

My workaholic husband doesn’t appreciate anything that goes into running a household or raising children, so no way would I quit a career for that. I still do it all and with a nanny housekeeper, but he needs a full time mom to take for granted (again).

[Anonymous]

For many married women, “needing to work” is subjective. They might not need to work to put food on the table and keep the lights on, but they might want a nicer home, better vacations, and more enrichment for their children. Some are willing to make the trade off for less time with their kids and a more stressful lifestyle in order to access more of the finer things.

At another level, even the finer things are already paid for. Here if married women work it is for enjoyment; to maintain independence, self-worth, or social status; or even to respond to a higher calling or a sense that there’s a need in the world that only they can fill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My workaholic husband doesn’t appreciate anything that goes into running a household or raising children, so no way would I quit a career for that. I still do it all and with a nanny housekeeper, but he needs a full time mom to take for granted (again).

Wow you showed him.

[Anonymous]

i want to work, but only for 4 hours a day. i also want time off for all school holidays and snow days and when kids fall sick. what am i willing to forgo? medical insurance.

[Anonymous]

I worked a bunch before kids and was pretty successful. I’ve enjoyed some time home with my kids. I still want to work - but only if I can have flexible hours and am in a role that directly helps people. No desire to be another cog in the corporate machine again. It’s just not fulfilling despite the hefty paycheck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked a bunch before kids and was pretty successful. I’ve enjoyed some time home with my kids. I still want to work - but only if I can have flexible hours and am in a role that directly helps people. No desire to be another cog in the corporate machine again. It’s just not fulfilling despite the hefty paycheck.

And my husband is ready to take off some time at work to swap roles. We equally don’t want to work in unfulfilling jobs.