Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

[Anonymous]

Studies show that women desire different kinds of men at different points in their menstrual cycles. It means they are willing to take different kinds of risks due to hormones.

The differences are stark and yet folks here and elsewhere try to promote equality blindly. I don't understand that willful ignorance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Studies show that women desire different kinds of men at different points in their menstrual cycles. It means they are willing to take different kinds of risks due to hormones.

The differences are stark and yet folks here and elsewhere try to promote equality blindly. I don't understand that willful ignorance.

What studies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men and women are different sexually.
Men wake up everyday full of testosterone with millions of sperm ready to make babies everyday.
Women have one precious egg a month. For 1 week a month they will have all the feel good hormones kicking in telling them all is right with the world, they will feel very sexually aroused when they are ovulating and the body tells them go have sex now. If the egg is not fertilized then the hormones start to fall and the yucky pms ones set in. Now a woman feels less happy with the world. The body is saying"I didn't get pregnant so get away from me now you (man) are not needed this week." Then a woman bleeds, it is like a period of mourning and the hormones settle down. It all starts again the next month. All of these hormones effect how men and women bond with each other. We use are intellect and the "norms" of society to overcome our differences. BC pills do alter how a woman feels. But I think any mother needs to tell her daughter why she may have different emotional feelings than a man when it comes to sex and why she feels differently during different weeks in the month.

This is an honest answer from an honest woman.

Men and women are not the same people!!

Meant to say "men and women are not the same, people!"

Assuming this is accurate - which it isn't in my experience, FYI - what on earth does this have to do with how many sexual partners men/women "should" have?

Gag on the "precious egg" bit. Please don't glorify my ovaries. It's creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Studies show that women desire different kinds of men at different points in their menstrual cycles. It means they are willing to take different kinds of risks due to hormones.

The differences are stark and yet folks here and elsewhere try to promote equality blindly. I don't understand that willful ignorance.

What studies?

http://rspb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/269/1494/975.short

http://rspb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/265/1399/927.short

http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v399/n6738/abs/399741a0.html

http://rsbl.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/1/3/256.short

http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/psp/92/1/151/

and that is just the tip of the iceberg

this notion is not disputed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men and women are different sexually.
Men wake up everyday full of testosterone with millions of sperm ready to make babies everyday.
Women have one precious egg a month. For 1 week a month they will have all the feel good hormones kicking in telling them all is right with the world, they will feel very sexually aroused when they are ovulating and the body tells them go have sex now. If the egg is not fertilized then the hormones start to fall and the yucky pms ones set in. Now a woman feels less happy with the world. The body is saying"I didn't get pregnant so get away from me now you (man) are not needed this week." Then a woman bleeds, it is like a period of mourning and the hormones settle down. It all starts again the next month. All of these hormones effect how men and women bond with each other. We use are intellect and the "norms" of society to overcome our differences. BC pills do alter how a woman feels. But I think any mother needs to tell her daughter why she may have different emotional feelings than a man when it comes to sex and why she feels differently during different weeks in the month.

This is an honest answer from an honest woman.

Men and women are not the same people!!

Meant to say "men and women are not the same, people!"

Assuming this is accurate - which it isn't in my experience, FYI - what on earth does this have to do with how many sexual partners men/women "should" have?

Gag on the "precious egg" bit. Please don't glorify my ovaries. It's creepy.

I am the OP but not the PP in this original quote here.

Because the outcomes are so vastly different.

Male and female have sex. Male walks away and is never seen again. Female is pregnant for 9 months and has child to care for for 18 years+. Male could never think about it ever again.

See how sex is different?

And yes, we have found ways to reduce this in current times - but the emotional hard wiring that protects/motivates both genders in this experience still remains and can't be evolved away in two generations.

[Anonymous]

Yes, of course there are different risks to having sex for the genders. This is not new. Women have been saying "no" to sex for millenia. We still do, but we can make the choice to say "yes" to the partners we would like to have sex with. All of those mate selection ties to attraction still apply. This doesn't have anything to do with the number of partners a woman chooses to have during her lifetime.

How old are you? I find it strange that you can talk about the science of reproduction so candidly without considering the enjoyable parts of sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men and women are different sexually.
Men wake up everyday full of testosterone with millions of sperm ready to make babies everyday.
Women have one precious egg a month. For 1 week a month they will have all the feel good hormones kicking in telling them all is right with the world, they will feel very sexually aroused when they are ovulating and the body tells them go have sex now. If the egg is not fertilized then the hormones start to fall and the yucky pms ones set in. Now a woman feels less happy with the world. The body is saying"I didn't get pregnant so get away from me now you (man) are not needed this week." Then a woman bleeds, it is like a period of mourning and the hormones settle down. It all starts again the next month. All of these hormones effect how men and women bond with each other. We use are intellect and the "norms" of society to overcome our differences. BC pills do alter how a woman feels. But I think any mother needs to tell her daughter why she may have different emotional feelings than a man when it comes to sex and why she feels differently during different weeks in the month.

This is an honest answer from an honest woman.Men and women are not the same. people!!

Assuming this is accurate - which it isn't in my experience, FYI - what on earth does this have to do with how many sexual partners men/women "should" have? Gag on the "precious egg" bit. please don't glorify my ovaries. It's creepy.

I am the OP but not the PP in this original quote here. Because the outcomes are so vastly different.Male and female have sex. Male walks away and is never seen again. Female is pregnant for 9 months and has child to care for for 18 years+. Male could never think about it ever again. See how sex is different? And yes, we have found ways to reduce this in current times - but the emotional hard wiring that protects/motivates both genders in this experience still remains and can't be evolved away in two generations.

The reproductive cost for women is exponentially higher biologically, emotionally and socially than for men. This forum is full of women who have left their careers to stay at home for their babies, and those who are working struggling with the challenges of motherhood and childcare. So the whole SAHM and WOHM debate happens because biologically the women are having babies and their brain chemistry which is determining their bonding with their infants,

Can my daughter have sex with men with the same detachment that men have sex with women? Even with condoms and pills - can she be untouched emotionally, compartmentalize sex and carry on with her goals and career? If she can't - then she has no business to have sex unless she is looking for a partner - in that case in her 20s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, of course there are different risks to having sex for the genders. This is not new. Women have been saying "no" to sex for millenia. We still do, but we can make the choice to say "yes" to the partners we would like to have sex with. All of those mate selection ties to attraction still apply. This doesn't have anything to do with the number of partners a woman chooses to have during her lifetime.

How old are you? I find it strange that you can talk about the science of reproduction so candidly without considering the enjoyable parts of sex.

The different risks demand different consideration and different decision making around taking on new partners. We also know that increased numbers of partners increases risks of STDs such as HPV which can lead to infertility.

Every time a female has sex with a new partner, she increases (even if slightly) the probability that she may become infertile. She also takes a risk becoming impregnated with a substandard mating partner - which would take away her chance to mate with the best DNA she can. The risks are huge.

Thus, yes - number count is a metric to manage to mitigate these risks in addition to BC, condoms and such.

I am late 30's and love sex. Not sure why that is relevant to the discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men and women are different sexually.
Men wake up everyday full of testosterone with millions of sperm ready to make babies everyday.
Women have one precious egg a month. For 1 week a month they will have all the feel good hormones kicking in telling them all is right with the world, they will feel very sexually aroused when they are ovulating and the body tells them go have sex now. If the egg is not fertilized then the hormones start to fall and the yucky pms ones set in. Now a woman feels less happy with the world. The body is saying"I didn't get pregnant so get away from me now you (man) are not needed this week." Then a woman bleeds, it is like a period of mourning and the hormones settle down. It all starts again the next month. All of these hormones effect how men and women bond with each other. We use are intellect and the "norms" of society to overcome our differences. BC pills do alter how a woman feels. But I think any mother needs to tell her daughter why she may have different emotional feelings than a man when it comes to sex and why she feels differently during different weeks in the month.

This is an honest answer from an honest woman.Men and women are not the same. people!!

Assuming this is accurate - which it isn't in my experience, FYI - what on earth does this have to do with how many sexual partners men/women "should" have? Gag on the "precious egg" bit. please don't glorify my ovaries. It's creepy.

I am the OP but not the PP in this original quote here. Because the outcomes are so vastly different.Male and female have sex. Male walks away and is never seen again. Female is pregnant for 9 months and has child to care for for 18 years+. Male could never think about it ever again. See how sex is different? And yes, we have found ways to reduce this in current times - but the emotional hard wiring that protects/motivates both genders in this experience still remains and can't be evolved away in two generations.

The reproductive cost for women is exponentially higher biologically, emotionally and socially than for men. This forum is full of women who have left their careers to stay at home for their babies, and those who are working struggling with the challenges of motherhood and childcare. So the whole SAHM and WOHM debate happens because biologically the women are having babies and their brain chemistry which is determining their bonding with their infants,

Can my daughter have sex with men with the same detachment that men have sex with women? Even with condoms and pills - can she be untouched emotionally, compartmentalize sex and carry on with her goals and career? If she can't - then she has no business to have sex unless she is looking for a partner - in that case in her 20s.

Is it healthy to try and overcome the natural instincts and feelings that you lay out there? Just so she can have a new penis inside of her temporarily?

[Anonymous]

I'm just glad that the conversation has returned to reality. It was quite troubling upthread where (presumed) women were trying to say that men and women were the same and that sex for each was the same!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm just glad that the conversation has returned to reality. It was quite troubling upthread where (presumed) women were trying to say that men and women were the same and that sex for each was the same!

Sexism is expecting women to remain chaste while cheering on men to have as many partners as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, of course there are different risks to having sex for the genders. This is not new. Women have been saying "no" to sex for millenia. We still do, but we can make the choice to say "yes" to the partners we would like to have sex with. All of those mate selection ties to attraction still apply. This doesn't have anything to do with the number of partners a woman chooses to have during her lifetime.

How old are you? I find it strange that you can talk about the science of reproduction so candidly without considering the enjoyable parts of sex.

The different risks demand different consideration and different decision making around taking on new partners. We also know that increased numbers of partners increases risks of STDs such as HPV which can lead to infertility.

Every time a female has sex with a new partner, she increases (even if slightly) the probability that she may become infertile. She also takes a risk becoming impregnated with a substandard mating partner - which would take away her chance to mate with the best DNA she can. The risks are huge.

Thus, yes - number count is a metric to manage to mitigate these risks in addition to BC, condoms and such.

I am late 30's and love sex. Not sure why that is relevant to the discussion.

It's relevant because you are hyper-focused on risk and give no consideration to the benefits of a healthy sex life, including, but not limited to healthy attitudes about sex. Sensible precautions eliminate the vast majority of the risks. Keep in mind the statistics include those who do not take any precautions.

There's risk to everything. My risk of injury is much higher because I drive to work everyday in a car. I'm not going to start walking to lower that risk. Sensible precautions eliminate the vast majority of that risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm just glad that the conversation has returned to reality. It was quite troubling upthread where (presumed) women were trying to say that men and women were the same and that sex for each was the same!

Sexism is expecting women to remain chaste while cheering on men to have as many partners as possible.

Sexism is a ridiculous notion to apply to this matter.

Should men and women be able to vote? yes.

Should they be able to have the same jobs and get paid the same? yes.

Should they have choices as to what they want to do with their life SAHM/WOHM? yes.

Should they be considered the same sexually as men with the same risk/reward profile? NO.

It just ISNT the same, and its not a prejudice, its acknowledging of reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, of course there are different risks to having sex for the genders. This is not new. Women have been saying "no" to sex for millenia. We still do, but we can make the choice to say "yes" to the partners we would like to have sex with. All of those mate selection ties to attraction still apply. This doesn't have anything to do with the number of partners a woman chooses to have during her lifetime.

How old are you? I find it strange that you can talk about the science of reproduction so candidly without considering the enjoyable parts of sex.

The different risks demand different consideration and different decision making around taking on new partners. We also know that increased numbers of partners increases risks of STDs such as HPV which can lead to infertility.

Every time a female has sex with a new partner, she increases (even if slightly) the probability that she may become infertile. She also takes a risk becoming impregnated with a substandard mating partner - which would take away her chance to mate with the best DNA she can. The risks are huge.

Thus, yes - number count is a metric to manage to mitigate these risks in addition to BC, condoms and such.

I am late 30's and love sex. Not sure why that is relevant to the discussion.

It's relevant because you are hyper-focused on risk and give no consideration to the benefits of a healthy sex life, including, but not limited to healthy attitudes about sex. Sensible precautions eliminate the vast majority of the risks. Keep in mind the statistics include those who do not take any precautions.

There's risk to everything. My risk of injury is much higher because I drive to work everyday in a car. I'm not going to start walking to lower that risk. Sensible precautions eliminate the vast majority of that risk.

80 million people have HPV http://www.cdc.gov/media/releases/2013/p0619-hpv-vaccinations.html

do that many people get in a car accident every year?

the risks are exponentially greater. terrible example.

a healthy sex life does NOT have to include high number counts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm just glad that the conversation has returned to reality. It was quite troubling upthread where (presumed) women were trying to say that men and women were the same and that sex for each was the same!

Sexism is expecting women to remain chaste while cheering on men to have as many partners as possible.

Sexism is a ridiculous notion to apply to this matter.

Should men and women be able to vote? yes.

Should they be able to have the same jobs and get paid the same? yes.

Should they have choices as to what they want to do with their life SAHM/WOHM? yes.

Should they be considered the same sexually as men with the same risk/reward profile? NO.

It just ISNT the same, and its not a prejudice, its acknowledging of reality.

Just like we don't expect women to have the same physical standards to serve in the marines. There are real physical differences.