What’s the best housing situation during divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Picturing this kids packing up their backpacks after having to visit this ahole at his Airbnb and listen to him talk about how this is good for them and they don’t know what’s good for them is making me upset.

The name calling is unnecessary. When my kids are older they will understand that I had no choice and that this truly was the best option for me, my wife, and for them. They are too young to understand now.

And it is not an Airbnb. It’s a beautifully furnished townhouse. If I was in a dumpy little house scraping together furniture or wasting my time shopping, I know I would get the same amount of criticism. Dads can’t win.

They will have their own opinion of your choices. Just like they do now. You’d be naive to think they’ll agree with them, and you may write them off as “too young” but the custody evaluator will ask their opinions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Picturing this kids packing up their backpacks after having to visit this ahole at his Airbnb and listen to him talk about how this is good for them and they don’t know what’s good for them is making me upset.

The name calling is unnecessary. When my kids are older they will understand that I had no choice and that this truly was the best option for me, my wife, and for them. They are too young to understand now.

And it is not an Airbnb. It’s a beautifully furnished townhouse. If I was in a dumpy little house scraping together furniture or wasting my time shopping, I know I would get the same amount of criticism. Dads can’t win.

They are too young to understand now, and when they continue to “not understand” as adults I’m sure you will have more reasons that it’s not your fault.

You think a 10 and 12 year old are "too young" to understand?! They're tweens, the oldest might be in middle school already depending on district. They understand a ton - yes, even though upthread you declared them "immature" because of their mother's parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So your message to your wife is "I'm divorcing you, but I want you to store my childhood stuff until I decide it's convenient for me to pick it up". You don't get to have it both ways! Either she's your wife or she's not!

Technically it’s still my house that we bought together, so I have a right to use that space and it doesn’t make sense to pay for a storage space when I literally own a storage space.

And my reason for thinking we should sell it is that she can’t afford it on her own and can’t afford to buy me out. So I shouldn’t have to keep spending my post-marital income on it. We are divorcing and it isn’t my responsibility to provide her with the house just because she says she isn’t ready to move. It would be best for both of us to sell it quickly and move on.

I think both my kids and my wife are too focused on stuff and houses and maybe a positive of the divorce will show them that they should focus on experiences and travel and things like studying for school, preparing for the future, etc. If my wife spent the time she’s worried about decorating for Christmas and preparing for holidays over the years on a career, she wouldn’t be in the financial situation she claims she’s in.

Got a new girlfriend, eh?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How long have you been bouncing around? Why did you file for divorce without a plan for where to live with your children?

It’s only been ~7 weeks and some of that was spent traveling for work on trips that have been planned since last spring, so it’s time that has always been planned around me being away for work.

I’m making the plan now. It would have been wasteful to spend money on a lease before I really needed it.

Only would be wasteful if you didn't value having custody with your kids. You have just demonstrated that they weren't important enough to you to spend time with them and make them feel at home with you during the hardest moment in their lives. But this is actually super helpful for everyone to see, as you clearly can't be more than an every other weekend dad. Get furnished and let them choose some accents that they love - you don't care enough to make it a true home for them.

This is hard for me and arguably for their mom, but it is not hard for the kids. Their lives aren’t changing and they still have two parents who love them and friends and school and their activities. If anything this is the moment in their lives when everything is getting better.

Oh my God. Your custody evaluation is going to go *so badly*.

Tell me again why they refuse to unpack at your house, if their life is great and they aren't having a hard time.

They don’t bring anything over and won’t stay over, presumably because their mother is preventing them from doing so. The custody evaluator will see that. My wife is going to come across as emotional and not able to support the kids. I can provide the financial stability they need.

It isn't hard for the kids?? Their father just left their family and decided that work was more important than being with them for the transition. It is incredibly hard for them. But it is good that you prioritized work now if that is your goal. You are now just a $$$ dad.

That’s a bunch of nonsense. The transition has hardly started and if they want a roof over their head, I have to work. I don’t have a choice.

It really isn’t hard for them. I’m the one juggling work with finding an entire new house and dealing with huge expenses and legal obligations. They go to school and to fun activities and see their friends. They are fine.

You don't think their refusal to unpack or enter their new bedrooms indicates anything of concern?

If juggling all of this is hard for you, maybe more advance planning would have helped. Advance planning is an important part of parenting, so you're going to have to learn to do it.

Yes, it brings up concerns that the kids are too lazy to set up their rooms because they’re spoiled by their mother, and won’t go into them because she’s told them not to.

I pray you are a troll because you are just a horrible person, parent, and spouse. Why do you have to blame their mom for everything? You are obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So your message to your wife is "I'm divorcing you, but I want you to store my childhood stuff until I decide it's convenient for me to pick it up". You don't get to have it both ways! Either she's your wife or she's not!

Technically it’s still my house that we bought together, so I have a right to use that space and it doesn’t make sense to pay for a storage space when I literally own a storage space.

And my reason for thinking we should sell it is that she can’t afford it on her own and can’t afford to buy me out. So I shouldn’t have to keep spending my post-marital income on it. We are divorcing and it isn’t my responsibility to provide her with the house just because she says she isn’t ready to move. It would be best for both of us to sell it quickly and move on.

I think both my kids and my wife are too focused on stuff and houses and maybe a positive of the divorce will show them that they should focus on experiences and travel and things like studying for school, preparing for the future, etc. If my wife spent the time she’s worried about decorating for Christmas and preparing for holidays over the years on a career, she wouldn’t be in the financial situation she claims she’s in.

I seriously hope your lawyer is telling you to shut up and to run all communications with your spouse by her. If not, you're about to be taken to the cleaners (justifiably so).

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been bouncing around? Why did you file for divorce without a plan for where to live with your children?

It’s only been ~7 weeks and some of that was spent traveling for work on trips that have been planned since last spring, so it’s time that has always been planned around me being away for work.

I’m making the plan now. It would have been wasteful to spend money on a lease before I really needed it.

Do you seriously have zero furniture?

I ask because furnishing a house will be at significant expense.

Do you WANT to choose your furniture? It could be really fun for kids to pick their own beds and desks and have input on the couch, etc. But this only works if you can guide them a bit and you have a vision. Otherwise your house will just look sloppy and weird.

Realistically, I think either option is fine. No judge will give you less custody because you have an ugly couch.

I got a very nice fully furnished townhouse that’s actually brand new and way nicer than our old house. It doesn’t look sloppy and weird- my oldest actually said when she walked it that “it looks like a hotel”, which is way nicer than anything anyone has said about how my wife furnished our old house.

My kids don’t need to pick furniture because it came with everything, so now we don’t have to waste our time running errands and waiting for delivery, which apparently would have taken months.

Oh, I thought your wife decorated with Pottery Barn, and you don’t need that level? That’s what you posted. You are definitely a sad troll.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How long have you been bouncing around? Why did you file for divorce without a plan for where to live with your children?

It’s only been ~7 weeks and some of that was spent traveling for work on trips that have been planned since last spring, so it’s time that has always been planned around me being away for work.

I’m making the plan now. It would have been wasteful to spend money on a lease before I really needed it.

Only would be wasteful if you didn't value having custody with your kids. You have just demonstrated that they weren't important enough to you to spend time with them and make them feel at home with you during the hardest moment in their lives. But this is actually super helpful for everyone to see, as you clearly can't be more than an every other weekend dad. Get furnished and let them choose some accents that they love - you don't care enough to make it a true home for them.

This is hard for me and arguably for their mom, but it is not hard for the kids. Their lives aren’t changing and they still have two parents who love them and friends and school and their activities. If anything this is the moment in their lives when everything is getting better.

Oh my God. Your custody evaluation is going to go *so badly*.

Tell me again why they refuse to unpack at your house, if their life is great and they aren't having a hard time.

They don’t bring anything over and won’t stay over, presumably because their mother is preventing them from doing so. The custody evaluator will see that. My wife is going to come across as emotional and not able to support the kids. I can provide the financial stability they need.

It isn't hard for the kids?:?? Their father just left their family and decided that work was more important than being with them for the transition. It is incredibly hard for them. But it is good that you prioritized work now if that is your goal. You are now just a $$$ dad.

That’s a bunch of nonsense. The transition has hardly started and if they want a roof over their head, I have to work. I don’t have a choice.

It really isn’t hard for them. I’m the one juggling work with finding an entire new house and dealing with huge expenses and legal obligations. They go to school and to fun activities and see their friends. They are fine.

You don't think their refusal to unpack or enter their new bedrooms indicates anything of concern?

If juggling all of this is hard for you, maybe more advance planning would have helped. Advance planning is an important part of parenting, so you're going to have to learn to do it.

Yes, it brings up concerns that the kids are too lazy to set up their rooms because they’re spoiled by their mother, and won’t go into them because she’s told them not to.

Didn’t you say your kids are 10 and 12? Be careful, they’re getting close to the ages where a judge won’t force them to spend time with you and it sure doesn’t seem like they want to.

It’s 18 in my state.

So you'll be happy as long as they're coerced into your presence? You don't care if they actually enjoy it at all?

Legally it may be 18 but I think you'll find it quite difficult to coerce a 17 year old, even if a judge is willing.

My 14yr old regularly declines visits and refuses to spend time with her father. These kids are going to do the same thing in just a few years.

My attorney said that as soon as the custody evaluation is done and we have a parenting plan in place, their mother can be held in contempt if the kids don’t sho up where they are required to.

Again, is showing up the only goal, or do you aspire to have a good relationship? Because courts will not blame the mom for every instance of teenage rudeness that occurs when she isn't even present. You need to take some responsibility here and stop blaming everything on their mother. Maybe some of this is your fault. Because nobody's perfect, right?

One of the hallmarks of high conflict personalities is splitting people into all-good or all-bad. OP is all-good. OP's spouse is all-bad. Kids will end up one or the other depending on if they behave like good little automatons or not. And their status can change from day-to-day. Only thing that will stay the same is that OP is all-good.

This divorce is going to be incredibly awful for their kids. I hope their mother is a good protective parent, and not also high conflict.

I promise you that any conflict is coming from my wife. I’ve said from the beginning to her that I want this to be easy and cooperative. She’s the one getting in the way of that.

And I’ll add that she is the one who ran out and hired her own attorney when that really wasn’t even necessary. It wasn’t adversarial until she did that.

Lol. Wow, is there a playbook? My exH said the exact same to me 10 years ago when I retained a lawyer (both he and his AP were lawyers).

OP and I think your ex had a point. If I was already paying for one attorney AND my wife isn’t working, it makes zero sense for me to pay for two attorneys replicating each others’ work for one divorce. Maybe if my wife had an income it would start to make sense, but given our financial situation, our financial interests are one and the same and obviously since we share our children that should be aligned as well.

Even if we accept your pretty psychopathic take on the world and the people in it, it would be illogical for your wife not to lawyer up and try to get every cent she can from you. You clearly despise her and think she deserves the legal minimum, so what would be the upside of cooperating with you? She should hire a shark and fight every inch.

This is a serious question because you are consistently terrible but this part doesn’t even make sense.

Per my attorney, the obvious upside is speeding up the divorce process, saving money, and getting a more fair split of custody and our assets. Bringing in another legal party into this is only going to slow things down and dilute whatever my wife gets, and she’s just buying whatever her attorney feeds her about it being a better outcome to do it her way.

No sane spouse would NOT get their own lawyer. Especially dealing with a cold, no feeling jerk like you. Your poor kids.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How long have you been bouncing around? Why did you file for divorce without a plan for where to live with your children?

It’s only been ~7 weeks and some of that was spent traveling for work on trips that have been planned since last spring, so it’s time that has always been planned around me being away for work.

I’m making the plan now. It would have been wasteful to spend money on a lease before I really needed it.

Only would be wasteful if you didn't value having custody with your kids. You have just demonstrated that they weren't important enough to you to spend time with them and make them feel at home with you during the hardest moment in their lives. But this is actually super helpful for everyone to see, as you clearly can't be more than an every other weekend dad. Get furnished and let them choose some accents that they love - you don't care enough to make it a true home for them.

This is hard for me and arguably for their mom, but it is not hard for the kids. Their lives aren’t changing and they still have two parents who love them and friends and school and their activities. If anything this is the moment in their lives when everything is getting better.

Oh my God. Your custody evaluation is going to go *so badly*.

Tell me again why they refuse to unpack at your house, if their life is great and they aren't having a hard time.

They don’t bring anything over and won’t stay over, presumably because their mother is preventing them from doing so. The custody evaluator will see that. My wife is going to come across as emotional and not able to support the kids. I can provide the financial stability they need.

It isn't hard for the kids?:?? Their father just left their family and decided that work was more important than being with them for the transition. It is incredibly hard for them. But it is good that you prioritized work now if that is your goal. You are now just a $$$ dad.

That’s a bunch of nonsense. The transition has hardly started and if they want a roof over their head, I have to work. I don’t have a choice.

It really isn’t hard for them. I’m the one juggling work with finding an entire new house and dealing with huge expenses and legal obligations. They go to school and to fun activities and see their friends. They are fine.

You don't think their refusal to unpack or enter their new bedrooms indicates anything of concern?

If juggling all of this is hard for you, maybe more advance planning would have helped. Advance planning is an important part of parenting, so you're going to have to learn to do it.

Yes, it brings up concerns that the kids are too lazy to set up their rooms because they’re spoiled by their mother, and won’t go into them because she’s told them not to.

Didn’t you say your kids are 10 and 12? Be careful, they’re getting close to the ages where a judge won’t force them to spend time with you and it sure doesn’t seem like they want to.

It’s 18 in my state.

So you'll be happy as long as they're coerced into your presence? You don't care if they actually enjoy it at all?

Legally it may be 18 but I think you'll find it quite difficult to coerce a 17 year old, even if a judge is willing.

My 14yr old regularly declines visits and refuses to spend time with her father. These kids are going to do the same thing in just a few years.

My attorney said that as soon as the custody evaluation is done and we have a parenting plan in place, their mother can be held in contempt if the kids don’t sho up where they are required to.

Again, is showing up the only goal, or do you aspire to have a good relationship? Because courts will not blame the mom for every instance of teenage rudeness that occurs when she isn't even present. You need to take some responsibility here and stop blaming everything on their mother. Maybe some of this is your fault. Because nobody's perfect, right?

One of the hallmarks of high conflict personalities is splitting people into all-good or all-bad. OP is all-good. OP's spouse is all-bad. Kids will end up one or the other depending on if they behave like good little automatons or not. And their status can change from day-to-day. Only thing that will stay the same is that OP is all-good.

This divorce is going to be incredibly awful for their kids. I hope their mother is a good protective parent, and not also high conflict.

I promise you that any conflict is coming from my wife. I’ve said from the beginning to her that I want this to be easy and cooperative. She’s the one getting in the way of that.

And I’ll add that she is the one who ran out and hired her own attorney when that really wasn’t even necessary. It wasn’t adversarial until she did that.

Not adversarial but you're too petty to pick up a box of ornaments?

She’s the one who’s too petty to store them in OUR huge house.

If you're not petty, go get it.

Her attorney told my attorney I had to stop using my keys and coming over, so no, I can’t just go get my stuff even if I had space for it.

My wife actually threw a huge inappropriate tantrum about it. I could file a motion for access to the house or to have it completely but I’m not going to be a jerk at Christmas and it would take a while to get a hearing anyway.

Your wife will be the luckiest woman on earth to be rid of you and your boorish personality.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How long have you been bouncing around? Why did you file for divorce without a plan for where to live with your children?

It’s only been ~7 weeks and some of that was spent traveling for work on trips that have been planned since last spring, so it’s time that has always been planned around me being away for work.

I’m making the plan now. It would have been wasteful to spend money on a lease before I really needed it.

Only would be wasteful if you didn't value having custody with your kids. You have just demonstrated that they weren't important enough to you to spend time with them and make them feel at home with you during the hardest moment in their lives. But this is actually super helpful for everyone to see, as you clearly can't be more than an every other weekend dad. Get furnished and let them choose some accents that they love - you don't care enough to make it a true home for them.

This is hard for me and arguably for their mom, but it is not hard for the kids. Their lives aren’t changing and they still have two parents who love them and friends and school and their activities. If anything this is the moment in their lives when everything is getting better.

Oh my God. Your custody evaluation is going to go *so badly*.

Tell me again why they refuse to unpack at your house, if their life is great and they aren't having a hard time.

They don’t bring anything over and won’t stay over, presumably because their mother is preventing them from doing so. The custody evaluator will see that. My wife is going to come across as emotional and not able to support the kids. I can provide the financial stability they need.

It isn't hard for the kids?? Their father just left their family and decided that work was more important than being with them for the transition. It is incredibly hard for them. But it is good that you prioritized work now if that is your goal. You are now just a $$$ dad.

That’s a bunch of nonsense. The transition has hardly started and if they want a roof over their head, I have to work. I don’t have a choice.

It really isn’t hard for them. I’m the one juggling work with finding an entire new house and dealing with huge expenses and legal obligations. They go to school and to fun activities and see their friends. They are fine.

You don't think their refusal to unpack or enter their new bedrooms indicates anything of concern?

If juggling all of this is hard for you, maybe more advance planning would have helped. Advance planning is an important part of parenting, so you're going to have to learn to do it.

Yes, it brings up concerns that the kids are too lazy to set up their rooms because they’re spoiled by their mother, and won’t go into them because she’s told them not to.

I pray you are a troll because you are just a horrible person, parent, and spouse. Why do you have to blame their mom for everything? You are obnoxious.

Billy Eddy has written a variety of books on people just like this in divorce. Promise they exist. Splitting people into all-good and all-bad is a hallmark of type b personality disorder traits (and you don't have to have a fullblown disorder to just have more than a usual amount of the traits).

But I really hope this one is a troll.

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe what an a-hole this guy is. Truly cannot believe what I just read. How did we as a society let someone like this come to exist? I hope her lawyers find this and take everything. He doesn’t want custody. He doesn’t want to provide for his kids. He wants to hurt them by hurting their mother bc she didn’t make enough money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe what an a-hole this guy is. Truly cannot believe what I just read. How did we as a society let someone like this come to exist? I hope her lawyers find this and take everything. He doesn’t want custody. He doesn’t want to provide for his kids. He wants to hurt them by hurting their mother bc she didn’t make enough money.

I’m not trying to hurt my kids, but I do think this is an learning opportunity for my wife to look at her life and think about the decisions she made that forced me into making this choice. I provide plenty well for my kids and I want them to have custody because my wife shouldn’t have it and isn’t capable of taking care of them and she’s shown that.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How long have you been bouncing around? Why did you file for divorce without a plan for where to live with your children?

It’s only been ~7 weeks and some of that was spent traveling for work on trips that have been planned since last spring, so it’s time that has always been planned around me being away for work.

I’m making the plan now. It would have been wasteful to spend money on a lease before I really needed it.

Only would be wasteful if you didn't value having custody with your kids. You have just demonstrated that they weren't important enough to you to spend time with them and make them feel at home with you during the hardest moment in their lives. But this is actually super helpful for everyone to see, as you clearly can't be more than an every other weekend dad. Get furnished and let them choose some accents that they love - you don't care enough to make it a true home for them.

This is hard for me and arguably for their mom, but it is not hard for the kids. Their lives aren’t changing and they still have two parents who love them and friends and school and their activities. If anything this is the moment in their lives when everything is getting better.

Oh my God. Your custody evaluation is going to go *so badly*.

Tell me again why they refuse to unpack at your house, if their life is great and they aren't having a hard time.

They don’t bring anything over and won’t stay over, presumably because their mother is preventing them from doing so. The custody evaluator will see that. My wife is going to come across as emotional and not able to support the kids. I can provide the financial stability they need.

It isn't hard for the kids?? Their father just left their family and decided that work was more important than being with them for the transition. It is incredibly hard for them. But it is good that you prioritized work now if that is your goal. You are now just a $$$ dad.

That’s a bunch of nonsense. The transition has hardly started and if they want a roof over their head, I have to work. I don’t have a choice.

It really isn’t hard for them. I’m the one juggling work with finding an entire new house and dealing with huge expenses and legal obligations. They go to school and to fun activities and see their friends. They are fine.

You don't think their refusal to unpack or enter their new bedrooms indicates anything of concern?

If juggling all of this is hard for you, maybe more advance planning would have helped. Advance planning is an important part of parenting, so you're going to have to learn to do it.

Yes, it brings up concerns that the kids are too lazy to set up their rooms because they’re spoiled by their mother, and won’t go into them because she’s told them not to.

I pray you are a troll because you are just a horrible person, parent, and spouse. Why do you have to blame their mom for everything? You are obnoxious.

Billy Eddy has written a variety of books on people just like this in divorce. Promise they exist. Splitting people into all-good and all-bad is a hallmark of type b personality disorder traits (and you don't have to have a fullblown disorder to just have more than a usual amount of the traits).

But I really hope this one is a troll.

I don’t have any kind of disorder, but I think the custody evaluation will reveal that my wife is out of control and not mentally stable enough to take care of the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:So your message to your wife is "I'm divorcing you, but I want you to store my childhood stuff until I decide it's convenient for me to pick it up". You don't get to have it both ways! Either she's your wife or she's not!

Technically it’s still my house that we bought together, so I have a right to use that space and it doesn’t make sense to pay for a storage space when I literally own a storage space.

And my reason for thinking we should sell it is that she can’t afford it on her own and can’t afford to buy me out. So I shouldn’t have to keep spending my post-marital income on it. We are divorcing and it isn’t my responsibility to provide her with the house just because she says she isn’t ready to move. It would be best for both of us to sell it quickly and move on.

I think both my kids and my wife are too focused on stuff and houses and maybe a positive of the divorce will show them that they should focus on experiences and travel and things like studying for school, preparing for the future, etc. If my wife spent the time she’s worried about decorating for Christmas and preparing for holidays over the years on a career, she wouldn’t be in the financial situation she claims she’s in.

I seriously hope your lawyer is telling you to shut up and to run all communications with your spouse by her. If not, you're about to be taken to the cleaners (justifiably so).

My attorney writes all of my emails for me now because my wife kept trying to set up traps for me via email. That is no longer a concern and I’m fortunate to have such a hands-on attorney who understands the level of crazy I am dealing with when it comes to trying to communicate with my wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe what an a-hole this guy is. Truly cannot believe what I just read. How did we as a society let someone like this come to exist? I hope her lawyers find this and take everything. He doesn’t want custody. He doesn’t want to provide for his kids. He wants to hurt them by hurting their mother bc she didn’t make enough money.

I’m not trying to hurt my kids, but I do think this is an learning opportunity for my wife to look at her life and think about the decisions she made that forced me into making this choice. I provide plenty well for my kids and I want them to have custody because my wife shouldn’t have it and isn’t capable of taking care of them and she’s shown that.

But you're too busy to care for them, so who's going to do it?

You can't say my wife is awful and crazy and incompetent and also make her your #1 childcare option.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How long have you been bouncing around? Why did you file for divorce without a plan for where to live with your children?

It’s only been ~7 weeks and some of that was spent traveling for work on trips that have been planned since last spring, so it’s time that has always been planned around me being away for work.

I’m making the plan now. It would have been wasteful to spend money on a lease before I really needed it.

Only would be wasteful if you didn't value having custody with your kids. You have just demonstrated that they weren't important enough to you to spend time with them and make them feel at home with you during the hardest moment in their lives. But this is actually super helpful for everyone to see, as you clearly can't be more than an every other weekend dad. Get furnished and let them choose some accents that they love - you don't care enough to make it a true home for them.

This is hard for me and arguably for their mom, but it is not hard for the kids. Their lives aren’t changing and they still have two parents who love them and friends and school and their activities. If anything this is the moment in their lives when everything is getting better.

Oh my God. Your custody evaluation is going to go *so badly*.

Tell me again why they refuse to unpack at your house, if their life is great and they aren't having a hard time.

They don’t bring anything over and won’t stay over, presumably because their mother is preventing them from doing so. The custody evaluator will see that. My wife is going to come across as emotional and not able to support the kids. I can provide the financial stability they need.

It isn't hard for the kids?? Their father just left their family and decided that work was more important than being with them for the transition. It is incredibly hard for them. But it is good that you prioritized work now if that is your goal. You are now just a $$$ dad.

That’s a bunch of nonsense. The transition has hardly started and if they want a roof over their head, I have to work. I don’t have a choice.

It really isn’t hard for them. I’m the one juggling work with finding an entire new house and dealing with huge expenses and legal obligations. They go to school and to fun activities and see their friends. They are fine.

You don't think their refusal to unpack or enter their new bedrooms indicates anything of concern?

If juggling all of this is hard for you, maybe more advance planning would have helped. Advance planning is an important part of parenting, so you're going to have to learn to do it.

Yes, it brings up concerns that the kids are too lazy to set up their rooms because they’re spoiled by their mother, and won’t go into them because she’s told them not to.

I pray you are a troll because you are just a horrible person, parent, and spouse. Why do you have to blame their mom for everything? You are obnoxious.

Billy Eddy has written a variety of books on people just like this in divorce. Promise they exist. Splitting people into all-good and all-bad is a hallmark of type b personality disorder traits (and you don't have to have a fullblown disorder to just have more than a usual amount of the traits).

But I really hope this one is a troll.

I don’t have any kind of disorder, but I think the custody evaluation will reveal that my wife is out of control and not mentally stable enough to take care of the kids.

So your plan that you will present to the custody evaluator is that while you are on work travel, an out of control and mentally unstable person will care for your children singlehandedly. Yes?