What’s the best housing situation during divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Come on, this is obviously a troll post!

How would Mr. Big Important Busy Job really have the time to come on here and respond in detail to every response? And he just gets more insufferable with each reply. He's just trying to push your buttons.

Again, you make a lot of assumptions about me. I’m in an airport lounge waiting for a delayed flight. It’s way too loud to make calls and I don’t have anything better to do anyway.

Yes, I’m busy, but I’m also allowed to take a break once in a while.

Yes, lots of high-powered men like yourself are sitting around in airport lounges trolling DCUM. Lol. Surely you have work to catch up on. Maybe if you are truly taking a break from work, try googling "how many sets of sheets do I need for 3 beds?"

Ah, flight delays! What is your plan, OP, for childcare when your flight is delayed. Are you going to have a nanny on standby? Dump the problem on your wife?

[Anonymous]

Wow, judgmental lot in the first 3 pages and child of divorce at that age (12) and was very close to my dad who moved across the country but did not move with him. Like the idea of taking the kids furniture shopping. I like Greenfront in VA. They have a wide variety of furniture in stock on the floor and you pick out the pieces that you like. I thought the prices were very reasonable and you don't have to see if it is in stock, just have to work out the delivery availability. My husband had us only pick out all the pieces for a room - so one couch, 2 chairs and an ottoman. Highly recommend that approach if you are shopping there, makes sure the room works together. Think your kids would enjoy helping at that age. Make sure you have a good breakfast and snacks in the car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, judgmental lot in the first 3 pages and child of divorce at that age (12) and was very close to my dad who moved across the country but did not move with him. Like the idea of taking the kids furniture shopping. I like Greenfront in VA. They have a wide variety of furniture in stock on the floor and you pick out the pieces that you like. I thought the prices were very reasonable and you don't have to see if it is in stock, just have to work out the delivery availability. My husband had us only pick out all the pieces for a room - so one couch, 2 chairs and an ottoman. Highly recommend that approach if you are shopping there, makes sure the room works together. Think your kids would enjoy helping at that age. Make sure you have a good breakfast and snacks in the car.

Thank you for your support but I ended up getting a really nicely furnished rental and didn’t need to deal with furniture or kitchen accessories after all. It was going to be an AirBnb but I got the owners to rent it to me on a proper lease for the time being.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How long have you been bouncing around? Why did you file for divorce without a plan for where to live with your children?

It’s only been ~7 weeks and some of that was spent traveling for work on trips that have been planned since last spring, so it’s time that has always been planned around me being away for work.

I’m making the plan now. It would have been wasteful to spend money on a lease before I really needed it.

Only would be wasteful if you didn't value having custody with your kids. You have just demonstrated that they weren't important enough to you to spend time with them and make them feel at home with you during the hardest moment in their lives. But this is actually super helpful for everyone to see, as you clearly can't be more than an every other weekend dad. Get furnished and let them choose some accents that they love - you don't care enough to make it a true home for them.

This is hard for me and arguably for their mom, but it is not hard for the kids. Their lives aren’t changing and they still have two parents who love them and friends and school and their activities. If anything this is the moment in their lives when everything is getting better.

Oh my God. Your custody evaluation is going to go *so badly*.

Tell me again why they refuse to unpack at your house, if their life is great and they aren't having a hard time.

They don’t bring anything over and won’t stay over, presumably because their mother is preventing them from doing so. The custody evaluator will see that. My wife is going to come across as emotional and not able to support the kids. I can provide the financial stability they need.

It isn't hard for the kids?:?? Their father just left their family and decided that work was more important than being with them for the transition. It is incredibly hard for them. But it is good that you prioritized work now if that is your goal. You are now just a $$$ dad.

That’s a bunch of nonsense. The transition has hardly started and if they want a roof over their head, I have to work. I don’t have a choice.

It really isn’t hard for them. I’m the one juggling work with finding an entire new house and dealing with huge expenses and legal obligations. They go to school and to fun activities and see their friends. They are fine.

You don't think their refusal to unpack or enter their new bedrooms indicates anything of concern?

If juggling all of this is hard for you, maybe more advance planning would have helped. Advance planning is an important part of parenting, so you're going to have to learn to do it.

Yes, it brings up concerns that the kids are too lazy to set up their rooms because they’re spoiled by their mother, and won’t go into them because she’s told them not to.

Didn’t you say your kids are 10 and 12? Be careful, they’re getting close to the ages where a judge won’t force them to spend time with you and it sure doesn’t seem like they want to.

It’s 18 in my state.

There is no state in the U.S. where a judge will refuse to hear from a 12 y/o (or their GAL) if that 12 y/o has a compelling (to the judge and GAL, not to you) reason to have a perspective on custody.

So OP, when your children tell the custody evaluator how little they feel you value them (I imagine you’ve told them how easy this divorce is on them and how hard on you?) and they want to stay in their home with their mother (I’d say 3 years of use is pretty normal in this area, no one will let you throw her on the street and sell her home from under her) are you going to start prioritizing them?

You lawyer seems to be making big promises but I wonder if you’re understanding that she is not making the decisions here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, judgmental lot in the first 3 pages and child of divorce at that age (12) and was very close to my dad who moved across the country but did not move with him. Like the idea of taking the kids furniture shopping. I like Greenfront in VA. They have a wide variety of furniture in stock on the floor and you pick out the pieces that you like. I thought the prices were very reasonable and you don't have to see if it is in stock, just have to work out the delivery availability. My husband had us only pick out all the pieces for a room - so one couch, 2 chairs and an ottoman. Highly recommend that approach if you are shopping there, makes sure the room works together. Think your kids would enjoy helping at that age. Make sure you have a good breakfast and snacks in the car.

Kids not interested in being with dad.

[Anonymous]

Picturing this kids packing up their backpacks after having to visit this ahole at his Airbnb and listen to him talk about how this is good for them and they don’t know what’s good for them is making me upset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Picturing this kids packing up their backpacks after having to visit this ahole at his Airbnb and listen to him talk about how this is good for them and they don’t know what’s good for them is making me upset.

By the time they are teenagers they won't be speaking to him anymore, and he will blame it on his ex.

[Anonymous]

Don’t worry, this is so awful it has to be fake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Picturing this kids packing up their backpacks after having to visit this ahole at his Airbnb and listen to him talk about how this is good for them and they don’t know what’s good for them is making me upset.

The name calling is unnecessary. When my kids are older they will understand that I had no choice and that this truly was the best option for me, my wife, and for them. They are too young to understand now.

And it is not an Airbnb. It’s a beautifully furnished townhouse. If I was in a dumpy little house scraping together furniture or wasting my time shopping, I know I would get the same amount of criticism. Dads can’t win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Picturing this kids packing up their backpacks after having to visit this ahole at his Airbnb and listen to him talk about how this is good for them and they don’t know what’s good for them is making me upset.

The name calling is unnecessary. When my kids are older they will understand that I had no choice and that this truly was the best option for me, my wife, and for them. They are too young to understand now.

And it is not an Airbnb. It’s a beautifully furnished townhouse. If I was in a dumpy little house scraping together furniture or wasting my time shopping, I know I would get the same amount of criticism. Dads can’t win.

And all the times you no-showed because your flight was late?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Picturing this kids packing up their backpacks after having to visit this ahole at his Airbnb and listen to him talk about how this is good for them and they don’t know what’s good for them is making me upset.

The name calling is unnecessary. When my kids are older they will understand that I had no choice and that this truly was the best option for me, my wife, and for them. They are too young to understand now.

And it is not an Airbnb. It’s a beautifully furnished townhouse. If I was in a dumpy little house scraping together furniture or wasting my time shopping, I know I would get the same amount of criticism. Dads can’t win.

They are too young to understand now, and when they continue to “not understand” as adults I’m sure you will have more reasons that it’s not your fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Picturing this kids packing up their backpacks after having to visit this ahole at his Airbnb and listen to him talk about how this is good for them and they don’t know what’s good for them is making me upset.

The name calling is unnecessary. When my kids are older they will understand that I had no choice and that this truly was the best option for me, my wife, and for them. They are too young to understand now.

And it is not an Airbnb. It’s a beautifully furnished townhouse. If I was in a dumpy little house scraping together furniture or wasting my time shopping, I know I would get the same amount of criticism. Dads can’t win.

You said your children's lives are not changing. So what is there for them to understand?

I'm sure they will love sitting around with a nanny at your rental while you're on work travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Picturing this kids packing up their backpacks after having to visit this ahole at his Airbnb and listen to him talk about how this is good for them and they don’t know what’s good for them is making me upset.

The name calling is unnecessary. When my kids are older they will understand that I had no choice and that this truly was the best option for me, my wife, and for them. They are too young to understand now.

And it is not an Airbnb. It’s a beautifully furnished townhouse. If I was in a dumpy little house scraping together furniture or wasting my time shopping, I know I would get the same amount of criticism. Dads can’t win.

They are too young to understand now, and when they continue to “not understand” as adults I’m sure you will have more reasons that it’s not your fault.

I also find this hard to understand! For example,.I'm not quite grasping why OP's wife would agree to cover all his travel and never have a consistent custody schedule. I also find it hard to understand why OP's wife can't prove financial stability through a job, child support, alimony, and other assets.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’d pick the place you like that you can stay long term. If that is unfurnished, I’d then rent furniture to get thru the short term (thru Cort) while you work to furnish it with stuff you like and they like.

Thanks- that makes sense and could quickly take care of couch and table and then I have time to wait for delivery of something nicer and permanent.

Any ideas for a service that could furnish all of my kitchen needs and things like towels and bedding in one go? If I could just get it all picked out and delivered instead of spending a weekend running around getting everything, it would be more time I could spend doing fun stuff with my kids.

Yeah, Target or Macy's. You can get everything for a kitchen and bathrooms there. Don't forget to wash all bedding and towels before using.

Is there a normal amount of things like towels that people have? Is there a way to get a list of this stuff?

Now we know why you are divorcing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this the guy that missed his parenting class?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1298389.page

Wow same tone and bad toxic attitude !! Sounds like him

It has to be him. Clueless and entitled.