What’s the best housing situation during divorce?

[Anonymous]

Dad here. I have a choice: rent a furnished house or rent an empty townhouse. I have 2 kids and haven’t been having overnights or anything since I filed for divorce. I’ve been bouncing around between hotels, airbnbs, etc. With the holidays coming up and a custody evaluation starting soon, it’s time to get a place ready for my kids to spend more time with me.

Is it better to rent a house that’s fully furnished and ready to go but with stuff that isn’t the kids’ stuff or their familiar things and might be a little impersonal, or would it be better to rent a place that’s empty and furnish it gradually with things the kids choose? I’m getting different advice from my attorney, family and friends.

[Anonymous]

How long have you been bouncing around? Why did you file for divorce without a plan for where to live with your children?

[Anonymous]

Do whichever is more affordable and/or in a better location. In either situation get the kids new bedding that they pick out and immediately frame and put up some photos of you with them and extended family on your side.

[Anonymous]

The furnished house is better. Because then you'd have furniture. People like furniture. What else would you do, have your kids sit on the floor because you have no house?

I'm stunned that you would file for divorce without thinking this through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been bouncing around? Why did you file for divorce without a plan for where to live with your children?

It’s only been ~7 weeks and some of that was spent traveling for work on trips that have been planned since last spring, so it’s time that has always been planned around me being away for work.

I’m making the plan now. It would have been wasteful to spend money on a lease before I really needed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do whichever is more affordable and/or in a better location. In either situation get the kids new bedding that they pick out and immediately frame and put up some photos of you with them and extended family on your side.

Location is similar. Furnished place is larger and more expensive but the lease is only until the spring and then I would need to find another place, which wouldn’t be the worst thing if our settlement allows me to buy out our marital home. There’s also the possibility that my office would move and I would want my residence to be closer to work anyway. The kids are in private school so school district staying the same isn’t the concern it would otherwise be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The furnished house is better. Because then you'd have furniture. People like furniture. What else would you do, have your kids sit on the floor because you have no house?

I'm stunned that you would file for divorce without thinking this through.

I would go to IKEA and other places and let the kids have some choice. They are 10 and 12 and the age when I think they might like some input, but it also might be overwhelming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been bouncing around? Why did you file for divorce without a plan for where to live with your children?

It’s only been ~7 weeks and some of that was spent traveling for work on trips that have been planned since last spring, so it’s time that has always been planned around me being away for work.

I’m making the plan now. It would have been wasteful to spend money on a lease before I really needed it.

So you were too busy with work to even *think* about where your children would live? Come on. How are you going to have any significant amount of custody if this is your attitude?

Nobody's saying you should have had a lease start 7 weeks ago, but you could have done the research and made the decisions and even signed something in advance. If you had your act together, that's what you would have done.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been bouncing around? Why did you file for divorce without a plan for where to live with your children?

It’s only been ~7 weeks and some of that was spent traveling for work on trips that have been planned since last spring, so it’s time that has always been planned around me being away for work.

I’m making the plan now. It would have been wasteful to spend money on a lease before I really needed it.

So you were too busy with work to even *think* about where your children would live? Come on. How are you going to have any significant amount of custody if this is your attitude?

Nobody's saying you should have had a lease start 7 weeks ago, but you could have done the research and made the decisions and even signed something in advance. If you had your act together, that's what you would have done.

I can sign either lease as soon as tomorrow. I’m trying to be careful with my spending.

[Anonymous]

Are you the guy from before, whose attorney assured him the wife would opt for nesting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you the guy from before, whose attorney assured him the wife would opt for nesting?

That was not me. My wife would never go for something like that and I respect her job.

Furnished or unfurnished? I’ll put it out there that my instinct is to take a longer term place and make it my own and help the kids make it feel like it really belongs to them. I think the custody evaluation won’t go well if they are being observed in what might feel to them like someone else’s space even if it belongs to me. On the other hand, it’s going to take a ton of work to get all of the little things I need to make it functional.

[Anonymous]

I’d pick the place you like that you can stay long term. If that is unfurnished, I’d then rent furniture to get thru the short term (thru Cort) while you work to furnish it with stuff you like and they like.

[Anonymous]

Moving the kids multiple times would be hard -

[Anonymous]

Poor kids. What an unfortunate life they were born into. Parents fuxxed them up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d pick the place you like that you can stay long term. If that is unfurnished, I’d then rent furniture to get thru the short term (thru Cort) while you work to furnish it with stuff you like and they like.

Thanks- that makes sense and could quickly take care of couch and table and then I have time to wait for delivery of something nicer and permanent.

Any ideas for a service that could furnish all of my kitchen needs and things like towels and bedding in one go? If I could just get it all picked out and delivered instead of spending a weekend running around getting everything, it would be more time I could spend doing fun stuff with my kids.