38F - OLD apps: not getting any matches

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore the mean comments here. I'm a 39F, single mom, who could stand to lose a few pounds and I get dozens of matches a day.

I didn't look through the thread to see if you posted what's on your profile, but my advice:

1. Remove filters NOT because you need to lower your standards, but because most people don't bother filling out their profile all the way. So you'll miss out on people who don't have things filled out 100%.

2. Slightly sexy photos. You don't want to be overtly sexy (turn off for many serious men), but you do want to look beautiful/pretty/etc. Think more girly, sundresses, curled hair. Play up your best feature. Learn how to pose, hire a photographer if needed. My first picture on my profile is me in leggings and a T-shirt, but I have my hair/makeup done VERY well and I'm holding a pen in my mouth so slightly suggestive.

3. Don't lead with a bunch of requirements in your profile, like "I want a man who wants kids blah blah blah". Nobody wants to feel like a broodmare/stallion. The kids conversation comes up later on, after a few dates.

Instead put in things for men to comment on, that make you stand out. The "two truths and a lie" prompt is a good one, along with any unique hobbies, things you collect, etc. I like to give things for men to guess so they have a reason to match/write, so I'll say something like "I collect memorabilia from a popular 90s sitcom" and men write me to guess which one.

4. Pay for Premium and only go through men who have already swiped right on you. I get like 300+ men who swipe right on me a day, there's plenty to go thru and your chances of finding someone goes WAY up.

Good luck!

How is 300+ a day possible? Are some of these swipes repeats? Are some of these men based in different locations than you?

*I've never used a dating app so sorry if this is a dumb question. Demographics wise, I'm just wondering how this adds up...well you said you don't use filters..is that how you get 300+?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore the mean comments here. I'm a 39F, single mom, who could stand to lose a few pounds and I get dozens of matches a day.

I didn't look through the thread to see if you posted what's on your profile, but my advice:

1. Remove filters NOT because you need to lower your standards, but because most people don't bother filling out their profile all the way. So you'll miss out on people who don't have things filled out 100%.

2. Slightly sexy photos. You don't want to be overtly sexy (turn off for many serious men), but you do want to look beautiful/pretty/etc. Think more girly, sundresses, curled hair. Play up your best feature. Learn how to pose, hire a photographer if needed. My first picture on my profile is me in leggings and a T-shirt, but I have my hair/makeup done VERY well and I'm holding a pen in my mouth so slightly suggestive.

3. Don't lead with a bunch of requirements in your profile, like "I want a man who wants kids blah blah blah". Nobody wants to feel like a broodmare/stallion. The kids conversation comes up later on, after a few dates.

Instead put in things for men to comment on, that make you stand out. The "two truths and a lie" prompt is a good one, along with any unique hobbies, things you collect, etc. I like to give things for men to guess so they have a reason to match/write, so I'll say something like "I collect memorabilia from a popular 90s sitcom" and men write me to guess which one.

4. Pay for Premium and only go through men who have already swiped right on you. I get like 300+ men who swipe right on me a day, there's plenty to go thru and your chances of finding someone goes WAY up.

Good luck!

How is 300+ a day possible? Are some of these swipes repeats? Are some of these men based in different locations than you?

*I've never used a dating app so sorry if this is a dumb question. Demographics wise, I'm just wondering how this adds up...well you said you don't use filters..is that how you get 300+?

The only settings I have are ages 25-45, within 60 miles, and absolutely no smoking/cannabis use/heavy drinking.

I also don’t go through and swipe. I just check out who has already swiped right on me. Way more efficient and worth the $30 a month.

Yes, 95% of them aren’t men I’m interested in. But I still get 10-20 a day who are men I’d actually be interested in going on a date with.

From there, I don’t talk to anyone who doesn’t reach out to me first. And I unmatch anyone who starts with lame things like “hey” or if the conversation fizzles out quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore the mean comments here. I'm a 39F, single mom, who could stand to lose a few pounds and I get dozens of matches a day.

I didn't look through the thread to see if you posted what's on your profile, but my advice:

1. Remove filters NOT because you need to lower your standards, but because most people don't bother filling out their profile all the way. So you'll miss out on people who don't have things filled out 100%.

2. Slightly sexy photos. You don't want to be overtly sexy (turn off for many serious men), but you do want to look beautiful/pretty/etc. Think more girly, sundresses, curled hair. Play up your best feature. Learn how to pose, hire a photographer if needed. My first picture on my profile is me in leggings and a T-shirt, but I have my hair/makeup done VERY well and I'm holding a pen in my mouth so slightly suggestive.

3. Don't lead with a bunch of requirements in your profile, like "I want a man who wants kids blah blah blah". Nobody wants to feel like a broodmare/stallion. The kids conversation comes up later on, after a few dates.

Instead put in things for men to comment on, that make you stand out. The "two truths and a lie" prompt is a good one, along with any unique hobbies, things you collect, etc. I like to give things for men to guess so they have a reason to match/write, so I'll say something like "I collect memorabilia from a popular 90s sitcom" and men write me to guess which one.

4. Pay for Premium and only go through men who have already swiped right on you. I get like 300+ men who swipe right on me a day, there's plenty to go thru and your chances of finding someone goes WAY up.

Good luck!

How is 300+ a day possible? Are some of these swipes repeats? Are some of these men based in different locations than you?

*I've never used a dating app so sorry if this is a dumb question. Demographics wise, I'm just wondering how this adds up...well you said you don't use filters..is that how you get 300+?

The only settings I have are ages 25-45, within 60 miles, and absolutely no smoking/cannabis use/heavy drinking.

I also don’t go through and swipe. I just check out who has already swiped right on me. Way more efficient and worth the $30 a month.

Yes, 95% of them aren’t men I’m interested in. But I still get 10-20 a day who are men I’d actually be interested in going on a date with.

From there, I don’t talk to anyone who doesn’t reach out to me first. And I unmatch anyone who starts with lame things like “hey” or if the conversation fizzles out quickly.

How many dates have you been on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore the mean comments here. I'm a 39F, single mom, who could stand to lose a few pounds and I get dozens of matches a day.

I didn't look through the thread to see if you posted what's on your profile, but my advice:

1. Remove filters NOT because you need to lower your standards, but because most people don't bother filling out their profile all the way. So you'll miss out on people who don't have things filled out 100%.

2. Slightly sexy photos. You don't want to be overtly sexy (turn off for many serious men), but you do want to look beautiful/pretty/etc. Think more girly, sundresses, curled hair. Play up your best feature. Learn how to pose, hire a photographer if needed. My first picture on my profile is me in leggings and a T-shirt, but I have my hair/makeup done VERY well and I'm holding a pen in my mouth so slightly suggestive.

3. Don't lead with a bunch of requirements in your profile, like "I want a man who wants kids blah blah blah". Nobody wants to feel like a broodmare/stallion. The kids conversation comes up later on, after a few dates.

Instead put in things for men to comment on, that make you stand out. The "two truths and a lie" prompt is a good one, along with any unique hobbies, things you collect, etc. I like to give things for men to guess so they have a reason to match/write, so I'll say something like "I collect memorabilia from a popular 90s sitcom" and men write me to guess which one.

4. Pay for Premium and only go through men who have already swiped right on you. I get like 300+ men who swipe right on me a day, there's plenty to go thru and your chances of finding someone goes WAY up.

Good luck!

How is 300+ a day possible? Are some of these swipes repeats? Are some of these men based in different locations than you?

*I've never used a dating app so sorry if this is a dumb question. Demographics wise, I'm just wondering how this adds up...well you said you don't use filters..is that how you get 300+?

The only settings I have are ages 25-45, within 60 miles, and absolutely no smoking/cannabis use/heavy drinking.

I also don’t go through and swipe. I just check out who has already swiped right on me. Way more efficient and worth the $30 a month.

Yes, 95% of them aren’t men I’m interested in. But I still get 10-20 a day who are men I’d actually be interested in going on a date with.

From there, I don’t talk to anyone who doesn’t reach out to me first. And I unmatch anyone who starts with lame things like “hey” or if the conversation fizzles out quickly.

How many dates have you been on?

2-3 a week usually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore the mean comments here. I'm a 39F, single mom, who could stand to lose a few pounds and I get dozens of matches a day.

I didn't look through the thread to see if you posted what's on your profile, but my advice:

1. Remove filters NOT because you need to lower your standards, but because most people don't bother filling out their profile all the way. So you'll miss out on people who don't have things filled out 100%.

2. Slightly sexy photos. You don't want to be overtly sexy (turn off for many serious men), but you do want to look beautiful/pretty/etc. Think more girly, sundresses, curled hair. Play up your best feature. Learn how to pose, hire a photographer if needed. My first picture on my profile is me in leggings and a T-shirt, but I have my hair/makeup done VERY well and I'm holding a pen in my mouth so slightly suggestive.

3. Don't lead with a bunch of requirements in your profile, like "I want a man who wants kids blah blah blah". Nobody wants to feel like a broodmare/stallion. The kids conversation comes up later on, after a few dates.

Instead put in things for men to comment on, that make you stand out. The "two truths and a lie" prompt is a good one, along with any unique hobbies, things you collect, etc. I like to give things for men to guess so they have a reason to match/write, so I'll say something like "I collect memorabilia from a popular 90s sitcom" and men write me to guess which one.

4. Pay for Premium and only go through men who have already swiped right on you. I get like 300+ men who swipe right on me a day, there's plenty to go thru and your chances of finding someone goes WAY up.

Good luck!

How is 300+ a day possible? Are some of these swipes repeats? Are some of these men based in different locations than you?

*I've never used a dating app so sorry if this is a dumb question. Demographics wise, I'm just wondering how this adds up...well you said you don't use filters..is that how you get 300+?

The only settings I have are ages 25-45, within 60 miles, and absolutely no smoking/cannabis use/heavy drinking.

I also don’t go through and swipe. I just check out who has already swiped right on me. Way more efficient and worth the $30 a month.

Yes, 95% of them aren’t men I’m interested in. But I still get 10-20 a day who are men I’d actually be interested in going on a date with.

From there, I don’t talk to anyone who doesn’t reach out to me first. And I unmatch anyone who starts with lame things like “hey” or if the conversation fizzles out quickly.

How many dates have you been on?

2-3 a week usually.

Is it in dmv or a larger urban center and what size of population ? Which site ?

In my experience 47 yo F the 2-3 dates a week would last for a month or so, then all that crazy swiping subsides. If I don’t choose anyone from that batch, the site database would dry up. And I would need to preview the new joining men profiles to give likes myself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore the mean comments here. I'm a 39F, single mom, who could stand to lose a few pounds and I get dozens of matches a day.

I didn't look through the thread to see if you posted what's on your profile, but my advice:

1. Remove filters NOT because you need to lower your standards, but because most people don't bother filling out their profile all the way. So you'll miss out on people who don't have things filled out 100%.

2. Slightly sexy photos. You don't want to be overtly sexy (turn off for many serious men), but you do want to look beautiful/pretty/etc. Think more girly, sundresses, curled hair. Play up your best feature. Learn how to pose, hire a photographer if needed. My first picture on my profile is me in leggings and a T-shirt, but I have my hair/makeup done VERY well and I'm holding a pen in my mouth so slightly suggestive.

3. Don't lead with a bunch of requirements in your profile, like "I want a man who wants kids blah blah blah". Nobody wants to feel like a broodmare/stallion. The kids conversation comes up later on, after a few dates.

Instead put in things for men to comment on, that make you stand out. The "two truths and a lie" prompt is a good one, along with any unique hobbies, things you collect, etc. I like to give things for men to guess so they have a reason to match/write, so I'll say something like "I collect memorabilia from a popular 90s sitcom" and men write me to guess which one.

4. Pay for Premium and only go through men who have already swiped right on you. I get like 300+ men who swipe right on me a day, there's plenty to go thru and your chances of finding someone goes WAY up.

Good luck!

How is 300+ a day possible? Are some of these swipes repeats? Are some of these men based in different locations than you?

*I've never used a dating app so sorry if this is a dumb question. Demographics wise, I'm just wondering how this adds up...well you said you don't use filters..is that how you get 300+?

The only settings I have are ages 25-45, within 60 miles, and absolutely no smoking/cannabis use/heavy drinking.

I also don’t go through and swipe. I just check out who has already swiped right on me. Way more efficient and worth the $30 a month.

Yes, 95% of them aren’t men I’m interested in. But I still get 10-20 a day who are men I’d actually be interested in going on a date with.

From there, I don’t talk to anyone who doesn’t reach out to me first. And I unmatch anyone who starts with lame things like “hey” or if the conversation fizzles out quickly.

How many dates have you been on?

2-3 a week usually.

Is it in dmv or a larger urban center and what size of population ? Which site ?

In my experience 47 yo F the 2-3 dates a week would last for a month or so, then all that crazy swiping subsides. If I don’t choose anyone from that batch, the site database would dry up. And I would need to preview the new joining men profiles to give likes myself

Tinder. Not the DMV, smaller urban area. Tinder.

It’s really worth it to pay for the premium features - I have Platinum so I’m one of the first profiles featured. There’s a constant influx of new people signing up so I haven’t run out of matches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore the mean comments here. I'm a 39F, single mom, who could stand to lose a few pounds and I get dozens of matches a day.

I didn't look through the thread to see if you posted what's on your profile, but my advice:

1. Remove filters NOT because you need to lower your standards, but because most people don't bother filling out their profile all the way. So you'll miss out on people who don't have things filled out 100%.

2. Slightly sexy photos. You don't want to be overtly sexy (turn off for many serious men), but you do want to look beautiful/pretty/etc. Think more girly, sundresses, curled hair. Play up your best feature. Learn how to pose, hire a photographer if needed. My first picture on my profile is me in leggings and a T-shirt, but I have my hair/makeup done VERY well and I'm holding a pen in my mouth so slightly suggestive.

3. Don't lead with a bunch of requirements in your profile, like "I want a man who wants kids blah blah blah". Nobody wants to feel like a broodmare/stallion. The kids conversation comes up later on, after a few dates.

Instead put in things for men to comment on, that make you stand out. The "two truths and a lie" prompt is a good one, along with any unique hobbies, things you collect, etc. I like to give things for men to guess so they have a reason to match/write, so I'll say something like "I collect memorabilia from a popular 90s sitcom" and men write me to guess which one.

4. Pay for Premium and only go through men who have already swiped right on you. I get like 300+ men who swipe right on me a day, there's plenty to go thru and your chances of finding someone goes WAY up.

Good luck!

How is 300+ a day possible? Are some of these swipes repeats? Are some of these men based in different locations than you?

*I've never used a dating app so sorry if this is a dumb question. Demographics wise, I'm just wondering how this adds up...well you said you don't use filters..is that how you get 300+?

The only settings I have are ages 25-45, within 60 miles, and absolutely no smoking/cannabis use/heavy drinking.

I also don’t go through and swipe. I just check out who has already swiped right on me. Way more efficient and worth the $30 a month.

Yes, 95% of them aren’t men I’m interested in. But I still get 10-20 a day who are men I’d actually be interested in going on a date with.

From there, I don’t talk to anyone who doesn’t reach out to me first. And I unmatch anyone who starts with lame things like “hey” or if the conversation fizzles out quickly.

How many dates have you been on?

2-3 a week usually.

Is it in dmv or a larger urban center and what size of population ? Which site ?

In my experience 47 yo F the 2-3 dates a week would last for a month or so, then all that crazy swiping subsides. If I don’t choose anyone from that batch, the site database would dry up. And I would need to preview the new joining men profiles to give likes myself

Tinder. Not the DMV, smaller urban area. Tinder.

It’s really worth it to pay for the premium features - I have Platinum so I’m one of the first profiles featured. There’s a constant influx of new people signing up so I haven’t run out of matches.

Oops, my second sentence got cut off. Meant to say Tinder is the best app, because pretty much everybody who is on Bumble/Hinge/etc is also on Tinder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you set your filters

What do your photos look like

What does your profile say

My filters are:

Must have undergrad and/or graduate degree
Height: 5’9 - 6’4
Open to children
Distance: 30 miles

I have recent photos from my trip in Europe; full body shots of me sight seeing; a picture of me with my niece; picture of me in a dress on the beach

I'd remove that picture of you with the niece..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore the mean comments here. I'm a 39F, single mom, who could stand to lose a few pounds and I get dozens of matches a day.

I didn't look through the thread to see if you posted what's on your profile, but my advice:

1. Remove filters NOT because you need to lower your standards, but because most people don't bother filling out their profile all the way. So you'll miss out on people who don't have things filled out 100%.

2. Slightly sexy photos. You don't want to be overtly sexy (turn off for many serious men), but you do want to look beautiful/pretty/etc. Think more girly, sundresses, curled hair. Play up your best feature. Learn how to pose, hire a photographer if needed. My first picture on my profile is me in leggings and a T-shirt, but I have my hair/makeup done VERY well and I'm holding a pen in my mouth so slightly suggestive.

3. Don't lead with a bunch of requirements in your profile, like "I want a man who wants kids blah blah blah". Nobody wants to feel like a broodmare/stallion. The kids conversation comes up later on, after a few dates.

Instead put in things for men to comment on, that make you stand out. The "two truths and a lie" prompt is a good one, along with any unique hobbies, things you collect, etc. I like to give things for men to guess so they have a reason to match/write, so I'll say something like "I collect memorabilia from a popular 90s sitcom" and men write me to guess which one.

4. Pay for Premium and only go through men who have already swiped right on you. I get like 300+ men who swipe right on me a day, there's plenty to go thru and your chances of finding someone goes WAY up.

Good luck!

How is 300+ a day possible? Are some of these swipes repeats? Are some of these men based in different locations than you?

*I've never used a dating app so sorry if this is a dumb question. Demographics wise, I'm just wondering how this adds up...well you said you don't use filters..is that how you get 300+?

The only settings I have are ages 25-45, within 60 miles, and absolutely no smoking/cannabis use/heavy drinking.

I also don’t go through and swipe. I just check out who has already swiped right on me. Way more efficient and worth the $30 a month.

Yes, 95% of them aren’t men I’m interested in. But I still get 10-20 a day who are men I’d actually be interested in going on a date with.

From there, I don’t talk to anyone who doesn’t reach out to me first. And I unmatch anyone who starts with lame things like “hey” or if the conversation fizzles out quickly.

How many dates have you been on?

2-3 a week usually.

Is it in dmv or a larger urban center and what size of population ? Which site ?

In my experience 47 yo F the 2-3 dates a week would last for a month or so, then all that crazy swiping subsides. If I don’t choose anyone from that batch, the site database would dry up. And I would need to preview the new joining men profiles to give likes myself

Tinder. Not the DMV, smaller urban area. Tinder.

It’s really worth it to pay for the premium features - I have Platinum so I’m one of the first profiles featured. There’s a constant influx of new people signing up so I haven’t run out of matches.

Oops, my second sentence got cut off. Meant to say Tinder is the best app, because pretty much everybody who is on Bumble/Hinge/etc is also on Tinder.

Are you looking for marriage /LTR? I was told by several men on match and hinge who were looking for serious that they stopped using Tinder or never used it. I got under the impression that the men considered it was low class if a woman was on Tinder. A sign of multiple partners etc. Some men from hinge specifically asked if I was using Tinder and I had to reassure I wasn’t

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore the mean comments here. I'm a 39F, single mom, who could stand to lose a few pounds and I get dozens of matches a day.

I didn't look through the thread to see if you posted what's on your profile, but my advice:

1. Remove filters NOT because you need to lower your standards, but because most people don't bother filling out their profile all the way. So you'll miss out on people who don't have things filled out 100%.

2. Slightly sexy photos. You don't want to be overtly sexy (turn off for many serious men), but you do want to look beautiful/pretty/etc. Think more girly, sundresses, curled hair. Play up your best feature. Learn how to pose, hire a photographer if needed. My first picture on my profile is me in leggings and a T-shirt, but I have my hair/makeup done VERY well and I'm holding a pen in my mouth so slightly suggestive.

3. Don't lead with a bunch of requirements in your profile, like "I want a man who wants kids blah blah blah". Nobody wants to feel like a broodmare/stallion. The kids conversation comes up later on, after a few dates.

Instead put in things for men to comment on, that make you stand out. The "two truths and a lie" prompt is a good one, along with any unique hobbies, things you collect, etc. I like to give things for men to guess so they have a reason to match/write, so I'll say something like "I collect memorabilia from a popular 90s sitcom" and men write me to guess which one.

4. Pay for Premium and only go through men who have already swiped right on you. I get like 300+ men who swipe right on me a day, there's plenty to go thru and your chances of finding someone goes WAY up.

Good luck!

How is 300+ a day possible? Are some of these swipes repeats? Are some of these men based in different locations than you?

*I've never used a dating app so sorry if this is a dumb question. Demographics wise, I'm just wondering how this adds up...well you said you don't use filters..is that how you get 300+?

The only settings I have are ages 25-45, within 60 miles, and absolutely no smoking/cannabis use/heavy drinking.

I also don’t go through and swipe. I just check out who has already swiped right on me. Way more efficient and worth the $30 a month.

Yes, 95% of them aren’t men I’m interested in. But I still get 10-20 a day who are men I’d actually be interested in going on a date with.

From there, I don’t talk to anyone who doesn’t reach out to me first. And I unmatch anyone who starts with lame things like “hey” or if the conversation fizzles out quickly.

How many dates have you been on?

2-3 a week usually.

Is it in dmv or a larger urban center and what size of population ? Which site ?

In my experience 47 yo F the 2-3 dates a week would last for a month or so, then all that crazy swiping subsides. If I don’t choose anyone from that batch, the site database would dry up. And I would need to preview the new joining men profiles to give likes myself

Tinder. Not the DMV, smaller urban area. Tinder.

It’s really worth it to pay for the premium features - I have Platinum so I’m one of the first profiles featured. There’s a constant influx of new people signing up so I haven’t run out of matches.

Oops, my second sentence got cut off. Meant to say Tinder is the best app, because pretty much everybody who is on Bumble/Hinge/etc is also on Tinder.

Are you looking for marriage /LTR? I was told by several men on match and hinge who were looking for serious that they stopped using Tinder or never used it. I got under the impression that the men considered it was low class if a woman was on Tinder. A sign of multiple partners etc. Some men from hinge specifically asked if I was using Tinder and I had to reassure I wasn’t

Yikes, if a man I just met was trying to control which apps I was on, that’s a massive red flag and he’d be immediately disqualified.

Most people understand that Tinder is the standard dating app. If a guy was paranoid about a woman using it for hookups, that says way more about his character and how he uses apps. Not a high quality man.

I also don’t tolerate men who obsessed over things like body count, who a woman is sleeping with, etc. We’re all adults. Presumably we all enjoy sex. We’re past the time when we all had to pretend to be chaste. I assume most people have hookups, a FWB, etc. If I date someone I want to be exclusive with, we have the conversation about being monogamous and exclusive, like adults.

But zero time or patience for men who are filtering women for perceived virginity, that’s a very insecure, low quality man who needs therapy, not dates.

[Anonymous]

Tinder is gross and I wouldn’t touch anyone who was on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore the mean comments here. I'm a 39F, single mom, who could stand to lose a few pounds and I get dozens of matches a day.

I didn't look through the thread to see if you posted what's on your profile, but my advice:

1. Remove filters NOT because you need to lower your standards, but because most people don't bother filling out their profile all the way. So you'll miss out on people who don't have things filled out 100%.

2. Slightly sexy photos. You don't want to be overtly sexy (turn off for many serious men), but you do want to look beautiful/pretty/etc. Think more girly, sundresses, curled hair. Play up your best feature. Learn how to pose, hire a photographer if needed. My first picture on my profile is me in leggings and a T-shirt, but I have my hair/makeup done VERY well and I'm holding a pen in my mouth so slightly suggestive.

3. Don't lead with a bunch of requirements in your profile, like "I want a man who wants kids blah blah blah". Nobody wants to feel like a broodmare/stallion. The kids conversation comes up later on, after a few dates.

Instead put in things for men to comment on, that make you stand out. The "two truths and a lie" prompt is a good one, along with any unique hobbies, things you collect, etc. I like to give things for men to guess so they have a reason to match/write, so I'll say something like "I collect memorabilia from a popular 90s sitcom" and men write me to guess which one.

4. Pay for Premium and only go through men who have already swiped right on you. I get like 300+ men who swipe right on me a day, there's plenty to go thru and your chances of finding someone goes WAY up.

Good luck!

How is 300+ a day possible? Are some of these swipes repeats? Are some of these men based in different locations than you?

*I've never used a dating app so sorry if this is a dumb question. Demographics wise, I'm just wondering how this adds up...well you said you don't use filters..is that how you get 300+?

The only settings I have are ages 25-45, within 60 miles, and absolutely no smoking/cannabis use/heavy drinking.

I also don’t go through and swipe. I just check out who has already swiped right on me. Way more efficient and worth the $30 a month.

Yes, 95% of them aren’t men I’m interested in. But I still get 10-20 a day who are men I’d actually be interested in going on a date with.

From there, I don’t talk to anyone who doesn’t reach out to me first. And I unmatch anyone who starts with lame things like “hey” or if the conversation fizzles out quickly.

How many dates have you been on?

2-3 a week usually.

Is it in dmv or a larger urban center and what size of population ? Which site ?

In my experience 47 yo F the 2-3 dates a week would last for a month or so, then all that crazy swiping subsides. If I don’t choose anyone from that batch, the site database would dry up. And I would need to preview the new joining men profiles to give likes myself

Tinder. Not the DMV, smaller urban area. Tinder.

It’s really worth it to pay for the premium features - I have Platinum so I’m one of the first profiles featured. There’s a constant influx of new people signing up so I haven’t run out of matches.

Oops, my second sentence got cut off. Meant to say Tinder is the best app, because pretty much everybody who is on Bumble/Hinge/etc is also on Tinder.

Are you looking for marriage /LTR? I was told by several men on match and hinge who were looking for serious that they stopped using Tinder or never used it. I got under the impression that the men considered it was low class if a woman was on Tinder. A sign of multiple partners etc. Some men from hinge specifically asked if I was using Tinder and I had to reassure I wasn’t

Yikes, if a man I just met was trying to control which apps I was on, that’s a massive red flag and he’d be immediately disqualified.

Most people understand that Tinder is the standard dating app. If a guy was paranoid about a woman using it for hookups, that says way more about his character and how he uses apps. Not a high quality man.

I also don’t tolerate men who obsessed over things like body count, who a woman is sleeping with, etc. We’re all adults. Presumably we all enjoy sex. We’re past the time when we all had to pretend to be chaste. I assume most people have hookups, a FWB, etc. If I date someone I want to be exclusive with, we have the conversation about being monogamous and exclusive, like adults.

But zero time or patience for men who are filtering women for perceived virginity, that’s a very insecure, low quality man who needs therapy, not dates.

You are presenting things in extreme light. It’s not wrong for a man who looks to remarry to ask if the woman is sleeping with others. Or if she’s shopping around for FWB and hookups while he’s dating her taking to high end places.

I’m a woman and I would want to know if a man has other partners before sleeping, at a minimum for health reasons. And because they just could be at a different stage of post divorce life than me, more interested in casual short term encounters.

Overall higher number of prior partners (for both men and women ) may indeed indicate attachment and trauma issues.
Lack of your filters on Tinder (including 25 yo men for example) is telling you are not looking for marriage.
So your recommendation to OP re her dating strategy is not very accurate - she’s looking for a life partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:118 pounds at 5'0 is a normal BMI for a woman.

It’s not thin though. For reference I am 5’8” and 124. BMI 18. That is slim. She is a full 8 inches shorter and only 6 pounds lighter. She may still be plenty attractive but slim she is not.

You are clinically underweight. Please don’t bring this ana shit into DCUM.

+1.

The pretty ones always get attacked.

Thin doesn't equal pretty. That's just rank stupidity.

Exactly. No man will turn a woman who is 118 lbs down and the anorexic moron just needs to shut it.

I think it's a man cosplaying as a woman. They forget (aka don't know) how much boobs weigh. They are idolizing childrens' bodies, not womens.

Hey I’m that prior BMI 18 poster. I’m not anorexic, it’s genetic, and my boobs are 32DD. Not everyone you dislike has an eating disorder or is somehow “not a woman.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore the mean comments here. I'm a 39F, single mom, who could stand to lose a few pounds and I get dozens of matches a day.

I didn't look through the thread to see if you posted what's on your profile, but my advice:

1. Remove filters NOT because you need to lower your standards, but because most people don't bother filling out their profile all the way. So you'll miss out on people who don't have things filled out 100%.

2. Slightly sexy photos. You don't want to be overtly sexy (turn off for many serious men), but you do want to look beautiful/pretty/etc. Think more girly, sundresses, curled hair. Play up your best feature. Learn how to pose, hire a photographer if needed. My first picture on my profile is me in leggings and a T-shirt, but I have my hair/makeup done VERY well and I'm holding a pen in my mouth so slightly suggestive.

3. Don't lead with a bunch of requirements in your profile, like "I want a man who wants kids blah blah blah". Nobody wants to feel like a broodmare/stallion. The kids conversation comes up later on, after a few dates.

Instead put in things for men to comment on, that make you stand out. The "two truths and a lie" prompt is a good one, along with any unique hobbies, things you collect, etc. I like to give things for men to guess so they have a reason to match/write, so I'll say something like "I collect memorabilia from a popular 90s sitcom" and men write me to guess which one.

4. Pay for Premium and only go through men who have already swiped right on you. I get like 300+ men who swipe right on me a day, there's plenty to go thru and your chances of finding someone goes WAY up.

Good luck!

How is 300+ a day possible? Are some of these swipes repeats? Are some of these men based in different locations than you?

*I've never used a dating app so sorry if this is a dumb question. Demographics wise, I'm just wondering how this adds up...well you said you don't use filters..is that how you get 300+?

The only settings I have are ages 25-45, within 60 miles, and absolutely no smoking/cannabis use/heavy drinking.

I also don’t go through and swipe. I just check out who has already swiped right on me. Way more efficient and worth the $30 a month.

Yes, 95% of them aren’t men I’m interested in. But I still get 10-20 a day who are men I’d actually be interested in going on a date with.

From there, I don’t talk to anyone who doesn’t reach out to me first. And I unmatch anyone who starts with lame things like “hey” or if the conversation fizzles out quickly.

How many dates have you been on?

2-3 a week usually.

Is it in dmv or a larger urban center and what size of population ? Which site ?

In my experience 47 yo F the 2-3 dates a week would last for a month or so, then all that crazy swiping subsides. If I don’t choose anyone from that batch, the site database would dry up. And I would need to preview the new joining men profiles to give likes myself

Tinder. Not the DMV, smaller urban area. Tinder.

It’s really worth it to pay for the premium features - I have Platinum so I’m one of the first profiles featured. There’s a constant influx of new people signing up so I haven’t run out of matches.

Oops, my second sentence got cut off. Meant to say Tinder is the best app, because pretty much everybody who is on Bumble/Hinge/etc is also on Tinder.

Are you looking for marriage /LTR? I was told by several men on match and hinge who were looking for serious that they stopped using Tinder or never used it. I got under the impression that the men considered it was low class if a woman was on Tinder. A sign of multiple partners etc. Some men from hinge specifically asked if I was using Tinder and I had to reassure I wasn’t

Yikes, if a man I just met was trying to control which apps I was on, that’s a massive red flag and he’d be immediately disqualified.

Most people understand that Tinder is the standard dating app. If a guy was paranoid about a woman using it for hookups, that says way more about his character and how he uses apps. Not a high quality man.

I also don’t tolerate men who obsessed over things like body count, who a woman is sleeping with, etc. We’re all adults. Presumably we all enjoy sex. We’re past the time when we all had to pretend to be chaste. I assume most people have hookups, a FWB, etc. If I date someone I want to be exclusive with, we have the conversation about being monogamous and exclusive, like adults.

But zero time or patience for men who are filtering women for perceived virginity, that’s a very insecure, low quality man who needs therapy, not dates.

You are presenting things in extreme light. It’s not wrong for a man who looks to remarry to ask if the woman is sleeping with others. Or if she’s shopping around for FWB and hookups while he’s dating her taking to high end places.

I’m a woman and I would want to know if a man has other partners before sleeping, at a minimum for health reasons. And because they just could be at a different stage of post divorce life than me, more interested in casual short term encounters.

Overall higher number of prior partners (for both men and women ) may indeed indicate attachment and trauma issues.
Lack of your filters on Tinder (including 25 yo men for example) is telling you are not looking for marriage.
So your recommendation to OP re her dating strategy is not very accurate - she’s looking for a life partner.

For example, if a man told me at a date had a FWB, and was doing bar hookups on his business trips enjoying sex with different women while looking for his life partner, I would simply conclude that man is not monogamous . And won’t see them again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore the mean comments here. I'm a 39F, single mom, who could stand to lose a few pounds and I get dozens of matches a day.

I didn't look through the thread to see if you posted what's on your profile, but my advice:

1. Remove filters NOT because you need to lower your standards, but because most people don't bother filling out their profile all the way. So you'll miss out on people who don't have things filled out 100%.

2. Slightly sexy photos. You don't want to be overtly sexy (turn off for many serious men), but you do want to look beautiful/pretty/etc. Think more girly, sundresses, curled hair. Play up your best feature. Learn how to pose, hire a photographer if needed. My first picture on my profile is me in leggings and a T-shirt, but I have my hair/makeup done VERY well and I'm holding a pen in my mouth so slightly suggestive.

3. Don't lead with a bunch of requirements in your profile, like "I want a man who wants kids blah blah blah". Nobody wants to feel like a broodmare/stallion. The kids conversation comes up later on, after a few dates.

Instead put in things for men to comment on, that make you stand out. The "two truths and a lie" prompt is a good one, along with any unique hobbies, things you collect, etc. I like to give things for men to guess so they have a reason to match/write, so I'll say something like "I collect memorabilia from a popular 90s sitcom" and men write me to guess which one.

4. Pay for Premium and only go through men who have already swiped right on you. I get like 300+ men who swipe right on me a day, there's plenty to go thru and your chances of finding someone goes WAY up.

Good luck!

How is 300+ a day possible? Are some of these swipes repeats? Are some of these men based in different locations than you?

*I've never used a dating app so sorry if this is a dumb question. Demographics wise, I'm just wondering how this adds up...well you said you don't use filters..is that how you get 300+?

The only settings I have are ages 25-45, within 60 miles, and absolutely no smoking/cannabis use/heavy drinking.

I also don’t go through and swipe. I just check out who has already swiped right on me. Way more efficient and worth the $30 a month.

Yes, 95% of them aren’t men I’m interested in. But I still get 10-20 a day who are men I’d actually be interested in going on a date with.

From there, I don’t talk to anyone who doesn’t reach out to me first. And I unmatch anyone who starts with lame things like “hey” or if the conversation fizzles out quickly.

How many dates have you been on?

2-3 a week usually.

Is it in dmv or a larger urban center and what size of population ? Which site ?

In my experience 47 yo F the 2-3 dates a week would last for a month or so, then all that crazy swiping subsides. If I don’t choose anyone from that batch, the site database would dry up. And I would need to preview the new joining men profiles to give likes myself

Tinder. Not the DMV, smaller urban area. Tinder.

It’s really worth it to pay for the premium features - I have Platinum so I’m one of the first profiles featured. There’s a constant influx of new people signing up so I haven’t run out of matches.

Oops, my second sentence got cut off. Meant to say Tinder is the best app, because pretty much everybody who is on Bumble/Hinge/etc is also on Tinder.

Are you looking for marriage /LTR? I was told by several men on match and hinge who were looking for serious that they stopped using Tinder or never used it. I got under the impression that the men considered it was low class if a woman was on Tinder. A sign of multiple partners etc. Some men from hinge specifically asked if I was using Tinder and I had to reassure I wasn’t

Youre better off rejecting those men. They sound insecure and controlling, and not someone you actually want to date.