38F - OLD apps: not getting any matches

[Anonymous]

I have been on the apps on and off since I separated from my STBXH. I am looking to gently dip a toe in dating and…it’s not going well!

My stats:

5’0 118lbs
Brunette with nice skin and classic style
UVA grad making 130k
I am told I am quite pretty and sweet. I have no idea why I’m receiving no matches!

It is very demoralizing.

[Anonymous]

How did you set your filters

What do your photos look like

What does your profile say

[Anonymous]

My first question would be what photos you are using. Gotta have some that demonstrate you are not fat. At least one photo that shows your entire body. All head shots is a red flag. Some photos that show you doing a fun activity would be helpful.

Is your profile really low-effort, doesn't give men anything to use to start the conversation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did you set your filters

What do your photos look like

What does your profile say

My filters are:

Must have undergrad and/or graduate degree
Height: 5’9 - 6’4
Open to children
Distance: 30 miles

I have recent photos from my trip in Europe; full body shots of me sight seeing; a picture of me with my niece; picture of me in a dress on the beach

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you set your filters

What do your photos look like

What does your profile say

My filters are:

Must have undergrad and/or graduate degree
Height: 5’9 - 6’4
Open to children
Distance: 30 miles

I have recent photos from my trip in Europe; full body shots of me sight seeing; a picture of me with my niece; picture of me in a dress on the beach

Remove the photo of you with your niece, or remove niece from the photo. Men think you are a single mom and/or have bad judgment to put a minor's photo on line on a dating site.

[Anonymous]

All the apps, or just one? Sometimes you can be randomly shadow banned for whatever reason and won’t show up in anyone’s queue. This happened to an attractive friend in her 20’s on Tinder when she created a new account. Skinny conventionally attractive and no matches after a day of swiping

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you set your filters

What do your photos look like

What does your profile say

My filters are:

Must have undergrad and/or graduate degree
Height: 5’9 - 6’4
Open to children
Distance: 30 miles

I have recent photos from my trip in Europe; full body shots of me sight seeing; a picture of me with my niece; picture of me in a dress on the beach

I’m sorry, but you need to be less picky. Most women would date a guy 5’9”+ with a grad degree who’s open to kids. You are competing with *everyone*. That includes all the gorgeous women in their twenties who haven’t been married yet. Many of those guys you are targeting set their limits to 28-30. I know this because I did OLD from 25-32. I saw a slight drop-off at 29, and a big drop-off at 30. I assume there’s another drop-off at 35. Honestly, if you’re 5’0”, I’d be MUCH more flexible on height.

[Anonymous]

You sound high maintenance with that profile. You are short and want a tall man? You want more children? Slow down, you are not even divorced yet.

Guys might see this as a big red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you set your filters

What do your photos look like

What does your profile say

My filters are:

Must have undergrad and/or graduate degree
Height: 5’9 - 6’4
Open to children
Distance: 30 miles

I have recent photos from my trip in Europe; full body shots of me sight seeing; a picture of me with my niece; picture of me in a dress on the beach

Remove the photo of you with your niece, or remove niece from the photo. Men think you are a single mom and/or have bad judgment to put a minor's photo on line on a dating site.

Thanks! Will do!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you set your filters

What do your photos look like

What does your profile say

My filters are:

Must have undergrad and/or graduate degree
Height: 5’9 - 6’4
Open to children
Distance: 30 miles

I have recent photos from my trip in Europe; full body shots of me sight seeing; a picture of me with my niece; picture of me in a dress on the beach

I’m sorry, but you need to be less picky. Most women would date a guy 5’9”+ with a grad degree who’s open to kids. You are competing with *everyone*. That includes all the gorgeous women in their twenties who haven’t been married yet. Many of those guys you are targeting set their limits to 28-30. I know this because I did OLD from 25-32. I saw a slight drop-off at 29, and a big drop-off at 30. I assume there’s another drop-off at 35. Honestly, if you’re 5’0”, I’d be MUCH more flexible on height.

Op here. I’m a catch and I’m not fat and I have a lot to offer. The worst thing you can say about me is that I selected poorly for my first husband and he serially cheated on me. So now I’m back on the apps. 😭

I am not competing with 25 year olds. They can date from 23-32 year old men.

I’m looking at men that are 37-50 years old. The men in my age group who would rather select a 32 year old well…I don’t want them anyway.

[Anonymous]

You're 5'0 and you want a man at least 5'9? Now you know how short men feel when they never get picked.

About 57% of the men in the US are at least 5'9", but when you add in your other reuqirements (education), that % will go down a lot. Only about 36% of men in their 30s' in the US have a college degree.. so those 2 requirements alone reduces you to about 20% of the male dating pool.

Oh and by comparison, only 6% of women in the US are 5'0" or shorter.

So.. you're in the bottom 6% height-wise, and searching for a man who is stastically rare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound high maintenance with that profile. You are short and want a tall man? You want more children? Slow down, you are not even divorced yet.

Guys might see this as a big red flag.

I don’t have any children as my exhusband never wanted any. I’d like to explore love with someone who is open to children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're 5'0 and you want a man at least 5'9? Now you know how short men feel when they never get picked.

About 57% of the men in the US are at least 5'9", but when you add in your other reuqirements (education), that % will go down a lot. Only about 36% of men in their 30s' in the US have a college degree.. so those 2 requirements alone reduces you to about 20% of the male dating pool.

Oh and by comparison, only 6% of women in the US are 5'0" or shorter.

So.. you're in the bottom 6% height-wise, and searching for a man who is stastically rare.

I thought men like short women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the apps, or just one? Sometimes you can be randomly shadow banned for whatever reason and won’t show up in anyone’s queue. This happened to an attractive friend in her 20’s on Tinder when she created a new account. Skinny conventionally attractive and no matches after a day of swiping

Hinge. I seem to have very few matches on Hinge!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're 5'0 and you want a man at least 5'9? Now you know how short men feel when they never get picked.

About 57% of the men in the US are at least 5'9", but when you add in your other reuqirements (education), that % will go down a lot. Only about 36% of men in their 30s' in the US have a college degree.. so those 2 requirements alone reduces you to about 20% of the male dating pool.

Oh and by comparison, only 6% of women in the US are 5'0" or shorter.

So.. you're in the bottom 6% height-wise, and searching for a man who is stastically rare.

I thought men like short women?

Hahhah.. keep telling yourself that. Any man who is marriage-minded will be thinking does he want his kid to be the short kid at school and made fun of, espcially if it's a boy. Imagine if he grows up and is a mere 5'7. That' below your requirements for example.