Any men here who walked away from their families?

[Anonymous]

Not exactly walked away but kind of close.My father moved two hours away when my parents split when I was around 3, never thought much about it, it was just the way it was. When my kids crossed over that same age I saw how much they needed and how hard it was to care for them, any nice feelings I had about my father converted straight to contempt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.

Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?

1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.

No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.

I realize it’s hard to understand but there are in fact women who will lie and cheat their way to alienating the father. is the father blameless - no. But having seen this dynamic up close, I cannot fully blame the man who concludes that continually triggering the BPD antics is not good for anyone, and takes a big step back.

Excuses, excuses. I 100% fully blame the man who "takes a big step back" from his own children, because he's an asshat.

And no blame on the mother? yeah right. as I said nobody’s a hero in this scenario but it’s not true that the mom is purely blameless.

lol Now you’ve convinced yourself that a divorced woman is somehow able to control her ex husband.

Dude, if she could get him to work the job she wanted and spend time with the kids when she wanted, there’s no way in hell she’d be divorcing him.

Instead, the divorced guy is mad because the ex wife isn’t covering for him anymore. He doesn’t like that his actions “look bad” and he thinks his ex wife is soooo mean for not being at his beck and call to produce the kids whenever it’s convenient all the while doing the emotional labor to convince the kids that their dad’s (chosen) absence is an act of love. F that

Ok … if the mom gets full custody because of the dad’s work schedule (and of course putting food on the table is a parental responsibility) but puts up obstacles to visitation …. whose fault is that? You live in a real fantasy land if you believe all men can snap their fingers and get a 9-5 job close to wherever their ex decided to move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.

Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?

1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.

No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.

I realize it’s hard to understand but there are in fact women who will lie and cheat their way to alienating the father. is the father blameless - no. But having seen this dynamic up close, I cannot fully blame the man who concludes that continually triggering the BPD antics is not good for anyone, and takes a big step back.

Maybe he shouldn't have picked such a difficult woman to have children with if NOT dealing with her is more important than having a relationship with his kids. I get the feeling you haven't seen your kids in a while and "it's all her fault" that you've "stepped back" from being a f***ing parent to your children.

End of the day, there are no excuses for dead beat dads like yourself. You can blame the women, you can blame the courts, you can blame the kids. But its you who isn't making the effort to see them. It is you who has abandoned your own flesh and blood. Because why, it's too hard? It's too difficult? It's too annoying? Disgusting.

I’m a woman, genius. And I have seen all varieties of splits - including false accusations of abuse, which are enough to deter a lot of people.

Do you think most loser dads who abandon their children fit this category? Or is that simply the fraction of most cases? You seem to be tripping over yourself, picking this bone real hard when it doesnt represent very many men.

Nobody is doing a scientific survey of “loser dads” here. We are discussing the issue and stating that in some cases of apparent “loser dad” situations, the mom actually took actions to get rid of the dad in full or in part. I have literally watched someone very close to me manipulate the legal system to accomplish this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.

Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?

1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.

No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.

Mom - refuses to work
Dad - in the military or has a job that requires unpredictable hours or late nights.

Result - full custody to mom.

You could get a different job. One that fits with your parenting needs. That's normal for women. Ever think of it?

Ever think that people have very different economic situations from you?

Nope. You make it work.

My dad was the CEO of a large tech company when my parents split. And mom did absolutely everything to alienate us from him.

He quit his job and started a new career in something far less lucrative so he could be there for his kids. Yes, he had to downsize. Yes, money was tight. And he took a crappy job so he could have time to volunteer at our school and be home when we got home.

Bottom line is if you care about your kids, you do whatever it takes. Moms do it all the time. I know moms who get up at 3am to work while their kids sleep.

If you can’t prioritize your kids, you’re not a real man. Period.

Sure, a CEO is exactly the same as an enlisted Marine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.

Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?

1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.

No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.

Mom - refuses to work
Dad - in the military or has a job that requires unpredictable hours or late nights.

Result - full custody to mom.

You could get a different job. One that fits with your parenting needs. That's normal for women. Ever think of it?

Ever think that people have very different economic situations from you?

Nope. You make it work.

My dad was the CEO of a large tech company when my parents split. And mom did absolutely everything to alienate us from him.

He quit his job and started a new career in something far less lucrative so he could be there for his kids. Yes, he had to downsize. Yes, money was tight. And he took a crappy job so he could have time to volunteer at our school and be home when we got home.

Bottom line is if you care about your kids, you do whatever it takes. Moms do it all the time. I know moms who get up at 3am to work while their kids sleep.

If you can’t prioritize your kids, you’re not a real man. Period.

Wow, that's so awesome he was so committed to being your dad. It's really sad that some people have the bar set so low for men.

And not a word for the mom in this situation, whose crazy BPD antics led to a pretty significant economic blow to the family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.

Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?

1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.

No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.

I realize it’s hard to understand but there are in fact women who will lie and cheat their way to alienating the father. is the father blameless - no. But having seen this dynamic up close, I cannot fully blame the man who concludes that continually triggering the BPD antics is not good for anyone, and takes a big step back.

Excuses, excuses. I 100% fully blame the man who "takes a big step back" from his own children, because he's an asshat.

And no blame on the mother? yeah right. as I said nobody’s a hero in this scenario but it’s not true that the mom is purely blameless.

lol Now you’ve convinced yourself that a divorced woman is somehow able to control her ex husband.

Dude, if she could get him to work the job she wanted and spend time with the kids when she wanted, there’s no way in hell she’d be divorcing him.

Instead, the divorced guy is mad because the ex wife isn’t covering for him anymore. He doesn’t like that his actions “look bad” and he thinks his ex wife is soooo mean for not being at his beck and call to produce the kids whenever it’s convenient all the while doing the emotional labor to convince the kids that their dad’s (chosen) absence is an act of love. F that

Ok … if the mom gets full custody because of the dad’s work schedule (and of course putting food on the table is a parental responsibility) but puts up obstacles to visitation …. whose fault is that? You live in a real fantasy land if you believe all men can snap their fingers and get a 9-5 job close to wherever their ex decided to move.

lol that’s not how it works. Parents can’t just move kids, and the default is 50/50 custody, no matter what your schedule is. If he works overnights, great, that means he has plenty of time to spend with the kids during the day and can still do 50/50.

If you view your parental responsibility solely as putting food on the table, then don’t be surprised when you are treated like nothing more than an ATM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.

Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?

1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.

No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.

I realize it’s hard to understand but there are in fact women who will lie and cheat their way to alienating the father. is the father blameless - no. But having seen this dynamic up close, I cannot fully blame the man who concludes that continually triggering the BPD antics is not good for anyone, and takes a big step back.

Excuses, excuses. I 100% fully blame the man who "takes a big step back" from his own children, because he's an asshat.

And no blame on the mother? yeah right. as I said nobody’s a hero in this scenario but it’s not true that the mom is purely blameless.

lol Now you’ve convinced yourself that a divorced woman is somehow able to control her ex husband.

Dude, if she could get him to work the job she wanted and spend time with the kids when she wanted, there’s no way in hell she’d be divorcing him.

Instead, the divorced guy is mad because the ex wife isn’t covering for him anymore. He doesn’t like that his actions “look bad” and he thinks his ex wife is soooo mean for not being at his beck and call to produce the kids whenever it’s convenient all the while doing the emotional labor to convince the kids that their dad’s (chosen) absence is an act of love. F that

Ok … if the mom gets full custody because of the dad’s work schedule (and of course putting food on the table is a parental responsibility) but puts up obstacles to visitation …. whose fault is that? You live in a real fantasy land if you believe all men can snap their fingers and get a 9-5 job close to wherever their ex decided to move.

lol that’s not how it works. Parents can’t just move kids, and the default is 50/50 custody, no matter what your schedule is. If he works overnights, great, that means he has plenty of time to spend with the kids during the day and can still do 50/50.

If you view your parental responsibility solely as putting food on the table, then don’t be surprised when you are treated like nothing more than an ATM.

Ok thanks for that fact-free post. here in the real world, moms that want to effectively make the case for greater than 50% custody all the time, and then either move or get permission to move from the courts. Nobody is saying that men in this scenario are blameless - just, you have some real axe to grind if you deny women ever have a role in pushing dads away. You are not the smartest cookie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.

Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?

1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.

No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.

Mom - refuses to work
Dad - in the military or has a job that requires unpredictable hours or late nights.

Result - full custody to mom.

You could get a different job. One that fits with your parenting needs. That's normal for women. Ever think of it?

Ever think that people have very different economic situations from you?

Nope. You make it work.

My dad was the CEO of a large tech company when my parents split. And mom did absolutely everything to alienate us from him.

He quit his job and started a new career in something far less lucrative so he could be there for his kids. Yes, he had to downsize. Yes, money was tight. And he took a crappy job so he could have time to volunteer at our school and be home when we got home.

Bottom line is if you care about your kids, you do whatever it takes. Moms do it all the time. I know moms who get up at 3am to work while their kids sleep.

If you can’t prioritize your kids, you’re not a real man. Period.

Wow, that's so awesome he was so committed to being your dad. It's really sad that some people have the bar set so low for men.

And not a word for the mom in this situation, whose crazy BPD antics led to a pretty significant economic blow to the family?

I’m the PP whose mom you are referencing. That’s not the point. The point is my dad didn’t use her behavior as an excuse to bail on his kids, which is what a good parent does. The devil himself couldn’t keep me away from my kids, and if you let an ex who just talks sh!t about you behind your back keep you away from your kids, you’re a bad parent. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.

Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?

1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.

No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.

Mom - refuses to work
Dad - in the military or has a job that requires unpredictable hours or late nights.

Result - full custody to mom.

You could get a different job. One that fits with your parenting needs. That's normal for women. Ever think of it?

Ever think that people have very different economic situations from you?

Nope. You make it work.

My dad was the CEO of a large tech company when my parents split. And mom did absolutely everything to alienate us from him.

He quit his job and started a new career in something far less lucrative so he could be there for his kids. Yes, he had to downsize. Yes, money was tight. And he took a crappy job so he could have time to volunteer at our school and be home when we got home.

Bottom line is if you care about your kids, you do whatever it takes. Moms do it all the time. I know moms who get up at 3am to work while their kids sleep.

If you can’t prioritize your kids, you’re not a real man. Period.

Wow, that's so awesome he was so committed to being your dad. It's really sad that some people have the bar set so low for men.

And not a word for the mom in this situation, whose crazy BPD antics led to a pretty significant economic blow to the family?

I’m the PP whose mom you are referencing. That’s not the point. The point is my dad didn’t use her behavior as an excuse to bail on his kids, which is what a good parent does. The devil himself couldn’t keep me away from my kids, and if you let an ex who just talks sh!t about you behind your back keep you away from your kids, you’re a bad parent. Period.

Ok the point is some women do much more than “talk shit” and many men don’t have the ability to just quit their jobs. Yes I would also do what it takes to be near my kids - but the point is, what looks like a “deadbeat” may in fact be a dad that is struggling with an irrational and manipulative coparent. It happens. (And of course some men actually are deadbeats.) like imagine you are an enlisted deployed soldier and your wife decides to divorce you and move states away. Pretty tough to claim that a man is a deadbeat for not getting immediately discharged with no home or job where his now ex has located.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would imagine more people then you think dream about going out for milk and never coming back.

After years of marriage and kids causing a ruckus, sometimes you think to yourself it would be so nice to be back at that single little condo being able to go to work come home and be left alone.

NGL, I think my spouse and I would probably benefit of having a small apartment on standby so we could individually get away from our home for a night or two when things get really stressful with home, small loud kids, work deadlines, etc.

I think both of us would be much more present with a night or two away - even if just half a mile away - to quietly decompress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.

Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?

1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.

No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.

I realize it’s hard to understand but there are in fact women who will lie and cheat their way to alienating the father. is the father blameless - no. But having seen this dynamic up close, I cannot fully blame the man who concludes that continually triggering the BPD antics is not good for anyone, and takes a big step back.

Excuses, excuses. I 100% fully blame the man who "takes a big step back" from his own children, because he's an asshat.

And no blame on the mother? yeah right. as I said nobody’s a hero in this scenario but it’s not true that the mom is purely blameless.

lol Now you’ve convinced yourself that a divorced woman is somehow able to control her ex husband.

Dude, if she could get him to work the job she wanted and spend time with the kids when she wanted, there’s no way in hell she’d be divorcing him.

Instead, the divorced guy is mad because the ex wife isn’t covering for him anymore. He doesn’t like that his actions “look bad” and he thinks his ex wife is soooo mean for not being at his beck and call to produce the kids whenever it’s convenient all the while doing the emotional labor to convince the kids that their dad’s (chosen) absence is an act of love. F that

Ok … if the mom gets full custody because of the dad’s work schedule (and of course putting food on the table is a parental responsibility) but puts up obstacles to visitation …. whose fault is that? You live in a real fantasy land if you believe all men can snap their fingers and get a 9-5 job close to wherever their ex decided to move.

lol that’s not how it works. Parents can’t just move kids, and the default is 50/50 custody, no matter what your schedule is. If he works overnights, great, that means he has plenty of time to spend with the kids during the day and can still do 50/50.

If you view your parental responsibility solely as putting food on the table, then don’t be surprised when you are treated like nothing more than an ATM.

Ok thanks for that fact-free post. here in the real world, moms that want to effectively make the case for greater than 50% custody all the time, and then either move or get permission to move from the courts. Nobody is saying that men in this scenario are blameless - just, you have some real axe to grind if you deny women ever have a role in pushing dads away. You are not the smartest cookie.

I think you are lying to yourself. Parents who walk away from the kids made the choice to do so, and should accept responsibility for being a deadbeat loser. Blaming someone else just makes it look more ridiculous to the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.

Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?

1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.

No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.

Mom - refuses to work
Dad - in the military or has a job that requires unpredictable hours or late nights.

Result - full custody to mom.

You could get a different job. One that fits with your parenting needs. That's normal for women. Ever think of it?

Ever think that people have very different economic situations from you?

Nope. You make it work.

My dad was the CEO of a large tech company when my parents split. And mom did absolutely everything to alienate us from him.

He quit his job and started a new career in something far less lucrative so he could be there for his kids. Yes, he had to downsize. Yes, money was tight. And he took a crappy job so he could have time to volunteer at our school and be home when we got home.

Bottom line is if you care about your kids, you do whatever it takes. Moms do it all the time. I know moms who get up at 3am to work while their kids sleep.

If you can’t prioritize your kids, you’re not a real man. Period.

Wow, that's so awesome he was so committed to being your dad. It's really sad that some people have the bar set so low for men.

And not a word for the mom in this situation, whose crazy BPD antics led to a pretty significant economic blow to the family?

I’m the PP whose mom you are referencing. That’s not the point. The point is my dad didn’t use her behavior as an excuse to bail on his kids, which is what a good parent does. The devil himself couldn’t keep me away from my kids, and if you let an ex who just talks sh!t about you behind your back keep you away from your kids, you’re a bad parent. Period.

You know who can keep you away from your kids? A spouse/ex-spouse who files PPOs based on false allegations, who calls CPS with false allegations, who files for 100% custody of a kid they didn't have much of an interest in the last few years but are now using as leverage, etc. Those moves get shot down, but it takes time. Also, when the kid isn't old enough to have their own method of communication or transportation, then yeah, the kid is kept from their other parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would imagine more people then you think dream about going out for milk and never coming back.

After years of marriage and kids causing a ruckus, sometimes you think to yourself it would be so nice to be back at that single little condo being able to go to work come home and be left alone.

I think it used to be more common, because it was so much easier to disappear. With the internet and whatnot it seems much more difficult. But yet, men continue to find new and exciting ways to disappoint us, so I shouldnt be surprised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.

Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?

1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.

No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.

Mom - refuses to work
Dad - in the military or has a job that requires unpredictable hours or late nights.

Result - full custody to mom.

You could get a different job. One that fits with your parenting needs. That's normal for women. Ever think of it?

Ever think that people have very different economic situations from you?

Nope. You make it work.

My dad was the CEO of a large tech company when my parents split. And mom did absolutely everything to alienate us from him.

He quit his job and started a new career in something far less lucrative so he could be there for his kids. Yes, he had to downsize. Yes, money was tight. And he took a crappy job so he could have time to volunteer at our school and be home when we got home.

Bottom line is if you care about your kids, you do whatever it takes. Moms do it all the time. I know moms who get up at 3am to work while their kids sleep.

If you can’t prioritize your kids, you’re not a real man. Period.

Wow, that's so awesome he was so committed to being your dad. It's really sad that some people have the bar set so low for men.

And not a word for the mom in this situation, whose crazy BPD antics led to a pretty significant economic blow to the family?

Why are you diagnosing random people online? I don't think you are qualified for that.

Either way, this guy made it work. He WANTED to be a father to his kids. He WANTED to see his kids. He WANTED to be in their life.
Funny how all these other men in your life don't seem to do that. I said a few posts back - if he wanted to, he would. If you actually care about your kids, this is worth it. Your excuses for men who "step back" or "move on" are disgusting pieces of sh*t who abandon their children when it gets hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question about the men who do this and then launch new families with a younger woman. Do those stick or do they end up walking away from those too?

Some do.

Step father in law walked away from two wives with whom he had children and failed to pay child support. He actually went to prison for a year for this reason.

He married mother in law a few years before he was sentenced for failure to pay child support.

I don’t know why because it’s not my business.