+1 I grew up in rural Indiana. My grandparents had an outhouse until I was in HS. I spent all school breaks with them and bathed in a tub in the kitchen using a bucket of heated water. In my own home, we had a flush toilet but no water heater and took bucket baths. We had no heat/AC in the bedroom I shared with my 4 siblings. If the electricity went out, we had to pump water from the well. |
I know I am confused too because the temp seems okay but the sun hasn't been out since we arrived last week. The house is also made from concrete and the floors are cold. Everyone here is wearing coats and scarves. Temp feels very different when it's the same indoors and outdoors as we are used to climate control in the US. |
Op isn't Indian. She's not from there. Very different. Likely, she can't speak to most of his family because she doesn't speak Bengali. |
Op here. I can't emphasize this enough. They don't care about doing stuff like this. If I bring this up they will think I am demanding. Sitting around having family come to visit us is what they want us to do. It's what my husband wants to do. He doesn't want to be on the go. Dhaka is always traffic-jammed. You can easily take hours to get anywhere. It's not fun. |
It sounds like, from what OP is describing, her DH is strictly limiting how much they leave the house and isn’t going along with travel, food, shopping plans and she isn’t familiar enough with the area/doesn’t feel safe enough to do these things alone. My DH isn’t from the US and we stayed in (compared to where we live in the US) modest accommodations when visiting his family. It was a great trip because we went into town, sightseeing, out to shops and restaurants etc. If he told me it was dangerous to leave the house alone and also that he didn’t want to do anything it would have been miserable. |
My spouse isn’t Indian and my kids are born and raised in the US. OP has an excuse for everything. |
OP, where did you grow up? |
In that case I’d consider returning early and your husband can stay as long as he wants. If you work you can make up some excuse. |
Op here. My dh uses both Bengal and Bengali interchangeably. I'm not going to reply to the rest of your post because it's clear you're being mean-spirited. Probably some kind of reverse racism going on. Also, please know Bengali people views indians as being overly complicated. I think there are a lot of Indian who think Bangladesh is exactly like India and it's not. Lots of condescending know-it-alls on this forum. Every single thing you posted was critical. How is that helpful? I am no longer posting on here but thanks to the people who were helpful and respectful. |
I thought you are not in Dhaka , but Faridhpur?? |
Ha, something tells me you have never spent a month in Bangladesh. Tourists stay in hotels. Op is having a totally different experience. |
Pp, they are probably going back and forth to see family or go to western supermarkets. |
So she doesn't have access to washer and dryer and has young kids and is staying there for a month. That would be rough.
No warm running water. Rough No heater. Rough Her towel is probably not dry the next time she takes a shower because they don't have dryers available. The bath towels are also very different. They aren't fluffy like in the US. They are thin similar to using something thinner than a shirt to dry off. I don't think op is dramatic for any of the above. Pretty much all Americans would have trouble with any of these. Most could do it for a week but a month would be hard. |
Every household has maids to do laundry, cleaning and dishes. We always tip our family’s helpers generously when we visit for the extra work. Cooks can also be hired at affordable prices. An extra set of towels would solve the drying problem but unless it’s the monsoon clothes dry quickly outdoors. The local family should get space heaters if they are cold, there’s no excuse for that. The DH should be taking the lead on all these arrangements. OP’s problem is that the husband sounds like a dud. |
Who said we aunties wouldn't go back to visit? We do and become resourceful and teach our kids the same. My kids had only visited when they were little and didn't remember anything. Last year when we went in their teens it was a culture shock but they enjoyed attending events, adjusted for the most part, enjoyed the roadside sugarcane juice (take your own water), enjoyed shopping to a certain extent. We kept it short at 3 weeks. We had toilet not flushing issues and they learned to catch water in a small bucket and pour water into the bowl with force a few times. Bathing with a bucket and mug was not an issue. Most of all, they loved the food and the pampering. What they hated was the bugs and lizards and lack of cleanliness. We stopped at a super market and got handsoaps (in an Indian village). |