My wife is furious with me for not standing up for her when my brother told her off.

Anonymous
Cinderella?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
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Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:And, you OP have responsibility to protect relationship of your daughter with her blood aunt or uncle and not let money grabber greedy stepdaughter mess it up


Right because blood is automatically always more important than your relationship with your spouse...


I would definitely put my daughter before my spouse who was trying to drive a wedge between us. Spouse is easily replaced.


I'm not referring to the daughter I'm referring to his brother. Why does he owe his brother loyalty over the woman he chose to marry??

Everyone here seems to say his relationship with his brother is more important than his relationship with his wife. Your wife is now your immediate family and after marriage your siblings become extended family


Think it through, if you shut down the trips with the loving aunt and uncle you risk alienating the daughter. It's all related. OP has only been married 6 months and the wife is pulling the bait and switch. She knew about these trips, and now she's trying to change the rules to her benefit. I wouldn't jeopardize my relationship with my daughter for a duplicitous spouse.


6 months or 60 years you are still married just the same. Don't marry someone with kids if you put your relationship with your brother over the relationship with your step kids.


You know marriages can be ended with divorce, right? The daughter is forever the spouse is not.


I'm talking about the brother. You should owe your wife and children a little more than your sibling


Nah. Wives come and go, siblings are forever.


That's a very shitty viewpoint to take on a marriage and maybe that's one of the reasons the divorce rate is so high is because people continue to put their extended family (parents and siblings) above their spouse forgetting they made vows to be with their spouse till death do us part. They didn't make vows to their siblings to be with them till death do us part, they aren't sharing a bed and a literal life with their sibling, they don't make huge life decisions with their siblings, they don't have possible kids with their siblings. I say all that definitely should trump a sibling.

The fact he be is putting the relationship with his brother above his own wife and step child speaks volumes of his priorities. I can certainly see him putting his own child even before his wife but not his brother.

And it's also false that siblings are forever. People go no contact with blood family all the time. Blood doesn't guarantee a forever relationship. Blood can screw you over too. Not sure why on DCUM it's blood always before all. I think the spouse you actively choose to be in your life and share your life with kinda takes the cake on importance but yes continue to put your sibling who you don't even live with and share your life with and who probably has a family of their own they prioritize first and see where that gets you

My husband has 2 brothers. One he talks to about 3-4 x a month the other he talks to about 2-3 times a year. If he put his brother he speaks to 2-3 a year above me and our marriage when I see the guy everyday, share a life and a house, share a bed with him he would have another thing coming.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:And, you OP have responsibility to protect relationship of your daughter with her blood aunt or uncle and not let money grabber greedy stepdaughter mess it up


Right because blood is automatically always more important than your relationship with your spouse...


I would definitely put my daughter before my spouse who was trying to drive a wedge between us. Spouse is easily replaced.


I'm not referring to the daughter I'm referring to his brother. Why does he owe his brother loyalty over the woman he chose to marry??

Everyone here seems to say his relationship with his brother is more important than his relationship with his wife. Your wife is now your immediate family and after marriage your siblings become extended family


Think it through, if you shut down the trips with the loving aunt and uncle you risk alienating the daughter. It's all related. OP has only been married 6 months and the wife is pulling the bait and switch. She knew about these trips, and now she's trying to change the rules to her benefit. I wouldn't jeopardize my relationship with my daughter for a duplicitous spouse.


6 months or 60 years you are still married just the same. Don't marry someone with kids if you put your relationship with your brother over the relationship with your step kids.


You know marriages can be ended with divorce, right? The daughter is forever the spouse is not.


I'm talking about the brother. You should owe your wife and children a little more than your sibling


Nah. Wives come and go, siblings are forever.


Umm what no way! Your spouse becomes your immediate family upon marriage. That's what marriage is forming your own family and making them a top priority. Guess you are going to raise your children with your sibling and build your life with your sibling then?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
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Anonymous wrote:The OP may be a troll, but the people in this thread are so juvenile, vulgar, and classless. True gutter Jerry Springer audience members of the soul. That response was *way* out of line when speaking to any man’s wife, let alone his own brother’s wife.


She contacted him first and made a rude demand. She got back what she was dishing out. Who did she think she was to contact him and talk to him that way?

She “texted him and asked him why he never took her kids anywhere that it was not fair.” That may be whiny, but it’s not rude and it’s definitely not disrespectful. What the brother said was.

Do we teach our children to speak to others that way? Of course not, but because OP’s wife is allegedly some horrible woman who should be divorced immediately and she deserves to get put in her place? GMAFB. Vile.


I’m not the person you’re responding to, but come on. Of course it’s super rude to contact a random person (absolutely nobody to you, by blood or marriage) and demand that they spend tens of thousands of dollars on your kids taking them on vacations just because they feel entitled to it because they need to watch another kid get it. Nobody normal does that. The brother got annoyed and understandably so. Honestly she’s lucky he didn’t just tell her to F off. I’m sure he had to hold that back and feels like he did a pretty good job restraining himself!


NP but he's literally her brother in law. By marriage.

OP you sound like a weird observer in your own family. You've been with this woman for seven years and you don't think it's strange that your family doesn't care to get to know her beyond pleasantries? You don't particularly care about your stepdaughters even though you've known them since elementary school, you don't care enough about your own daughter not to join families with someone whose kids she dislikes enough to avoid your house, you don't care enough about your wife to tell you brother not to curse at her. You're just kind of drifting through, surrounded by people behaving various degrees of badly and reporting back on their behavior with little investment or awareness to how you're contributing to this dysfunction. It's bizarre, but I think this is a troll so who cares.


His family (if you mean his brother) has gotten to know her beyond pleasantries. They’re apparently at the level of her feeling entitled enough to call him directly, without her husbands knowledge or involvement, and make insane demands of his time and money. His family knows her and just doesn’t like her. Which is exactly what the brother said.


Not quite. OP's wife feels confident enough in her ability to control and manipulate OP, that she has calculated that bringing enormous pressure to bear on OP, to cause a family rift with his brother, on her behalf/her kids' behalf (the OP's stepkids), will result in some kind of a financial benefit to her (or her kids/his step kids) at some point down the road if she keeps the pressure on long enough. She does not care if that results in a permanent breach between OP and his brother, OP and his daughter, or anyone else.

Now, the financial benefit she anticipates by these tactics aren't necessarily that OP's brother in law will pay for OP's stepkids to do anything. That seems very unlikely. But, she will torment and guilt trip OP until he makes some sort of huge financial concession for the benefit of her, and/or her step kids. They have separate finances, however, she will attempt to manipulate and guilt OP into taking on financial responsibility for his step children in various ways.

She is just like the other woman who glommed her husband's $1,000 gift check from his Mom, only more so--the end result, the natural conclusion of that type of thinking and that type of behavior.


You are kind of an idiot if you think you can get married without ever taking on any financial responsibility for your spouse or their minor children. This would be as stupid as being surprised that you are expected to cook for them or make sure they get to school. That’s not real life.


Wow what cereal box did you get your law degree with a specialty in family law, off the backnof?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:And, you OP have responsibility to protect relationship of your daughter with her blood aunt or uncle and not let money grabber greedy stepdaughter mess it up


Right because blood is automatically always more important than your relationship with your spouse...


I would definitely put my daughter before my spouse who was trying to drive a wedge between us. Spouse is easily replaced.


I'm not referring to the daughter I'm referring to his brother. Why does he owe his brother loyalty over the woman he chose to marry??

Everyone here seems to say his relationship with his brother is more important than his relationship with his wife. Your wife is now your immediate family and after marriage your siblings become extended family


Think it through, if you shut down the trips with the loving aunt and uncle you risk alienating the daughter. It's all related. OP has only been married 6 months and the wife is pulling the bait and switch. She knew about these trips, and now she's trying to change the rules to her benefit. I wouldn't jeopardize my relationship with my daughter for a duplicitous spouse.


6 months or 60 years you are still married just the same. Don't marry someone with kids if you put your relationship with your brother over the relationship with your step kids.


I think you meant to say, don't marry a woman with kids if she is a conniving, greedy, entitled, stupid con artist.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:And, you OP have responsibility to protect relationship of your daughter with her blood aunt or uncle and not let money grabber greedy stepdaughter mess it up


Right because blood is automatically always more important than your relationship with your spouse...


I would definitely put my daughter before my spouse who was trying to drive a wedge between us. Spouse is easily replaced.


I'm not referring to the daughter I'm referring to his brother. Why does he owe his brother loyalty over the woman he chose to marry??

Everyone here seems to say his relationship with his brother is more important than his relationship with his wife. Your wife is now your immediate family and after marriage your siblings become extended family


Think it through, if you shut down the trips with the loving aunt and uncle you risk alienating the daughter. It's all related. OP has only been married 6 months and the wife is pulling the bait and switch. She knew about these trips, and now she's trying to change the rules to her benefit. I wouldn't jeopardize my relationship with my daughter for a duplicitous spouse.


6 months or 60 years you are still married just the same. Don't marry someone with kids if you put your relationship with your brother over the relationship with your step kids.


You know marriages can be ended with divorce, right? The daughter is forever the spouse is not.


I'm talking about the brother. You should owe your wife and children a little more than your sibling


Nah. Wives come and go, siblings are forever.


That's a very shitty viewpoint to take on a marriage and maybe that's one of the reasons the divorce rate is so high is because people continue to put their extended family (parents and siblings) above their spouse forgetting they made vows to be with their spouse till death do us part. They didn't make vows to their siblings to be with them till death do us part, they aren't sharing a bed and a literal life with their sibling, they don't make huge life decisions with their siblings, they don't have possible kids with their siblings. I say all that definitely should trump a sibling.

The fact he be is putting the relationship with his brother above his own wife and step child speaks volumes of his priorities. I can certainly see him putting his own child even before his wife but not his brother.

And it's also false that siblings are forever. People go no contact with blood family all the time. Blood doesn't guarantee a forever relationship. Blood can screw you over too. Not sure why on DCUM it's blood always before all. I think the spouse you actively choose to be in your life and share your life with kinda takes the cake on importance but yes continue to put your sibling who you don't even live with and share your life with and who probably has a family of their own they prioritize first and see where that gets you

My husband has 2 brothers. One he talks to about 3-4 x a month the other he talks to about 2-3 times a year. If he put his brother he speaks to 2-3 a year above me and our marriage when I see the guy everyday, share a life and a house, share a bed with him he would have another thing coming.


If you are as greedy, stupid, and toxic as OPs wife, you better believe your husband should side with the party who is in the right-- the brother.

What, you have no conceot of right and wrong? Were you raised by a street gang or thugs bound by a criminals code of loyalty to each other?

Do you actually think if you try to F@CK with someone the way OPs wife tried to F@CK with his brother, and nownis F@CKing with OP himself, your spouse is doing the right thing by siding with you?

Please. Only criminals think that way.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:And, you OP have responsibility to protect relationship of your daughter with her blood aunt or uncle and not let money grabber greedy stepdaughter mess it up


Right because blood is automatically always more important than your relationship with your spouse...


I would definitely put my daughter before my spouse who was trying to drive a wedge between us. Spouse is easily replaced.


I'm not referring to the daughter I'm referring to his brother. Why does he owe his brother loyalty over the woman he chose to marry??

Everyone here seems to say his relationship with his brother is more important than his relationship with his wife. Your wife is now your immediate family and after marriage your siblings become extended family


Think it through, if you shut down the trips with the loving aunt and uncle you risk alienating the daughter. It's all related. OP has only been married 6 months and the wife is pulling the bait and switch. She knew about these trips, and now she's trying to change the rules to her benefit. I wouldn't jeopardize my relationship with my daughter for a duplicitous spouse.


6 months or 60 years you are still married just the same. Don't marry someone with kids if you put your relationship with your brother over the relationship with your step kids.


You know marriages can be ended with divorce, right? The daughter is forever the spouse is not.


I'm talking about the brother. You should owe your wife and children a little more than your sibling


You're very short sighted if you think the brother is the only issue here. Why are you so hyper focused on the brother and ignoring the ripple effect? The daughter will be resentful if the beloved uncle is cut off. Who do you think she's going to blame? Her wicked step mother perhaps?


Exactly. How cruel that a greedy stepmother + stepsister duo are trying to destroy your daughters special time with her blood relative. Trying to wreck her Dubai trip out of pure jealousy. They need to hit up their own uncle for trips and cash. This is so unbelievable. It really is Cinderella. Wicked stepmother + step sisters trying to keep poor Cinderella stuck at home crying instead of going.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
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Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:And, you OP have responsibility to protect relationship of your daughter with her blood aunt or uncle and not let money grabber greedy stepdaughter mess it up


Right because blood is automatically always more important than your relationship with your spouse...


I would definitely put my daughter before my spouse who was trying to drive a wedge between us. Spouse is easily replaced.


I'm not referring to the daughter I'm referring to his brother. Why does he owe his brother loyalty over the woman he chose to marry??

Everyone here seems to say his relationship with his brother is more important than his relationship with his wife. Your wife is now your immediate family and after marriage your siblings become extended family


Think it through, if you shut down the trips with the loving aunt and uncle you risk alienating the daughter. It's all related. OP has only been married 6 months and the wife is pulling the bait and switch. She knew about these trips, and now she's trying to change the rules to her benefit. I wouldn't jeopardize my relationship with my daughter for a duplicitous spouse.


6 months or 60 years you are still married just the same. Don't marry someone with kids if you put your relationship with your brother over the relationship with your step kids.


You know marriages can be ended with divorce, right? The daughter is forever the spouse is not.


I'm talking about the brother. You should owe your wife and children a little more than your sibling


You're very short sighted if you think the brother is the only issue here. Why are you so hyper focused on the brother and ignoring the ripple effect? The daughter will be resentful if the beloved uncle is cut off. Who do you think she's going to blame? Her wicked step mother perhaps?


Exactly. How cruel that a greedy stepmother + stepsister duo are trying to destroy your daughters special time with her blood relative. Trying to wreck her Dubai trip out of pure jealousy. They need to hit up their own uncle for trips and cash. This is so unbelievable. It really is Cinderella. Wicked stepmother + step sisters trying to keep poor Cinderella stuck at home crying instead of going.


And, OP, this isn't about taking sides of your wife versus your brother. It's about choosing your daughter first.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:And, you OP have responsibility to protect relationship of your daughter with her blood aunt or uncle and not let money grabber greedy stepdaughter mess it up


Right because blood is automatically always more important than your relationship with your spouse...


I would definitely put my daughter before my spouse who was trying to drive a wedge between us. Spouse is easily replaced.


I'm not referring to the daughter I'm referring to his brother. Why does he owe his brother loyalty over the woman he chose to marry??

Everyone here seems to say his relationship with his brother is more important than his relationship with his wife. Your wife is now your immediate family and after marriage your siblings become extended family


It’s not about owing the brother loyalty, it’s that as a reasonable sane person you need to side with the reasonable sane person in a disagreement and not with the unreasonable insane one. Even if that unreasonable insane one is the woman you just made the mistake of marrying.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Life changing experiences…

In what way? Molding spoiled brats?

You’re all ridiculous and deserve each other.


Totally agree. They all sound insufferable. I feel like it must be a troll.


Traveling IS life changing. You see a different side of the world. Sounds like you don’t get out much.
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:Your wife isn’t entitled to have her children taken on trips by your brother.

But you’re truly naive to think that one child in a household being raised as the princess is going to go without comment by the other children/adults in the home. Your wife’s daughters are going to expect to be taken on trips— on your wife/your dime— that their stepsister is excluded from. I hope you have budgeted accordingly. I hope you are ready to answer to your daughter as to why she’s not welcome to go on your next family vacation.

You should have waited a few years until all of these children were in college before marrying.


Uh, no. This young woman’s aunt and uncle are taking her on vacation. Neither she nor the OP owe anything to his wife’s spoiled, whiny brats.

OP, stay in the guest room and do whatever to need to do to get out of this marriage. The constant greed and keeping count from your step daughters and wife is just beginning.


Those whiny brats are somebody's children.

And he committed to respecting those whiny brats when he committed to their mother.



respecting doesn't equal foisting them on his brother for an expensive international trip.

OP’s wife is mad at *him* and has him in the doghouse for not checking and correcting his brother’s over the top disrespectful comment NOT because the brother said no. She is in the right, DH is a passive coward in that regard.


She needs to look in the mirror. It was disrespectful to even ask the brother. There is no defending HER actions. The brother simply reacted after the Wife went behind her husbands back. Sorry, the wife is in the wrong and got what she deserved. She would not get an apology from me if I were in OP's shoes.


+1

I think the OP should apologize to the brother and also demand that his new wife apologize to the brother too. And also the new wife should agree to never use the brothers private number to harass him or make any demands again.
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:The OP may be a troll, but the people in this thread are so juvenile, vulgar, and classless. True gutter Jerry Springer audience members of the soul. That response was *way* out of line when speaking to any man’s wife, let alone his own brother’s wife.


She contacted him first and made a rude demand. She got back what she was dishing out. Who did she think she was to contact him and talk to him that way?

She “texted him and asked him why he never took her kids anywhere that it was not fair.” That may be whiny, but it’s not rude and it’s definitely not disrespectful. What the brother said was.

Do we teach our children to speak to others that way? Of course not, but because OP’s wife is allegedly some horrible woman who should be divorced immediately and she deserves to get put in her place? GMAFB. Vile.


I’m not the person you’re responding to, but come on. Of course it’s super rude to contact a random person (absolutely nobody to you, by blood or marriage) and demand that they spend tens of thousands of dollars on your kids taking them on vacations just because they feel entitled to it because they need to watch another kid get it. Nobody normal does that. The brother got annoyed and understandably so. Honestly she’s lucky he didn’t just tell her to F off. I’m sure he had to hold that back and feels like he did a pretty good job restraining himself!


NP but he's literally her brother in law. By marriage.

OP you sound like a weird observer in your own family. You've been with this woman for seven years and you don't think it's strange that your family doesn't care to get to know her beyond pleasantries? You don't particularly care about your stepdaughters even though you've known them since elementary school, you don't care enough about your own daughter not to join families with someone whose kids she dislikes enough to avoid your house, you don't care enough about your wife to tell you brother not to curse at her. You're just kind of drifting through, surrounded by people behaving various degrees of badly and reporting back on their behavior with little investment or awareness to how you're contributing to this dysfunction. It's bizarre, but I think this is a troll so who cares.


His family (if you mean his brother) has gotten to know her beyond pleasantries. They’re apparently at the level of her feeling entitled enough to call him directly, without her husbands knowledge or involvement, and make insane demands of his time and money. His family knows her and just doesn’t like her. Which is exactly what the brother said.


Not quite. OP's wife feels confident enough in her ability to control and manipulate OP, that she has calculated that bringing enormous pressure to bear on OP, to cause a family rift with his brother, on her behalf/her kids' behalf (the OP's stepkids), will result in some kind of a financial benefit to her (or her kids/his step kids) at some point down the road if she keeps the pressure on long enough. She does not care if that results in a permanent breach between OP and his brother, OP and his daughter, or anyone else.

Now, the financial benefit she anticipates by these tactics aren't necessarily that OP's brother in law will pay for OP's stepkids to do anything. That seems very unlikely. But, she will torment and guilt trip OP until he makes some sort of huge financial concession for the benefit of her, and/or her step kids. They have separate finances, however, she will attempt to manipulate and guilt OP into taking on financial responsibility for his step children in various ways.

She is just like the other woman who glommed her husband's $1,000 gift check from his Mom, only more so--the end result, the natural conclusion of that type of thinking and that type of behavior.


You are kind of an idiot if you think you can get married without ever taking on any financial responsibility for your spouse or their minor children. This would be as stupid as being surprised that you are expected to cook for them or make sure they get to school. That’s not real life.


Wow what cereal box did you get your law degree with a specialty in family law, off the backnof?


It’s not a legal responsibility, but it is a realistic expectation. There isn’t a law that says that you have to cook for your stepkids, but you are an idiot if you think that you are just going to have family meals for yourself, your spouse, and your bio kids, and the stepkids will fend for themselves.

OP’s expectation that he was just going to carry on like he and his wife have their own separate families after they are married and living together is delusional. It does not reflect the reality of family life.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The OP may be a troll, but the people in this thread are so juvenile, vulgar, and classless. True gutter Jerry Springer audience members of the soul. That response was *way* out of line when speaking to any man’s wife, let alone his own brother’s wife.


She contacted him first and made a rude demand. She got back what she was dishing out. Who did she think she was to contact him and talk to him that way?

She “texted him and asked him why he never took her kids anywhere that it was not fair.” That may be whiny, but it’s not rude and it’s definitely not disrespectful. What the brother said was.

Do we teach our children to speak to others that way? Of course not, but because OP’s wife is allegedly some horrible woman who should be divorced immediately and she deserves to get put in her place? GMAFB. Vile.


I’m not the person you’re responding to, but come on. Of course it’s super rude to contact a random person (absolutely nobody to you, by blood or marriage) and demand that they spend tens of thousands of dollars on your kids taking them on vacations just because they feel entitled to it because they need to watch another kid get it. Nobody normal does that. The brother got annoyed and understandably so. Honestly she’s lucky he didn’t just tell her to F off. I’m sure he had to hold that back and feels like he did a pretty good job restraining himself!


NP but he's literally her brother in law. By marriage.

OP you sound like a weird observer in your own family. You've been with this woman for seven years and you don't think it's strange that your family doesn't care to get to know her beyond pleasantries? You don't particularly care about your stepdaughters even though you've known them since elementary school, you don't care enough about your own daughter not to join families with someone whose kids she dislikes enough to avoid your house, you don't care enough about your wife to tell you brother not to curse at her. You're just kind of drifting through, surrounded by people behaving various degrees of badly and reporting back on their behavior with little investment or awareness to how you're contributing to this dysfunction. It's bizarre, but I think this is a troll so who cares.


His family (if you mean his brother) has gotten to know her beyond pleasantries. They’re apparently at the level of her feeling entitled enough to call him directly, without her husbands knowledge or involvement, and make insane demands of his time and money. His family knows her and just doesn’t like her. Which is exactly what the brother said.


Not quite. OP's wife feels confident enough in her ability to control and manipulate OP, that she has calculated that bringing enormous pressure to bear on OP, to cause a family rift with his brother, on her behalf/her kids' behalf (the OP's stepkids), will result in some kind of a financial benefit to her (or her kids/his step kids) at some point down the road if she keeps the pressure on long enough. She does not care if that results in a permanent breach between OP and his brother, OP and his daughter, or anyone else.

Now, the financial benefit she anticipates by these tactics aren't necessarily that OP's brother in law will pay for OP's stepkids to do anything. That seems very unlikely. But, she will torment and guilt trip OP until he makes some sort of huge financial concession for the benefit of her, and/or her step kids. They have separate finances, however, she will attempt to manipulate and guilt OP into taking on financial responsibility for his step children in various ways.

She is just like the other woman who glommed her husband's $1,000 gift check from his Mom, only more so--the end result, the natural conclusion of that type of thinking and that type of behavior.


You are kind of an idiot if you think you can get married without ever taking on any financial responsibility for your spouse or their minor children. This would be as stupid as being surprised that you are expected to cook for them or make sure they get to school. That’s not real life.


Wow what cereal box did you get your law degree with a specialty in family law, off the backnof?


It’s not a legal responsibility, but it is a realistic expectation. There isn’t a law that says that you have to cook for your stepkids, but you are an idiot if you think that you are just going to have family meals for yourself, your spouse, and your bio kids, and the stepkids will fend for themselves.

OP’s expectation that he was just going to carry on like he and his wife have their own separate families after they are married and living together is delusional. It does not reflect the reality of family life.



How does caring for a stepchild in your home translate into extended step relatives must send stepchild to Dubai? I'm lost there.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:And, you OP have responsibility to protect relationship of your daughter with her blood aunt or uncle and not let money grabber greedy stepdaughter mess it up


Right because blood is automatically always more important than your relationship with your spouse...


I would definitely put my daughter before my spouse who was trying to drive a wedge between us. Spouse is easily replaced.


I'm not referring to the daughter I'm referring to his brother. Why does he owe his brother loyalty over the woman he chose to marry??

Everyone here seems to say his relationship with his brother is more important than his relationship with his wife. Your wife is now your immediate family and after marriage your siblings become extended family


It’s not about owing the brother loyalty, it’s that as a reasonable sane person you need to side with the reasonable sane person in a disagreement and not with the unreasonable insane one. Even if that unreasonable insane one is the woman you just made the mistake of marrying.


OP didn’t say it was a mistake to marry her and said that he was frightened at the thought of divorce.
If you want to stay married, you don’t take an objective stance on any argument your spouse is in. You just take their side.

If my husband hated his job and came home with plans to blow up the building he works in, Office Space style, I would take a look at the plan. I wouldn’t tell him that maybe the boss is right and the TPS reports were late. You just side with your spouse.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The OP may be a troll, but the people in this thread are so juvenile, vulgar, and classless. True gutter Jerry Springer audience members of the soul. That response was *way* out of line when speaking to any man’s wife, let alone his own brother’s wife.


She contacted him first and made a rude demand. She got back what she was dishing out. Who did she think she was to contact him and talk to him that way?

She “texted him and asked him why he never took her kids anywhere that it was not fair.” That may be whiny, but it’s not rude and it’s definitely not disrespectful. What the brother said was.

Do we teach our children to speak to others that way? Of course not, but because OP’s wife is allegedly some horrible woman who should be divorced immediately and she deserves to get put in her place? GMAFB. Vile.


I’m not the person you’re responding to, but come on. Of course it’s super rude to contact a random person (absolutely nobody to you, by blood or marriage) and demand that they spend tens of thousands of dollars on your kids taking them on vacations just because they feel entitled to it because they need to watch another kid get it. Nobody normal does that. The brother got annoyed and understandably so. Honestly she’s lucky he didn’t just tell her to F off. I’m sure he had to hold that back and feels like he did a pretty good job restraining himself!


NP but he's literally her brother in law. By marriage.

OP you sound like a weird observer in your own family. You've been with this woman for seven years and you don't think it's strange that your family doesn't care to get to know her beyond pleasantries? You don't particularly care about your stepdaughters even though you've known them since elementary school, you don't care enough about your own daughter not to join families with someone whose kids she dislikes enough to avoid your house, you don't care enough about your wife to tell you brother not to curse at her. You're just kind of drifting through, surrounded by people behaving various degrees of badly and reporting back on their behavior with little investment or awareness to how you're contributing to this dysfunction. It's bizarre, but I think this is a troll so who cares.


His family (if you mean his brother) has gotten to know her beyond pleasantries. They’re apparently at the level of her feeling entitled enough to call him directly, without her husbands knowledge or involvement, and make insane demands of his time and money. His family knows her and just doesn’t like her. Which is exactly what the brother said.


Not quite. OP's wife feels confident enough in her ability to control and manipulate OP, that she has calculated that bringing enormous pressure to bear on OP, to cause a family rift with his brother, on her behalf/her kids' behalf (the OP's stepkids), will result in some kind of a financial benefit to her (or her kids/his step kids) at some point down the road if she keeps the pressure on long enough. She does not care if that results in a permanent breach between OP and his brother, OP and his daughter, or anyone else.

Now, the financial benefit she anticipates by these tactics aren't necessarily that OP's brother in law will pay for OP's stepkids to do anything. That seems very unlikely. But, she will torment and guilt trip OP until he makes some sort of huge financial concession for the benefit of her, and/or her step kids. They have separate finances, however, she will attempt to manipulate and guilt OP into taking on financial responsibility for his step children in various ways.

She is just like the other woman who glommed her husband's $1,000 gift check from his Mom, only more so--the end result, the natural conclusion of that type of thinking and that type of behavior.


You are kind of an idiot if you think you can get married without ever taking on any financial responsibility for your spouse or their minor children. This would be as stupid as being surprised that you are expected to cook for them or make sure they get to school. That’s not real life.


Wow what cereal box did you get your law degree with a specialty in family law, off the backnof?


It’s not a legal responsibility, but it is a realistic expectation. There isn’t a law that says that you have to cook for your stepkids, but you are an idiot if you think that you are just going to have family meals for yourself, your spouse, and your bio kids, and the stepkids will fend for themselves.

OP’s expectation that he was just going to carry on like he and his wife have their own separate families after they are married and living together is delusional. It does not reflect the reality of family life.



How does caring for a stepchild in your home translate into extended step relatives must send stepchild to Dubai? I'm lost there.


Pp thought that the wife didn’t expect her BIL to take her kid to Dubai, but that she was going to use this to put some pressure on OP to somehow take care of her kids in another way.
OP should expect to take care of the kids is some way. His assertion that he is just a friend to them and doesn’t fill any kind of parental role in their lives is wrong.
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