Cinderella? |
That's a very shitty viewpoint to take on a marriage and maybe that's one of the reasons the divorce rate is so high is because people continue to put their extended family (parents and siblings) above their spouse forgetting they made vows to be with their spouse till death do us part. They didn't make vows to their siblings to be with them till death do us part, they aren't sharing a bed and a literal life with their sibling, they don't make huge life decisions with their siblings, they don't have possible kids with their siblings. I say all that definitely should trump a sibling. The fact he be is putting the relationship with his brother above his own wife and step child speaks volumes of his priorities. I can certainly see him putting his own child even before his wife but not his brother. And it's also false that siblings are forever. People go no contact with blood family all the time. Blood doesn't guarantee a forever relationship. Blood can screw you over too. Not sure why on DCUM it's blood always before all. I think the spouse you actively choose to be in your life and share your life with kinda takes the cake on importance but yes continue to put your sibling who you don't even live with and share your life with and who probably has a family of their own they prioritize first and see where that gets you My husband has 2 brothers. One he talks to about 3-4 x a month the other he talks to about 2-3 times a year. If he put his brother he speaks to 2-3 a year above me and our marriage when I see the guy everyday, share a life and a house, share a bed with him he would have another thing coming. |
Umm what no way! Your spouse becomes your immediate family upon marriage. That's what marriage is forming your own family and making them a top priority. Guess you are going to raise your children with your sibling and build your life with your sibling then? |
Wow what cereal box did you get your law degree with a specialty in family law, off the backnof? |
I think you meant to say, don't marry a woman with kids if she is a conniving, greedy, entitled, stupid con artist. |
If you are as greedy, stupid, and toxic as OPs wife, you better believe your husband should side with the party who is in the right-- the brother. What, you have no conceot of right and wrong? Were you raised by a street gang or thugs bound by a criminals code of loyalty to each other? Do you actually think if you try to F@CK with someone the way OPs wife tried to F@CK with his brother, and nownis F@CKing with OP himself, your spouse is doing the right thing by siding with you? Please. Only criminals think that way. |
Exactly. How cruel that a greedy stepmother + stepsister duo are trying to destroy your daughters special time with her blood relative. Trying to wreck her Dubai trip out of pure jealousy. They need to hit up their own uncle for trips and cash. This is so unbelievable. It really is Cinderella. Wicked stepmother + step sisters trying to keep poor Cinderella stuck at home crying instead of going. |
And, OP, this isn't about taking sides of your wife versus your brother. It's about choosing your daughter first. |
It’s not about owing the brother loyalty, it’s that as a reasonable sane person you need to side with the reasonable sane person in a disagreement and not with the unreasonable insane one. Even if that unreasonable insane one is the woman you just made the mistake of marrying. |
Traveling IS life changing. You see a different side of the world. Sounds like you don’t get out much. |
+1 I think the OP should apologize to the brother and also demand that his new wife apologize to the brother too. And also the new wife should agree to never use the brothers private number to harass him or make any demands again. |
It’s not a legal responsibility, but it is a realistic expectation. There isn’t a law that says that you have to cook for your stepkids, but you are an idiot if you think that you are just going to have family meals for yourself, your spouse, and your bio kids, and the stepkids will fend for themselves. OP’s expectation that he was just going to carry on like he and his wife have their own separate families after they are married and living together is delusional. It does not reflect the reality of family life. |
How does caring for a stepchild in your home translate into extended step relatives must send stepchild to Dubai? I'm lost there. |
OP didn’t say it was a mistake to marry her and said that he was frightened at the thought of divorce. If you want to stay married, you don’t take an objective stance on any argument your spouse is in. You just take their side. If my husband hated his job and came home with plans to blow up the building he works in, Office Space style, I would take a look at the plan. I wouldn’t tell him that maybe the boss is right and the TPS reports were late. You just side with your spouse. |
Pp thought that the wife didn’t expect her BIL to take her kid to Dubai, but that she was going to use this to put some pressure on OP to somehow take care of her kids in another way. OP should expect to take care of the kids is some way. His assertion that he is just a friend to them and doesn’t fill any kind of parental role in their lives is wrong. |