My wife is furious with me for not standing up for her when my brother told her off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your wife isn’t entitled to have her children taken on trips by your brother.

But you’re truly naive to think that one child in a household being raised as the princess is going to go without comment by the other children/adults in the home. Your wife’s daughters are going to expect to be taken on trips— on your wife/your dime— that their stepsister is excluded from. I hope you have budgeted accordingly. I hope you are ready to answer to your daughter as to why she’s not welcome to go on your next family vacation.

You should have waited a few years until all of these children were in college before marrying.

Well, they can expect that all they want, but it isn’t going to happen. DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You've posted this before or a similar one. Yes they should take all the kids.

You are impressively wrong.

[Anonymous]

Where are people getting the idea that this was supposed to be on the BIL’s dime? The OP and his wife have separate finances. Why would the one instance where she would suddenly decide not to pay for her daughters be when an extended family member is taking them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP may be a troll, but the people in this thread are so juvenile, vulgar, and classless. True gutter Jerry Springer audience members of the soul. That response was *way* out of line when speaking to any man’s wife, let alone his own brother’s wife.

She contacted him first and made a rude demand. She got back what she was dishing out. Who did she think she was to contact him and talk to him that way?

She “texted him and asked him why he never took her kids anywhere that it was not fair.” That may be whiny, but it’s not rude and it’s definitely not disrespectful. What the brother said was.

Do we teach our children to speak to others that way? Of course not, but because OP’s wife is allegedly some horrible woman who should be divorced immediately and she deserves to get put in her place? GMAFB. Vile.

It most assuredly IS rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am the kind of person who would treat all kids in a house exactly the same regardless of whether I love them or not.

. . .

Your BIL does not get to say that he does not like your wife's kids. Thst part is going too far. I wouldn't blame her for not wanting him in her house.

Yes, your wife was being unreasonable. And her kids were wrong, but jealousy dies happen with children living in the same house.

There is a 12 year long relationship history at play here. Meeting a kid at birth and meeting a kid as a teen is likely to result in a different relationship. Also there is nothing like a sibling’s kid and for a lot of people that doesn’t attach to step kids. In fact, neither OP nor his wife has developed a parent relationship with each other’s kids yet the uncle is supposed to? Yeah, no.

As to having him at the house, that’s a tough one. OP’s wife should get a say in who e gets her safe place but OP and his brother seem close.

I agree that the relationship is doomed.

BTW, I do like that brother was honest. No need to be gratuitously cruel but OP’s wife asked for it. I also like that OP is standing up for his kid and the relationship with Brother and SIL. I am extremely close with a few of my brothers’ kids and the extra adults to support them as they transitioned into independent adults was really valuable for them. OP’s daughter is really lucky to have them.

His relationship with his own wife should definitely be more important and valuable than the relationship with his brother. WTF?

Does not matter. She has no say in how brother spends brother's money. OP has no say in that either. If wife placed any value on the relationship she would not have gone behind his back trying to extort money from his brother. Stop gaslighting, this is all her fault, every bit of it, including the verbal smackdown she got.

I don’t think she was asking the brother to spend any money. The OP and his wife have separate finances.
Also, the brother’s comment really only makes sense if she has told him that she will pay for the girls. It isn’t about money. He isn’t taking them because he doesn’t like them and doesn’t want to take a trip with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP may be a troll, but the people in this thread are so juvenile, vulgar, and classless. True gutter Jerry Springer audience members of the soul. That response was *way* out of line when speaking to any man’s wife, let alone his own brother’s wife.

She contacted him first and made a rude demand. She got back what she was dishing out. Who did she think she was to contact him and talk to him that way?

She “texted him and asked him why he never took her kids anywhere that it was not fair.” That may be whiny, but it’s not rude and it’s definitely not disrespectful. What the brother said was.

Do we teach our children to speak to others that way? Of course not, but because OP’s wife is allegedly some horrible woman who should be divorced immediately and she deserves to get put in her place? GMAFB. Vile.

I’m not the person you’re responding to, but come on. Of course it’s super rude to contact a random person (absolutely nobody to you, by blood or marriage) and demand that they spend tens of thousands of dollars on your kids taking them on vacations just because they feel entitled to it because they need to watch another kid get it. Nobody normal does that. The brother got annoyed and understandably so. Honestly she’s lucky he didn’t just tell her to F off. I’m sure he had to hold that back and feels like he did a pretty good job restraining himself!

NP but he's literally her brother in law. By marriage.

OP you sound like a weird observer in your own family. You've been with this woman for seven years and you don't think it's strange that your family doesn't care to get to know her beyond pleasantries? You don't particularly care about your stepdaughters even though you've known them since elementary school, you don't care enough about your own daughter not to join families with someone whose kids she dislikes enough to avoid your house, you don't care enough about your wife to tell you brother not to curse at her. You're just kind of drifting through, surrounded by people behaving various degrees of badly and reporting back on their behavior with little investment or awareness to how you're contributing to this dysfunction. It's bizarre, but I think this is a troll so who cares.

Brother in law is nobody in this case. She’s not his blood and she didn’t marry him. Brother in law sometimes means something in families because it’s the blood uncle for your kids. Which isn’t the case here. This guy has no relation whatsoever to this woman. And he has no relation whatsoever to her kids.

What a bizarre take on in laws. We don’t have kids but my husband’s brother is not a nobody to me or vice versa. And despite not popping me out of her womb, my husband’s mother is related to me too *gasp!*

Well that’s your take on it. Personally I don’t think you owe them anything and they don’t owe you anything. Once you have kids, things change slightly since your kids are blood related to them.

If you choose to have friendships with your in-laws because of mutual respect then that’s great. But they aren’t related to you.

They’re literally related by marriage. That’s the definition of being related by marriage. The world doesn’t revolve around your petty opinion, Janice!

Nor does it revolve around yours, Becky!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your wife isn’t entitled to have her children taken on trips by your brother.

But you’re truly naive to think that one child in a household being raised as the princess is going to go without comment by the other children/adults in the home. Your wife’s daughters are going to expect to be taken on trips— on your wife/your dime— that their stepsister is excluded from. I hope you have budgeted accordingly. I hope you are ready to answer to your daughter as to why she’s not welcome to go on your next family vacation.

You should have waited a few years until all of these children were in college before marrying.

Uh, no. This young woman’s aunt and uncle are taking her on vacation. Neither she nor the OP owe anything to his wife’s spoiled, whiny brats.

OP, stay in the guest room and do whatever to need to do to get out of this marriage. The constant greed and keeping count from your step daughters and wife is just beginning.

Those whiny brats are somebody's children.

And he committed to respecting those whiny brats when he committed to their mother.

respecting doesn't equal foisting them on his brother for an expensive international trip.

OP’s wife is mad at *him* and has him in the doghouse for not checking and correcting his brother’s over the top disrespectful comment NOT because the brother said no. She is in the right, DH is a passive coward in that regard.

No. OP's wife picked a fight that OP told her not to even think about. She deliberately went behind OP's back to do so. She got her head handed to her, appropproately so, by the brother's righteous truth,
and having done so, NOW comes running back to OP to clean up the mess SHE made?

OP's wife is a toxic, greedy little 304 who wants to blame everyone but herself for her poor decisions and for the conflict she single handedly created. Now she is doubling down, basically daring OP to divorce her.

Well, let's hope OP has even 10% of the spine his brother has, and she can sail right on out of his life into the sunset with her little witch-children and move to East Palestine Ohio right where she belongs, with all the other toxic waste.

In what world is it appropriate to tell your brother's wife that you dislike her children?

Is this man planning to come into that house and fake pleasantries with that woman and her children after this utterance or does he plan to pick up his niece at the curb from now henceforth?

Who in their right mind creates such a toxic environment around them?

In the world in which she calls you up, throws a toddler temper tantrum and demands you take her THREE spoiled brats on an international trip you’re taking with your own niece.

Any other questions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, you OP have responsibility to protect relationship of your daughter with her blood aunt or uncle and not let money grabber greedy stepdaughter mess it up

Right because blood is automatically always more important than your relationship with your spouse...

I would definitely put my daughter before my spouse who was trying to drive a wedge between us. Spouse is easily replaced.

I'm not referring to the daughter I'm referring to his brother. Why does he owe his brother loyalty over the woman he chose to marry??

Everyone here seems to say his relationship with his brother is more important than his relationship with his wife. Your wife is now your immediate family and after marriage your siblings become extended family

Think it through, if you shut down the trips with the loving aunt and uncle you risk alienating the daughter. It's all related. OP has only been married 6 months and the wife is pulling the bait and switch. She knew about these trips, and now she's trying to change the rules to her benefit. I wouldn't jeopardize my relationship with my daughter for a duplicitous spouse.

6 months or 60 years you are still married just the same. Don't marry someone with kids if you put your relationship with your brother over the relationship with your step kids.

You know marriages can be ended with divorce, right? The daughter is forever the spouse is not.

I'm talking about the brother. You should owe your wife and children a little more than your sibling

Mmkay. Then the BROTHER is forever. The spouse is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your wife isn’t entitled to have her children taken on trips by your brother.

But you’re truly naive to think that one child in a household being raised as the princess is going to go without comment by the other children/adults in the home. Your wife’s daughters are going to expect to be taken on trips— on your wife/your dime— that their stepsister is excluded from. I hope you have budgeted accordingly. I hope you are ready to answer to your daughter as to why she’s not welcome to go on your next family vacation.

You should have waited a few years until all of these children were in college before marrying.

Uh, no. This young woman’s aunt and uncle are taking her on vacation. Neither she nor the OP owe anything to his wife’s spoiled, whiny brats.

OP, stay in the guest room and do whatever to need to do to get out of this marriage. The constant greed and keeping count from your step daughters and wife is just beginning.

Those whiny brats are somebody's children.

And he committed to respecting those whiny brats when he committed to their mother.

respecting doesn't equal foisting them on his brother for an expensive international trip.

OP’s wife is mad at *him* and has him in the doghouse for not checking and correcting his brother’s over the top disrespectful comment NOT because the brother said no. She is in the right, DH is a passive coward in that regard.

No. OP's wife picked a fight that OP told her not to even think about. She deliberately went behind OP's back to do so. She got her head handed to her, appropproately so, by the brother's righteous truth,
and having done so, NOW comes running back to OP to clean up the mess SHE made?

OP's wife is a toxic, greedy little 304 who wants to blame everyone but herself for her poor decisions and for the conflict she single handedly created. Now she is doubling down, basically daring OP to divorce her.

Well, let's hope OP has even 10% of the spine his brother has, and she can sail right on out of his life into the sunset with her little witch-children and move to East Palestine Ohio right where she belongs, with all the other toxic waste.

In what world is it appropriate to tell your brother's wife that you dislike her children?

Is this man planning to come into that house and fake pleasantries with that woman and her children after this utterance or does he plan to pick up his niece at the curb from now henceforth?

Who in their right mind creates such a toxic environment around them?

In the world in which she calls you up, throws a toddler temper tantrum and demands you take her THREE spoiled brats on an international trip you’re taking with your own niece.

Any other questions?

What if she calls up and offers to pay for the whole trip including BIL and his wife if they take the kids?
You have no idea what her side of the phone call was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP may be a troll, but the people in this thread are so juvenile, vulgar, and classless. True gutter Jerry Springer audience members of the soul. That response was *way* out of line when speaking to any man’s wife, let alone his own brother’s wife.

She contacted him first and made a rude demand. She got back what she was dishing out. Who did she think she was to contact him and talk to him that way?

She “texted him and asked him why he never took her kids anywhere that it was not fair.” That may be whiny, but it’s not rude and it’s definitely not disrespectful. What the brother said was.

Do we teach our children to speak to others that way? Of course not, but because OP’s wife is allegedly some horrible woman who should be divorced immediately and she deserves to get put in her place? GMAFB. Vile.

I’m not the person you’re responding to, but come on. Of course it’s super rude to contact a random person (absolutely nobody to you, by blood or marriage) and demand that they spend tens of thousands of dollars on your kids taking them on vacations just because they feel entitled to it because they need to watch another kid get it. Nobody normal does that. The brother got annoyed and understandably so. Honestly she’s lucky he didn’t just tell her to F off. I’m sure he had to hold that back and feels like he did a pretty good job restraining himself!

NP but he's literally her brother in law. By marriage.

OP you sound like a weird observer in your own family. You've been with this woman for seven years and you don't think it's strange that your family doesn't care to get to know her beyond pleasantries? You don't particularly care about your stepdaughters even though you've known them since elementary school, you don't care enough about your own daughter not to join families with someone whose kids she dislikes enough to avoid your house, you don't care enough about your wife to tell you brother not to curse at her. You're just kind of drifting through, surrounded by people behaving various degrees of badly and reporting back on their behavior with little investment or awareness to how you're contributing to this dysfunction. It's bizarre, but I think this is a troll so who cares.

His family (if you mean his brother) has gotten to know her beyond pleasantries. They’re apparently at the level of her feeling entitled enough to call him directly, without her husbands knowledge or involvement, and make insane demands of his time and money. His family knows her and just doesn’t like her. Which is exactly what the brother said.

Not quite. OP's wife feels confident enough in her ability to control and manipulate OP, that she has calculated that bringing enormous pressure to bear on OP, to cause a family rift with his brother, on her behalf/her kids' behalf (the OP's stepkids), will result in some kind of a financial benefit to her (or her kids/his step kids) at some point down the road if she keeps the pressure on long enough. She does not care if that results in a permanent breach between OP and his brother, OP and his daughter, or anyone else.

Now, the financial benefit she anticipates by these tactics aren't necessarily that OP's brother in law will pay for OP's stepkids to do anything. That seems very unlikely. But, she will torment and guilt trip OP until he makes some sort of huge financial concession for the benefit of her, and/or her step kids. They have separate finances, however, she will attempt to manipulate and guilt OP into taking on financial responsibility for his step children in various ways.

She is just like the other woman who glommed her husband's $1,000 gift check from his Mom, only more so--the end result, the natural conclusion of that type of thinking and that type of behavior.

You are kind of an idiot if you think you can get married without ever taking on any financial responsibility for your spouse or their minor children. This would be as stupid as being surprised that you are expected to cook for them or make sure they get to school. That’s not real life.

Wow what cereal box did you get your law degree with a specialty in family law, off the backnof?

It’s not a legal responsibility, but it is a realistic expectation. There isn’t a law that says that you have to cook for your stepkids, but you are an idiot if you think that you are just going to have family meals for yourself, your spouse, and your bio kids, and the stepkids will fend for themselves.

OP’s expectation that he was just going to carry on like he and his wife have their own separate families after they are married and living together is delusional. It does not reflect the reality of family life.

Nope. You should have stopped here. Everything else you wrote is extraneous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP may be a troll, but the people in this thread are so juvenile, vulgar, and classless. True gutter Jerry Springer audience members of the soul. That response was *way* out of line when speaking to any man’s wife, let alone his own brother’s wife.

She contacted him first and made a rude demand. She got back what she was dishing out. Who did she think she was to contact him and talk to him that way?

She “texted him and asked him why he never took her kids anywhere that it was not fair.” That may be whiny, but it’s not rude and it’s definitely not disrespectful. What the brother said was.

Do we teach our children to speak to others that way? Of course not, but because OP’s wife is allegedly some horrible woman who should be divorced immediately and she deserves to get put in her place? GMAFB. Vile.

I’m not the person you’re responding to, but come on. Of course it’s super rude to contact a random person (absolutely nobody to you, by blood or marriage) and demand that they spend tens of thousands of dollars on your kids taking them on vacations just because they feel entitled to it because they need to watch another kid get it. Nobody normal does that. The brother got annoyed and understandably so. Honestly she’s lucky he didn’t just tell her to F off. I’m sure he had to hold that back and feels like he did a pretty good job restraining himself!

NP but he's literally her brother in law. By marriage.

OP you sound like a weird observer in your own family. You've been with this woman for seven years and you don't think it's strange that your family doesn't care to get to know her beyond pleasantries? You don't particularly care about your stepdaughters even though you've known them since elementary school, you don't care enough about your own daughter not to join families with someone whose kids she dislikes enough to avoid your house, you don't care enough about your wife to tell you brother not to curse at her. You're just kind of drifting through, surrounded by people behaving various degrees of badly and reporting back on their behavior with little investment or awareness to how you're contributing to this dysfunction. It's bizarre, but I think this is a troll so who cares.

His family (if you mean his brother) has gotten to know her beyond pleasantries. They’re apparently at the level of her feeling entitled enough to call him directly, without her husbands knowledge or involvement, and make insane demands of his time and money. His family knows her and just doesn’t like her. Which is exactly what the brother said.

Not quite. OP's wife feels confident enough in her ability to control and manipulate OP, that she has calculated that bringing enormous pressure to bear on OP, to cause a family rift with his brother, on her behalf/her kids' behalf (the OP's stepkids), will result in some kind of a financial benefit to her (or her kids/his step kids) at some point down the road if she keeps the pressure on long enough. She does not care if that results in a permanent breach between OP and his brother, OP and his daughter, or anyone else.

Now, the financial benefit she anticipates by these tactics aren't necessarily that OP's brother in law will pay for OP's stepkids to do anything. That seems very unlikely. But, she will torment and guilt trip OP until he makes some sort of huge financial concession for the benefit of her, and/or her step kids. They have separate finances, however, she will attempt to manipulate and guilt OP into taking on financial responsibility for his step children in various ways.

She is just like the other woman who glommed her husband's $1,000 gift check from his Mom, only more so--the end result, the natural conclusion of that type of thinking and that type of behavior.

You are kind of an idiot if you think you can get married without ever taking on any financial responsibility for your spouse or their minor children. This would be as stupid as being surprised that you are expected to cook for them or make sure they get to school. That’s not real life.

Wow what cereal box did you get your law degree with a specialty in family law, off the backnof?

It’s not a legal responsibility, but it is a realistic expectation. There isn’t a law that says that you have to cook for your stepkids, but you are an idiot if you think that you are just going to have family meals for yourself, your spouse, and your bio kids, and the stepkids will fend for themselves.

OP’s expectation that he was just going to carry on like he and his wife have their own separate families after they are married and living together is delusional. It does not reflect the reality of family life.

How does caring for a stepchild in your home translate into extended step relatives must send stepchild to Dubai? I'm lost there.

Pp thought that the wife didn’t expect her BIL to take her kid to Dubai, but that she was going to use this to put some pressure on OP to somehow take care of her kids in another way.
OP should expect to take care of the kids is some way. His assertion that he is just a friend to them and doesn’t fill any kind of parental role in their lives is wrong.

Oh, ABSOLUTELY not. She’s not getting a single scrap of reward for her spoiled, conniving, manipulative behavior in pulling this little stunt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your wife isn’t entitled to have her children taken on trips by your brother.

But you’re truly naive to think that one child in a household being raised as the princess is going to go without comment by the other children/adults in the home. Your wife’s daughters are going to expect to be taken on trips— on your wife/your dime— that their stepsister is excluded from. I hope you have budgeted accordingly. I hope you are ready to answer to your daughter as to why she’s not welcome to go on your next family vacation.

You should have waited a few years until all of these children were in college before marrying.

Uh, no. This young woman’s aunt and uncle are taking her on vacation. Neither she nor the OP owe anything to his wife’s spoiled, whiny brats.

OP, stay in the guest room and do whatever to need to do to get out of this marriage. The constant greed and keeping count from your step daughters and wife is just beginning.

Those whiny brats are somebody's children.

And he committed to respecting those whiny brats when he committed to their mother.

respecting doesn't equal foisting them on his brother for an expensive international trip.

OP’s wife is mad at *him* and has him in the doghouse for not checking and correcting his brother’s over the top disrespectful comment NOT because the brother said no. She is in the right, DH is a passive coward in that regard.

No. OP's wife picked a fight that OP told her not to even think about. She deliberately went behind OP's back to do so. She got her head handed to her, appropproately so, by the brother's righteous truth,
and having done so, NOW comes running back to OP to clean up the mess SHE made?

OP's wife is a toxic, greedy little 304 who wants to blame everyone but herself for her poor decisions and for the conflict she single handedly created. Now she is doubling down, basically daring OP to divorce her.

Well, let's hope OP has even 10% of the spine his brother has, and she can sail right on out of his life into the sunset with her little witch-children and move to East Palestine Ohio right where she belongs, with all the other toxic waste.

In what world is it appropriate to tell your brother's wife that you dislike her children?

Is this man planning to come into that house and fake pleasantries with that woman and her children after this utterance or does he plan to pick up his niece at the curb from now henceforth?

Who in their right mind creates such a toxic environment around them?

In the world in which she calls you up, throws a toddler temper tantrum and demands you take her THREE spoiled brats on an international trip you’re taking with your own niece.

Any other questions?

What if she calls up and offers to pay for the whole trip including BIL and his wife if they take the kids?
You have no idea what her side of the phone call was.

If she wants HER children to go to Dubai, SHE CAN TAKE THEM HER DAMN SELF.

JFC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your wife isn’t entitled to have her children taken on trips by your brother.

But you’re truly naive to think that one child in a household being raised as the princess is going to go without comment by the other children/adults in the home. Your wife’s daughters are going to expect to be taken on trips— on your wife/your dime— that their stepsister is excluded from. I hope you have budgeted accordingly. I hope you are ready to answer to your daughter as to why she’s not welcome to go on your next family vacation.

You should have waited a few years until all of these children were in college before marrying.

Uh, no. This young woman’s aunt and uncle are taking her on vacation. Neither she nor the OP owe anything to his wife’s spoiled, whiny brats.

OP, stay in the guest room and do whatever to need to do to get out of this marriage. The constant greed and keeping count from your step daughters and wife is just beginning.

Those whiny brats are somebody's children.

And he committed to respecting those whiny brats when he committed to their mother.

respecting doesn't equal foisting them on his brother for an expensive international trip.

OP’s wife is mad at *him* and has him in the doghouse for not checking and correcting his brother’s over the top disrespectful comment NOT because the brother said no. She is in the right, DH is a passive coward in that regard.

No. OP's wife picked a fight that OP told her not to even think about. She deliberately went behind OP's back to do so. She got her head handed to her, appropproately so, by the brother's righteous truth,
and having done so, NOW comes running back to OP to clean up the mess SHE made?

OP's wife is a toxic, greedy little 304 who wants to blame everyone but herself for her poor decisions and for the conflict she single handedly created. Now she is doubling down, basically daring OP to divorce her.

Well, let's hope OP has even 10% of the spine his brother has, and she can sail right on out of his life into the sunset with her little witch-children and move to East Palestine Ohio right where she belongs, with all the other toxic waste.

In what world is it appropriate to tell your brother's wife that you dislike her children?

Is this man planning to come into that house and fake pleasantries with that woman and her children after this utterance or does he plan to pick up his niece at the curb from now henceforth?

Who in their right mind creates such a toxic environment around them?

In the world in which she calls you up, throws a toddler temper tantrum and demands you take her THREE spoiled brats on an international trip you’re taking with your own niece.

Any other questions?

What if she calls up and offers to pay for the whole trip including BIL and his wife if they take the kids?
You have no idea what her side of the phone call was.

That’s some hilariously fantastical fanfiction you’re writing there. Would get a D in any community college writing course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your wife isn’t entitled to have her children taken on trips by your brother.

But you’re truly naive to think that one child in a household being raised as the princess is going to go without comment by the other children/adults in the home. Your wife’s daughters are going to expect to be taken on trips— on your wife/your dime— that their stepsister is excluded from. I hope you have budgeted accordingly. I hope you are ready to answer to your daughter as to why she’s not welcome to go on your next family vacation.

You should have waited a few years until all of these children were in college before marrying.

Uh, no. This young woman’s aunt and uncle are taking her on vacation. Neither she nor the OP owe anything to his wife’s spoiled, whiny brats.

OP, stay in the guest room and do whatever to need to do to get out of this marriage. The constant greed and keeping count from your step daughters and wife is just beginning.

Those whiny brats are somebody's children.

And he committed to respecting those whiny brats when he committed to their mother.

respecting doesn't equal foisting them on his brother for an expensive international trip.

OP’s wife is mad at *him* and has him in the doghouse for not checking and correcting his brother’s over the top disrespectful comment NOT because the brother said no. She is in the right, DH is a passive coward in that regard.

No. OP's wife picked a fight that OP told her not to even think about. She deliberately went behind OP's back to do so. She got her head handed to her, appropproately so, by the brother's righteous truth,
and having done so, NOW comes running back to OP to clean up the mess SHE made?

OP's wife is a toxic, greedy little 304 who wants to blame everyone but herself for her poor decisions and for the conflict she single handedly created. Now she is doubling down, basically daring OP to divorce her.

Well, let's hope OP has even 10% of the spine his brother has, and she can sail right on out of his life into the sunset with her little witch-children and move to East Palestine Ohio right where she belongs, with all the other toxic waste.

In what world is it appropriate to tell your brother's wife that you dislike her children?

Is this man planning to come into that house and fake pleasantries with that woman and her children after this utterance or does he plan to pick up his niece at the curb from now henceforth?

Who in their right mind creates such a toxic environment around them?

In the world in which she calls you up, throws a toddler temper tantrum and demands you take her THREE spoiled brats on an international trip you’re taking with your own niece.

Any other questions?

Yes. I have some more questions.

Since you think this is an appropriate reaction, please put yourselves in BIL's frame of thought fir a little longer here.

Would you say that to someone and then enter their house to pick up your niece? When you get there, how to you interact with them and those children? Do you still give them Christmas gifts after this or are you going to stop now that their mother knows how you feel about them?

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Anonymous wrote:And, you OP have responsibility to protect relationship of your daughter with her blood aunt or uncle and not let money grabber greedy stepdaughter mess it up

Right because blood is automatically always more important than your relationship with your spouse...

I would definitely put my daughter before my spouse who was trying to drive a wedge between us. Spouse is easily replaced.

I'm not referring to the daughter I'm referring to his brother. Why does he owe his brother loyalty over the woman he chose to marry??

Everyone here seems to say his relationship with his brother is more important than his relationship with his wife. Your wife is now your immediate family and after marriage your siblings become extended family

Think it through, if you shut down the trips with the loving aunt and uncle you risk alienating the daughter. It's all related. OP has only been married 6 months and the wife is pulling the bait and switch. She knew about these trips, and now she's trying to change the rules to her benefit. I wouldn't jeopardize my relationship with my daughter for a duplicitous spouse.

6 months or 60 years you are still married just the same. Don't marry someone with kids if you put your relationship with your brother over the relationship with your step kids.

You know marriages can be ended with divorce, right? The daughter is forever the spouse is not.

I'm talking about the brother. You should owe your wife and children a little more than your sibling

Mmkay. Then the BROTHER is forever. The spouse is not.

I'm so shocked everyone on here thinks the brother should be more important than your own spouse. Do you create a family with your sibling? Did you make vows with your sibling? You literally create vows with your spouse not your sibling. Once married you are creating your own nuclear family and putting them first.

Would you expect your own spouse to put their sibling ahead of you just based on principle that they are your sibling?