I do not like the parent population at my kids school

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:and I don't know what to do about it. It is a great school but I am miserable.My kids seem happy and that its what matters. I am miserable

Cool outgoing rich parents come to you. They size you up pretty quickly and invite you into their circle if they deem you a peer. They can glance at your LinkedIn and Facebook for 30 seconds to see the friends you have in common, where you went to college, where you work, and where you live. Zillow stalking takes another 30 seconds. I'm afraid they don't see you as being on their level. But it sounds like your kids are having better luck and that's what it's all about, right?

We are nobodies (feds in a small house with no social cred) and our kids are at the Cathedral schools. IME some of the most connected, wealthiest parents are actually the nicest and most inclusive. It's the strivers (who are far more like us on paper then they'd ever admit) that can be mean.
It's a tale as old as time. If you've really "made it" then you're free to be nice to the small people--many of whom are actually very interesting people. If you're continually clawing and insecure you're often preoccupied by who else may move into your spot.

We’re there too and are private firm nobodies and we… don’t care? At all? Is this really odd? I’m confused. It’s my kids school not a social club like wtf

No, you are normal. OP is the weirdo who thinks a private school buys parents a new friend group.

DP. You sound familiar. Do you realize your kids know how cruel you are and they tell their friends that they hate you? They actually talk about you this way because you are so cruel.

There is nothing wrong with OP wanting to feel comfortable at her kids' school. She is new and it is NORMAL for her to want to have parents that say hello and make small talk. She never once said she is trying to get into a certain social crowd. What I find interesting is that a guilty conscience needs no accuser rings true here because you seem to know that maybe you and your vapid group could possibly be who she is talking about?

+1. Why does sending your kid to a good school mean you are a social climber? OP can want to have cordial relationships with other parents — and not feel ostracized — and not be a social climber. Why should someone be nice and inclusive only because of where someone lives, works, and went to school?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:and I don't know what to do about it. It is a great school but I am miserable.My kids seem happy and that its what matters. I am miserable

Translation: I’m a striver and the rich cool parents haven’t invited me into their orbit. Sorry your social climbing scheme hasn’t worked. If you didn’t have a lot of rich outgoing friends before your kid went to private school — via your neighborhood, career, country club, college and private school alum network, travel sport circuit, church or synagogue — why would you have them now? You have nothing in common, you don’t speak their language, you don’t know so and so and so and so. And frankly, you’re delusional on what private school provides you as a parent. It doesn’t guarantee any parent some brand new social orbit. And anyone who goes in expecting or fishing for that is pegged a social climbing worm from the get-go.

Translation: I'm a horrible human being who will judge you based on your job, clothes, country club, friends, school. I am one of those moms who will give you my elevator pitch on where I went to college twenty years ago, every job I have had since then, and I'll be sure to let you know how rich I am. I am shallow and don't have much depth as a human being so when I see you don't have value you to me I'll ignore you and pretend you don't exist. But I sure am hell nice to people who I deem rich and worthy and you'll see me pandering and lollygagging around them. So if your neighborhood, career, country club, college and private school alumni network aren't up to mine don't bother talking to me.

Are you new here, sweetie? Welcome to Washington. Don’t act like some babe in the woods when you moved to the most ruthlessly competitive, superficial and status and power obsessed place in the Western Hemisphere. Then chose to send your kid to an even more stratified private school. As for OP, if nobody liked him/her before the kid was in private, why would they magically like them now? Nobody likes a thirsty low born interloper; especially a creepy 30, 40 or 50 something one (we’re a long ways from being teenagers first week of college). If you’re that hard up for a friend, go get a spaniel.

DP. Holy shit are you okay? You sound off the hinges psychotic and mean. Op never said no one disliked them before private. They are saying they want to feel welcome at their kids new private. I suspect you may be part of the group she is referring to and now you feel you need to defend yourself and attack op? Please be a better person.

Context is key. Dislike in this context doesn't mean disliked in general, in life, we are specifically referring to the pedigreed private school parents the striver OP seeks to orbit. The point is if OP is an outsider, not a peer or a mutual i.e. friend of a friend to this network of parents, why would she suddenly become fast friends with them just because her kid goes to school there? It is delusional. It is actually pretty wormy and creepy to think or hope that your kid's new school gives you a new group of higher status friends. And if OP's obsessed enough to make a thread crying about it, it certainly projects in real life, which makes her seem transparently pushy and sketchy to the very people she seeks to orbit. You only get one first impression, you know. Rich and powerful are pretty guarded. In Washington, you could be Project Veritas or some foreign spook for all they know. Or just a low born waste of their time. Sorry, only so many hours in a day.

I prefer to be a "low born waste of time." My relationships are real and I never worry that someone likes me because of some arbitrary external characteristic.

I assume you are intentionally misreading OP's original post in order to make yourself feel better. Is that because you know others only care about you because of your status? Or just because reading comprehension is not your thing?

Please get therapy.

The rest of us are busy building quality communities for our children through respecting each other and our differences.

We all know why OP craves to make fast friends with private school privates. For superficial, social climbing reasons. Private parents are seen as wealthier, more powerful, members of clubs, and more connected. So who's really the shallow one? It's not the parents at the school living their life, it's OP for even having this scheme in the first place. Most parents are too busy with life, too busy with their career, obsessing over making new friends at their kid's new school is not on their radar. When it is on your radar, as OP admits, it's weird and creepy. No surprise if parents at the new school see right through that. And if you've gone 40 something years without this caliber of friend group, what makes you entitled to it now? It's frankly delusional.

Please get help. I beg of you for your kids sake. Op never said she was looking for friends. For gods sakes. She just said she would like to meet some friendly fellow parents and feel welcomed into her kids new school. Please get help and I am so concerned for your kids.

You mean that previous post wasn’t satire? Pls tell me it was satire.

No it isn't. She actually talks like this in person after a few glasses of wine. She is demented and possibly borderline psychotic. She thinks she has arrived because she finally got into the country club she wanted to. I worry for her kids because there is something terribly wrong with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and I don't know what to do about it. It is a great school but I am miserable.My kids seem happy and that its what matters. I am miserable

Translation: I’m a striver and the rich cool parents haven’t invited me into their orbit. Sorry your social climbing scheme hasn’t worked. If you didn’t have a lot of rich outgoing friends before your kid went to private school — via your neighborhood, career, country club, college and private school alum network, travel sport circuit, church or synagogue — why would you have them now? You have nothing in common, you don’t speak their language, you don’t know so and so and so and so. And frankly, you’re delusional on what private school provides you as a parent. It doesn’t guarantee any parent some brand new social orbit. And anyone who goes in expecting or fishing for that is pegged a social climbing worm from the get-go.

Translation: I'm a horrible human being who will judge you based on your job, clothes, country club, friends, school. I am one of those moms who will give you my elevator pitch on where I went to college twenty years ago, every job I have had since then, and I'll be sure to let you know how rich I am. I am shallow and don't have much depth as a human being so when I see you don't have value you to me I'll ignore you and pretend you don't exist. But I sure am hell nice to people who I deem rich and worthy and you'll see me pandering and lollygagging around them. So if your neighborhood, career, country club, college and private school alumni network aren't up to mine don't bother talking to me.

Are you new here, sweetie? Welcome to Washington. Don’t act like some babe in the woods when you moved to the most ruthlessly competitive, superficial and status and power obsessed place in the Western Hemisphere. Then chose to send your kid to an even more stratified private school. As for OP, if nobody liked him/her before the kid was in private, why would they magically like them now? Nobody likes a thirsty low born interloper; especially a creepy 30, 40 or 50 something one (we’re a long ways from being teenagers first week of college). If you’re that hard up for a friend, go get a spaniel.

DP. Holy shit are you okay? You sound off the hinges psychotic and mean. Op never said no one disliked them before private. They are saying they want to feel welcome at their kids new private. I suspect you may be part of the group she is referring to and now you feel you need to defend yourself and attack op? Please be a better person.

Context is key. Dislike in this context doesn't mean disliked in general, in life, we are specifically referring to the pedigreed private school parents the striver OP seeks to orbit. The point is if OP is an outsider, not a peer or a mutual i.e. friend of a friend to this network of parents, why would she suddenly become fast friends with them just because her kid goes to school there? It is delusional. It is actually pretty wormy and creepy to think or hope that your kid's new school gives you a new group of higher status friends. And if OP's obsessed enough to make a thread crying about it, it certainly projects in real life, which makes her seem transparently pushy and sketchy to the very people she seeks to orbit. You only get one first impression, you know. Rich and powerful are pretty guarded. In Washington, you could be Project Veritas or some foreign spook for all they know. Or just a low born waste of their time. Sorry, only so many hours in a day.

You were obviously a nasty bully. The thing with bullies is that people remember you but with hatred and disgust. If you learned anything from high school, you never know where people or their kids will end up but you can be sure they will remember you and your kids.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:and I don't know what to do about it. It is a great school but I am miserable.My kids seem happy and that its what matters. I am miserable

Translation: I’m a striver and the rich cool parents haven’t invited me into their orbit. Sorry your social climbing scheme hasn’t worked. If you didn’t have a lot of rich outgoing friends before your kid went to private school — via your neighborhood, career, country club, college and private school alum network, travel sport circuit, church or synagogue — why would you have them now? You have nothing in common, you don’t speak their language, you don’t know so and so and so and so. And frankly, you’re delusional on what private school provides you as a parent. It doesn’t guarantee any parent some brand new social orbit. And anyone who goes in expecting or fishing for that is pegged a social climbing worm from the get-go.

Translation: I'm a horrible human being who will judge you based on your job, clothes, country club, friends, school. I am one of those moms who will give you my elevator pitch on where I went to college twenty years ago, every job I have had since then, and I'll be sure to let you know how rich I am. I am shallow and don't have much depth as a human being so when I see you don't have value you to me I'll ignore you and pretend you don't exist. But I sure am hell nice to people who I deem rich and worthy and you'll see me pandering and lollygagging around them. So if your neighborhood, career, country club, college and private school alumni network aren't up to mine don't bother talking to me.

Are you new here, sweetie? Welcome to Washington. Don’t act like some babe in the woods when you moved to the most ruthlessly competitive, superficial and status and power obsessed place in the Western Hemisphere. Then chose to send your kid to an even more stratified private school. As for OP, if nobody liked him/her before the kid was in private, why would they magically like them now? Nobody likes a thirsty low born interloper; especially a creepy 30, 40 or 50 something one (we’re a long ways from being teenagers first week of college). If you’re that hard up for a friend, go get a spaniel.

DP. Holy shit are you okay? You sound off the hinges psychotic and mean. Op never said no one disliked them before private. They are saying they want to feel welcome at their kids new private. I suspect you may be part of the group she is referring to and now you feel you need to defend yourself and attack op? Please be a better person.

Context is key. Dislike in this context doesn't mean disliked in general, in life, we are specifically referring to the pedigreed private school parents the striver OP seeks to orbit. The point is if OP is an outsider, not a peer or a mutual i.e. friend of a friend to this network of parents, why would she suddenly become fast friends with them just because her kid goes to school there? It is delusional. It is actually pretty wormy and creepy to think or hope that your kid's new school gives you a new group of higher status friends. And if OP's obsessed enough to make a thread crying about it, it certainly projects in real life, which makes her seem transparently pushy and sketchy to the very people she seeks to orbit. You only get one first impression, you know. Rich and powerful are pretty guarded. In Washington, you could be Project Veritas or some foreign spook for all they know. Or just a low born waste of their time. Sorry, only so many hours in a day.

I prefer to be a "low born waste of time." My relationships are real and I never worry that someone likes me because of some arbitrary external characteristic.

I assume you are intentionally misreading OP's original post in order to make yourself feel better. Is that because you know others only care about you because of your status? Or just because reading comprehension is not your thing?

Please get therapy.

The rest of us are busy building quality communities for our children through respecting each other and our differences.

We all know why OP craves to make fast friends with private school privates. For superficial, social climbing reasons. Private parents are seen as wealthier, more powerful, members of clubs, and more connected. So who's really the shallow one? It's not the parents at the school living their life, it's OP for even having this scheme in the first place. Most parents are too busy with life, too busy with their career, obsessing over making new friends at their kid's new school is not on their radar. When it is on your radar, as OP admits, it's weird and creepy. No surprise if parents at the new school see right through that. And if you've gone 40 something years without this caliber of friend group, what makes you entitled to it now? It's frankly delusional.

Please get help. I beg of you for your kids sake. Op never said she was looking for friends. For gods sakes. She just said she would like to meet some friendly fellow parents and feel welcomed into her kids new school. Please get help and I am so concerned for your kids.

You mean that previous post wasn’t satire? Pls tell me it was satire.

No it isn't. She actually talks like this in person after a few glasses of wine. She is demented and possibly borderline psychotic. She thinks she has arrived because she finally got into the country club she wanted to. I worry for her kids because there is something terribly wrong with her.

This. There are a few people that use these actual words and love the phrase striver and speak this way very publicly. I wish they would stop posting for their kids sake because their language is very identifiable. The thing is neither of them present as being elite in person. They present as being sort of trashy and lower class. I don't know what their background is but it does not seem to make a difference in how they appear upon meeting them as they seem lower class in the way they conduct themselves and their language so I don't know why they are judging others as not being in their caliber because they are anything but elite.

I would rather have lunch with the OP any day of the week and I can attest my other DC private school parent friends would as well. BTW we are multi millionaires and are friendly to all families in our grade and consider everyone to be equals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and I don't know what to do about it. It is a great school but I am miserable.My kids seem happy and that its what matters. I am miserable

Translation: I’m a striver and the rich cool parents haven’t invited me into their orbit. Sorry your social climbing scheme hasn’t worked. If you didn’t have a lot of rich outgoing friends before your kid went to private school — via your neighborhood, career, country club, college and private school alum network, travel sport circuit, church or synagogue — why would you have them now? You have nothing in common, you don’t speak their language, you don’t know so and so and so and so. And frankly, you’re delusional on what private school provides you as a parent. It doesn’t guarantee any parent some brand new social orbit. And anyone who goes in expecting or fishing for that is pegged a social climbing worm from the get-go.

Translation: I'm a horrible human being who will judge you based on your job, clothes, country club, friends, school. I am one of those moms who will give you my elevator pitch on where I went to college twenty years ago, every job I have had since then, and I'll be sure to let you know how rich I am. I am shallow and don't have much depth as a human being so when I see you don't have value you to me I'll ignore you and pretend you don't exist. But I sure am hell nice to people who I deem rich and worthy and you'll see me pandering and lollygagging around them. So if your neighborhood, career, country club, college and private school alumni network aren't up to mine don't bother talking to me.

Are you new here, sweetie? Welcome to Washington. Don’t act like some babe in the woods when you moved to the most ruthlessly competitive, superficial and status and power obsessed place in the Western Hemisphere. Then chose to send your kid to an even more stratified private school. As for OP, if nobody liked him/her before the kid was in private, why would they magically like them now? Nobody likes a thirsty low born interloper; especially a creepy 30, 40 or 50 something one (we’re a long ways from being teenagers first week of college). If you’re that hard up for a friend, go get a spaniel.

DP. Holy shit are you okay? You sound off the hinges psychotic and mean. Op never said no one disliked them before private. They are saying they want to feel welcome at their kids new private. I suspect you may be part of the group she is referring to and now you feel you need to defend yourself and attack op? Please be a better person.

Context is key. Dislike in this context doesn't mean disliked in general, in life, we are specifically referring to the pedigreed private school parents the striver OP seeks to orbit. The point is if OP is an outsider, not a peer or a mutual i.e. friend of a friend to this network of parents, why would she suddenly become fast friends with them just because her kid goes to school there? It is delusional. It is actually pretty wormy and creepy to think or hope that your kid's new school gives you a new group of higher status friends. And if OP's obsessed enough to make a thread crying about it, it certainly projects in real life, which makes her seem transparently pushy and sketchy to the very people she seeks to orbit. You only get one first impression, you know. Rich and powerful are pretty guarded. In Washington, you could be Project Veritas or some foreign spook for all they know. Or just a low born waste of their time. Sorry, only so many hours in a day.[/quote
We are a at a Big 3 and honestly I can't think of anyone who is considered to be powerful or even that rich with the exception of maybe 2 families and they are quite nice. They are rich for DC but in NY would be middle of the road.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:and I don't know what to do about it. It is a great school but I am miserable.My kids seem happy and that its what matters. I am miserable

Cool outgoing rich parents come to you. They size you up pretty quickly and invite you into their circle if they deem you a peer. They can glance at your LinkedIn and Facebook for 30 seconds to see the friends you have in common, where you went to college, where you work, and where you live. Zillow stalking takes another 30 seconds. I'm afraid they don't see you as being on their level. But it sounds like your kids are having better luck and that's what it's all about, right?

We are nobodies (feds in a small house with no social cred) and our kids are at the Cathedral schools. IME some of the most connected, wealthiest parents are actually the nicest and most inclusive. It's the strivers (who are far more like us on paper then they'd ever admit) that can be mean.
It's a tale as old as time. If you've really "made it" then you're free to be nice to the small people--many of whom are actually very interesting people. If you're continually clawing and insecure you're often preoccupied by who else may move into your spot.

We’re there too and are private firm nobodies and we… don’t care? At all? Is this really odd? I’m confused. It’s my kids school not a social club like wtf

No, you are normal. OP is the weirdo who thinks a private school buys parents a new friend group.

DP. You sound familiar. Do you realize your kids know how cruel you are and they tell their friends that they hate you? They actually talk about you this way because you are so cruel.

There is nothing wrong with OP wanting to feel comfortable at her kids' school. She is new and it is NORMAL for her to want to have parents that say hello and make small talk. She never once said she is trying to get into a certain social crowd. What I find interesting is that a guilty conscience needs no accuser rings true here because you seem to know that maybe you and your vapid group could possibly be who she is talking about?

Oy vey, we can all read between the lines. People obviously smile and nod to her. She made this thread because she feels entitled to more, which is weird and striver-ish. Tuition doesn’t also include a handful of new best friends for the parents. She and her husband should already have friends, and not be so thirsty to make new ones. Their thirst comes from the desire to social climb. Unless you’re some rich or powerful family who just moved to the area, if you don’t already know at least one and/or have any mutual friends with these parents at the new school, you’re never going to be friends with them. You are seen a non-entity. You’ve been in Washington for XX years and don’t have any mutual friends, don’t run in the same circles… you’ve been socially sorted long before you applied to this school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:and I don't know what to do about it. It is a great school but I am miserable.My kids seem happy and that its what matters. I am miserable

Translation: I’m a striver and the rich cool parents haven’t invited me into their orbit. Sorry your social climbing scheme hasn’t worked. If you didn’t have a lot of rich outgoing friends before your kid went to private school — via your neighborhood, career, country club, college and private school alum network, travel sport circuit, church or synagogue — why would you have them now? You have nothing in common, you don’t speak their language, you don’t know so and so and so and so. And frankly, you’re delusional on what private school provides you as a parent. It doesn’t guarantee any parent some brand new social orbit. And anyone who goes in expecting or fishing for that is pegged a social climbing worm from the get-go.

Translation: I'm a horrible human being who will judge you based on your job, clothes, country club, friends, school. I am one of those moms who will give you my elevator pitch on where I went to college twenty years ago, every job I have had since then, and I'll be sure to let you know how rich I am. I am shallow and don't have much depth as a human being so when I see you don't have value you to me I'll ignore you and pretend you don't exist. But I sure am hell nice to people who I deem rich and worthy and you'll see me pandering and lollygagging around them. So if your neighborhood, career, country club, college and private school alumni network aren't up to mine don't bother talking to me.

Are you new here, sweetie? Welcome to Washington. Don’t act like some babe in the woods when you moved to the most ruthlessly competitive, superficial and status and power obsessed place in the Western Hemisphere. Then chose to send your kid to an even more stratified private school. As for OP, if nobody liked him/her before the kid was in private, why would they magically like them now? Nobody likes a thirsty low born interloper; especially a creepy 30, 40 or 50 something one (we’re a long ways from being teenagers first week of college). If you’re that hard up for a friend, go get a spaniel.

DP. Holy shit are you okay? You sound off the hinges psychotic and mean. Op never said no one disliked them before private. They are saying they want to feel welcome at their kids new private. I suspect you may be part of the group she is referring to and now you feel you need to defend yourself and attack op? Please be a better person.

Context is key. Dislike in this context doesn't mean disliked in general, in life, we are specifically referring to the pedigreed private school parents the striver OP seeks to orbit. The point is if OP is an outsider, not a peer or a mutual i.e. friend of a friend to this network of parents, why would she suddenly become fast friends with them just because her kid goes to school there? It is delusional. It is actually pretty wormy and creepy to think or hope that your kid's new school gives you a new group of higher status friends. And if OP's obsessed enough to make a thread crying about it, it certainly projects in real life, which makes her seem transparently pushy and sketchy to the very people she seeks to orbit. You only get one first impression, you know. Rich and powerful are pretty guarded. In Washington, you could be Project Veritas or some foreign spook for all they know. Or just a low born waste of their time. Sorry, only so many hours in a day.

I prefer to be a "low born waste of time." My relationships are real and I never worry that someone likes me because of some arbitrary external characteristic.

I assume you are intentionally misreading OP's original post in order to make yourself feel better. Is that because you know others only care about you because of your status? Or just because reading comprehension is not your thing?

Please get therapy.

The rest of us are busy building quality communities for our children through respecting each other and our differences.

We all know why OP craves to make fast friends with private school privates. For superficial, social climbing reasons. Private parents are seen as wealthier, more powerful, members of clubs, and more connected. So who's really the shallow one? It's not the parents at the school living their life, it's OP for even having this scheme in the first place. Most parents are too busy with life, too busy with their career, obsessing over making new friends at their kid's new school is not on their radar. When it is on your radar, as OP admits, it's weird and creepy. No surprise if parents at the new school see right through that. And if you've gone 40 something years without this caliber of friend group, what makes you entitled to it now? It's frankly delusional.

Please get help. I beg of you for your kids sake. Op never said she was looking for friends. For gods sakes. She just said she would like to meet some friendly fellow parents and feel welcomed into her kids new school. Please get help and I am so concerned for your kids.

You mean that previous post wasn’t satire? Pls tell me it was satire.

No it isn't. She actually talks like this in person after a few glasses of wine. She is demented and possibly borderline psychotic. She thinks she has arrived because she finally got into the country club she wanted to. I worry for her kids because there is something terribly wrong with her.

This. There are a few people that use these actual words and love the phrase striver and speak this way very publicly. I wish they would stop posting for their kids sake because their language is very identifiable. The thing is neither of them present as being elite in person. They present as being sort of trashy and lower class. I don't know what their background is but it does not seem to make a difference in how they appear upon meeting them as they seem lower class in the way they conduct themselves and their language so I don't know why they are judging others as not being in their caliber because they are anything but elite.

I would rather have lunch with the OP any day of the week and I can attest my other DC private school parent friends would as well. BTW we are multi millionaires and are friendly to all families in our grade and consider everyone to be equals.

It’s not about being equals or thinking you’re better than anyone. It’s just not being hard up to make new friends if you’re not new to the area. When someone is middle aged and thirsty to make friends and “network” at a private school, it’s not only tacky, it reeks of inauthentic and wormy interloper. You’re not already friends or friends of friends with these people (prior to attending) because you have nothing in common. Your kid going to their kids’ school doesn’t really change that. And a lot of tight parent groups at private schools are people who’ve known each other for decades; kids are lifer legacies, they play the same travel sports, parents live in the same neighborhoods, work along side each other, many attended the same handful of colleges. A brand new rando is unlikely to penetrate that orbit unless you’re brand new to the region and have some status. If you’re not new to the area, everyone will rightfully assume you’ve been socially sorted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and I don't know what to do about it. It is a great school but I am miserable.My kids seem happy and that its what matters. I am miserable

Translation: I’m a striver and the rich cool parents haven’t invited me into their orbit. Sorry your social climbing scheme hasn’t worked. If you didn’t have a lot of rich outgoing friends before your kid went to private school — via your neighborhood, career, country club, college and private school alum network, travel sport circuit, church or synagogue — why would you have them now? You have nothing in common, you don’t speak their language, you don’t know so and so and so and so. And frankly, you’re delusional on what private school provides you as a parent. It doesn’t guarantee any parent some brand new social orbit. And anyone who goes in expecting or fishing for that is pegged a social climbing worm from the get-go.

Translation: I'm a horrible human being who will judge you based on your job, clothes, country club, friends, school. I am one of those moms who will give you my elevator pitch on where I went to college twenty years ago, every job I have had since then, and I'll be sure to let you know how rich I am. I am shallow and don't have much depth as a human being so when I see you don't have value you to me I'll ignore you and pretend you don't exist. But I sure am hell nice to people who I deem rich and worthy and you'll see me pandering and lollygagging around them. So if your neighborhood, career, country club, college and private school alumni network aren't up to mine don't bother talking to me.

Are you new here, sweetie? Welcome to Washington. Don’t act like some babe in the woods when you moved to the most ruthlessly competitive, superficial and status and power obsessed place in the Western Hemisphere. Then chose to send your kid to an even more stratified private school. As for OP, if nobody liked him/her before the kid was in private, why would they magically like them now? Nobody likes a thirsty low born interloper; especially a creepy 30, 40 or 50 something one (we’re a long ways from being teenagers first week of college). If you’re that hard up for a friend, go get a spaniel.

DP. Holy shit are you okay? You sound off the hinges psychotic and mean. Op never said no one disliked them before private. They are saying they want to feel welcome at their kids new private. I suspect you may be part of the group she is referring to and now you feel you need to defend yourself and attack op? Please be a better person.

Context is key. Dislike in this context doesn't mean disliked in general, in life, we are specifically referring to the pedigreed private school parents the striver OP seeks to orbit. The point is if OP is an outsider, not a peer or a mutual i.e. friend of a friend to this network of parents, why would she suddenly become fast friends with them just because her kid goes to school there? It is delusional. It is actually pretty wormy and creepy to think or hope that your kid's new school gives you a new group of higher status friends. And if OP's obsessed enough to make a thread crying about it, it certainly projects in real life, which makes her seem transparently pushy and sketchy to the very people she seeks to orbit. You only get one first impression, you know. Rich and powerful are pretty guarded. In Washington, you could be Project Veritas or some foreign spook for all they know. Or just a low born waste of their time. Sorry, only so many hours in a day.

I prefer to be a "low born waste of time." My relationships are real and I never worry that someone likes me because of some arbitrary external characteristic.

I assume you are intentionally misreading OP's original post in order to make yourself feel better. Is that because you know others only care about you because of your status? Or just because reading comprehension is not your thing?

Please get therapy.

The rest of us are busy building quality communities for our children through respecting each other and our differences.

We all know why OP craves to make fast friends with private school privates. For superficial, social climbing reasons. Private parents are seen as wealthier, more powerful, members of clubs, and more connected. So who's really the shallow one? It's not the parents at the school living their life, it's OP for even having this scheme in the first place. Most parents are too busy with life, too busy with their career, obsessing over making new friends at their kid's new school is not on their radar. When it is on your radar, as OP admits, it's weird and creepy. No surprise if parents at the new school see right through that. And if you've gone 40 something years without this caliber of friend group, what makes you entitled to it now? It's frankly delusional.

Please get help. I beg of you for your kids sake. Op never said she was looking for friends. For gods sakes. She just said she would like to meet some friendly fellow parents and feel welcomed into her kids new school. Please get help and I am so concerned for your kids.

You mean that previous post wasn’t satire? Pls tell me it was satire.

No it isn't. She actually talks like this in person after a few glasses of wine. She is demented and possibly borderline psychotic. She thinks she has arrived because she finally got into the country club she wanted to. I worry for her kids because there is something terribly wrong with her.

This. There are a few people that use these actual words and love the phrase striver and speak this way very publicly. I wish they would stop posting for their kids sake because their language is very identifiable. The thing is neither of them present as being elite in person. They present as being sort of trashy and lower class. I don't know what their background is but it does not seem to make a difference in how they appear upon meeting them as they seem lower class in the way they conduct themselves and their language so I don't know why they are judging others as not being in their caliber because they are anything but elite.

I would rather have lunch with the OP any day of the week and I can attest my other DC private school parent friends would as well. BTW we are multi millionaires and are friendly to all families in our grade and consider everyone to be equals.

Surely, this one is satire.

All this talk of class plus the standard disclaimer of being wealthy (of course) but just so gosh darn down to earth.

Satire, yes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and I don't know what to do about it. It is a great school but I am miserable.My kids seem happy and that its what matters. I am miserable

Translation: I’m a striver and the rich cool parents haven’t invited me into their orbit. Sorry your social climbing scheme hasn’t worked. If you didn’t have a lot of rich outgoing friends before your kid went to private school — via your neighborhood, career, country club, college and private school alum network, travel sport circuit, church or synagogue — why would you have them now? You have nothing in common, you don’t speak their language, you don’t know so and so and so and so. And frankly, you’re delusional on what private school provides you as a parent. It doesn’t guarantee any parent some brand new social orbit. And anyone who goes in expecting or fishing for that is pegged a social climbing worm from the get-go.

Translation: I'm a horrible human being who will judge you based on your job, clothes, country club, friends, school. I am one of those moms who will give you my elevator pitch on where I went to college twenty years ago, every job I have had since then, and I'll be sure to let you know how rich I am. I am shallow and don't have much depth as a human being so when I see you don't have value you to me I'll ignore you and pretend you don't exist. But I sure am hell nice to people who I deem rich and worthy and you'll see me pandering and lollygagging around them. So if your neighborhood, career, country club, college and private school alumni network aren't up to mine don't bother talking to me.

Are you new here, sweetie? Welcome to Washington. Don’t act like some babe in the woods when you moved to the most ruthlessly competitive, superficial and status and power obsessed place in the Western Hemisphere. Then chose to send your kid to an even more stratified private school. As for OP, if nobody liked him/her before the kid was in private, why would they magically like them now? Nobody likes a thirsty low born interloper; especially a creepy 30, 40 or 50 something one (we’re a long ways from being teenagers first week of college). If you’re that hard up for a friend, go get a spaniel.

DP. Holy shit are you okay? You sound off the hinges psychotic and mean. Op never said no one disliked them before private. They are saying they want to feel welcome at their kids new private. I suspect you may be part of the group she is referring to and now you feel you need to defend yourself and attack op? Please be a better person.

Context is key. Dislike in this context doesn't mean disliked in general, in life, we are specifically referring to the pedigreed private school parents the striver OP seeks to orbit. The point is if OP is an outsider, not a peer or a mutual i.e. friend of a friend to this network of parents, why would she suddenly become fast friends with them just because her kid goes to school there? It is delusional. It is actually pretty wormy and creepy to think or hope that your kid's new school gives you a new group of higher status friends. And if OP's obsessed enough to make a thread crying about it, it certainly projects in real life, which makes her seem transparently pushy and sketchy to the very people she seeks to orbit. You only get one first impression, you know. Rich and powerful are pretty guarded. In Washington, you could be Project Veritas or some foreign spook for all they know. Or just a low born waste of their time. Sorry, only so many hours in a day.

I prefer to be a "low born waste of time." My relationships are real and I never worry that someone likes me because of some arbitrary external characteristic.

I assume you are intentionally misreading OP's original post in order to make yourself feel better. Is that because you know others only care about you because of your status? Or just because reading comprehension is not your thing?

Please get therapy.

The rest of us are busy building quality communities for our children through respecting each other and our differences.

We all know why OP craves to make fast friends with private school privates. For superficial, social climbing reasons. Private parents are seen as wealthier, more powerful, members of clubs, and more connected. So who's really the shallow one? It's not the parents at the school living their life, it's OP for even having this scheme in the first place. Most parents are too busy with life, too busy with their career, obsessing over making new friends at their kid's new school is not on their radar. When it is on your radar, as OP admits, it's weird and creepy. No surprise if parents at the new school see right through that. And if you've gone 40 something years without this caliber of friend group, what makes you entitled to it now? It's frankly delusional.

Please get help. I beg of you for your kids sake. Op never said she was looking for friends. For gods sakes. She just said she would like to meet some friendly fellow parents and feel welcomed into her kids new school. Please get help and I am so concerned for your kids.

You mean that previous post wasn’t satire? Pls tell me it was satire.

No it isn't. She actually talks like this in person after a few glasses of wine. She is demented and possibly borderline psychotic. She thinks she has arrived because she finally got into the country club she wanted to. I worry for her kids because there is something terribly wrong with her.

This. There are a few people that use these actual words and love the phrase striver and speak this way very publicly. I wish they would stop posting for their kids sake because their language is very identifiable. The thing is neither of them present as being elite in person. They present as being sort of trashy and lower class. I don't know what their background is but it does not seem to make a difference in how they appear upon meeting them as they seem lower class in the way they conduct themselves and their language so I don't know why they are judging others as not being in their caliber because they are anything but elite.

I would rather have lunch with the OP any day of the week and I can attest my other DC private school parent friends would as well. BTW we are multi millionaires and are friendly to all families in our grade and consider everyone to be equals.

It’s not about being equals or thinking you’re better than anyone. It’s just not being hard up to make new friends if you’re not new to the area. When someone is middle aged and thirsty to make friends and “network” at a private school, it’s not only tacky, it reeks of inauthentic and wormy interloper. You’re not already friends or friends of friends with these people (prior to attending) because you have nothing in common. Your kid going to their kids’ school doesn’t really change that. And a lot of tight parent groups at private schools are people who’ve known each other for decades; kids are lifer legacies, they play the same travel sports, parents live in the same neighborhoods, work along side each other, many attended the same handful of colleges. A brand new rando is unlikely to penetrate that orbit unless you’re brand new to the region and have some status. If you’re not new to the area, everyone will rightfully assume you’ve been socially sorted.

This is so untrue. You are a total wack job. No wonder your kid hates you. Yes they tell everyone they hate you and that you are evil and now I can see why.

My kids are lifers so we have friends that go all the way back to prek but I can say we have also been fortunate to make some new friends too that came in in later years and we did not have any friends in common but mutually clicked and like each other and our kids are friends. You are so demented it is scary. I think your comments should be sent to your school and to all future colleges your child is applying to because your posts are concerning and I would think would be poisonous to a school community and they have a right to know that you consider new parents not in your circle to be “randos.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and I don't know what to do about it. It is a great school but I am miserable.My kids seem happy and that its what matters. I am miserable

Translation: I’m a striver and the rich cool parents haven’t invited me into their orbit. Sorry your social climbing scheme hasn’t worked. If you didn’t have a lot of rich outgoing friends before your kid went to private school — via your neighborhood, career, country club, college and private school alum network, travel sport circuit, church or synagogue — why would you have them now? You have nothing in common, you don’t speak their language, you don’t know so and so and so and so. And frankly, you’re delusional on what private school provides you as a parent. It doesn’t guarantee any parent some brand new social orbit. And anyone who goes in expecting or fishing for that is pegged a social climbing worm from the get-go.

Translation: I'm a horrible human being who will judge you based on your job, clothes, country club, friends, school. I am one of those moms who will give you my elevator pitch on where I went to college twenty years ago, every job I have had since then, and I'll be sure to let you know how rich I am. I am shallow and don't have much depth as a human being so when I see you don't have value you to me I'll ignore you and pretend you don't exist. But I sure am hell nice to people who I deem rich and worthy and you'll see me pandering and lollygagging around them. So if your neighborhood, career, country club, college and private school alumni network aren't up to mine don't bother talking to me.

Are you new here, sweetie? Welcome to Washington. Don’t act like some babe in the woods when you moved to the most ruthlessly competitive, superficial and status and power obsessed place in the Western Hemisphere. Then chose to send your kid to an even more stratified private school. As for OP, if nobody liked him/her before the kid was in private, why would they magically like them now? Nobody likes a thirsty low born interloper; especially a creepy 30, 40 or 50 something one (we’re a long ways from being teenagers first week of college). If you’re that hard up for a friend, go get a spaniel.

DP. Holy shit are you okay? You sound off the hinges psychotic and mean. Op never said no one disliked them before private. They are saying they want to feel welcome at their kids new private. I suspect you may be part of the group she is referring to and now you feel you need to defend yourself and attack op? Please be a better person.

Context is key. Dislike in this context doesn't mean disliked in general, in life, we are specifically referring to the pedigreed private school parents the striver OP seeks to orbit. The point is if OP is an outsider, not a peer or a mutual i.e. friend of a friend to this network of parents, why would she suddenly become fast friends with them just because her kid goes to school there? It is delusional. It is actually pretty wormy and creepy to think or hope that your kid's new school gives you a new group of higher status friends. And if OP's obsessed enough to make a thread crying about it, it certainly projects in real life, which makes her seem transparently pushy and sketchy to the very people she seeks to orbit. You only get one first impression, you know. Rich and powerful are pretty guarded. In Washington, you could be Project Veritas or some foreign spook for all they know. Or just a low born waste of their time. Sorry, only so many hours in a day.

I prefer to be a "low born waste of time." My relationships are real and I never worry that someone likes me because of some arbitrary external characteristic.

I assume you are intentionally misreading OP's original post in order to make yourself feel better. Is that because you know others only care about you because of your status? Or just because reading comprehension is not your thing?

Please get therapy.

The rest of us are busy building quality communities for our children through respecting each other and our differences.

We all know why OP craves to make fast friends with private school privates. For superficial, social climbing reasons. Private parents are seen as wealthier, more powerful, members of clubs, and more connected. So who's really the shallow one? It's not the parents at the school living their life, it's OP for even having this scheme in the first place. Most parents are too busy with life, too busy with their career, obsessing over making new friends at their kid's new school is not on their radar. When it is on your radar, as OP admits, it's weird and creepy. No surprise if parents at the new school see right through that. And if you've gone 40 something years without this caliber of friend group, what makes you entitled to it now? It's frankly delusional.

Please get help. I beg of you for your kids sake. Op never said she was looking for friends. For gods sakes. She just said she would like to meet some friendly fellow parents and feel welcomed into her kids new school. Please get help and I am so concerned for your kids.

You mean that previous post wasn’t satire? Pls tell me it was satire.

No it isn't. She actually talks like this in person after a few glasses of wine. She is demented and possibly borderline psychotic. She thinks she has arrived because she finally got into the country club she wanted to. I worry for her kids because there is something terribly wrong with her.

This. There are a few people that use these actual words and love the phrase striver and speak this way very publicly. I wish they would stop posting for their kids sake because their language is very identifiable. The thing is neither of them present as being elite in person. They present as being sort of trashy and lower class. I don't know what their background is but it does not seem to make a difference in how they appear upon meeting them as they seem lower class in the way they conduct themselves and their language so I don't know why they are judging others as not being in their caliber because they are anything but elite.

I would rather have lunch with the OP any day of the week and I can attest my other DC private school parent friends would as well. BTW we are multi millionaires and are friendly to all families in our grade and consider everyone to be equals.

It’s not about being equals or thinking you’re better than anyone. It’s just not being hard up to make new friends if you’re not new to the area. When someone is middle aged and thirsty to make friends and “network” at a private school, it’s not only tacky, it reeks of inauthentic and wormy interloper. You’re not already friends or friends of friends with these people (prior to attending) because you have nothing in common. Your kid going to their kids’ school doesn’t really change that. And a lot of tight parent groups at private schools are people who’ve known each other for decades; kids are lifer legacies, they play the same travel sports, parents live in the same neighborhoods, work along side each other, many attended the same handful of colleges. A brand new rando is unlikely to penetrate that orbit unless you’re brand new to the region and have some status. If you’re not new to the area, everyone will rightfully assume you’ve been socially sorted.

“Socially sorted?” Is this a joke? Please get some help and get it fast. You sound unstable to the point that I am now worried for you and your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and I don't know what to do about it. It is a great school but I am miserable.My kids seem happy and that its what matters. I am miserable

Translation: I’m a striver and the rich cool parents haven’t invited me into their orbit. Sorry your social climbing scheme hasn’t worked. If you didn’t have a lot of rich outgoing friends before your kid went to private school — via your neighborhood, career, country club, college and private school alum network, travel sport circuit, church or synagogue — why would you have them now? You have nothing in common, you don’t speak their language, you don’t know so and so and so and so. And frankly, you’re delusional on what private school provides you as a parent. It doesn’t guarantee any parent some brand new social orbit. And anyone who goes in expecting or fishing for that is pegged a social climbing worm from the get-go.

Translation: I'm a horrible human being who will judge you based on your job, clothes, country club, friends, school. I am one of those moms who will give you my elevator pitch on where I went to college twenty years ago, every job I have had since then, and I'll be sure to let you know how rich I am. I am shallow and don't have much depth as a human being so when I see you don't have value you to me I'll ignore you and pretend you don't exist. But I sure am hell nice to people who I deem rich and worthy and you'll see me pandering and lollygagging around them. So if your neighborhood, career, country club, college and private school alumni network aren't up to mine don't bother talking to me.

Are you new here, sweetie? Welcome to Washington. Don’t act like some babe in the woods when you moved to the most ruthlessly competitive, superficial and status and power obsessed place in the Western Hemisphere. Then chose to send your kid to an even more stratified private school. As for OP, if nobody liked him/her before the kid was in private, why would they magically like them now? Nobody likes a thirsty low born interloper; especially a creepy 30, 40 or 50 something one (we’re a long ways from being teenagers first week of college). If you’re that hard up for a friend, go get a spaniel.

DP. Holy shit are you okay? You sound off the hinges psychotic and mean. Op never said no one disliked them before private. They are saying they want to feel welcome at their kids new private. I suspect you may be part of the group she is referring to and now you feel you need to defend yourself and attack op? Please be a better person.

Context is key. Dislike in this context doesn't mean disliked in general, in life, we are specifically referring to the pedigreed private school parents the striver OP seeks to orbit. The point is if OP is an outsider, not a peer or a mutual i.e. friend of a friend to this network of parents, why would she suddenly become fast friends with them just because her kid goes to school there? It is delusional. It is actually pretty wormy and creepy to think or hope that your kid's new school gives you a new group of higher status friends. And if OP's obsessed enough to make a thread crying about it, it certainly projects in real life, which makes her seem transparently pushy and sketchy to the very people she seeks to orbit. You only get one first impression, you know. Rich and powerful are pretty guarded. In Washington, you could be Project Veritas or some foreign spook for all they know. Or just a low born waste of their time. Sorry, only so many hours in a day.

I prefer to be a "low born waste of time." My relationships are real and I never worry that someone likes me because of some arbitrary external characteristic.

I assume you are intentionally misreading OP's original post in order to make yourself feel better. Is that because you know others only care about you because of your status? Or just because reading comprehension is not your thing?

Please get therapy.

The rest of us are busy building quality communities for our children through respecting each other and our differences.

We all know why OP craves to make fast friends with private school privates. For superficial, social climbing reasons. Private parents are seen as wealthier, more powerful, members of clubs, and more connected. So who's really the shallow one? It's not the parents at the school living their life, it's OP for even having this scheme in the first place. Most parents are too busy with life, too busy with their career, obsessing over making new friends at their kid's new school is not on their radar. When it is on your radar, as OP admits, it's weird and creepy. No surprise if parents at the new school see right through that. And if you've gone 40 something years without this caliber of friend group, what makes you entitled to it now? It's frankly delusional.

Please get help. I beg of you for your kids sake. Op never said she was looking for friends. For gods sakes. She just said she would like to meet some friendly fellow parents and feel welcomed into her kids new school. Please get help and I am so concerned for your kids.

You mean that previous post wasn’t satire? Pls tell me it was satire.

No it isn't. She actually talks like this in person after a few glasses of wine. She is demented and possibly borderline psychotic. She thinks she has arrived because she finally got into the country club she wanted to. I worry for her kids because there is something terribly wrong with her.

This. There are a few people that use these actual words and love the phrase striver and speak this way very publicly. I wish they would stop posting for their kids sake because their language is very identifiable. The thing is neither of them present as being elite in person. They present as being sort of trashy and lower class. I don't know what their background is but it does not seem to make a difference in how they appear upon meeting them as they seem lower class in the way they conduct themselves and their language so I don't know why they are judging others as not being in their caliber because they are anything but elite.

I would rather have lunch with the OP any day of the week and I can attest my other DC private school parent friends would as well. BTW we are multi millionaires and are friendly to all families in our grade and consider everyone to be equals.

Surely, this one is satire.

All this talk of class plus the standard disclaimer of being wealthy (of course) but just so gosh darn down to earth.

Satire, yes?

PP is totally an old money private school mum who takes apartment dweller financial aid parents to lunch at The Palm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and I don't know what to do about it. It is a great school but I am miserable.My kids seem happy and that its what matters. I am miserable

Cool outgoing rich parents come to you. They size you up pretty quickly and invite you into their circle if they deem you a peer. They can glance at your LinkedIn and Facebook for 30 seconds to see the friends you have in common, where you went to college, where you work, and where you live. Zillow stalking takes another 30 seconds. I'm afraid they don't see you as being on their level. But it sounds like your kids are having better luck and that's what it's all about, right?

We are nobodies (feds in a small house with no social cred) and our kids are at the Cathedral schools. IME some of the most connected, wealthiest parents are actually the nicest and most inclusive. It's the strivers (who are far more like us on paper then they'd ever admit) that can be mean.
It's a tale as old as time. If you've really "made it" then you're free to be nice to the small people--many of whom are actually very interesting people. If you're continually clawing and insecure you're often preoccupied by who else may move into your spot.

We’re there too and are private firm nobodies and we… don’t care? At all? Is this really odd? I’m confused. It’s my kids school not a social club like wtf

No, you are normal. OP is the weirdo who thinks a private school buys parents a new friend group.

DP. You sound familiar. Do you realize your kids know how cruel you are and they tell their friends that they hate you? They actually talk about you this way because you are so cruel.

There is nothing wrong with OP wanting to feel comfortable at her kids' school. She is new and it is NORMAL for her to want to have parents that say hello and make small talk. She never once said she is trying to get into a certain social crowd. What I find interesting is that a guilty conscience needs no accuser rings true here because you seem to know that maybe you and your vapid group could possibly be who she is talking about?

Oy vey, we can all read between the lines. People obviously smile and nod to her. She made this thread because she feels entitled to more, which is weird and striver-ish. Tuition doesn’t also include a handful of new best friends for the parents. She and her husband should already have friends, and not be so thirsty to make new ones. Their thirst comes from the desire to social climb. Unless you’re some rich or powerful family who just moved to the area, if you don’t already know at least one and/or have any mutual friends with these parents at the new school, you’re never going to be friends with them. You are seen a non-entity. You’ve been in Washington for XX years and don’t have any mutual friends, don’t run in the same circles… you’ve been socially sorted long before you applied to this school.

NP, this PP is off. Such a sad weirdo.
Good luck staying away from people like this PP, OP.
I think you are not a "striver" for wanting people to have basic social skills and to know how to be welcoming to newcomers in general.
I think this PP is probably a high social climber themselves, that's why they think everyone else is...

[Anonymous]

If you’ve been in the area for 10 plus years and we don’t either already know each other or have several mutual acquaintances, I’m frankly not interested in a new friend. Nothing personal. And if you act pushy and elbowy, I’ll cease even acknowledging you with smiles and nods at pickup and matches. Back off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’ve been in the area for 10 plus years and we don’t either already know each other or have several mutual acquaintances, I’m frankly not interested in a new friend. Nothing personal. And if you act pushy and elbowy, I’ll cease even acknowledging you with smiles and nods at pickup and matches. Back off.

Pushy and elbowy? What. Lol lady you are wild.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and I don't know what to do about it. It is a great school but I am miserable.My kids seem happy and that its what matters. I am miserable

Translation: I’m a striver and the rich cool parents haven’t invited me into their orbit. Sorry your social climbing scheme hasn’t worked. If you didn’t have a lot of rich outgoing friends before your kid went to private school — via your neighborhood, career, country club, college and private school alum network, travel sport circuit, church or synagogue — why would you have them now? You have nothing in common, you don’t speak their language, you don’t know so and so and so and so. And frankly, you’re delusional on what private school provides you as a parent. It doesn’t guarantee any parent some brand new social orbit. And anyone who goes in expecting or fishing for that is pegged a social climbing worm from the get-go.

Translation: I'm a horrible human being who will judge you based on your job, clothes, country club, friends, school. I am one of those moms who will give you my elevator pitch on where I went to college twenty years ago, every job I have had since then, and I'll be sure to let you know how rich I am. I am shallow and don't have much depth as a human being so when I see you don't have value you to me I'll ignore you and pretend you don't exist. But I sure am hell nice to people who I deem rich and worthy and you'll see me pandering and lollygagging around them. So if your neighborhood, career, country club, college and private school alumni network aren't up to mine don't bother talking to me.

Are you new here, sweetie? Welcome to Washington. Don’t act like some babe in the woods when you moved to the most ruthlessly competitive, superficial and status and power obsessed place in the Western Hemisphere. Then chose to send your kid to an even more stratified private school. As for OP, if nobody liked him/her before the kid was in private, why would they magically like them now? Nobody likes a thirsty low born interloper; especially a creepy 30, 40 or 50 something one (we’re a long ways from being teenagers first week of college). If you’re that hard up for a friend, go get a spaniel.

DP. Holy shit are you okay? You sound off the hinges psychotic and mean. Op never said no one disliked them before private. They are saying they want to feel welcome at their kids new private. I suspect you may be part of the group she is referring to and now you feel you need to defend yourself and attack op? Please be a better person.

Context is key. Dislike in this context doesn't mean disliked in general, in life, we are specifically referring to the pedigreed private school parents the striver OP seeks to orbit. The point is if OP is an outsider, not a peer or a mutual i.e. friend of a friend to this network of parents, why would she suddenly become fast friends with them just because her kid goes to school there? It is delusional. It is actually pretty wormy and creepy to think or hope that your kid's new school gives you a new group of higher status friends. And if OP's obsessed enough to make a thread crying about it, it certainly projects in real life, which makes her seem transparently pushy and sketchy to the very people she seeks to orbit. You only get one first impression, you know. Rich and powerful are pretty guarded. In Washington, you could be Project Veritas or some foreign spook for all they know. Or just a low born waste of their time. Sorry, only so many hours in a day.

I prefer to be a "low born waste of time." My relationships are real and I never worry that someone likes me because of some arbitrary external characteristic.

I assume you are intentionally misreading OP's original post in order to make yourself feel better. Is that because you know others only care about you because of your status? Or just because reading comprehension is not your thing?

Please get therapy.

The rest of us are busy building quality communities for our children through respecting each other and our differences.

We all know why OP craves to make fast friends with private school privates. For superficial, social climbing reasons. Private parents are seen as wealthier, more powerful, members of clubs, and more connected. So who's really the shallow one? It's not the parents at the school living their life, it's OP for even having this scheme in the first place. Most parents are too busy with life, too busy with their career, obsessing over making new friends at their kid's new school is not on their radar. When it is on your radar, as OP admits, it's weird and creepy. No surprise if parents at the new school see right through that. And if you've gone 40 something years without this caliber of friend group, what makes you entitled to it now? It's frankly delusional.

Please get help. I beg of you for your kids sake. Op never said she was looking for friends. For gods sakes. She just said she would like to meet some friendly fellow parents and feel welcomed into her kids new school. Please get help and I am so concerned for your kids.

You mean that previous post wasn’t satire? Pls tell me it was satire.

No it isn't. She actually talks like this in person after a few glasses of wine. She is demented and possibly borderline psychotic. She thinks she has arrived because she finally got into the country club she wanted to. I worry for her kids because there is something terribly wrong with her.

This. There are a few people that use these actual words and love the phrase striver and speak this way very publicly. I wish they would stop posting for their kids sake because their language is very identifiable. The thing is neither of them present as being elite in person. They present as being sort of trashy and lower class. I don't know what their background is but it does not seem to make a difference in how they appear upon meeting them as they seem lower class in the way they conduct themselves and their language so I don't know why they are judging others as not being in their caliber because they are anything but elite.

I would rather have lunch with the OP any day of the week and I can attest my other DC private school parent friends would as well. BTW we are multi millionaires and are friendly to all families in our grade and consider everyone to be equals.

It’s not about being equals or thinking you’re better than anyone. It’s just not being hard up to make new friends if you’re not new to the area. When someone is middle aged and thirsty to make friends and “network” at a private school, it’s not only tacky, it reeks of inauthentic and wormy interloper. You’re not already friends or friends of friends with these people (prior to attending) because you have nothing in common. Your kid going to their kids’ school doesn’t really change that. And a lot of tight parent groups at private schools are people who’ve known each other for decades; kids are lifer legacies, they play the same travel sports, parents live in the same neighborhoods, work along side each other, many attended the same handful of colleges. A brand new rando is unlikely to penetrate that orbit unless you’re brand new to the region and have some status. If you’re not new to the area, everyone will rightfully assume you’ve been socially sorted.

“Socially sorted?” Is this a joke? Please get some help and get it fast. You sound unstable to the point that I am now worried for you and your family.

Yes agree. Sounds like they are on the verge of having a complete psychotic break. Something is very off with their posts.