BIL offered our vacation home to his brother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP: I know this sounds wimpy but one thing I really dislike about this whole situation is that before now we felt ‘effortlessly generous’ in offering SIL use of the house. Because it’s so close we use it a lot all year but when we definitely know when we won’t be out we’ve let them know it’s open to them (like we had other plans for the end of June of through the 4th of July and had told them back in the spring to use if they liked. They know we were there the next weekend (7/8) so it wasn’t open-ended. And they’ve been seemingly great and leave nice things in pantry, wines, etc. My DH says he (BIL) obviously knew it was a bit sketchy so only offered porch and pool house, not house. It’s just so ballsy I guess that he just decided HE had right to offer.

Yeah, moving forward the house will be empty when you are not there. You can have them there for Labor Day because you will be there. But for a long while, they will not have access when you are not present. No code. No nothing. THAT is an appropriate consequence.

Do you really want to spend your Labor Day weekend with people who were so disrespectful of your property and don't seem to care? That sounds like torture to me.

[Anonymous]

Instead of camera’s or in addition to camera’s, why not install a smart lock where you can give our temporary codes so this can never happen again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m confused. We’re they planning on sleeping in the house? Or just using your back yard? Either way it’s weird and rude. I actually feel bad for them, I would have been horrified if I realized you didn’t know/hadn’t OK’ed it.

The other family should have checked with the actual owners of the property before coming. That's an insane violation of property.

I know, I keep trying to imagine just showing up at my SIL or BIL's sibling's house and spending the night without ever speaking to them. Soooooooo awkward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who doesn’t take 5 minutes to scroll through email on weekends? I am very “good” — I have 30k unopened emails in my inbox — but I check it daily unless I don’t have Internet or cell access. Weird. Calling troll here.

SIL found the thread. PSA....make other mooching plands for Labor Day. And save up for your next airbnb. Ta ta!

I agree with PP. It’s weird to characterize not checking your personal email on weekends as being “good”.

OP didn't say the email came to her husband's personal email

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP. While they’re with you over Labor Day weekend, send some of your friends over to their house since it will be empty. I’m sure they won’t mind.

Just to camp in their backyard though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m confused. We’re they planning on sleeping in the house? Or just using your back yard? Either way it’s weird and rude. I actually feel bad for them, I would have been horrified if I realized you didn’t know/hadn’t OK’ed it.

The other family should have checked with the actual owners of the property before coming. That's an insane violation of property.

I know, I keep trying to imagine just showing up at my SIL or BIL's sibling's house and spending the night without ever speaking to them. Soooooooo awkward.

I would have to think that they knew that the owners didn't know. Otherwise, why are they staying on the porch and not going inside. That would have been a huge red flag for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who doesn’t take 5 minutes to scroll through email on weekends? I am very “good” — I have 30k unopened emails in my inbox — but I check it daily unless I don’t have Internet or cell access. Weird. Calling troll here.

SIL found the thread. PSA....make other mooching plands for Labor Day. And save up for your next airbnb. Ta ta!

I agree with PP. It’s weird to characterize not checking your personal email on weekends as being “good”.

OP didn't say the email came to her husband's personal email

Doesn’t really make sense that the SIL would email him at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:install cameras before they come. don't have them participate and further adopt the sense that the house is somehow a "family" vacation home. Plus you risk BIL being sketchy and downloading the app, getting access to your account. The guy cannot be trusted. No, cameras already installed so that they can see them is all that's needed. And don't say a word about them.

+10000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m confused. We’re they planning on sleeping in the house? Or just using your back yard? Either way it’s weird and rude. I actually feel bad for them, I would have been horrified if I realized you didn’t know/hadn’t OK’ed it.

The other family should have checked with the actual owners of the property before coming. That's an insane violation of property.

I know, I keep trying to imagine just showing up at my SIL or BIL's sibling's house and spending the night without ever speaking to them. Soooooooo awkward.

I would have to think that they knew that the owners didn't know. Otherwise, why are they staying on the porch and not going inside. That would have been a huge red flag for me.

Seriously!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP. While they’re with you over Labor Day weekend, send some of your friends over to their house since it will be empty. I’m sure they won’t mind.

Just to camp in their backyard though.

And use their patio, their grill equipment, and their garage. You can tell them the garage code so they can help themselves to bikes, patio cushions etc. But no house code.

[Anonymous]

If we showed up to our beach house and my sister's inlaws were there camping in my porch I would have to beg my husband not to call the police. That is crazy ballsy and it sounds like they've definitely invited randoms there before. I would make sure to revoke all access to them going forward.

[Anonymous]

SIL should divorce her DH. Only that can right this wrong!

[Anonymous]

REALLY hoping your pool house has a restroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Instead of camera’s or in addition to camera’s, why not install a smart lock where you can give our temporary codes so this can never happen again!

You need to go over your apostrophe rules again. You seem to have forgotten what they are for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who doesn’t take 5 minutes to scroll through email on weekends? I am very “good” — I have 30k unopened emails in my inbox — but I check it daily unless I don’t have Internet or cell access. Weird. Calling troll here.

People with good work/life boundaries.

+1.

It’s…not a work email.

Some of us aren’t wedded to our phones/tablets/computers on weekends when we’re trying to have family time. You can’t understand. We get it.