BIL offered our vacation home to his brother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who doesn’t take 5 minutes to scroll through email on weekends? I am very “good” — I have 30k unopened emails in my inbox — but I check it daily unless I don’t have Internet or cell access. Weird. Calling troll here.

People with good work/life boundaries.

+1.

It’s…not a work email.

Some of us aren’t wedded to our phones/tablets/computers on weekends when we’re trying to have family time. You can’t understand. We get it.

Because you are wedded to them on weekdays you feel virtuous for eschewing them on weekends? Balance is key, try it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who doesn’t take 5 minutes to scroll through email on weekends? I am very “good” — I have 30k unopened emails in my inbox — but I check it daily unless I don’t have Internet or cell access. Weird. Calling troll here.

People with good work/life boundaries.

+1.

It’s…not a work email.

Some of us aren’t wedded to our phones/tablets/computers on weekends when we’re trying to have family time. You can’t understand. We get it.

If you have enough time to dick around on DCUM in the middle of the night, I’m sure you can find the 5 seconds it takes to glance at your inbox once or twice per weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's hard to fathom that they wanted to spend a weekend on a screened in porch. They knew they weren't really invited.

Years ago when looking for a house, spouse and I were touring a house Fairfax Station that had a pool. It was a weekend and the house had moderate traffic. As we walked thru with our realtor there was a family hanging around who were all in swim gear. The dad was being rude and trying to push people out. He would engage people walking thru and trash talk the house. The dad complained to us they wanted to swim but didn't feel like they could with the people there. Eventually they just got in the pool. Our realtor hung around trying to find the homeowner's realtor who apparently had left the house. We were there when the realtor showed up and threw the people out.

Now THAT is funny! I can picture it. Thanks for the laugh PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP. While they’re with you over Labor Day weekend, send some of your friends over to their house since it will be empty. I’m sure they won’t mind.

Just to camp in their backyard though.

And use their patio, their grill equipment, and their garage. You can tell them the garage code so they can help themselves to bikes, patio cushions etc. But no house code.

Make sure when break something that leave note that was already broken when got there and include suggestions for how they could make their outside living area better for you next time.

[Anonymous]

This is OP & update
DH did talk to his sister earlier in week and she first presented her DHs brother & family being there as total misunderstanding, no big deal. We did learn that they had had this visit them/stay over when they were using our house w/our permission - which while I personally would have mentioned and probably I, not necessarily my DH, would have been fine with. When DH pressed point of our invitation have always been clear (listing days/dates) his sister was ‘we assumed it was a little wishy washy’ (Urghh we’ve ALWAYS been specific!!) She acted like it was protecting our interests that they’d told them that since THEY weren’t coming the other family should just treat house like a camp with a toilet and pool - and not go in house. And she pointed out that they left as soon as we came. Because it was a call, not in person, DH felt like he made his points and will follow up when we see them - actually tomorrow at a cousin’s house.
We’re still doing Labor Day but my DH says he’s done with them using house without us. We’re not going to make some big announcement-but obviously they took our generosity as a sense of ownership we never intended.

[Anonymous]

Weird follow-up.

[Anonymous]

I’m normally a proponent of no big announcements but your DH needs to tell them that he will not be lending them the house without being present before Labor Day. His sister and BIL have an expecting to use it and frankly her response sounded like BS. She’s lying and working hard to get herself out of being caught and keep access to the house. They absolutely will expect access again. It’s important to do it before Labor Day because you don’t want a blow up and a wrecked weekend over Labor Day if/when they hint at using it again.

Just a simple, I heard your explanation and that’s fine. I don’t feel comfortable lending out the house in the future without my presence.

Sister is likely to throw a fit or be quiet to regroup and figure out how to get access again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weird follow-up.

Totally disagree. OP I will happily read updates about this for the next several years.

[Anonymous]

I would have felt bad for the people in the house, who presumably had been assured it was fine to come.

Ouch. So awkward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who doesn’t take 5 minutes to scroll through email on weekends? I am very “good” — I have 30k unopened emails in my inbox — but I check it daily unless I don’t have Internet or cell access. Weird. Calling troll here.

People with good work/life boundaries.

+1.

It’s…not a work email.

Some of us aren’t wedded to our phones/tablets/computers on weekends when we’re trying to have family time. You can’t understand. We get it.

Because you are wedded to them on weekdays you feel virtuous for eschewing them on weekends? Balance is key, try it.

Not in the slightest, but here’s a sticker, because you tried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who doesn’t take 5 minutes to scroll through email on weekends? I am very “good” — I have 30k unopened emails in my inbox — but I check it daily unless I don’t have Internet or cell access. Weird. Calling troll here.

People with good work/life boundaries.

+1.

It’s…not a work email.

Some of us aren’t wedded to our phones/tablets/computers on weekends when we’re trying to have family time. You can’t understand. We get it.

If you have enough time to dick around on DCUM in the middle of the night, I’m sure you can find the 5 seconds it takes to glance at your inbox once or twice per weekend.

And yet we don’t want to, and don’t have to, and for some bizarre reason, that really bothers you. Go touch grass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weird follow-up.

Totally disagree. OP I will happily read updates about this for the next several years.

Me, too. And I disagree with the PP that some big announcement is warranted. OP and DH will just not share any dates they won’t be using the house. Ever. The sister/BIL abused their generosity and felt a sense of ownership that they didn’t have.

[Anonymous]

OP,

I think you and DH are doing the best that you can do.

Looking forward to the post Labor Day update.

[Anonymous]

No sense having a big blowup over this. The daughters are best friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weird follow-up.

Totally disagree. OP I will happily read updates about this for the next several years.

Me, too. And I disagree with the PP that some big announcement is warranted. OP and DH will just not share any dates they won’t be using the house. Ever. The sister/BIL abused their generosity and felt a sense of ownership that they didn’t have.

We’ll then you need a good lock to the pool area and cameras. I guarantee they will expect to stay there again. They will probably bring it up over Labor Day manipulating that you’ll want to avoid a blow up with the kids there.

It’s less drama to just matter of factly tell them in advance of the future change.