Where do private schools really get you in life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t send my kids to private school to get into the best college. I want them to enjoy learning, know how to write and analyze, gain exposure and experience with a broad curriculum of subjects, and go to school in a culture where kids and families prioritize education and learning.

My husband and I grew up in two different worlds. He went to private school and I went to public school. He was an average student in high school, I did very well. We both went to a big 10 university. Despite the fact that we went to the same college, we did not have the same experience or career outcomes. His knowledge of the world and how to navigate it far exceeded mine and pretty much any person we know that went to public school. He is now the successful CEO of his own company. I went on to get another degree and still don’t have his level of connections and knowledge. I attribute much of his success to the lifelong educational experiences and culture he grew up in.

I could have written this except I'm the one with the private school education and my husband is public. He has commented before on the educational experiences I had and the culture I grew up in (not solely related to my family, as they were first-generational wealth) and that made his want to send our kids to private school as well. I'm not smarter than him - our IQs are actually about the same - but our experiences were vastly different. And having the ability to choose for our kids, we chose the path I had gone down, rather than the path he had. And for what it's worth, he went to public in MD's top public schools, so he wasn't in some poor, rural county somewhere.

Neither you nor the PP have yet to listed what “educational experiences and culture” was experienced that so greatly improved your (or her husband’s) understanding of the world, beyond the connections you noted. Your answer may actually help the OP, answer the original question.

NP but just very curious if anyone can explain this too.

In my husband's private school, 100% of the students went on to college. That is the culture and expectation. There are very few public schools that can say 100% of their students go on to college. As a public school student, I had LOTS of different friend groups. I was friends with and part of the top 10% academically, but I also hung out with plenty of other kids from other social classes and with kids that were not as academically inclined. Many of them were great people but also did plenty of stupid things that I also did due to peer pressure. My husband never had any exposure to those things in schools.

My husband understood money, finances, investing, and the paths to different careers in ways that I had little exposure. He understands how everything works. The classes he took in school were also very different. He knew more about world history, politics, religion, social studies, weather, science, etc. He took Latin at a young age. Kids were always expected to actively participate in class discussions when the class size was small. He was learning and applying real knowledge v. memorizing to take tests. His extracurricular activities were different which gave him additional knowledge on numerous things. The field trips they took in school are not even comparable.

The confidence that comes with growing up in an upper class neighborhood and school translated into an ability to try new things and take risks. Most middle and even upper middle class kids are taught a certain path to security (e.g. lawyer, doctor, engineer, etc.). My husband knew how to raise capital and make investments so he could start his own company. Many of his classmates were willing to do similar things. They had the skills and experience to be entrepreneurs. They weren't scared to do things because they knew and associated with so many people that had done something similar and were successful. Our friends and friends parents are always amazed at the things my husband does or knows about. I can't count how many times some has said, "how does he know how to do that"?

I am in no way saying that a public school kid cannot be successful. Of course they can. But once I toured private schools and saw how different the educational environment is and was from my own public school experience, I knew which environment I wanted our kids to be in.

[Anonymous]

Well, apparently not into Vandy, Emory, Tulane, Case Western Reserve, OR Northeastern. Even with a >1500 SAT and near straight As. Super depressing to read.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/960305.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since when is Uva a tier 2 college and Cornell a tier one?!

Boston College isn’t either.

Students that get into Boston College have an average SAT score between 1340-1500

Students admitted to Boston College might have that SAT average, so the attending is a little lower. Isn't the average SAT at the Big 3s around 1400? So yes, a mid-pack Big 3 student can easily get into Boston College, especially since they're likely full pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since when is Uva a tier 2 college and Cornell a tier one?!

Boston College isn’t either.

Students that get into Boston College have an average SAT score between 1340-1500

Students admitted to Boston College might have that SAT average, so the attending is a little lower. Isn't the average SAT at the Big 3s around 1400? So yes, a mid-pack Big 3 student can easily get into Boston College, especially since they're likely full pay.

It has the same 23% acceptance rate as UVA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t send my kids to private school to get into the best college. I want them to enjoy learning, know how to write and analyze, gain exposure and experience with a broad curriculum of subjects, and go to school in a culture where kids and families prioritize education and learning.

My husband and I grew up in two different worlds. He went to private school and I went to public school. He was an average student in high school, I did very well. We both went to a big 10 university. Despite the fact that we went to the same college, we did not have the same experience or career outcomes. His knowledge of the world and how to navigate it far exceeded mine and pretty much any person we know that went to public school. He is now the successful CEO of his own company. I went on to get another degree and still don’t have his level of connections and knowledge. I attribute much of his success to the lifelong educational experiences and culture he grew up in.

I could have written this except I'm the one with the private school education and my husband is public. He has commented before on the educational experiences I had and the culture I grew up in (not solely related to my family, as they were first-generational wealth) and that made his want to send our kids to private school as well. I'm not smarter than him - our IQs are actually about the same - but our experiences were vastly different. And having the ability to choose for our kids, we chose the path I had gone down, rather than the path he had. And for what it's worth, he went to public in MD's top public schools, so he wasn't in some poor, rural county somewhere.

Neither you nor the PP have yet to listed what “educational experiences and culture” was experienced that so greatly improved your (or her husband’s) understanding of the world, beyond the connections you noted. Your answer may actually help the OP, answer the original question.

NP but just very curious if anyone can explain this too.

In my husband's private school, 100% of the students went on to college. That is the culture and expectation. There are very few public schools that can say 100% of their students go on to college. As a public school student, I had LOTS of different friend groups. I was friends with and part of the top 10% academically, but I also hung out with plenty of other kids from other social classes and with kids that were not as academically inclined. Many of them were great people but also did plenty of stupid things that I also did due to peer pressure. My husband never had any exposure to those things in schools.

My husband understood money, finances, investing, and the paths to different careers in ways that I had little exposure. He understands how everything works. The classes he took in school were also very different. He knew more about world history, politics, religion, social studies, weather, science, etc. He took Latin at a young age. Kids were always expected to actively participate in class discussions when the class size was small. He was learning and applying real knowledge v. memorizing to take tests. His extracurricular activities were different which gave him additional knowledge on numerous things. The field trips they took in school are not even comparable.

The confidence that comes with growing up in an upper class neighborhood and school translated into an ability to try new things and take risks. Most middle and even upper middle class kids are taught a certain path to security (e.g. lawyer, doctor, engineer, etc.). My husband knew how to raise capital and make investments so he could start his own company. Many of his classmates were willing to do similar things. They had the skills and experience to be entrepreneurs. They weren't scared to do things because they knew and associated with so many people that had done something similar and were successful. Our friends and friends parents are always amazed at the things my husband does or knows about. I can't count how many times some has said, "how does he know how to do that"?

I am in no way saying that a public school kid cannot be successful. Of course they can. But once I toured private schools and saw how different the educational environment is and was from my own public school experience, I knew which environment I wanted our kids to be in.

There are many public school kids who are raised the same from affluent families and many private school kids who do drugs etc and make stupid choices...private is not some security blanket where kids are kept away from these things.
As Someone who has personal experience being at both in high school I can tell you that although, yes, typically an elite private school can be a wealth of opportunity there is also a wealth of opportunity for students to make bad choices but you just don’t hear about it because their daddy gets them out of trouble so they grow up to be entitled young men.

[Anonymous]

Look, it really depends on if your are talking about private all the way through or just HS. A great public HS can get you into a lot of wonderful situations, assuming the kid is involved in school and has a happy and stimulating family life.
I think there is a lot of benefit for lower and middle school being in private, but the gains drop significantly, given the price of 200k for the experience, in HS if you are zoned for a good public school with a good program for what your kid is good at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m PP - for the record, I’d LOVE to be able to send my child to public school. If I had no choice financially then yes, they’d be in public but because I can choose and I know the state of our schools, I choose and pay for private.

What public school system are you talking about?

LAUSD

I knew you weren’t in the DC area. We have excellent public schools here.

We have some excellent public schools here, too. They're just in areas in which the mortgage would be far more than paying for private and those schools still have larger class sizes, budget issues (parental fundraising and/or donations non-withstanding) and have to deal with all of the LAUSD nonsense that the non-excellent public schools here do. Why pay the mortgage and property taxes in Beverly Hills, which is NOT worth it, when I can live in a nice suburban neighborhood and pay for private school?

Also, your response was ridiculously snotty but not surprising for some posters here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t send my kids to private school to get into the best college. I want them to enjoy learning, know how to write and analyze, gain exposure and experience with a broad curriculum of subjects, and go to school in a culture where kids and families prioritize education and learning.

My husband and I grew up in two different worlds. He went to private school and I went to public school. He was an average student in high school, I did very well. We both went to a big 10 university. Despite the fact that we went to the same college, we did not have the same experience or career outcomes. His knowledge of the world and how to navigate it far exceeded mine and pretty much any person we know that went to public school. He is now the successful CEO of his own company. I went on to get another degree and still don’t have his level of connections and knowledge. I attribute much of his success to the lifelong educational experiences and culture he grew up in.

I could have written this except I'm the one with the private school education and my husband is public. He has commented before on the educational experiences I had and the culture I grew up in (not solely related to my family, as they were first-generational wealth) and that made his want to send our kids to private school as well. I'm not smarter than him - our IQs are actually about the same - but our experiences were vastly different. And having the ability to choose for our kids, we chose the path I had gone down, rather than the path he had. And for what it's worth, he went to public in MD's top public schools, so he wasn't in some poor, rural county somewhere.

Neither you nor the PP have yet to listed what “educational experiences and culture” was experienced that so greatly improved your (or her husband’s) understanding of the world, beyond the connections you noted. Your answer may actually help the OP, answer the original question.

NP but just very curious if anyone can explain this too.

In my husband's private school, 100% of the students went on to college. That is the culture and expectation. There are very few public schools that can say 100% of their students go on to college. As a public school student, I had LOTS of different friend groups. I was friends with and part of the top 10% academically, but I also hung out with plenty of other kids from other social classes and with kids that were not as academically inclined. Many of them were great people but also did plenty of stupid things that I also did due to peer pressure. My husband never had any exposure to those things in schools.

My husband understood money, finances, investing, and the paths to different careers in ways that I had little exposure. He understands how everything works. The classes he took in school were also very different. He knew more about world history, politics, religion, social studies, weather, science, etc. He took Latin at a young age. Kids were always expected to actively participate in class discussions when the class size was small. He was learning and applying real knowledge v. memorizing to take tests. His extracurricular activities were different which gave him additional knowledge on numerous things. The field trips they took in school are not even comparable.

The confidence that comes with growing up in an upper class neighborhood and school translated into an ability to try new things and take risks. Most middle and even upper middle class kids are taught a certain path to security (e.g. lawyer, doctor, engineer, etc.). My husband knew how to raise capital and make investments so he could start his own company. Many of his classmates were willing to do similar things. They had the skills and experience to be entrepreneurs. They weren't scared to do things because they knew and associated with so many people that had done something similar and were successful. Our friends and friends parents are always amazed at the things my husband does or knows about. I can't count how many times some has said, "how does he know how to do that"?

I am in no way saying that a public school kid cannot be successful. Of course they can. But once I toured private schools and saw how different the educational environment is and was from my own public school experience, I knew which environment I wanted our kids to be in.

As someone who attend both public and private HS, what you’re describing is not an educational standard or even curriculum of a school but proximity to wealth and the experiences and opportunities that flow from such. Lower to Middle class and some upper middle class kids are taught to reach for certain security paths because the ability to attain them seems within reach and they as individuals don’t have a lot of room for failure. UMC and Wealthy kids have confidence to take risk and try new things because the room for failure is greater(i.e. the consequences of the risk are not as great.) and the proximity to those who can support such endeavors is also greater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t send my kids to private school to get into the best college. I want them to enjoy learning, know how to write and analyze, gain exposure and experience with a broad curriculum of subjects, and go to school in a culture where kids and families prioritize education and learning.

My husband and I grew up in two different worlds. He went to private school and I went to public school. He was an average student in high school, I did very well. We both went to a big 10 university. Despite the fact that we went to the same college, we did not have the same experience or career outcomes. His knowledge of the world and how to navigate it far exceeded mine and pretty much any person we know that went to public school. He is now the successful CEO of his own company. I went on to get another degree and still don’t have his level of connections and knowledge. I attribute much of his success to the lifelong educational experiences and culture he grew up in.

I could have written this except I'm the one with the private school education and my husband is public. He has commented before on the educational experiences I had and the culture I grew up in (not solely related to my family, as they were first-generational wealth) and that made his want to send our kids to private school as well. I'm not smarter than him - our IQs are actually about the same - but our experiences were vastly different. And having the ability to choose for our kids, we chose the path I had gone down, rather than the path he had. And for what it's worth, he went to public in MD's top public schools, so he wasn't in some poor, rural county somewhere.

Neither you nor the PP have yet to listed what “educational experiences and culture” was experienced that so greatly improved your (or her husband’s) understanding of the world, beyond the connections you noted. Your answer may actually help the OP, answer the original question.

NP but just very curious if anyone can explain this too.

In my husband's private school, 100% of the students went on to college. That is the culture and expectation. There are very few public schools that can say 100% of their students go on to college. As a public school student, I had LOTS of different friend groups. I was friends with and part of the top 10% academically, but I also hung out with plenty of other kids from other social classes and with kids that were not as academically inclined. Many of them were great people but also did plenty of stupid things that I also did due to peer pressure. My husband never had any exposure to those things in schools.

My husband understood money, finances, investing, and the paths to different careers in ways that I had little exposure. He understands how everything works. The classes he took in school were also very different. He knew more about world history, politics, religion, social studies, weather, science, etc. He took Latin at a young age. Kids were always expected to actively participate in class discussions when the class size was small. He was learning and applying real knowledge v. memorizing to take tests. His extracurricular activities were different which gave him additional knowledge on numerous things. The field trips they took in school are not even comparable.

The confidence that comes with growing up in an upper class neighborhood and school translated into an ability to try new things and take risks. Most middle and even upper middle class kids are taught a certain path to security (e.g. lawyer, doctor, engineer, etc.). My husband knew how to raise capital and make investments so he could start his own company. Many of his classmates were willing to do similar things. They had the skills and experience to be entrepreneurs. They weren't scared to do things because they knew and associated with so many people that had done something similar and were successful. Our friends and friends parents are always amazed at the things my husband does or knows about. I can't count how many times some has said, "how does he know how to do that"?

I am in no way saying that a public school kid cannot be successful. Of course they can. But once I toured private schools and saw how different the educational environment is and was from my own public school experience, I knew which environment I wanted our kids to be in.

As someone who attend both public and private HS, what you’re describing is not an educational standard or even curriculum of a school but proximity to wealth and the experiences and opportunities that flow from such. Lower to Middle class and some upper middle class kids are taught to reach for certain security paths because the ability to attain them seems within reach and they as individuals don’t have a lot of room for failure. UMC and Wealthy kids have confidence to take risk and try new things because the room for failure is greater(i.e. the consequences of the risk are not as great.) and the proximity to those who can support such endeavors is also greater.

Quite true. If you are working over a net, you can walk a high tight rope. Without a net you need to stay close to the ground. The small consequences of failure allow children with high social capital to take risks that others would be foolish to take.

Bill Gates, the child of a wealthy, influential family, could drop out of Harvard to chase his dream because he was going to do well no matter what. The same kid but from a middle class family attending the University of Missouri, first in his family to go to college, would have been foolish to take the same path.

That's life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t send my kids to private school to get into the best college. I want them to enjoy learning, know how to write and analyze, gain exposure and experience with a broad curriculum of subjects, and go to school in a culture where kids and families prioritize education and learning.

My husband and I grew up in two different worlds. He went to private school and I went to public school. He was an average student in high school, I did very well. We both went to a big 10 university. Despite the fact that we went to the same college, we did not have the same experience or career outcomes. His knowledge of the world and how to navigate it far exceeded mine and pretty much any person we know that went to public school. He is now the successful CEO of his own company. I went on to get another degree and still don’t have his level of connections and knowledge. I attribute much of his success to the lifelong educational experiences and culture he grew up in.

I could have written this except I'm the one with the private school education and my husband is public. He has commented before on the educational experiences I had and the culture I grew up in (not solely related to my family, as they were first-generational wealth) and that made his want to send our kids to private school as well. I'm not smarter than him - our IQs are actually about the same - but our experiences were vastly different. And having the ability to choose for our kids, we chose the path I had gone down, rather than the path he had. And for what it's worth, he went to public in MD's top public schools, so he wasn't in some poor, rural county somewhere.

Neither you nor the PP have yet to listed what “educational experiences and culture” was experienced that so greatly improved your (or her husband’s) understanding of the world, beyond the connections you noted. Your answer may actually help the OP, answer the original question.

NP but just very curious if anyone can explain this too.

In my husband's private school, 100% of the students went on to college. That is the culture and expectation. There are very few public schools that can say 100% of their students go on to college. As a public school student, I had LOTS of different friend groups. I was friends with and part of the top 10% academically, but I also hung out with plenty of other kids from other social classes and with kids that were not as academically inclined. Many of them were great people but also did plenty of stupid things that I also did due to peer pressure. My husband never had any exposure to those things in schools.

My husband understood money, finances, investing, and the paths to different careers in ways that I had little exposure. He understands how everything works. The classes he took in school were also very different. He knew more about world history, politics, religion, social studies, weather, science, etc. He took Latin at a young age. Kids were always expected to actively participate in class discussions when the class size was small. He was learning and applying real knowledge v. memorizing to take tests. His extracurricular activities were different which gave him additional knowledge on numerous things. The field trips they took in school are not even comparable.

The confidence that comes with growing up in an upper class neighborhood and school translated into an ability to try new things and take risks. Most middle and even upper middle class kids are taught a certain path to security (e.g. lawyer, doctor, engineer, etc.). My husband knew how to raise capital and make investments so he could start his own company. Many of his classmates were willing to do similar things. They had the skills and experience to be entrepreneurs. They weren't scared to do things because they knew and associated with so many people that had done something similar and were successful. Our friends and friends parents are always amazed at the things my husband does or knows about. I can't count how many times some has said, "how does he know how to do that"?

I am in no way saying that a public school kid cannot be successful. Of course they can. But once I toured private schools and saw how different the educational environment is and was from my own public school experience, I knew which environment I wanted our kids to be in.

As someone who attend both public and private HS, what you’re describing is not an educational standard or even curriculum of a school but proximity to wealth and the experiences and opportunities that flow from such. Lower to Middle class and some upper middle class kids are taught to reach for certain security paths because the ability to attain them seems within reach and they as individuals don’t have a lot of room for failure. UMC and Wealthy kids have confidence to take risk and try new things because the room for failure is greater(i.e. the consequences of the risk are not as great.) and the proximity to those who can support such endeavors is also greater.

Yes!! +1000

[Anonymous]

You cannot discount that there also is some learned behavior that is different from public to private. One key difference I’ve seen is the idea that there are constraints, this can be both good and bad. Public school kids are informally taught that there are constraints everywhere. This comes from limited budgets and rationing of services, like art, music, etc. When your mindset is based on the expectation of constraints it can affect the choices you make and conception of what is possible. In contrast, private school kids are informally taught that the world is what you make it, that the only constraint is you. This can lead to higher anxiety and depression. It can also lead to poor choices of major or career paths. Sometimes kids are affluent but not generationally rich enough to make these choices which is where you end up with stories about the dentists kid that went to Brown, majored in Art History and is now living in the basement while applying for unpaid internships at museums after college. But under the right conditions, you get the Gates or Zuckerberg’s or whatever that can take risks with this self belief that they can do it because the world is theirs for the taking all along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You cannot discount that there also is some learned behavior that is different from public to private. One key difference I’ve seen is the idea that there are constraints, this can be both good and bad. Public school kids are informally taught that there are constraints everywhere. This comes from limited budgets and rationing of services, like art, music, etc. When your mindset is based on the expectation of constraints it can affect the choices you make and conception of what is possible. In contrast, private school kids are informally taught that the world is what you make it, that the only constraint is you. This can lead to higher anxiety and depression. It can also lead to poor choices of major or career paths. Sometimes kids are affluent but not generationally rich enough to make these choices which is where you end up with stories about the dentists kid that went to Brown, majored in Art History and is now living in the basement while applying for unpaid internships at museums after college. But under the right conditions, you get the Gates or Zuckerberg’s or whatever that can take risks with this self belief that they can do it because the world is theirs for the taking all along.

Didn't Zuckerberg go to public throughout his schooling other than the last two years at Exeter? It's a little hard to see how those two years would be so transformational in terms of his willingness to take risks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t send my kids to private school to get into the best college. I want them to enjoy learning, know how to write and analyze, gain exposure and experience with a broad curriculum of subjects, and go to school in a culture where kids and families prioritize education and learning.

My husband and I grew up in two different worlds. He went to private school and I went to public school. He was an average student in high school, I did very well. We both went to a big 10 university. Despite the fact that we went to the same college, we did not have the same experience or career outcomes. His knowledge of the world and how to navigate it far exceeded mine and pretty much any person we know that went to public school. He is now the successful CEO of his own company. I went on to get another degree and still don’t have his level of connections and knowledge. I attribute much of his success to the lifelong educational experiences and culture he grew up in.

I could have written this except I'm the one with the private school education and my husband is public. He has commented before on the educational experiences I had and the culture I grew up in (not solely related to my family, as they were first-generational wealth) and that made his want to send our kids to private school as well. I'm not smarter than him - our IQs are actually about the same - but our experiences were vastly different. And having the ability to choose for our kids, we chose the path I had gone down, rather than the path he had. And for what it's worth, he went to public in MD's top public schools, so he wasn't in some poor, rural county somewhere.

Neither you nor the PP have yet to listed what “educational experiences and culture” was experienced that so greatly improved your (or her husband’s) understanding of the world, beyond the connections you noted. Your answer may actually help the OP, answer the original question.

NP but just very curious if anyone can explain this too.

In my husband's private school, 100% of the students went on to college. That is the culture and expectation. There are very few public schools that can say 100% of their students go on to college. As a public school student, I had LOTS of different friend groups. I was friends with and part of the top 10% academically, but I also hung out with plenty of other kids from other social classes and with kids that were not as academically inclined. Many of them were great people but also did plenty of stupid things that I also did due to peer pressure. My husband never had any exposure to those things in schools.

My husband understood money, finances, investing, and the paths to different careers in ways that I had little exposure. He understands how everything works. The classes he took in school were also very different. He knew more about world history, politics, religion, social studies, weather, science, etc. He took Latin at a young age. Kids were always expected to actively participate in class discussions when the class size was small. He was learning and applying real knowledge v. memorizing to take tests. His extracurricular activities were different which gave him additional knowledge on numerous things. The field trips they took in school are not even comparable.

The confidence that comes with growing up in an upper class neighborhood and school translated into an ability to try new things and take risks. Most middle and even upper middle class kids are taught a certain path to security (e.g. lawyer, doctor, engineer, etc.). My husband knew how to raise capital and make investments so he could start his own company. Many of his classmates were willing to do similar things. They had the skills and experience to be entrepreneurs. They weren't scared to do things because they knew and associated with so many people that had done something similar and were successful. Our friends and friends parents are always amazed at the things my husband does or knows about. I can't count how many times some has said, "how does he know how to do that"?

I am in no way saying that a public school kid cannot be successful. Of course they can. But once I toured private schools and saw how different the educational environment is and was from my own public school experience, I knew which environment I wanted our kids to be in.

As someone who attend both public and private HS, what you’re describing is not an educational standard or even curriculum of a school but proximity to wealth and the experiences and opportunities that flow from such. Lower to Middle class and some upper middle class kids are taught to reach for certain security paths because the ability to attain them seems within reach and they as individuals don’t have a lot of room for failure. UMC and Wealthy kids have confidence to take risk and try new things because the room for failure is greater(i.e. the consequences of the risk are not as great.) and the proximity to those who can support such endeavors is also greater.

This is largely why the public/private debate that plays out on here all the time doesn't go much of anywhere. For a lot of kids whose families are full pay at top privates, going to a great college or even ivy league is nice but by no means necessarily to life success. The value of private schools is not measured principally in the same ways as it is by families for whom the cost is a stretch.

[Anonymous]

I went to an elite public (think TJHSST) and then to an elite college with a really tough engineering major. My peers who were at very elite high schools struggled just as much as me in college. I think it can vary greatly.

With the internet and more available resources for tutoring, writing, technology help, khan academy, etc., I am not sure private is worth it, but it depends on where you are and it's not a guarantee of anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to an elite public (think TJHSST) and then to an elite college with a really tough engineering major. My peers who were at very elite high schools struggled just as much as me in college. I think it can vary greatly.

With the internet and more available resources for tutoring, writing, technology help, khan academy, etc., I am not sure private is worth it, but it depends on where you are and it's not a guarantee of anything.

I think this is especially true for stem type majors in college. A good public can actually prepare you more, definitely just as well.