Where do private schools really get you in life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am choosing private because I went to an elite college, and the students from good privates did much better and had an easier time at college than me, largely because of my lackluster secondary education.

If I felt public was preparing them adequately, I would have no problem with it, but they spend so much of their time doing remedial work and sitting in the classroom board and idle waiting for other kids to finish. And this was before the pandemic.

I went to a "W" public school and then to an elite college. For me, the workload at college was a step _down_ from what I was used to. A couple of my classmates who went to privates (not in the DC area) failed out because they couldn't handle the work. Depends widely on the high school of course.

We moved to private this last year initially so our kids could have in-person schooling, but we decided to stay because of the smaller class sizes, personal attention, and the MCPS management mess at the top levels (teachers are great though).

[Anonymous]

My kids have been pre-k to now high school at a top private. I don’t know anyone who selected it for a leg up in college admissions. No one talks like that. And plenty of kids go to non Ivies. Obviously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am choosing private because I went to an elite college, and the students from good privates did much better and had an easier time at college than me, largely because of my lackluster secondary education.

If I felt public was preparing them adequately, I would have no problem with it, but they spend so much of their time doing remedial work and sitting in the classroom board and idle waiting for other kids to finish. And this was before the pandemic.

Hmm, I had this same experience coming from a public to an elite school. My public was super crappy though and I don't know that the ones around here are as bad.

However, I was able to catch up Freshman year. I went to the writing center for help, I retook calc, and had a tutor this time to actually learn it. I went to office hours, which professors tend to love. It was extra work and I had to be self motivated but it was also very doable as long as you are willing to put the work in.

I ended up graduating with a 3.92 GPA so in the end it wasn't that bad.

I don't think it's worth 50k a year + just to spare your kid this extra work freshman year if you don't have that kind of money.

How bad was your public? Mine had no AP courses, no IB, only about 1/3 of school even went to college and 95% went to local southern colleges or community college. Every year about 1 student went to a name brand school, the doctors kids went to places like Emory, and a slew went to military.

It wasn’t unsafe or anything like that, just rural backwater.

And I see similar focus on just getting diplomas on bodies now in our formerly good public school, which is under funded and overcrowded and now with pandemic will likely become test prep and remedial learning 100%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am choosing private because I went to an elite college, and the students from good privates did much better and had an easier time at college than me, largely because of my lackluster secondary education.

If I felt public was preparing them adequately, I would have no problem with it, but they spend so much of their time doing remedial work and sitting in the classroom board and idle waiting for other kids to finish. And this was before the pandemic.

Hmm, I had this same experience coming from a public to an elite school. My public was super crappy though and I don't know that the ones around here are as bad.

However, I was able to catch up Freshman year. I went to the writing center for help, I retook calc, and had a tutor this time to actually learn it. I went to office hours, which professors tend to love. It was extra work and I had to be self motivated but it was also very doable as long as you are willing to put the work in.

I ended up graduating with a 3.92 GPA so in the end it wasn't that bad.

I don't think it's worth 50k a year + just to spare your kid this extra work freshman year if you don't have that kind of money.

I worked very hard but it was almost impossible to make up for that (it comes down to the fact you are probably smarter than me), and these are my kids so I suspect they are about as dumb as me!

One key thing was I was too embarrassed to go to office hours and waste my professors time because I felt so profoundly behind. I felt it was fine if you had a specific question, but if they had to re-teach the lesson they would figure out I didn’t belong. This may have been imposter syndrome or true incompetence, leave it as exercise for the reader.

I did a technical major and had some successes, but in the end my grades were lackluster.

PP here. I did it for both. Especially after I realized how much these people love it and will favor you for special programs or awards. I asked my econ professor one question that he said he had never considered before and it ended up with him recommending me for a full scholarship for an MBA (which I very stupidly didn't take). I once wrote a whole paper on the wrong topic but the professor knew me from office hours and said he was so impressed by it that he gave me full marks anyway, lol. I had another professor who said she'd edit papers for you if you submitted them early, probably something she'd offer because no one ever did. Well I did and she was a tough grader so I kept submitting. I think she eventually gave me an A just to get rid of me, lol. I ended up getting an award from the department and I don't think it's because I was the best student. But I was probably one of the harder working ones.

My point is, what I learned from all that, is that people really like it when you show a genuine interest in their work, when they can see that you are trying hard, and they are more likely to reward people they know then people they don't. Perseverance and effort pay off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am choosing private because I went to an elite college, and the students from good privates did much better and had an easier time at college than me, largely because of my lackluster secondary education.

If I felt public was preparing them adequately, I would have no problem with it, but they spend so much of their time doing remedial work and sitting in the classroom board and idle waiting for other kids to finish. And this was before the pandemic.

I went to a "W" public school and then to an elite college. For me, the workload at college was a step _down_ from what I was used to. A couple of my classmates who went to privates (not in the DC area) failed out because they couldn't handle the work. Depends widely on the high school of course.

We moved to private this last year initially so our kids could have in-person schooling, but we decided to stay because of the smaller class sizes, personal attention, and the MCPS management mess at the top levels (teachers are great though).

15 years ago, MCPS, FCPS, APS were very different school systems. They are all overcrowded and no longer promote opportunities for high achievers, it is not the focus anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am choosing private because I went to an elite college, and the students from good privates did much better and had an easier time at college than me, largely because of my lackluster secondary education.

If I felt public was preparing them adequately, I would have no problem with it, but they spend so much of their time doing remedial work and sitting in the classroom board and idle waiting for other kids to finish. And this was before the pandemic.

Hmm, I had this same experience coming from a public to an elite school. My public was super crappy though and I don't know that the ones around here are as bad.

However, I was able to catch up Freshman year. I went to the writing center for help, I retook calc, and had a tutor this time to actually learn it. I went to office hours, which professors tend to love. It was extra work and I had to be self motivated but it was also very doable as long as you are willing to put the work in.

I ended up graduating with a 3.92 GPA so in the end it wasn't that bad.

I don't think it's worth 50k a year + just to spare your kid this extra work freshman year if you don't have that kind of money.

How bad was your public? Mine had no AP courses, no IB, only about 1/3 of school even went to college and 95% went to local southern colleges or community college. Every year about 1 student went to a name brand school, the doctors kids went to places like Emory, and a slew went to military.

It wasn’t unsafe or anything like that, just rural backwater.

And I see similar focus on just getting diplomas on bodies now in our formerly good public school, which is under funded and overcrowded and now with pandemic will likely become test prep and remedial learning 100%.

Same. We had AP US history and English and that was it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have fallen into a social climbing trap that will NOT turn out the way you dream it will.

**fixed my typo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids have been pre-k to now high school at a top private. I don’t know anyone who selected it for a leg up in college admissions. No one talks like that. And plenty of kids go to non Ivies. Obviously.

This. Every now and then someone crows about how their public school kid got into a fantastic college and they’re so glad they didn’t waste money on private school to get the “same outcome”. I nod politely and congratulate them. Some people don’t think that there’s anything more to education than where you end up for college.

If that’s your measure, OP, and you have a tolerable public, then there’s no reason not to go for it.

[Anonymous]

Proper grammar. “Where do private schools get you in life?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am choosing private because I went to an elite college, and the students from good privates did much better and had an easier time at college than me, largely because of my lackluster secondary education.

If I felt public was preparing them adequately, I would have no problem with it, but they spend so much of their time doing remedial work and sitting in the classroom board and idle waiting for other kids to finish. And this was before the pandemic.

Hmm, I had this same experience coming from a public to an elite school. My public was super crappy though and I don't know that the ones around here are as bad.

However, I was able to catch up Freshman year. I went to the writing center for help, I retook calc, and had a tutor this time to actually learn it. I went to office hours, which professors tend to love. It was extra work and I had to be self motivated but it was also very doable as long as you are willing to put the work in.

I ended up graduating with a 3.92 GPA so in the end it wasn't that bad.

I don't think it's worth 50k a year + just to spare your kid this extra work freshman year if you don't have that kind of money.

I worked very hard but it was almost impossible to make up for that (it comes down to the fact you are probably smarter than me), and these are my kids so I suspect they are about as dumb as me!

One key thing was I was too embarrassed to go to office hours and waste my professors time because I felt so profoundly behind. I felt it was fine if you had a specific question, but if they had to re-teach the lesson they would figure out I didn’t belong. This may have been imposter syndrome or true incompetence, leave it as exercise for the reader.

I did a technical major and had some successes, but in the end my grades were lackluster.

PP here. I did it for both. Especially after I realized how much these people love it and will favor you for special programs or awards. I asked my econ professor one question that he said he had never considered before and it ended up with him recommending me for a full scholarship for an MBA (which I very stupidly didn't take). I once wrote a whole paper on the wrong topic but the professor knew me from office hours and said he was so impressed by it that he gave me full marks anyway, lol. I had another professor who said she'd edit papers for you if you submitted them early, probably something she'd offer because no one ever did. Well I did and she was a tough grader so I kept submitting. I think she eventually gave me an A just to get rid of me, lol. I ended up getting an award from the department and I don't think it's because I was the best student. But I was probably one of the harder working ones.

My point is, what I learned from all that, is that people really like it when you show a genuine interest in their work, when they can see that you are trying hard, and they are more likely to reward people they know then people they don't. Perseverance and effort pay off.

I love this story. It’s much more about the effort they can see you are putting in than one might realize.

Not to mention it isn’t just the best college anymore. Most people need even more nowadays, whether that’s grad school, business school, law school. How much money are you continually going to shell out for the “best” of everything? Until you’re in the poor house? Especially now when people are much older before starting a family. There is absolutely no way those 50K tuition elite schools are worth it unless you are guaranteed a ticket to the Ivy of your choice. And you are absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am choosing private because I went to an elite college, and the students from good privates did much better and had an easier time at college than me, largely because of my lackluster secondary education.

If I felt public was preparing them adequately, I would have no problem with it, but they spend so much of their time doing remedial work and sitting in the classroom board and idle waiting for other kids to finish. And this was before the pandemic.

+1

Easy straight As in public for very little work.

Our public school system has gone downhill tremendously in the last decade. We bailed for private HS.

[Anonymous]

What’s wrong with wanting an edge with college admissions?

[Anonymous]

It is a privilege to go to the very best private schools O.P. Less than five percent of students go to private schools. The top privates provide a posh + prestigious experience. Students feel valued + are confident. It would be nice if every kid were valued, but they are not.

People always strive for the best. Why does that confuse you. Who would not want to drive a luxury car over an everyday one?

Sure, some publics provide good educations. But they are not elite since anyone can go there.

[Anonymous]

I'm a single parent who doesn't earn much compared to people on DCUMs. I chose a private school for my DS because it's a better education all around. That's the reason. He will probably get into the same colleges he would've gotten into if he went to our local public school but he wouldn't be as prepared. Lots of kids who go to our neighborhood public school are not ready for the workload in college and they drop out. I'd rather my son be ready for what's coming especially when it is the most expensive thing I will ever spend my money on.

[Anonymous]

I went to a public high school, did fine, and attended several elite universities. Many of my friends and fellow students attended some of the top private/independent schools in the country and the world.

My freshman year in college was a struggle but I rose to the challenge and graduated with honors. Many of my roommates and friends who went to elite boarding schools didn't do as well.

The point is that kids can thrive in public school as long as there are at least some other studious/talented kids and some good teachers (if the school is really bad, then you need to look at other options, including moving). In fact, kids that perform well in the public school environment often have the motivation, grit, and endurance to excel later in college.

The bottom line (as a PP put it) is that private school is a luxury for the rich and only worth it if you can burn the $50k or so a year it costs per kid. If you can afford it, good for you. If you can't, then it is not the end of the world.


The point is that kids can thrive in public school as long as there are at least some other studious/talented kids and some good teachers (if the school is really bad, then you need to look at other options including moving). In fact, kids that perform well in the public school environment often have the motivation, grit, and endurance to excel later in college.

The bottom line (as a PP put it) is that private school is a luxury for the rich and only worth it if you can burn the $50k or so a year it costs per kid. If you can afford it, good for you. If you can't, then it is not the end of the world.