Turned down friends thermostat during the night and they feel I did something wrong....Question

[Anonymous]

OP again. No way I’m on the spectrum. The other person and I have adhd. Mine is treated. Theirs is not—in case you care to know more interesting facts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My hot-flashing SIL did this when we were visiting with an infant (her house, we were visiting). Woke up to weak cries from the baby's room only to find he was so cold his lips were turning blue. It was terrifying.

Oh COME ON.

BOLLOCKS

Wow, I'm surprised you don't believe me. Totally true. It was winter and the baby was a preemie with very little body fat.

A baby that young and fragile would be in your room. Unless you are a shit parent. Nice try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. It’s been a few days. I’ve been busy. You all are hilarious and wound-way-too-tight. Yes, we are (were maybe) in an intimate relationship. We were in the same bed and they were asleep. I thought I could be comfortable there and the response I got indicated a different level of relationship than I thought we had. It was my second time spending the night although I’ve been there numerous other times. We’ve actually known each other for decades. We dated exclusively earlier in our lives.

Maybe I turned the thermostat down 2 degrees and not 3. Either-way, the reaction felt over the top to me and judgmental. They mentioned something about the thermostat and I said I changed it not thinking it would cause the rest of our time together to be ruined. I surely would not have uttered a word if I thought they would snap back at me and then keep going on and on about it like I had committed a criminal act. Seriously now. If it were my home and someone who has seen me naked and more who I’ve known for decades adjusted my thermostat I could have cared less.

Yeah this seems like kind of an over the top reaction from someone having a relationship with you. Hope it works out and doesn't end over a thermostat. Or maybe this is a sign that it should end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. It’s been a few days. I’ve been busy. You all are hilarious and wound-way-too-tight. Yes, we are (were maybe) in an intimate relationship. We were in the same bed and they were asleep. I thought I could be comfortable there and the response I got indicated a different level of relationship than I thought we had. It was my second time spending the night although I’ve been there numerous other times. We’ve actually known each other for decades. We dated exclusively earlier in our lives.

Maybe I turned the thermostat down 2 degrees and not 3. Either-way, the reaction felt over the top to me and judgmental. They mentioned something about the thermostat and I said I changed it not thinking it would cause the rest of our time together to be ruined. I surely would not have uttered a word if I thought they would snap back at me and then keep going on and on about it like I had committed a criminal act. Seriously now. If it were my home and someone who has seen me naked and more who I’ve known for decades adjusted my thermostat I could have cared less.

The [i]“Why were you in the same room together??” crazy, obsessed folks might stroke out.

As I said earlier, your friends are way too uptight, OP. The thermostat change wouldn’t bother me at all. I’d want my guests to be comfortable. I’d feel awful if they were uncomfortable and just suffered through it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. It’s been a few days. I’ve been busy. You all are hilarious and wound-way-too-tight. Yes, we are (were maybe) in an intimate relationship. We were in the same bed and they were asleep. I thought I could be comfortable there and the response I got indicated a different level of relationship than I thought we had. It was my second time spending the night although I’ve been there numerous other times. We’ve actually known each other for decades. We dated exclusively earlier in our lives.

Maybe I turned the thermostat down 2 degrees and not 3. Either-way, the reaction felt over the top to me and judgmental. They mentioned something about the thermostat and I said I changed it not thinking it would cause the rest of our time together to be ruined. I surely would not have uttered a word if I thought they would snap back at me and then keep going on and on about it like I had committed a criminal act. Seriously now. If it were my home and someone who has seen me naked and more who I’ve known for decades adjusted my thermostat I could have cared less.

Yeah this seems like kind of an over the top reaction from someone having a relationship with you. Hope it works out and doesn't end over a thermostat. Or maybe this is a sign that it should end.

This changes my reaction. But you used the plural 'friends' and 'they' so what else are we commenters supposed to think? The normal judgments can be thrown out an open window.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. It’s been a few days. I’ve been busy. You all are hilarious and wound-way-too-tight. Yes, we are (were maybe) in an intimate relationship. We were in the same bed and they were asleep. I thought I could be comfortable there and the response I got indicated a different level of relationship than I thought we had. It was my second time spending the night although I’ve been there numerous other times. We’ve actually known each other for decades. We dated exclusively earlier in our lives.

Maybe I turned the thermostat down 2 degrees and not 3. Either-way, the reaction felt over the top to me and judgmental. They mentioned something about the thermostat and I said I changed it not thinking it would cause the rest of our time together to be ruined. I surely would not have uttered a word if I thought they would snap back at me and then keep going on and on about it like I had committed a criminal act. Seriously now. If it were my home and someone who has seen me naked and more who I’ve known for decades adjusted my thermostat I could have cared less.

Yeah this seems like kind of an over the top reaction from someone having a relationship with you. Hope it works out and doesn't end over a thermostat. Or maybe this is a sign that it should end.

This changes my reaction. But you used the plural 'friends' and 'they' so what else are we commenters supposed to think? The normal judgments can be thrown out an open window.

I’m human. Was upset when I posted. Intended to say friends not plural. I’m referring to they to not indicate gender. I was visiting and sleeping w a sole intimate partner not multiple people. Thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. It’s been a few days. I’ve been busy. You all are hilarious and wound-way-too-tight. Yes, we are (were maybe) in an intimate relationship. We were in the same bed and they were asleep. I thought I could be comfortable there and the response I got indicated a different level of relationship than I thought we had. It was my second time spending the night although I’ve been there numerous other times. We’ve actually known each other for decades. We dated exclusively earlier in our lives.

Maybe I turned the thermostat down 2 degrees and not 3. Either-way, the reaction felt over the top to me and judgmental. They mentioned something about the thermostat and I said I changed it not thinking it would cause the rest of our time together to be ruined. I surely would not have uttered a word if I thought they would snap back at me and then keep going on and on about it like I had committed a criminal act. Seriously now. If it were my home and someone who has seen me naked and more who I’ve known for decades adjusted my thermostat I could have cared less.

Yeah this seems like kind of an over the top reaction from someone having a relationship with you. Hope it works out and doesn't end over a thermostat. Or maybe this is a sign that it should end.

This changes my reaction. But you used the plural 'friends' and 'they' so what else are we commenters supposed to think? The normal judgments can be thrown out an open window.

I’m human. Was upset when I posted. Intended to say friends not plural. I’m referring to they to not indicate gender. I was visiting and sleeping w a sole intimate partner not multiple people.

Thanks

*friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. It’s been a few days. I’ve been busy. You all are hilarious and wound-way-too-tight. Yes, we are (were maybe) in an intimate relationship. We were in the same bed and they were asleep. I thought I could be comfortable there and the response I got indicated a different level of relationship than I thought we had. It was my second time spending the night although I’ve been there numerous other times. We’ve actually known each other for decades. We dated exclusively earlier in our lives.

Maybe I turned the thermostat down 2 degrees and not 3. Either-way, the reaction felt over the top to me and judgmental. They mentioned something about the thermostat and I said I changed it not thinking it would cause the rest of our time together to be ruined. I surely would not have uttered a word if I thought they would snap back at me and then keep going on and on about it like I had committed a criminal act. Seriously now. If it were my home and someone who has seen me naked and more who I’ve known for decades adjusted my thermostat I could have cared less.

Yeah this seems like kind of an over the top reaction from someone having a relationship with you. Hope it works out and doesn't end over a thermostat. Or maybe this is a sign that it should end.

This changes my reaction. But you used the plural 'friends' and 'they' so what else are we commenters supposed to think? The normal judgments can be thrown out an open window.

I agree. Someone you are sleeping with naked changes the control the thermostat rules considerably.

[Anonymous]

Op, the additional context changes my thinking, too.

If you are having sex with someone and are in a relationship and have known them a decade+, I think it is not too ballsy to change the thermostat a couple degrees. Your friend overreacted and I would not continue to sleep with him/her/it/them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. It’s been a few days. I’ve been busy. You all are hilarious and wound-way-too-tight. Yes, we are (were maybe) in an intimate relationship. We were in the same bed and they were asleep. I thought I could be comfortable there and the response I got indicated a different level of relationship than I thought we had. It was my second time spending the night although I’ve been there numerous other times. We’ve actually known each other for decades. We dated exclusively earlier in our lives.

Maybe I turned the thermostat down 2 degrees and not 3. Either-way, the reaction felt over the top to me and judgmental. They mentioned something about the thermostat and I said I changed it not thinking it would cause the rest of our time together to be ruined. I surely would not have uttered a word if I thought they would snap back at me and then keep going on and on about it like I had committed a criminal act. Seriously now. If it were my home and someone who has seen me naked and more who I’ve known for decades adjusted my thermostat I could have cared less.

The [i]“Why were you in the same room together??” crazy, obsessed folks might stroke out.

As I said earlier, your friends are way too uptight, OP. The thermostat change wouldn’t bother me at all. I’d want my guests to be comfortable. I’d feel awful if they were uncomfortable and just suffered through it.

I beg to differ

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. It’s been a few days. I’ve been busy. You all are hilarious and wound-way-too-tight. Yes, we are (were maybe) in an intimate relationship. We were in the same bed and they were asleep. I thought I could be comfortable there and the response I got indicated a different level of relationship than I thought we had. It was my second time spending the night although I’ve been there numerous other times. We’ve actually known each other for decades. We dated exclusively earlier in our lives.

Maybe I turned the thermostat down 2 degrees and not 3. Either-way, the reaction felt over the top to me and judgmental. They mentioned something about the thermostat and I said I changed it not thinking it would cause the rest of our time together to be ruined. I surely would not have uttered a word if I thought they would snap back at me and then keep going on and on about it like I had committed a criminal act. Seriously now. If it were my home and someone who has seen me naked and more who I’ve known for decades adjusted my thermostat I could have cared less.

The [i]“Why were you in the same room together??” crazy, obsessed folks might stroke out.

As I said earlier, your friends are way too uptight, OP. The thermostat change wouldn’t bother me at all. I’d want my guests to be comfortable. I’d feel awful if they were uncomfortable and just suffered through it.

I beg to differ

Ha! Fair point. Still... I couldn’t be friends w/ someone who’d get wound up over a thermostat change.

[Anonymous]

This is why the idea that "they" can be used in the singular is so problematic. OP, the forum is anonymous. You could have assigned whatever gender to you and your partner you wanted. People spent pages thinking you were talking about a couple because of your use of "they."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why the idea that "they" can be used in the singular is so problematic. OP, the forum is anonymous. You could have assigned whatever gender to you and your partner you wanted. People spent pages thinking you were talking about a couple because of your use of "they."

It's impossible for me to participate in this discussion with out a table of pronouns for each of the people involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why the idea that "they" can be used in the singular is so problematic. OP, the forum is anonymous. You could have assigned whatever gender to you and your partner you wanted. People spent pages thinking you were talking about a couple because of your use of "they."

Well, also because she pluralized friends. The problem was not the they, but that pesky s indicating more than one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why the idea that "they" can be used in the singular is so problematic. OP, the forum is anonymous. You could have assigned whatever gender to you and your partner you wanted. People spent pages thinking you were talking about a couple because of your use of "they."

Must be a slow day, huh?