Drafted letter to other woman’s husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, sorry PP, keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. I’m an alpha woman who initiated an affair with a married man because I could, not because I am lacking in self-esteem or self-worth. I definitely don’t “feel low” about myself, but it’s not worth explaining to you because you won’t believe me, regardless. Whatever helps you sleep at night!

- 30 year old who makes $350k/ year in finance and can date any guy I want

I went to a highly regarded business school and the women I know in finance are all single and not by choice. I’m confused as to why you think that is something men care about. Prob 80% of what matters to them is appearance.

That's a failure with how Americans people value women and not a reflection of the woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, sorry PP, keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. I’m an alpha woman who initiated an affair with a married man because I could, not because I am lacking in self-esteem or self-worth. I definitely don’t “feel low” about myself, but it’s not worth explaining to you because you won’t believe me, regardless. Whatever helps you sleep at night!

- 30 year old who makes $350k/ year in finance and can date any guy I want

I went to a highly regarded business school and the women I know in finance are all single and not by choice. I’m confused as to why you think that is something men care about. Prob 80% of what matters to them is appearance.

That's a failure with how Americans people value women and not a reflection of the woman.

Not really. This woman thinks that she has more value because she makes more money. Why is that more legitimate than how she looks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, sorry PP, keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. I’m an alpha woman who initiated an affair with a married man because I could, not because I am lacking in self-esteem or self-worth. I definitely don’t “feel low” about myself, but it’s not worth explaining to you because you won’t believe me, regardless. Whatever helps you sleep at night!

- 30 year old who makes $350k/ year in finance and can date any guy I want

I went to a highly regarded business school and the women I know in finance are all single and not by choice. I’m confused as to why you think that is something men care about. Prob 80% of what matters to them is appearance.

That's a failure with how Americans people value women and not a reflection of the woman.

Not from my experience. Many of these women won't marry a teacher or a SAHD.

That's a failure with how American people value men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, sorry PP, keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. I’m an alpha woman who initiated an affair with a married man because I could, not because I am lacking in self-esteem or self-worth. I definitely don’t “feel low” about myself, but it’s not worth explaining to you because you won’t believe me, regardless. Whatever helps you sleep at night!

- 30 year old who makes $350k/ year in finance and can date any guy I want

I went to a highly regarded business school and the women I know in finance are all single and not by choice. I’m confused as to why you think that is something men care about. Prob 80% of what matters to them is appearance.

That's a failure with how Americans people value women and not a reflection of the woman.

Not really. This woman thinks that she has more value because she makes more money. Why is that more legitimate than how she looks?

It’s a reflection of how society values women that I would assume you would think I was hot, dumb and financially unstable instead of smart, capable and financially stable (and hot)
. Neither my appearance nor my compensation should matter at all, but I was preempting where I thought I’d get the most pushback.

I also got my MBA at a top business school, and the vast majority of my female friends from grad school who want to have a partner, do have a partner. And I can’t think of one example where a male partner doesn’t value her intelligence, humor, or other qualities outside of her appearance. Maybe your friends are single because they go for men who only value their looks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, sorry PP, keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. I’m an alpha woman who initiated an affair with a married man because I could, not because I am lacking in self-esteem or self-worth. I definitely don’t “feel low” about myself, but it’s not worth explaining to you because you won’t believe me, regardless. Whatever helps you sleep at night!

- 30 year old who makes $350k/ year in finance and can date any guy I want

I went to a highly regarded business school and the women I know in finance are all single and not by choice. I’m confused as to why you think that is something men care about. Prob 80% of what matters to them is appearance.

That's a failure with how Americans people value women and not a reflection of the woman.

Not from my experience. Many of these women won't marry a teacher or a SAHD.

That's a failure with how American people value men.

Sure, but it 100% goes both ways. Two sides of the same coin.

[Anonymous]

I would totally tell him. Right away. No one deserves to be treated so poorly.

[Anonymous]

OP needs to just go over there and deliver the news in person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sending a letter like that makes YOU look crazy.

Completely depends on the tone.

Wrong. I have gotten one of these letters when I had broken it off when an ex-fiancee to say he had been cheating on me for more than a year. The tone was nice "women sticking out for women" bull. I was really angry. I would have preferred not to get such a letter. I was very upset someone thought they had the right to but into my life. People should mind their own business. No one has any idea what goes on in someone's relationship and they have no right to "out" anyone. It is not their business. Despite her nice tone, I thought the woman was a nutcase.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sending a letter like that makes YOU look crazy.

Completely depends on the tone.

Wrong. I have gotten one of these letters when I had broken it off when an ex-fiancee to say he had been cheating on me for more than a year. The tone was nice "women sticking out for women" bull. I was really angry. I would have preferred not to get such a letter. I was very upset someone thought they had the right to but into my life. People should mind their own business. No one has any idea what goes on in someone's relationship and they have no right to "out" anyone. It is not their business. Despite her nice tone, I thought the woman was a nutcase.

If the other woman issued a sincere apology, OP I would let it go. However, if the other woman was nasty and took zero responsibility for her part in causing harm and distress to another woman and her family. Zero remorse. The least you could do is realize you contributed to the destruction of a family and that your morals were whacked for whatever reason. When you turn it about you---"I was in a bad place", "It would have been anyone else", "Why are you trying to ruin my family (UMMM..HELLO! what do you think YOU DID to mine??), then I can see wanting to blow up her world.

An apology goes a long way to somebody that you harmed by YOUR actions, your intent was to find a new husband. If you knew about the AP's wife, researched her, stalked her....and then you get nasty when you are found out by her. Sorry--nobody owes you anything.

All the OW had to do was say ....sorry. It goes a long way in diffusing the situation. When the OW gets self-righteous and combative and does not own any responsibility to the affect her actions did to others---all gloves are off. Spouse will be notified.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would totally tell him. Right away. No one deserves to be treated so poorly.

Yes. This guy needs to know for his own protection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sending a letter like that makes YOU look crazy.

Completely depends on the tone.

Wrong. I have gotten one of these letters when I had broken it off when an ex-fiancee to say he had been cheating on me for more than a year. The tone was nice "women sticking out for women" bull. I was really angry. I would have preferred not to get such a letter. I was very upset someone thought they had the right to but into my life. People should mind their own business. No one has any idea what goes on in someone's relationship and they have no right to "out" anyone. It is not their business. Despite her nice tone, I thought the woman was a nutcase.

I think in this situation when the marriages have been over 20 years in length and there are children involved on both sides, it's VERY DIFFERENT than a person you weren't even married to yet. You cannot begin to understand the ramifications of the cheater's actions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sending a letter like that makes YOU look crazy.

Completely depends on the tone.

Wrong. I have gotten one of these letters when I had broken it off when an ex-fiancee to say he had been cheating on me for more than a year. The tone was nice "women sticking out for women" bull. I was really angry. I would have preferred not to get such a letter. I was very upset someone thought they had the right to but into my life. People should mind their own business. No one has any idea what goes on in someone's relationship and they have no right to "out" anyone. It is not their business. Despite her nice tone, I thought the woman was a nutcase.

If the other woman issued a sincere apology, OP I would let it go. However, if the other woman was nasty and took zero responsibility for her part in causing harm and distress to another woman and her family. Zero remorse. The least you could do is realize you contributed to the destruction of a family and that your morals were whacked for whatever reason. When you turn it about you---"I was in a bad place", "It would have been anyone else", "Why are you trying to ruin my family (UMMM..HELLO! what do you think YOU DID to mine??), then I can see wanting to blow up her world.

An apology goes a long way to somebody that you harmed by YOUR actions, your intent was to find a new husband. If you knew about the AP's wife, researched her, stalked her....and then you get nasty when you are found out by her. Sorry--nobody owes you anything.

All the OW had to do was say ....sorry. It goes a long way in diffusing the situation. When the OW gets self-righteous and combative and does not own any responsibility to the affect her actions did to others---all gloves are off. Spouse will be notified.

+1

"I'm so sorry." That's very easy to say and goes a long way. If OW/OM are disgusting enough to not even provide that, they are garbage human beings with zero concern for doing harm to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would totally tell him. Right away. No one deserves to be treated so poorly.

So what if you told him?

And you are correct, no one does deserve to be treated poorly - the irony!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sending a letter like that makes YOU look crazy.

Completely depends on the tone.

Wrong. I have gotten one of these letters when I had broken it off when an ex-fiancee to say he had been cheating on me for more than a year. The tone was nice "women sticking out for women" bull. I was really angry. I would have preferred not to get such a letter. I was very upset someone thought they had the right to but into my life. People should mind their own business. No one has any idea what goes on in someone's relationship and they have no right to "out" anyone. It is not their business. Despite her nice tone, I thought the woman was a nutcase.

Wrong it was OP's married gf and her no good husband that brought ALL of them into their lives. At that point it's everyone's business because kids, finances, and health issues could be involved. If you want too talks about "rights", it wasn't their right to cheat on their spouses and kids putting everyone into that situation.

The only nutcases are the cheaters, not the ones exposing them. OP needs to call him or send a short letter, but yes he should know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, sorry PP, keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. I’m an alpha woman who initiated an affair with a married man because I could, not because I am lacking in self-esteem or self-worth. I definitely don’t “feel low” about myself, but it’s not worth explaining to you because you won’t believe me, regardless. Whatever helps you sleep at night!

- 30 year old who makes $350k/ year in finance and can date any guy I want

Anyone can give their p*ssy away. Give me a break.

You are proving the point. You chose to initiate an affair with somebody already married. You are dysfunctional and not hot enough to get your own single man. Why do you want a cheater? Somebody else’s garbage?

What a whore and proud of it. Mom and Dad must be so proud.

That sad thing is she gets her validation by her income. So even with a nice income (if you believe a liar/cheater) she is still messed up. PP didn't get the basics at home otherwise she would know married people are off limits. Yes cheating is a sign of low self esteem, and other problems. Income doesn't matter fyi. In fact, I recently watched the series on Epstein. Very rich, but very disturbed. PP I hope you do better for yourself in life.