What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?

[Anonymous]

I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions. I mean, what’s the point?

[Anonymous]

How did Bob Marley like his sandwiches made? With jammin.

[Anonymous]

The hunter joke is the best one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two dogs and a cat go to Heaven. They are brought before God. God asks the first dog why he should be allowed into Heaven. The dog says that he was loyal and protected his family including once stopping a robber from entering the house. God tells the dog he is good and that he can sit to God's left. God asks the second dog why he should be allowed into Heaven. The dog says that he was trained to help rescue people and once tracked down a hiker who was lost and brought them back to safety before they died. God tells the second dog that he is good and he can sit to God's right. God turns to the cat who says "I believe you're sitting in my chair."

Might beat hunter joke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Forget how is goes exactly but its something like:

Two hunters are in the woods, when one of them steps on a rattlesnake which bites him in the groin. The second hunter says don't worry, I will call the doctor and get some help. The second hunter calls 911 and they tell him he will "have to suck the poison from the wound and spit it out to save his friend". The hunter turns to his wounded friend who asks "well what did they say?"... to which the second hunter says "they said your gonna die"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother committed suicide but I don’t mind dark humor suicide jokes. I could totally understand someone not finding them funny but I do. That’s the thing about humor- it’s very individual. I think the pp of holocaust joke fame was clear that s/he wouldn’t tell it to people who might be sensitive to it. That seems polite to me. Recognizing That other people WOULD in fact find it funny.

Not to mention, that poster doesn't even know if her uncle would find the joke funny or not, she/he has decided ON HIS BEHALF that he would be offended.

[Anonymous]

I saw your mama kicking a can down the road. When I asked her, "What are you doing?" she said, "Moving."

[Anonymous]

I haven't slept for 10 days!
Why?
Because that would be way too long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I saw your mama kicking a can down the road. When I asked her, "What are you doing?" she said, "Moving."

Omg I was going to post this one! Always made me laugh growing up.

[Anonymous]

A guy at been fishing with his friend at the same pond every Thursday evening for 15 years. He told his friend, “It’s my birthday next week and my wife wants to do something with me, so I won’t be here.”
The next Thursday, he showed up as usual.
His friend said, “Why are you here?”
The guy said, “When I got home, my wife was wearing lingerie, and holding some rope. She said, ‘You can tie me up and do whatever you want.’
So here I am.”

[Anonymous]

JACK: I just left my job. I couldn’t stay after what my boss said to me.

JERRY: What did she say?

JACK: “You’re fired.”

[Anonymous]

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

[Anonymous]

An oxymoron walked into a bar. The silence was deafening.

[Anonymous]

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry to sound mean, but these are terrible “jokes”.

So put up or shut up. What joke so you find funnier than all of the ones here?

Or do you not have one?-

Still waiting for a link or retelling of a joke you find comparatively hilarious. I bet it's a great one.

The invitation remains open. I am interested in what you might bring to the table.