Found nude pics on DHs phone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If legit his over reaction to her question is awfully suspicious. He wouldn't be doing himself any favors.

Dude is obviously sick and tired of dealing with the OP. He rolled out and has made no attempt to reach out and repair things making it quite evident he’s done with her and isn’t interested in “doing himself a favor” and getting back in her good graces. He’s had it.

Nope, playing the victim to throw her off the track. He's over acting which makes him guilty. She's on to his sickness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If legit his over reaction to her question is awfully suspicious. He wouldn't be doing himself any favors.

Dude is obviously sick and tired of dealing with the OP. He rolled out and has made no attempt to reach out and repair things making it quite evident he’s done with her and isn’t interested in “doing himself a favor” and getting back in her good graces. He’s had it.

Nope, playing the victim to throw her off the track. He's over acting which makes him guilty. She's on to his sickness.

Dude couldn’t care less about looking guilty in OP’s eyes. He’s still relatively young, he’s got a side piece who’s 10x hotter and if it is, in fact, his boss he’s giddy about the promotions to come. Nope dude is ready to be rid of OP and odds are while she’s dragging her feet wondering what to think he’s probably lawyered up and ready to roll with divorce proceedings. Shout out to the dude who knows his worth and isn’t willing to sacrifice his sanity anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's even say that your DH didn't cheat and those pictures were innocent. Is it a normal reaction to get so mad at being "falsely accused" that you have to leave the house and not answer your spouse's calls? I think not.

Oh shut up you don't know this guy's temperament and as annoying as the OP is the way she creates 2/3 posts a week whining about one thing or another I'd say it was WISE on his part to leave the house before he ended up having a brain aneurysm from her nagging and dying.

You're acting as if the OP made up this accusation completely out of nowhere (assuming it is real and OP is not a troll.) If nude photos are found a phone, it is perfectly reasonable to question cheating. And if you can't understand that and won't put effort in to clear up the misunderstanding - if there is one - than you should probably just be single. Nothing wrong with that, but it's a bit much to become irate about it when it is a perfectly logical accusation. Again, all of this is assuming the OP didn't behave like a complete psycho and didn't chase him out of the house with a frying pan or some other shenanigans.

You only go to cheating immediately if you don't trust your husband. If I found nudes on my husband phone, I would not think he is cheating. I would think he is getting himself worked up to come home and have sex with me. Maybe I take this view because I still have AMAZING sex with my husband all these years later, unlike most DCUM women.

Your husband looks at nude photos of other women so he can get turned on enough to have sex with you? I wouldn’t be bragging about that. Why doesn’t he have nude photos of you on his phone to get worked up over?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Your choice to lie tells me everything I need to know. Please find another place to sleep tonight while I process what I want to do next.”

+1 I'm not going to become Inspector Gadget but I'm not putting up with it either.

+2 - No way in hell will I snoop on my husband or live with a cheater. People always eventually get caught....I don't have time to snoop. Plus, if I feel like I have to snoop, then I want a divorce.

I understand what you're saying. I completely trusted my husband and never would have dreamed of snooping on him until I accidentally stumbled over incontrovertible evidence that he had been unfaithful. When confronted, he lied, just like OP's DH.

Once DH lied to me, I no longer felt he was no longer entitled to any presumption of trust. I knew at that moment that the marriage was over. Yes, I could have dumped him right then and walked away without any remorse.

BUT, I choose to snoop, and snoop thoroughly I did. I went through everything I legally had access to -- computers in the home, bills, phone records, bank records, car mileage, etc. What I found was a real eye-opener - DH had far more problems than just 1 inappropriate relationship. I ended the marriage and have never once looked back or had any remorse or doubts, and I was able to make wiser custody and child support decisions based on what I found out.

Had I not known the real facts, I would have been much more susceptible to DH"s ongoing gas-lighting and lying, which didn't end with our marriage. I would have been much more susceptible to the pressure from friends and relatives to reconcile. And, I would have been much more susceptible to pressure from therapists (therapists!!) who advocated reconciliation, forgiveness and deciding to trust again.

So, while I agree with you about not wanting to live with someone you feel has to be snooped on, I do think there's a value to it, even if it's likely that you will still breakup with them.

This is exactly right.
The guy
1) had a photo of a middle aged blond on his phone. Apparently, this was not normal for him, whether she was hot or not.
2) when asked about it, he lied. He didn't say it was porn. He didn't say a buddy sent it to him.
3) he deleted the photo and tried to gaslight OP (who is smarter than that) and say it wasn't there.
4) he went over the top defensive and went to his parent's house for the night. Or to his AP's house. Doesn't matter, that reaction was not the reaction of a totally innocent person.
5) he didn't answer, even by text, her calls over night. Why not? Because he was boinking his AP.

He deserves no trust, no presumption of innocence. Because he isn't giving trustworthy, honest answers.

OP has every right to snoop and be upset. Even if this was his 3rd grade teacher and it was totally innocent because that's what they did back in the day, his decision to lie, gaslight, and storm out like SHE was the crazy one puts him in the wrong.

[Anonymous]

Please post pics on imgur and share with us

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here. ladies.

men will send other men (their freinds) pics of women. sometimes men will save pics on their phone of these women. because Damn. some women are very appealing to look at.

It doesn't mean that we don't find our wives attractive or desirable. Its just a a different woman to look at.

It's like going to a restaurant. Just because we like to look at the desert menu doesn't mean we will ever order food from it.

Do your friends ever say “Don’t send me that. It will cause problems with my wife.”?

Different man here, never in my life have I heard a man say this. If someone said this to me I would assume he was being sarcastic, unless he told me his wife has his password so please send it to me in my burner email.

Op, just confront him. You will be able to tell by his reaction. Worst case scenario it's his boss and perhaps you can nip this in the bud before it becomes physical.

Agree with others, it's the potential cheating that's the issue, not him looking at naked women

LOL, no way does he have nude pics of this woman if it's not already physical.

Not true. I've have several online flirty relationships where there has been an exchange. Others where they were sent without asking. Some people enjoy exhibitionism and reaffirming their beauty thru the eyes of others. Oh, and I've never shared any of those photos with anyone.

Wait, are you married? Who are you having these online flirtations with?

Been having them for 20+ years. Various forums, online groups and chat rooms. Who knows, some may have replied in this post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm so sorry. He is clearly going with "the best defense is an offense" approach. I'm betting he wasn't at his parents'.

Stop calling him. You know what you saw. If it were just porn, he would not have reacted this way. First he denies there are photos at all, then says it's probably accidentally saved p*rn, then gets mad at YOU. I'm guessing if he found d*ck pics on your phone, he wouldn't just shrug it off. He is gaslighting you and he is NOT sorry.

Call his parents house directly "looking for him". When his mom asks why should he be here, you can say "he told me he was spending the night at your place!"
See where it goes.

I would have driven right over there to confirm or deny that myself. At 11pm or 2am or both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's even say that your DH didn't cheat and those pictures were innocent. Is it a normal reaction to get so mad at being "falsely accused" that you have to leave the house and not answer your spouse's calls? I think not.

X1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do think it is his boss, the photo just seemed so familiar. They both work for a liberal think-tank in DC, and they do travel together and work late. DH has been upset lately due to all the Trump $#it in the news, and he knows my lobbying job is to enforce some of the Admin's environmental policies - and that has caused some stress in our relationship.

Yeah, I can understand that. When Trump gets me upset, it causes an uncontrollable urge in me to bang other woman. It's not my fault at it. It's Trump's fault. Damn, we need Trump for another 4 years. People still haven't thought of enough stuff to blame him for.

LOL

I'm thinking OP is a troll especially with the Trump line.

If so, bravo. Most interesting read on here in weeks/months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm so sorry. He is clearly going with "the best defense is an offense" approach. I'm betting he wasn't at his parents'.

Stop calling him. You know what you saw. If it were just porn, he would not have reacted this way. First he denies there are photos at all, then says it's probably accidentally saved p*rn, then gets mad at YOU. I'm guessing if he found d*ck pics on your phone, he wouldn't just shrug it off. He is gaslighting you and he is NOT sorry.

Call his parents house directly "looking for him". When his mom asks why should he be here, you can say "he told me he was spending the night at your place!"
See where it goes.

I would have driven right over there to confirm or deny that myself. At 11pm or 2am or both.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Your choice to lie tells me everything I need to know. Please find another place to sleep tonight while I process what I want to do next.”

+1 I'm not going to become Inspector Gadget but I'm not putting up with it either.

+2 - No way in hell will I snoop on my husband or live with a cheater. People always eventually get caught....I don't have time to snoop. Plus, if I feel like I have to snoop, then I want a divorce.

I understand what you're saying. I completely trusted my husband and never would have dreamed of snooping on him until I accidentally stumbled over incontrovertible evidence that he had been unfaithful. When confronted, he lied, just like OP's DH.

Once DH lied to me, I no longer felt he was no longer entitled to any presumption of trust. I knew at that moment that the marriage was over. Yes, I could have dumped him right then and walked away without any remorse.

BUT, I choose to snoop, and snoop thoroughly I did. I went through everything I legally had access to -- computers in the home, bills, phone records, bank records, car mileage, etc. What I found was a real eye-opener - DH had far more problems than just 1 inappropriate relationship. I ended the marriage and have never once looked back or had any remorse or doubts, and I was able to make wiser custody and child support decisions based on what I found out.

Had I not known the real facts, I would have been much more susceptible to DH"s ongoing gas-lighting and lying, which didn't end with our marriage. I would have been much more susceptible to the pressure from friends and relatives to reconcile. And, I would have been much more susceptible to pressure from therapists (therapists!!) who advocated reconciliation, forgiveness and deciding to trust again.

So, while I agree with you about not wanting to live with someone you feel has to be snooped on, I do think there's a value to it, even if it's likely that you will still breakup with them.

I actually agree with you. But, you didn't find the evidence because you were snooping, it was accidentally uncovered. Once you have a reason, then that's different. Especially if you are moving towards divorce. The point I was trying to make... if you are constantly snooping because you suspect, then you probably already know the answer.

My husband started lying about all sorts of stuff. I then found a bunch of bank accounts via snooping around and now we’re separated. Speaking is futile since there is no trust and too many lies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it was porn, why wouldn’t he keep the face?

If it’s his boss and if she gets fired, he could get her job.

That's pretty much a standard in the non-porn sharing of pics. Rule #1. Never show your face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If legit his over reaction to her question is awfully suspicious. He wouldn't be doing himself any favors.

Dude is obviously sick and tired of dealing with the OP. He rolled out and has made no attempt to reach out and repair things making it quite evident he’s done with her and isn’t interested in “doing himself a favor” and getting back in her good graces. He’s had it.

Nope, playing the victim to throw her off the track. He's over acting which makes him guilty. She's on to his sickness.

Dude couldn’t care less about looking guilty in OP’s eyes. He’s still relatively young, he’s got a side piece who’s 10x hotter and if it is, in fact, his boss he’s giddy about the promotions to come. Nope dude is ready to be rid of OP and odds are while she’s dragging her feet wondering what to think he’s probably lawyered up and ready to roll with divorce proceedings. Shout out to the dude who knows his worth and isn’t willing to sacrifice his sanity anymore.

He clearly cares a whole lot, actually. He deleted the photo, lied, is now backtracking and saying it was just p*rn, got mad at her and then ran away to hide like a pitiful little boy. Sad.

If he were any kind of person with integrity, he would have ended his marriage before starting up something new. But he is a scared weakling with no character... as all cheaters are. Therefore "his worth" is nil. OP can't see it right now, but losing a person like that is no loss.

[Anonymous]

Did he surface yet, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If legit his over reaction to her question is awfully suspicious. He wouldn't be doing himself any favors.

Dude is obviously sick and tired of dealing with the OP. He rolled out and has made no attempt to reach out and repair things making it quite evident he’s done with her and isn’t interested in “doing himself a favor” and getting back in her good graces. He’s had it.

Nope, playing the victim to throw her off the track. He's over acting which makes him guilty. She's on to his sickness.

Dude couldn’t care less about looking guilty in OP’s eyes. He’s still relatively young, he’s got a side piece who’s 10x hotter and if it is, in fact, his boss he’s giddy about the promotions to come. Nope dude is ready to be rid of OP and odds are while she’s dragging her feet wondering what to think he’s probably lawyered up and ready to roll with divorce proceedings. Shout out to the dude who knows his worth and isn’t willing to sacrifice his sanity anymore.

He clearly cares a whole lot, actually. He deleted the photo, lied, is now backtracking and saying it was just p*rn, got mad at her and then ran away to hide like a pitiful little boy. Sad.

If he were any kind of person with integrity, he would have ended his marriage before starting up something new. But he is a scared weakling with no character... as all cheaters are. Therefore "his worth" is nil. OP can't see it right now, but losing a person like that is no loss.

Gimme a break.

If OP was all that and a bag of chips then dude wouldn't be ogling other women on his phone.
If OP was all that and a bag of chips then dude wouldn't lie and be totally unapologetic about it.
If OP was all that and a bag of chips then dude wouldn't have just stormed off and cut off all contact.

If OP was all that and a bag of chips then dude would drool over pics of her instead of other women.
If OP was all that and a bag of chips then dude would come clean and not lie making things worse.
If OP was all that and a bag of chips then dude would be crying/begging/pleading for forgiveness because he can't stand the thought of living without her.

So evidently the OP ain't all she's cracked up to be nor is she the best things since sliced bread either.