Found nude pics on DHs phone

[Anonymous]

You’re not being stealthy when you keep confronting him. Stop doing this until you have all the information you want and have made a decision on what you want to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re not being stealthy when you keep confronting him. Stop doing this until you have all the information you want and have made a decision on what you want to do.

I know from experience that it's extremely hard not to confront, but this is good advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I have been awake all night being in investigative mode. I woke up DH this morning and asked him why he was out till 2 am last night. He said he was out with his boss. I said thats cool but was there someone else? He said what are you talking about? I asked how is your girlfriend? He says I am annoying him and I need to stop. I say well you stay out till 2 am so surely there is someone else. He says he is married and I should stop saying such disgusting things. I say I am not but I find it suspicious that he is out so late on a week night. He says I am psycho and that I should go to work and leave him alone!

I am now at work and feeling intolerably alone and devastated. I did not sleep a wink last night. I am exhausted and traumatized. My world and everything I knew is crashing around me. I know I must be stealthy and continue to get to the bottom of this as he will not become truthful. But I want to slap him and confront him today. How am I supposed to go to bed with him?

You already did get to the bottom of it. He is cheating. Now decide what you want to do.

[Anonymous]

OP - you should forward the nude picture to your email. Then doctor the email and go to DH and tell him that you are being propositioned by this lady!!! I think that would be funny!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I have been awake all night being in investigative mode. I woke up DH this morning and asked him why he was out till 2 am last night. He said he was out with his boss. I said thats cool but was there someone else? He said what are you talking about? I asked how is your girlfriend? He says I am annoying him and I need to stop. I say well you stay out till 2 am so surely there is someone else. He says he is married and I should stop saying such disgusting things. I say I am not but I find it suspicious that he is out so late on a week night. He says I am psycho and that I should go to work and leave him alone!

I am now at work and feeling intolerably alone and devastated. I did not sleep a wink last night. I am exhausted and traumatized. My world and everything I knew is crashing around me. I know I must be stealthy and continue to get to the bottom of this as he will not become truthful. But I want to slap him and confront him today. How am I supposed to go to bed with him?

I am going to be as gentle as I can here, because I've been where you are.

You are in an awful place. I am so so sorry this is happening to you. But this is the moment where you need to be strong. Call an attorney. Make a plan. Tell him to get out.

I know this is all overwhelming and awful, but the die has been cast. You didn't do it. He did. All you can do right now is figure out whether you are going to handle yourself with dignity or not. You can't undo what has been done, so just figure out how to exit your marriage with your finances intact, as much custody as you want, and feeling like you took the high road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now he’s on to you. I would do a 180 and fake apologize to him for snooping on his phone and say something like, “I know you’d never do something like that.” And then track EVERYTHING. He’s going to expect that you are pissed so be the opposite, it will allow you some time gather info.

I like this idea, but apologizing may be a bit much. Pretend to brush it off and buy his explanation so he hopefully won't feel the need to start taking it all more underground and hide everything. Then investigate.

Read the above OP! This is what you need to do.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I confronted him this morning.

He first screamed at me for snooping at his phone and how he can’t be with someone who snoops on him. He then started screaming, “ I want a divorce!” “ I want a divorce!” He begins packing his bag. I run to the door and block it saying I love you. You can’t leave. He yells at me to move aside or he’ll call the cops . I tell him to calm down and to stop being crazy. He screams he’s going to punch a hole in the wall if I don’t let him through. I move aside and he runs out screaming I want a divorce!

I am sitting here my body is shaking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I confronted him this morning.

He first screamed at me for snooping at his phone and how he can’t be with someone who snoops on him. He then started screaming, “ I want a divorce!” “ I want a divorce!” He begins packing his bag. I run to the door and block it saying I love you. You can’t leave. He yells at me to move aside or he’ll call the cops . I tell him to calm down and to stop being crazy. He screams he’s going to punch a hole in the wall if I don’t let him through. I move aside and he runs out screaming I want a divorce!

I am sitting here my body is shaking.

I am sorry OP. The proverbial bandaid has been ripped off. He was caught and confronted. He wants out. Time to print out and copy all financial records while you can. Do this before he returns. Find a good divorce lawyer and a therapist so you can move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I confronted him this morning.

He first screamed at me for snooping at his phone and how he can’t be with someone who snoops on him. He then started screaming, “ I want a divorce!” “ I want a divorce!” He begins packing his bag. I run to the door and block it saying I love you. You can’t leave. He yells at me to move aside or he’ll call the cops . I tell him to calm down and to stop being crazy. He screams he’s going to punch a hole in the wall if I don’t let him through. I move aside and he runs out screaming I want a divorce!

I am sitting here my body is shaking.

Calm yourself down. Do you really want to be with someone who doesn't want you? Is that what you have dreamed of for your life? This marriage is over. There are other, better, men out there. Get your kids and your money and get free so you can be happy and not have to deal with this cheater and his BS

[Anonymous]

Op, read chump lady now and get a lawyer and therapist.

Do not beg, ILY or anything else. Please.

I'm so sorry. Do you have kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, read chump lady now and get a lawyer and therapist.

Do not beg, ILY or anything else. Please.

I'm so sorry. Do you have kids?

No kids.

He took our car. I have no car to get around. I had booked a room at a nearby hotel and was packing to load my things. I can’t get around or go to work. Wtf?

[Anonymous]

Op first thing tomorrow morning you need to go to your joint bank account and take out 1/2 of what is in there. Transfer it to a new account now if you have an account only I. Your name. You need to get a divorce attorney. Why on earth would you beg someone to stay with you who doesn’t want to be with you? Be strong. You will be happy again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, read chump lady now and get a lawyer and therapist.

Do not beg, ILY or anything else. Please.

I'm so sorry. Do you have kids?

No kids.

He took our car. I have no car to get around. I had booked a room at a nearby hotel and was packing to load my things. I can’t get around or go to work. Wtf?

Uber and Lyft

[Anonymous]

Sorry, but we warned you to get a plan in order before confronting more. You need to clam down and think this through. Know your finances. Today is your separation date - get a record of where all your finances for both of you are as of today. Catch an Uber or rent a car if needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but we warned you to get a plan in order before confronting more. You need to clam down and think this through. Know your finances. Today is your separation date - get a record of where all your finances for both of you are as of today. Catch an Uber or rent a car if needed.

I don’t have much money and all financia information is on the laptop which he took.