S/O Why do you care if moms stay home?

[Anonymous]

Finally, it just seems like there is a lot of wasted potential when brilliant, well-educated women feel pressured to stop working, go part-time, or decide to "mommy-track" their careers in ways that men rarely wrestle with. I feel there's more benefit to society when women don't solely look inward towards their own families, but also use their talents for the good of larger society. If more women work, maybe laws that support working mothers will increase.

My sister in Canada did not have to leave the workforce. She was given paid maternity leave for a year for each child she had. Her employment also gives her flexible schedule and she can work remotely.

Yes, US sucks and it is a wasted opportunity and potential. I think WOHMs should start advocating for paid maternity leave, flexible schedule and work space and EQUAL PAY, instead of rolling over and short charging their own children and families.

No. I refuse to fu*king "LEAN IN" and ignore my kids. The work culture is toxic and exploitative to women, and the WOHMs are complicit in not speaking up against it. Save the sanctimony and be smart enough to heap abuse on your oppressors instead of being irrationally jealous of SAHMs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a wohm. I admit that it’s a constant struggle between wanting to spend time with kids but also working. I want both! I spent so many years in school and am excited about my career. I also love my kids! I look for flexible jobs that will allow me to be home early to pick them up from preschool.

I sometimes feel guilty when sahms say, “i want to be there for my kids,” “family first,” “i could never send them to daycare/nanny,” “can’t trust anyone,” etc.

At work, I feel bad for having to draw the line and say I can’t do certain things bc of my kids.

It would be amazing if the sahms and wohms, non parents - EVERYONE- understood that raising good kids is a benefit to society. If that means wohms who have more flexible schedules offer other wohms to carpool more or sahms offer to help the wahms bc they have more time, that would be great! Employers understanding that parents (not just moms) need flexibility is amaing. We need everyone to help each other and not just focus on our nuclear family. If we did this, society would be so mich better off

I don't. Seriously, I don't care what you do, but the minute a woman says something suggesting that women who work don't love their kids as much, I write them off as a piece of shit. Seriously. I don't care what you do, but insinuating that other mothers don't love their kids makes you a garbage person. Period. It's worse, IMO, than thinking that women who stay at home are lazy or whatever.

Do whatever you want--work, don't--but keep your sanctimonious self-justification to yourself.

I am a SAHM who could never put my infant in daycare, but I don’t think that mean I love my kids more than someone who has no problem putting their child in daycare. I see that most daycare families are happy and healthy. I would never say unprompted to a WOHM that I couldn’t put my baby in daycare, but if you really really pressed me for the truth, then that’s what it would be. I sort of liken it to open marriages - like I have friends with open marriages and they seem very happy, abd I’m happy for them, but I could never do it. Anyway, I think this is why it’s best to just not talk about reasons for staying home or working - just get the information and move on to another topic.

I can't believe you just compared putting an infant in daycare to open marriage.

We know all we need to know about you right there. Stop pretending you are tolerant of others' choices. You are the epitome of the sanctimonious self-justification type. Did you post the eye-opener post, too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Finally, it just seems like there is a lot of wasted potential when brilliant, well-educated women feel pressured to stop working, go part-time, or decide to "mommy-track" their careers in ways that men rarely wrestle with. I feel there's more benefit to society when women don't solely look inward towards their own families, but also use their talents for the good of larger society. If more women work, maybe laws that support working mothers will increase.

My sister in Canada did not have to leave the workforce. She was given paid maternity leave for a year for each child she had. Her employment also gives her flexible schedule and she can work remotely.

Yes, US sucks and it is a wasted opportunity and potential. I think WOHMs should start advocating for paid maternity leave, flexible schedule and work space and EQUAL PAY, instead of rolling over and short charging their own children and families.

No. I refuse to fu*king "LEAN IN" and ignore my kids. The work culture is toxic and exploitative to women, and the WOHMs are complicit in not speaking up against it. Save the sanctimony and be smart enough to heap abuse on your oppressors instead of being irrationally jealous of SAHMs.

The US has a sick culture when it comes to working. We venerate workaholism at the expense of living a happy, fulfilling personal life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just give adult women the credit of being able to make good choices for their own circumstances, whatever those might be?

For some, that is working. For others, it is staying home. For many, it is a combination.

For many women, it's deciding not to have kids at all!

All choices are valid.

+ 1

It's just like the pro choice movement. Being pro choice /= pro abortion. It just means you think women are capable and should have the right to make their own choices regarding whether and when to have a child.

Being a feminist doesn't mean you think all women should have to work 50 + hour weeks in a formerly male dominated high power profession. It means you think they should have the opportunity to do so if they wish.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Finally, it just seems like there is a lot of wasted potential when brilliant, well-educated women feel pressured to stop working, go part-time, or decide to "mommy-track" their careers in ways that men rarely wrestle with. I feel there's more benefit to society when women don't solely look inward towards their own families, but also use their talents for the good of larger society. If more women work, maybe laws that support working mothers will increase.

My sister in Canada did not have to leave the workforce. She was given paid maternity leave for a year for each child she had. Her employment also gives her flexible schedule and she can work remotely.

Yes, US sucks and it is a wasted opportunity and potential. I think WOHMs should start advocating for paid maternity leave, flexible schedule and work space and EQUAL PAY, instead of rolling over and short charging their own children and families.

No. I refuse to fu*king "LEAN IN" and ignore my kids. The work culture is toxic and exploitative to women, and the WOHMs are complicit in not speaking up against it. Save the sanctimony and be smart enough to heap abuse on your oppressors instead of being irrationally jealous of SAHMs.

And so, what have you done to address this issue? How SPECIFICALLY should working moms take up this yoke and change things? I'd love to know what your proposals are.

What do you think about working moms who must work to put food on the table? How do you propose they refuse to lean in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Finally, it just seems like there is a lot of wasted potential when brilliant, well-educated women feel pressured to stop working, go part-time, or decide to "mommy-track" their careers in ways that men rarely wrestle with. I feel there's more benefit to society when women don't solely look inward towards their own families, but also use their talents for the good of larger society. If more women work, maybe laws that support working mothers will increase.

My sister in Canada did not have to leave the workforce. She was given paid maternity leave for a year for each child she had. Her employment also gives her flexible schedule and she can work remotely.

Yes, US sucks and it is a wasted opportunity and potential. I think WOHMs should start advocating for paid maternity leave, flexible schedule and work space and EQUAL PAY, instead of rolling over and short charging their own children and families.

No. I refuse to fu*king "LEAN IN" and ignore my kids. The work culture is toxic and exploitative to women, and the WOHMs are complicit in not speaking up against it. Save the sanctimony and be smart enough to heap abuse on your oppressors instead of being irrationally jealous of SAHMs.

I'm the PP. I'm not sure what specifically you would have working mothers do that we haven't been doing, but I'm all ears.

And for the record, I've never been jealous of SAHMs. I never knew any growing up. My mother worked FT, sometimes multiple jobs when necessary. My grandma worked as a domestic (yes, we're not white). I'm from a long line of hardworking women, and never saw NOT working as an option. I am fortunate to have a job that I like reasonably well and get to use my brain, so in that way, my job differs from other women in my family.

It's interesting to sort of watch this debate from the peanut gallery, but I am genuinely interested in what you'd propose working women do that we're not already doing, to the extent we are able.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Finally, it just seems like there is a lot of wasted potential when brilliant, well-educated women feel pressured to stop working, go part-time, or decide to "mommy-track" their careers in ways that men rarely wrestle with. I feel there's more benefit to society when women don't solely look inward towards their own families, but also use their talents for the good of larger society. If more women work, maybe laws that support working mothers will increase.

My sister in Canada did not have to leave the workforce. She was given paid maternity leave for a year for each child she had. Her employment also gives her flexible schedule and she can work remotely.

Yes, US sucks and it is a wasted opportunity and potential. I think WOHMs should start advocating for paid maternity leave, flexible schedule and work space and EQUAL PAY, instead of rolling over and short charging their own children and families.

No. I refuse to fu*king "LEAN IN" and ignore my kids. The work culture is toxic and exploitative to women, and the WOHMs are complicit in not speaking up against it. Save the sanctimony and be smart enough to heap abuse on your oppressors instead of being irrationally jealous of SAHMs.

I'm the PP. I'm not sure what specifically you would have working mothers do that we haven't been doing, but I'm all ears.

And for the record, I've never been jealous of SAHMs. I never knew any growing up. My mother worked FT, sometimes multiple jobs when necessary. My grandma worked as a domestic (yes, we're not white). I'm from a long line of hardworking women, and never saw NOT working as an option. I am fortunate to have a job that I like reasonably well and get to use my brain, so in that way, my job differs from other women in my family.

It's interesting to sort of watch this debate from the peanut gallery, but I am genuinely interested in what you'd propose working women do that we're not already doing, to the extent we are able.

I don't think she gives a fig about working moms. She's a stay at home who thinks working moms are the devil and she enjoys poking the hornets nest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just give adult women the credit of being able to make good choices for their own circumstances, whatever those might be?

For some, that is working. For others, it is staying home. For many, it is a combination.

For many women, it's deciding not to have kids at all!

All choices are valid.

+ 1

It's just like the pro choice movement. Being pro choice /= pro abortion. It just means you think women are capable and should have the right to make their own choices regarding whether and when to have a child.

Being a feminist doesn't mean you think all women should have to work 50 + hour weeks in a formerly male dominated high power profession. It means you think they should have the opportunity to do so if they wish.

+2

Actually, that is not what feminism is all about. It is about having women be on equal footing with men and working 50+ hour weeks in formerly male dominated high power professions. And it is why I do not really identify and support the true feminist movement, which I think is just another way to force women in to situations in order to exploit them. Eff that. I will do what I want and no one gets to decide what I do except me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not just give adult women the credit of being able to make good choices for their own circumstances, whatever those might be?

For some, that is working. For others, it is staying home. For many, it is a combination.

For many women, it's deciding not to have kids at all!

All choices are valid.

Totally agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Finally, it just seems like there is a lot of wasted potential when brilliant, well-educated women feel pressured to stop working, go part-time, or decide to "mommy-track" their careers in ways that men rarely wrestle with. I feel there's more benefit to society when women don't solely look inward towards their own families, but also use their talents for the good of larger society. If more women work, maybe laws that support working mothers will increase.

My sister in Canada did not have to leave the workforce. She was given paid maternity leave for a year for each child she had. Her employment also gives her flexible schedule and she can work remotely.

Yes, US sucks and it is a wasted opportunity and potential. I think WOHMs should start advocating for paid maternity leave, flexible schedule and work space and EQUAL PAY, instead of rolling over and short charging their own children and families.

No. I refuse to fu*king "LEAN IN" and ignore my kids. The work culture is toxic and exploitative to women, and the WOHMs are complicit in not speaking up against it. Save the sanctimony and be smart enough to heap abuse on your oppressors instead of being irrationally jealous of SAHMs.

I'm the PP. I'm not sure what specifically you would have working mothers do that we haven't been doing, but I'm all ears.

And for the record, I've never been jealous of SAHMs. I never knew any growing up. My mother worked FT, sometimes multiple jobs when necessary. My grandma worked as a domestic (yes, we're not white). I'm from a long line of hardworking women, and never saw NOT working as an option. I am fortunate to have a job that I like reasonably well and get to use my brain, so in that way, my job differs from other women in my family.

It's interesting to sort of watch this debate from the peanut gallery, but I am genuinely interested in what you'd propose working women do that we're not already doing, to the extent we are able.

I don't think she gives a fig about working moms. She's a stay at home who thinks working moms are the devil and she enjoys poking the hornets nest.

Do I spare a thought about other working moms? No. Not exactly. I am glad that I am no longer in their shoes.

Do I feel bad for WOHMs? Well, only those who have no paid maternity leave, who have no support structure in place, who start feeding rice cereal to their newborns so that they can wean off before they return to work, who have substandard childcare, who need to work to fulfill basic needs, and who are paid less than their male counterparts or childless female coworkers. I feel bad that they are the exploited workforce of this country and put on mommy track - much like H1B workers who are kept in limbo for years and paid like shit. I feel bad, but I am not doing anything about it. Just like I do not do anything about Trump, except show up to vote each time.

Put a legislation for giving paid maternity leave to women and other benefits many other countries have in place for them and I will support for voting for it. This is not my fight. And for my own DD and DIL who are local, when they have their kids, I am there to provide childcare for free. Charity begins at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just give adult women the credit of being able to make good choices for their own circumstances, whatever those might be?

For some, that is working. For others, it is staying home. For many, it is a combination.

For many women, it's deciding not to have kids at all!

All choices are valid.

+ 1

It's just like the pro choice movement. Being pro choice /= pro abortion. It just means you think women are capable and should have the right to make their own choices regarding whether and when to have a child.

Being a feminist doesn't mean you think all women should have to work 50 + hour weeks in a formerly male dominated high power profession. It means you think they should have the opportunity to do so if they wish.

+2

Actually, that is not what feminism is all about. It is about having women be on equal footing with men and working 50+ hour weeks in formerly male dominated high power professions. And it is why I do not really identify and support the true feminist movement, which I think is just another way to force women in to situations in order to exploit them. Eff that. I will do what I want and no one gets to decide what I do except me.

No, you really don't get feminism. No one is looking to force women to work 50+ hours a week. Any woman who has children would much prefer to have more family-friendly workplaces. But when we work, we want equal pay when we do the same work as that male colleague. And we want it recognized that we have as much right to be in that workplace as any father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just give adult women the credit of being able to make good choices for their own circumstances, whatever those might be?

For some, that is working. For others, it is staying home. For many, it is a combination.

For many women, it's deciding not to have kids at all!

All choices are valid.

+ 1

It's just like the pro choice movement. Being pro choice /= pro abortion. It just means you think women are capable and should have the right to make their own choices regarding whether and when to have a child.

Being a feminist doesn't mean you think all women should have to work 50 + hour weeks in a formerly male dominated high power profession. It means you think they should have the opportunity to do so if they wish.

+2

Actually, that is not what feminism is all about. It is about having women be on equal footing with men and working 50+ hour weeks in formerly male dominated high power professions. And it is why I do not really identify and support the true feminist movement, which I think is just another way to force women in to situations in order to exploit them. Eff that. I will do what I want and no one gets to decide what I do except me.

No, you really don't get feminism. No one is looking to force women to work 50+ hours a week. Any woman who has children would much prefer to have more family-friendly workplaces. But when we work, we want equal pay when we do the same work as that male colleague. And we want it recognized that we have as much right to be in that workplace as any father.

You clearly haven’t read a lot about the different waves of feminism. Or this thread with all of the crazy people posting how women MUST WORK or else they are somehow harming the movement. Eff that. Do what you want. The end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Finally, it just seems like there is a lot of wasted potential when brilliant, well-educated women feel pressured to stop working, go part-time, or decide to "mommy-track" their careers in ways that men rarely wrestle with. I feel there's more benefit to society when women don't solely look inward towards their own families, but also use their talents for the good of larger society. If more women work, maybe laws that support working mothers will increase.

My sister in Canada did not have to leave the workforce. She was given paid maternity leave for a year for each child she had. Her employment also gives her flexible schedule and she can work remotely.

Yes, US sucks and it is a wasted opportunity and potential. I think WOHMs should start advocating for paid maternity leave, flexible schedule and work space and EQUAL PAY, instead of rolling over and short charging their own children and families.

No. I refuse to fu*king "LEAN IN" and ignore my kids. The work culture is toxic and exploitative to women, and the WOHMs are complicit in not speaking up against it. Save the sanctimony and be smart enough to heap abuse on your oppressors instead of being irrationally jealous of SAHMs.

I'm the PP. I'm not sure what specifically you would have working mothers do that we haven't been doing, but I'm all ears.

And for the record, I've never been jealous of SAHMs. I never knew any growing up. My mother worked FT, sometimes multiple jobs when necessary. My grandma worked as a domestic (yes, we're not white). I'm from a long line of hardworking women, and never saw NOT working as an option. I am fortunate to have a job that I like reasonably well and get to use my brain, so in that way, my job differs from other women in my family.

It's interesting to sort of watch this debate from the peanut gallery, but I am genuinely interested in what you'd propose working women do that we're not already doing, to the extent we are able.

I don't think she gives a fig about working moms. She's a stay at home who thinks working moms are the devil and she enjoys poking the hornets nest.

Do I spare a thought about other working moms? No. Not exactly. I am glad that I am no longer in their shoes.

Do I feel bad for WOHMs? Well, only those who have no paid maternity leave, who have no support structure in place, who start feeding rice cereal to their newborns so that they can wean off before they return to work, who have substandard childcare, who need to work to fulfill basic needs, and who are paid less than their male counterparts or childless female coworkers. I feel bad that they are the exploited workforce of this country and put on mommy track - much like H1B workers who are kept in limbo for years and paid like shit. I feel bad, but I am not doing anything about it. Just like I do not do anything about Trump, except show up to vote each time.

Put a legislation for giving paid maternity leave to women and other benefits many other countries have in place for them and I will support for voting for it. This is not my fight. And for my own DD and DIL who are local, when they have their kids, I am there to provide childcare for free. Charity begins at home.

You really are a piece of work. How many times have you posted on the two threads going? There is a commonality to a bunch of comments from a SAHM who seems very hostile to working moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just give adult women the credit of being able to make good choices for their own circumstances, whatever those might be?

For some, that is working. For others, it is staying home. For many, it is a combination.

For many women, it's deciding not to have kids at all!

All choices are valid.

+ 1

It's just like the pro choice movement. Being pro choice /= pro abortion. It just means you think women are capable and should have the right to make their own choices regarding whether and when to have a child.

Being a feminist doesn't mean you think all women should have to work 50 + hour weeks in a formerly male dominated high power profession. It means you think they should have the opportunity to do so if they wish.

+2

Actually, that is not what feminism is all about. It is about having women be on equal footing with men and working 50+ hour weeks in formerly male dominated high power professions. And it is why I do not really identify and support the true feminist movement, which I think is just another way to force women in to situations in order to exploit them. Eff that. I will do what I want and no one gets to decide what I do except me.

No, you really don't get feminism. No one is looking to force women to work 50+ hours a week. Any woman who has children would much prefer to have more family-friendly workplaces. But when we work, we want equal pay when we do the same work as that male colleague. And we want it recognized that we have as much right to be in that workplace as any father.

You clearly haven’t read a lot about the different waves of feminism. Or this thread with all of the crazy people posting how women MUST WORK or else they are somehow harming the movement. Eff that. Do what you want. The end.

I think that is only one PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This subject makes my head spin. I will never fathom why someone not in my immediate family would care whether I SAH with my own kids. Unreal and so, so insecure.

Similarly, I will never fathom why someone not in my immediate family would care whether I WOH. And yet, based on the comments I've gotten, clearly some people do. See, unfortunately, it works both ways.

You do you, I'll take care of my own family. I have no issues with WOH, SAH, WAH, whatever. I have friends in all those categories. What I don't appreciate are the comments and insinuations that I am somehow "less than" as a mother because my DD is in daycare 40 hours a week.