S/O Why do you care if moms stay home?

[Anonymous]

For people who post that they don't like stay at home moms... answer these questions:

1) How does it affect you?

2) Why do you care?

[Anonymous]

It's defensiveness about our own choices...it's not about other people. I feel the WOHM guilt so i am sure of this. Same for the other direction.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know. It’s sort of like how people think that gay marriage degraded the institution of marriage as a whole. Like SAHMs somehow invalidate WOHMs.

[Anonymous]

I don't really care what people do.

I have a very flexible job and volunteer a lot at school and the SAHMs talk tons of sh!t about working moms. At first they did not know I worked.

My bff is a sahm but she doesn't talk sh!t aboug working moms and really appreciates my nanny.

Technically I just don't like certain sahms.

[Anonymous]

I actually don't care what people do. I just care how they talk about it. And I've found a lot of SAHMs talk about staying home as if I'm all but dooming my kids to prison by being a working mom.

"Do they even know you?"
"Do you die inside when they cry for the nanny instead of you?"
"You'll never get this time back."

[Anonymous]

As a stay at home mom, I can genuinely say I've never once met a working mom and thought "oh god, she works. she's so selfish". WHY would I? Millions of people work. If people didn't work, the world wouldn't turn. I am super supportive of all moms. After all, we're all trying to create a generation of humans. I would never tear down another mom for doing what she thinks is best for HER or her family. I have insecurities around career day personally. I can say "former pre-school teacher" because..well, that's ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a stay at home mom, I can genuinely say I've never once met a working mom and thought "oh god, she works. she's so selfish". WHY would I? Millions of people work. If people didn't work, the world wouldn't turn. I am super supportive of all moms. After all, we're all trying to create a generation of humans. I would never tear down another mom for doing what she thinks is best for HER or her family. I have insecurities around career day personally. I can say "former pre-school teacher" because..well, that's ridiculous.

^^ can't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually don't care what people do. I just care how they talk about it. And I've found a lot of SAHMs talk about staying home as if I'm all but dooming my kids to prison by being a working mom.

"Do they even know you?"
"Do you die inside when they cry for the nanny instead of you?"
"You'll never get this time back."

What a bunch of jerks!

[Anonymous]

The problem is that stay at home moms are still way more common than stay at home dads. That means that working moms are competing for jobs and promotions and raises with men who have wives who stay home. This isn’t the only reason, but I truly think that a big piece of the vitriol towards women who stay at home comes from the ridiculous rat race of our culture.

[Anonymous]

1) it doesn’t affect me on a personal level, but make no mistake it affects me from the level that when they retire, they haven’t paid into the system for however many years. Just coatailling their husband and taking money working people have put into the system through FICA.
Claiming to have “the most important and hardest” job in the world. Sorry babe, once your kids are in elementary school, you are living a life of leisure, stop pretending otherwise.
2) I don’t care other than believing they are lazy and persist on continuing the stereotype of dependence on men versus contributing to equality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) it doesn’t affect me on a personal level, but make no mistake it affects me from the level that when they retire, they haven’t paid into the system for however many years. Just coatailling their husband and taking money working people have put into the system through FICA.
Claiming to have “the most important and hardest” job in the world. Sorry babe, once your kids are in elementary school, you are living a life of leisure, stop pretending otherwise.
2) I don’t care other than believing they are lazy and persist on continuing the stereotype of dependence on men versus contributing to equality.

This exactly. I believe that they are bringing all women down by allowing companies to justify the fact that all women quit when they have kids etc. Even worse when they have daughters and push them so hard academically. SAHMs of a daughter at a fancy private school? And they don’t even see the hypocrisy.

Goes double for those who have degrees from fancy institutions that could’ve gone to someone who would actually use them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually don't care what people do. I just care how they talk about it. And I've found a lot of SAHMs talk about staying home as if I'm all but dooming my kids to prison by being a working mom.

"Do they even know you?"
"Do you die inside when they cry for the nanny instead of you?"
"You'll never get this time back."

Don't forget, "I could never let a stranger raise my child."

But I don't care if moms choose to sah either, except when they have too much time on their hands and get all overly involved in my kid's school and inflict obligations on me that I don't care about or have time for and then want to be appreciated for their "contributions."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) it doesn’t affect me on a personal level, but make no mistake it affects me from the level that when they retire, they haven’t paid into the system for however many years. Just coatailling their husband and taking money working people have put into the system through FICA.
Claiming to have “the most important and hardest” job in the world. Sorry babe, once your kids are in elementary school, you are living a life of leisure, stop pretending otherwise.
2) I don’t care other than believing they are lazy and persist on continuing the stereotype of dependence on men versus contributing to equality.

This exactly. I believe that they are bringing all women down by allowing companies to justify the fact that all women quit when they have kids etc. Even worse when they have daughters and push them so hard academically. SAHMs of a daughter at a fancy private school? And they don’t even see the hypocrisy.

Goes double for those who have degrees from fancy institutions that could’ve gone to someone who would actually use them.

No, I actually think it is people with attitudes like this who bring all women down. Think it through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually don't care what people do. I just care how they talk about it. And I've found a lot of SAHMs talk about staying home as if I'm all but dooming my kids to prison by being a working mom.

"Do they even know you?"
"Do you die inside when they cry for the nanny instead of you?"
"You'll never get this time back."

I agree. I don't really care whether you work or stay at home with your kids. I care if you are a kind person. There are bad actors on both sides who talk sh*t about other moms, because they are insecure about their own choices.

I do take issue with anyone who says one way is the only way to raise children successfully. That is nonsense. If you are involved in your kids lives and they know you love them, if you listen to them, comfort them, advocate for them, it doesn't matter if you work or not. You don't have to work your whole life nor do you have to stay home with your children for any specific period of time for them to grow up to be well-adjusted, successful adults. There is no one-size-fits-all formula. But when is there ever in life? As many PPs have pointed out on many of the (idiotic) threads that pop up here, many women don't exclusively work or exclusively stay home. Many women have different phases to their life dictated in many cases by forces beyond their control.

And, as another PP pointed out on one of these threads recently, why are we going crazy on each other over something that men give little to no thought to? This whole argument is grounded in sexist BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) it doesn’t affect me on a personal level, but make no mistake it affects me from the level that when they retire, they haven’t paid into the system for however many years. Just coatailling their husband and taking money working people have put into the system through FICA.
Claiming to have “the most important and hardest” job in the world. Sorry babe, once your kids are in elementary school, you are living a life of leisure, stop pretending otherwise.
2) I don’t care other than believing they are lazy and persist on continuing the stereotype of dependence on men versus contributing to equality.

This exactly. I believe that they are bringing all women down by allowing companies to justify the fact that all women quit when they have kids etc. Even worse when they have daughters and push them so hard academically. SAHMs of a daughter at a fancy private school? And they don’t even see the hypocrisy.

Goes double for those who have degrees from fancy institutions that could’ve gone to someone who would actually use them.

No, I actually think it is people with attitudes like this who bring all women down. Think it through.

Yes. Depending on your husband’s salary and being totally impotent without him - And with no identity outside of your husband and children - completely raises up women.

Do you look yourself in the mirror believing in this?