Non-famous but frequent DCUM posters

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then you shouldn’t have...poster.
Should’ve have married DH, shouldn’t have had kids etc.

yes -- don't know if that is one poster but its insidious.

Is this the same as “Divorce.” poster?

DH leaves the toilet seat up. Divorce
DH gets mad at DD. Divorce
DH is friendly with our realtor. Divorce.

OMG yes. The "I'd be talking to a divorce lawyer if my DH did XYZ poster." 99% of the US population would be divorced if we followed her advice.

Eh I'm not this poster but I have to say that like ~ 90% of the women who post about their man child husbands should divorce them and find better men, ones who are at least trainable. You shouldn't have to do the majority of the house and kid stuff and work just because you have a vagina.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "I don't drink alcohol and people just have water at parties but I can't swallow my food without something delicious to wash it down" poster. I don't care if people drink but she was just so weird about the washing food down bit.

This was one of the most fascinating and oddly frustrating threads of late. I relished every page.

I'm the OP of the no alcohol/water thread and I still stand by my original assertion that there should be more than just water offered at dinner parties. I'm having a big party this weekend, serving a nice dinner and here's what I'm offering as beverages (no alcohol): water, lemonade, sparkling cranberry juice, and orange juice.

I would think it was so weird if OJ was offered.

Right? Who is drinking orange juice at a dinner party?

+1. Very weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "I don't drink alcohol and people just have water at parties but I can't swallow my food without something delicious to wash it down" poster. I don't care if people drink but she was just so weird about the washing food down bit.

This was one of the most fascinating and oddly frustrating threads of late. I relished every page.

I'm the OP of the no alcohol/water thread and I still stand by my original assertion that there should be more than just water offered at dinner parties. I'm having a big party this weekend, serving a nice dinner and here's what I'm offering as beverages (no alcohol): water, lemonade, sparkling cranberry juice, and orange juice.

I would think it was so weird if OJ was offered.

+1
I'd be looking for champagne and wondering if it was actually brunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "I don't drink alcohol and people just have water at parties but I can't swallow my food without something delicious to wash it down" poster. I don't care if people drink but she was just so weird about the washing food down bit.

This was one of the most fascinating and oddly frustrating threads of late. I relished every page.

I'm the OP of the no alcohol/water thread and I still stand by my original assertion that there should be more than just water offered at dinner parties. I'm having a big party this weekend, serving a nice dinner and here's what I'm offering as beverages (no alcohol): water, lemonade, sparkling cranberry juice, and orange juice.

I would think it was so weird if OJ was offered.

Right? Who is drinking orange juice at a dinner party?

My 2 y/o would love it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There was a poster, a few years ago I think, who was upset and offended that her family seemed hungry/wanted to order more food after she’d made them a home-cooked dinner. Only to find that she was feeding them next to nothing. She would post her menu and quantities and seemed genuinely puzzled that, for example, a stir fry with vegetables only and 2 chicken breasts total was not enough to feed her family of 6, two of whom were teenage athlete boys. She posted with her menu a number of times, and then (hopefully) took the hint that she should just feed them more.

She would crack me up. She cooked one rack of ribs once for everyone to split and was confused how everyone was still hungry.

I remember her! Giggling at the posts.

Her problem was that she couldn't get through her head that a middle age woman watching her weight and a teen athlete required different portion sizes. Even her husband who weight significantly more than her and had a moderately active life was given her weight-watcher portion. The only one who actually ate as much as she did was her pre-school child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love holiday threads, because I know “Watching Gone With the Wind on AMC While I Make Pies the Night Before Thanksgiving Poster” will drop in to tell us all about how she drinks wine and watches Gone With the Wind on AMC while making pies the night before Thanksgiving.

This sounds like so much fun! I might try it this Thanksgiving!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "I don't drink alcohol and people just have water at parties but I can't swallow my food without something delicious to wash it down" poster. I don't care if people drink but she was just so weird about the washing food down bit.

This was one of the most fascinating and oddly frustrating threads of late. I relished every page.

I'm the OP of the no alcohol/water thread and I still stand by my original assertion that there should be more than just water offered at dinner parties. I'm having a big party this weekend, serving a nice dinner and here's what I'm offering as beverages (no alcohol): water, lemonade, sparkling cranberry juice, and orange juice.

I would think it was so weird if OJ was offered.

Right? Who is drinking orange juice at a dinner party?

I once worked a side job as a bartender at a private party for the WEIRDEST household I have ever encountered. Like it was almost Grey Gardens type shit in a dilapidated mansion with two old men living together as roommates. I showed up and for the entire party the host had bought one 12 pack of Heineken, a half case of 3 buck Chuck, and 2 cartons of orange juice.

I told him that was definitely not going to be enough for everybody (they expected about 50-60 people) and asked if he wanted me to go to the store and get more drinks. He said "no, I have some liquor somewhere," and came back with half a bottle of tequila and an armful of liqueurs and apertifs, then proceeded to mix them all together in a bowl with the orange juice and said "it's my signature drink." Sure buddy... It was completely undrinkable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The poster who wanted to change her baby's name.

I always felt bad for the one who wanted to name her baby Josephine and let her asshat family members talk her out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There was a poster, a few years ago I think, who was upset and offended that her family seemed hungry/wanted to order more food after she’d made them a home-cooked dinner. Only to find that she was feeding them next to nothing. She would post her menu and quantities and seemed genuinely puzzled that, for example, a stir fry with vegetables only and 2 chicken breasts total was not enough to feed her family of 6, two of whom were teenage athlete boys. She posted with her menu a number of times, and then (hopefully) took the hint that she should just feed them more.

She would crack me up. She cooked one rack of ribs once for everyone to split and was confused how everyone was still hungry.

I remember her! Giggling at the posts.

Her problem was that she couldn't get through her head that a middle age woman watching her weight and a teen athlete required different portion sizes. Even her husband who weight significantly more than her and had a moderately active life was given her weight-watcher portion. The only one who actually ate as much as she did was her pre-school child.

She must be one of the people over in diet and exercise who insists that 1000 cal/day is appropriate for all people and only fat fatties eat more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There was a poster, a few years ago I think, who was upset and offended that her family seemed hungry/wanted to order more food after she’d made them a home-cooked dinner. Only to find that she was feeding them next to nothing. She would post her menu and quantities and seemed genuinely puzzled that, for example, a stir fry with vegetables only and 2 chicken breasts total was not enough to feed her family of 6, two of whom were teenage athlete boys. She posted with her menu a number of times, and then (hopefully) took the hint that she should just feed them more.

She would crack me up. She cooked one rack of ribs once for everyone to split and was confused how everyone was still hungry.

I remember her! Giggling at the posts.

OMG. Sounds like my MIL! Hilarious!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "I don't drink alcohol and people just have water at parties but I can't swallow my food without something delicious to wash it down" poster. I don't care if people drink but she was just so weird about the washing food down bit.

This was one of the most fascinating and oddly frustrating threads of late. I relished every page.

I'm the OP of the no alcohol/water thread and I still stand by my original assertion that there should be more than just water offered at dinner parties. I'm having a big party this weekend, serving a nice dinner and here's what I'm offering as beverages (no alcohol): water, lemonade, sparkling cranberry juice, and orange juice.

I would think it was so weird if OJ was offered.

Right? Who is drinking orange juice at a dinner party?

I once worked a side job as a bartender at a private party for the WEIRDEST household I have ever encountered. Like it was almost Grey Gardens type shit in a dilapidated mansion with two old men living together as roommates. I showed up and for the entire party the host had bought one 12 pack of Heineken, a half case of 3 buck Chuck, and 2 cartons of orange juice.

I told him that was definitely not going to be enough for everybody (they expected about 50-60 people) and asked if he wanted me to go to the store and get more drinks. He said "no, I have some liquor somewhere," and came back with half a bottle of tequila and an armful of liqueurs and apertifs, then proceeded to mix them all together in a bowl with the orange juice and said "it's my signature drink." Sure buddy... It was completely undrinkable.

That person posts here. Needs something delicious to wash down food. No water or wine. Something delicious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "I don't drink alcohol and people just have water at parties but I can't swallow my food without something delicious to wash it down" poster. I don't care if people drink but she was just so weird about the washing food down bit.

This was one of the most fascinating and oddly frustrating threads of late. I relished every page.

I'm the OP of the no alcohol/water thread and I still stand by my original assertion that there should be more than just water offered at dinner parties. I'm having a big party this weekend, serving a nice dinner and here's what I'm offering as beverages (no alcohol): water, lemonade, sparkling cranberry juice, and orange juice.

I would think it was so weird if OJ was offered.

Right? Who is drinking orange juice at a dinner party?

I once worked a side job as a bartender at a private party for the WEIRDEST household I have ever encountered. Like it was almost Grey Gardens type shit in a dilapidated mansion with two old men living together as roommates. I showed up and for the entire party the host had bought one 12 pack of Heineken, a half case of 3 buck Chuck, and 2 cartons of orange juice.

I told him that was definitely not going to be enough for everybody (they expected about 50-60 people) and asked if he wanted me to go to the store and get more drinks. He said "no, I have some liquor somewhere," and came back with half a bottle of tequila and an armful of liqueurs and apertifs, then proceeded to mix them all together in a bowl with the orange juice and said "it's my signature drink." Sure buddy... It was completely undrinkable.

That person posts here. Needs something delicious to wash down food. No water or wine. Something delicious.

I don't know, this was a few years ago and I'd be shocked if both of those dudes haven't been killed by a stack of falling hoarded newspapers or a collapsed ceiling by now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "I don't drink alcohol and people just have water at parties but I can't swallow my food without something delicious to wash it down" poster. I don't care if people drink but she was just so weird about the washing food down bit.

This was one of the most fascinating and oddly frustrating threads of late. I relished every page.

I'm the OP of the no alcohol/water thread and I still stand by my original assertion that there should be more than just water offered at dinner parties. I'm having a big party this weekend, serving a nice dinner and here's what I'm offering as beverages (no alcohol): water, lemonade, sparkling cranberry juice, and orange juice.

Sounds like a fun party...not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about the crazy person who mentions airplane noise every time someone asks about living in Palisades or Georgetown? She posts numerous times on each thread to say that the noise is deafening and if you say you don't notice it she says that there's something wrong with you.

I love this poster. The OP can say something like "What do you think of this house in <insert river-adjacent neighborhood>? I'm not concerned about the airplane noise." And then immediately the airplane noise troll posts something like "Horrible airplane noise." It's performance art, I'm pretty sure.

[Anonymous]

Holton Mom from the Private Schools Forum. Her daughter was rejected by NCS, so she has an anti-NCS vendetta that can only be satisfied by telling everyone that Holton ended up being a fabulous school with great STEM curriculum, amazing crew team opportunities, and that eventually her DD went to Princeton. She shoehorned this story into virtually every thread for a while -- e.g., please recommend an all-girls school; which school has strong STEM classes, anybody have a DD who does crew, etc., etc. She hasn't been around in a while, but she was amazingly on-message.