<vent> Why does DH always think we'll have sex when he comes back from business trips?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you couples who still want to have sex with each other, I am dying to know your secret.

- a DW who is over sex.

Why are you over sex?

Get me out of the house, to a hotel and I am game. Doing it in the marital bed, with the kids in the next room, with the same person, with a ton of things on my mind. Not so much. Oh, and I have an O every time, my husband is good at that department.

I totally understand the appeal of lesbian bed death.

Are you serious? The sex is good you have an O every time and you are over sex??? I really don't get that. I miss having sex so much (div.) and think you are so lucky.

What is stopping you, did you lose both hands in an accident?

+1000

Jerk off and get over it. You aren't entitled to sex

Bahahaha! Too funny. Yes why can't this sad sack cheat on his left hand with his right.

[Anonymous]

14 pages of comments and really it's this simple:

It doesn't really matter if OP needs a moment when her husband gets home, as long as she makes sex a priority later (whether later is in an hour or the next day). If you make your sex life a priority, timing isn't relevant. If sex is an item on your to-do list, your marriage is lacking. If that item doesn't get done, your marriage is done (barring health reasons or other real obstacles).

So OP - if today you knocked your husband's socks off, you are doing it right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:14 pages of comments and really it's this simple:

It doesn't really matter if OP needs a moment when her husband gets home, as long as she makes sex a priority later (whether later is in an hour or the next day). If you make your sex life a priority, timing isn't relevant. If sex is an item on your to-do list, your marriage is lacking. If that item doesn't get done, your marriage is done (barring health reasons or other real obstacles).

So OP - if today you knocked your husband's socks off, you are doing it right.

Note: If you partner want to make it a priority later (after a nap and you spend time with your kids) you don't get to mark this down in your little black book of reasons why you want to cheat on your partner in the category of "being turned down for sex".

[Anonymous]

So many women in this thread sending the clear message DON'T GET MARRIED.

I'll have to make sure my son reads it when he gets older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many women in this thread sending the clear message DON'T GET MARRIED.

I'll have to make sure my son reads it when he gets older.

And the same message to women.

If the sex-crazed, entitled pricks of DCUM had not already convinced me that marriage to a male is a losing proposition, this thread surely would have done it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DW would echo OP's sentiments. Perhaps she is OP.

What is super frustrating for me is how often I turn down other women who proposition me during business travel. Yes, it really happens, a lot. Then, I come home to someone who can't fathom sex with me.

Marriage is wonderful for lots of things, sex is not among them.

So what, I get hit on all the time. I don't think it means much except there are lots of awful people in the world, since I am obviously married.

She can't have 1 day to get some rest, you need to hump her at the door.

All of a sudden it means she can't "fathom sex with me".. me thinks your tampon is leaking.

Aren't you a treat. I feel sorry for the poor bastard that got saddled with you. No one mentioned humping at the door. The fact that he misses his wife and desires her when he returns should make the wife feel good. There are many women on this very board that are longing for that reaction from their H. She acts as if the business trip is a vacation. If you've ever been onna business trip, it can wear your ass out. I always look forward to my own bed when I get home

OP's DH will get frustrated or bored from OP's lack of interest/rejection. Initially, it will result in anger and arguments. There will be resentment. Finally, he will have a bad trip, walk innthe door and just think screw it, I'm too tired. Then he will lose interest in OP and find his pep in his step in leaving. 3 years from now, OP will be starting a thread about how she thinks he's cheating on her or about him filing for divorce and her being blindsided. The harpies will all have her back again. In the deepest recesses of her mind, she will remember this thread and remember this prediction and know that Yes! She could have fixed this.

1. She should feel good for being a good parent, not because she is desired. That's a dime a dozen, we are always desired.

2. Yes. It wears my ass out, drinking a lot does that, and plane rides oh the many 1st world problem I must deal with when I travel. The truth is he was getting all horned up at the bar with other women and needs a release.

3. "lack of interest" ... how does I need a nap = lack of interest. The lack of balls on this board is astounding. Grow up .... take care of your kids for a few hours and be a partner.

4. or she is starting a thread that says, my H does not appreciate me and I am banging the neighbor... after she takes a nap. Women cheat more between 28-35, she is in her prime.

5. He could fix this with a simple nap... not counseling, not jewelry, not an expensive house.... a nap... a f'ing nap! ... and actually caring for his own children.

1. No you're not. I am completely turned off by you after reading this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DW would echo OP's sentiments. Perhaps she is OP.

What is super frustrating for me is how often I turn down other women who proposition me during business travel. Yes, it really happens, a lot. Then, I come home to someone who can't fathom sex with me.

Marriage is wonderful for lots of things, sex is not among them.

So what, I get hit on all the time. I don't think it means much except there are lots of awful people in the world, since I am obviously married.

She can't have 1 day to get some rest, you need to hump her at the door.

All of a sudden it means she can't "fathom sex with me".. me thinks your tampon is leaking.

Aren't you a treat. I feel sorry for the poor bastard that got saddled with you. No one mentioned humping at the door. The fact that he misses his wife and desires her when he returns should make the wife feel good. There are many women on this very board that are longing for that reaction from their H. She acts as if the business trip is a vacation. If you've ever been onna business trip, it can wear your ass out. I always look forward to my own bed when I get home

OP's DH will get frustrated or bored from OP's lack of interest/rejection. Initially, it will result in anger and arguments. There will be resentment. Finally, he will have a bad trip, walk innthe door and just think screw it, I'm too tired. Then he will lose interest in OP and find his pep in his step in leaving. 3 years from now, OP will be starting a thread about how she thinks he's cheating on her or about him filing for divorce and her being blindsided. The harpies will all have her back again. In the deepest recesses of her mind, she will remember this thread and remember this prediction and know that Yes! She could have fixed this.

1. She should feel good for being a good parent, not because she is desired. That's a dime a dozen, we are always desired.

2. Yes. It wears my ass out, drinking a lot does that, and plane rides oh the many 1st world problem I must deal with when I travel. The truth is he was getting all horned up at the bar with other women and needs a release.

3. "lack of interest" ... how does I need a nap = lack of interest. The lack of balls on this board is astounding. Grow up .... take care of your kids for a few hours and be a partner.

4. or she is starting a thread that says, my H does not appreciate me and I am banging the neighbor... after she takes a nap. Women cheat more between 28-35, she is in her prime.

5. He could fix this with a simple nap... not counseling, not jewelry, not an expensive house.... a nap... a f'ing nap! ... and actually caring for his own children.

+10000 to all

[Anonymous]

The thing that I don't understand after reading all of these 14 pages of posts is how in the world some of the posters are so exhausted due to handling kids and house, etc. when their spouse is on a business trip. Those things are much easier for me when mine is on one of the many business trips that are required. It's really not that hard. (DH with 4 kids here, all involved in a laundry list of sports and other activities) Either some people are not very capable, or there is some significant exaggeration going on. Guessing a bit of both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:haha I feel the same way OP.

When he gets back, it's mama's turn to relax!

You don't like sex?

PP here. No I don't like sex when I'm exhausted and on edge (which is what it's like for me to be alone with 4 kids for several days and nights and he knows that). I need to be in the mood for sex., which means relaxed. Why should I put out if I am too tired?

Because if both partners required perfect rest and mood, there would be no sex ever. Marriage requires give and take. With you it seems to be he does all the giving and you do all the taking. Narcissism is never an attractive trait. Try thinking about more than yourself. With women, arousal is much more mental. Your attitude does not lend itself to be open to sex very often. In many cases, this will lead to stress in other areas of your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing that I don't understand after reading all of these 14 pages of posts is how in the world some of the posters are so exhausted due to handling kids and house, etc. when their spouse is on a business trip. Those things are much easier for me when mine is on one of the many business trips that are required. It's really not that hard. (DH with 4 kids here, all involved in a laundry list of sports and other activities) Either some people are not very capable, or there is some significant exaggeration going on. Guessing a bit of both.

Or option C: you're a lousy mom and aren't doing as much work as the other parents.

I think I'm gonna go with that one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:haha I feel the same way OP.

When he gets back, it's mama's turn to relax!

You don't like sex?

PP here. No I don't like sex when I'm exhausted and on edge (which is what it's like for me to be alone with 4 kids for several days and nights and he knows that). I need to be in the mood for sex., which means relaxed. Why should I put out if I am too tired?

Because if both partners required perfect rest and mood, there would be no sex ever. Marriage requires give and take. With you it seems to be he does all the giving and you do all the taking. Narcissism is never an attractive trait. Try thinking about more than yourself. With women, arousal is much more mental. Your attitude does not lend itself to be open to sex very often. In many cases, this will lead to stress in other areas of your marriage.

Why is it always that "marriage requires give and take" is used in the context of she needs to do what he wants?

How about "marriage requires give and take" aka go jerk off in the bathroom and leave your poor wife alone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand this thinking that women are just blow up dolls who should put out whenever their husbands want. Do you really want to have sex with someone who is tired, cranky, and just plain not in the mood?

No, I'd like you to be open-minded enough to attempt to get in the mood with a little coaxing. If it doesn't work, then maybe say, sweetheart, I'm just so exhausted right now, I'm afraid I'd fall asleep during your attempts to pleasure me. Can we just set the alarm a little early and try this in the morning? Or...I'll plan to feed the kids early tomorrow so we can get them to bed and have the night to ourselves.

That's an understandable and acceptable response.

Are you kidding me? You take the kids and do the laundry and then maybe I'll think about it....is not an acceptable reply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand this thinking that women are just blow up dolls who should put out whenever their husbands want. Do you really want to have sex with someone who is tired, cranky, and just plain not in the mood?

No, I'd like you to be open-minded enough to attempt to get in the mood with a little coaxing. If it doesn't work, then maybe say, sweetheart, I'm just so exhausted right now, I'm afraid I'd fall asleep during your attempts to pleasure me. Can we just set the alarm a little early and try this in the morning? Or...I'll plan to feed the kids early tomorrow so we can get them to bed and have the night to ourselves.

That's an understandable and acceptable response.

Are you kidding me? You take the kids and do the laundry and then maybe I'll think about it....is not an acceptable reply.

No thanks. How about "Sweetheart, I'm not in the mood- not right now and not any time in the foreseeable future. You'll be the first to know if that changes. Now go take this romance novel and jerk off in the bath, thanks".

And you say: alright.

That's an understandable and acceptable response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:14 pages of comments and really it's this simple:

It doesn't really matter if OP needs a moment when her husband gets home, as long as she makes sex a priority later (whether later is in an hour or the next day). If you make your sex life a priority, timing isn't relevant. If sex is an item on your to-do list, your marriage is lacking. If that item doesn't get done, your marriage is done (barring health reasons or other real obstacles).

So OP - if today you knocked your husband's socks off, you are doing it right.

Note: If you partner want to make it a priority later (after a nap and you spend time with your kids) you don't get to mark this down in your little black book of reasons why you want to cheat on your partner in the category of "being turned down for sex".

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:haha I feel the same way OP.

When he gets back, it's mama's turn to relax!

You don't like sex?

PP here. No I don't like sex when I'm exhausted and on edge (which is what it's like for me to be alone with 4 kids for several days and nights and he knows that). I need to be in the mood for sex., which means relaxed. Why should I put out if I am too tired?

Because if both partners required perfect rest and mood, there would be no sex ever. Marriage requires give and take. With you it seems to be he does all the giving and you do all the taking. Narcissism is never an attractive trait. Try thinking about more than yourself. With women, arousal is much more mental. Your attitude does not lend itself to be open to sex very often. In many cases, this will lead to stress in other areas of your marriage.

Why is it always that "marriage requires give and take" is used in the context of she needs to do what he wants?

How about "marriage requires give and take" aka go jerk off in the bathroom and leave your poor wife alone?

How about sex requires 2 people. Not one getting off. Save it for the next day or weekend. Not a big deal.