SAH with Older Kids?

[Anonymous]

Ok crazies.

Personally, I don't see this trend you speak of. Quite the opposite.

However, I have no idea how families handle evenings when they get home past 5ish and dont have help. For our family, both DH & I WFH a significant amount and have flexibility even if we go into the office. We do have a housekeeper from 1-6pm M-F who does all of our errand running, grocery shopping, laundry, tdying, organizing and basic meal prep. She helps out with the kids if we have to be at 2 places at the same time. Plus not having to do all the tedious domestic household duties frees up a tremendous amount of time.

[Anonymous]

Their friends, whose parents WOH, tell them that they're lucky that their Mom is home.

I say this kind of thing to my SAHM friends all the time to make them feel better - "your kids must be so happy you're at home all the time! they're so lucky!" (while not thinking this)

PP,

Question: do your kids hear kids of SAHMs saying how lucky they are that their mom works and they go to SACC? Doubtful!

Also, I know many SAHMs who tell WOHM friends that it's fine for your child to be at school from 7-6, no big deal - to make them feel better!(while not thinking this).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok crazies.

Personally, I don't see this trend you speak of. Quite the opposite.

However, I have no idea how families handle evenings when they get home past 5ish and dont have help. For our family, both DH & I WFH a significant amount and have flexibility even if we go into the office. We do have a housekeeper from 1-6pm M-F who does all of our errand running, grocery shopping, laundry, tdying, organizing and basic meal prep. She helps out with the kids if we have to be at 2 places at the same time. Plus not having to do all the tedious domestic household duties frees up a tremendous amount of time.

I have posted this on other threads but I personally think 2 working parents where both parents have flexible schedules work. It actually works quite well.

When 1 or both parents have very demanding schedules with limited to no flexibility, that is when it gets difficult. I had a very flexible job but I was responsible for drop off and pick up. DH earns a 7 figure income and had no flexibility and often traveled. We had a PT housekeeper/cook, landscaper, put our kids in aftercare, had babysitters, etc. I really felt like I was outsourcing out my life and decided to quit my flexible well paying job because I wanted to spend more time with the kids and not be so stressed out all the time.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry but I call BS on this "if you won the lottery you'd quick!" discussion. Look at the literally thousands of examples of lottery winners, trust fund kids, and celebrities who have destroyed their lives because of a lot of money and not a need to work. People are over-idealizing that life. It all sounds so shallow. Yes, when we are having a hard week it's nice to think back on the trip to Bahamas or whatever and how nice that would be, but I don't want that as my all-the-time-life. I loved summer vacation as a kid and college student but in the fall, time to go back to the real world and pursue an education and do something.

Sorry, but if I came into millions of dollars yes I'd quit my job but I wouldn't sit around while my kids are in school. I'd probably start a foundation and run it which requires....work! I don't think my life or schedule would be that different frankly.

The point is, in the real world, a lot of women with school-aged children don't have to work but do. DH makes enough to support us - mortgage, bills, retirement, and some savings. We'd be able to still shop at Whole Foods and not watch every penny. I like working, like my job, like helping our family have more savings, more retirement, and college savings. We worry less - and if he loses his job - we don't need to worry about health insurance, etc. If I wanted to quit my job or work less I could and I would. But I have two kids in school and between school and activities that is about 35 hours of free time for me. DH runs the house and raises the kids just as I do, so that would be too much free time in my book. I just don't need more free time.

If it works for you family and you want to stay home then do it. But this whole "you would all quit anyway!" is silly. My friend just redid her kitchen and loves it. It's like me going up to her and saying, "yes you love your kitchen but if you had 10 million dollars you wouldn't live in this little 3 bedroom house you'd move!!!!!!!!!!"
So dumb. Some of us choose to enjoy the life we have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry but I call BS on this "if you won the lottery you'd quick!" discussion. Look at the literally thousands of examples of lottery winners, trust fund kids, and celebrities who have destroyed their lives because of a lot of money and not a need to work. People are over-idealizing that life. It all sounds so shallow. Yes, when we are having a hard week it's nice to think back on the trip to Bahamas or whatever and how nice that would be, but I don't want that as my all-the-time-life. I loved summer vacation as a kid and college student but in the fall, time to go back to the real world and pursue an education and do something.

Sorry, but if I came into millions of dollars yes I'd quit my job but I wouldn't sit around while my kids are in school. I'd probably start a foundation and run it which requires....work! I don't think my life or schedule would be that different frankly.

The point is, in the real world, a lot of women with school-aged children don't have to work but do. DH makes enough to support us - mortgage, bills, retirement, and some savings. We'd be able to still shop at Whole Foods and not watch every penny. I like working, like my job, like helping our family have more savings, more retirement, and college savings. We worry less - and if he loses his job - we don't need to worry about health insurance, etc. If I wanted to quit my job or work less I could and I would. But I have two kids in school and between school and activities that is about 35 hours of free time for me. DH runs the house and raises the kids just as I do, so that would be too much free time in my book. I just don't need more free time.

If it works for you family and you want to stay home then do it. But this whole "you would all quit anyway!" is silly. My friend just redid her kitchen and loves it. It's like me going up to her and saying, "yes you love your kitchen but if you had 10 million dollars you wouldn't live in this little 3 bedroom house you'd move!!!!!!!!!!"
So dumb. Some of us choose to enjoy the life we have.

I have 2 kids in 2 different schools and our afternoons are very busy. I have about 25 hours per week when they are in school and that does not include days off from school.

I work out 5x per week for 1-2 hours per day. I am in the best shape of my life. So 10/25 hours I use for exercise. I previously MAYBE worked out once per week and was in the worst shape of my life right before I quit my job.

I grocery shop twice per week. I go to different stores - Costco, Wegmens, Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, international food market.

I do laundry during the day. I clean up, make myself lunch, prep dinner. This is about 5 hours per week.

I socialize or do lunch dates with DH about once per week.

I volunteer at both my kids' schools and do many things for the PTA. I help organize events and go on field trips. I also volunteer to help needy kids.

I get a mani/pedi, massage, hair, doc appt about once a week.

I am never bored. I feel healthy and enjoy spending time with my children. We go on a lot of vacations, often without DH since he has to work. I visit my parents with the kids. I don't have to stress about snow days and look forward to teacher work days because we can take long weekend trips to Disney, the Bahamas, Mexico, etc.

All this would not be possible with my 20 days of PTO that I had previously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread went off the rails into the usual SAHM vs WOHM debate. It's not what OP asked. She asked whether it seems more necessary to stay home when kids are older. I and some other posters tried to answer the question and said that if you can use your experience to make your job somewhat flexible to very flexible, this perceived need to stay home when the kids are in school becomes somewhat overstated because you'll have found a schedule that doesn't require you to miss much time with the kids.

This doesn't mean you shouldn't stay home if you can afford it and think it would be nice.

I have a few SAHM friends that think haven't gone back because the logistics seem really insurmountable and that just hasn't been my experience. There's obviously more planning and expense and some hassle than not working but not enough to forgo the 6 figure paycheck that our family can use.

Perfectly and sanely said. I'll add as a former sah that people underestimate has boring it can be to have 30 plus hours of time to fill while kids are at school. I have a lot of friends who have only taken a year off from work, and they get the chance to recharge without having too much trouble getting back in.

Some people are really temperamentally suited to staying home long term and others aren't. I think some people in the latter category still suffer from the "grass is always greener" syndrome. The difficulty of the juggle also changes depending on how many kids you have. Three seems to be a tipping point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry but I call BS on this "if you won the lottery you'd quick!" discussion. Look at the literally thousands of examples of lottery winners, trust fund kids, and celebrities who have destroyed their lives because of a lot of money and not a need to work. People are over-idealizing that life. It all sounds so shallow. Yes, when we are having a hard week it's nice to think back on the trip to Bahamas or whatever and how nice that would be, but I don't want that as my all-the-time-life. I loved summer vacation as a kid and college student but in the fall, time to go back to the real world and pursue an education and do something.

Sorry, but if I came into millions of dollars yes I'd quit my job but I wouldn't sit around while my kids are in school. I'd probably start a foundation and run it which requires....work! I don't think my life or schedule would be that different frankly.

The point is, in the real world, a lot of women with school-aged children don't have to work but do. DH makes enough to support us - mortgage, bills, retirement, and some savings. We'd be able to still shop at Whole Foods and not watch every penny. I like working, like my job, like helping our family have more savings, more retirement, and college savings. We worry less - and if he loses his job - we don't need to worry about health insurance, etc. If I wanted to quit my job or work less I could and I would. But I have two kids in school and between school and activities that is about 35 hours of free time for me. DH runs the house and raises the kids just as I do, so that would be too much free time in my book. I just don't need more free time.

If it works for you family and you want to stay home then do it. But this whole "you would all quit anyway!" is silly. My friend just redid her kitchen and loves it. It's like me going up to her and saying, "yes you love your kitchen but if you had 10 million dollars you wouldn't live in this little 3 bedroom house you'd move!!!!!!!!!!"
So dumb. Some of us choose to enjoy the life we have.

I have 2 kids in 2 different schools and our afternoons are very busy. I have about 25 hours per week when they are in school and that does not include days off from school.

I work out 5x per week for 1-2 hours per day. I am in the best shape of my life. So 10/25 hours I use for exercise. I previously MAYBE worked out once per week and was in the worst shape of my life right before I quit my job.

I grocery shop twice per week. I go to different stores - Costco, Wegmens, Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, international food market.

I do laundry during the day. I clean up, make myself lunch, prep dinner. This is about 5 hours per week.

I socialize or do lunch dates with DH about once per week.

I volunteer at both my kids' schools and do many things for the PTA. I help organize events and go on field trips. I also volunteer to help needy kids.

I get a mani/pedi, massage, hair, doc appt about once a week.

I am never bored. I feel healthy and enjoy spending time with my children. We go on a lot of vacations, often without DH since he has to work. I visit my parents with the kids. I don't have to stress about snow days and look forward to teacher work days because we can take long weekend trips to Disney, the Bahamas, Mexico, etc.

All this would not be possible with my 20 days of PTO that I had previously.

I'm glad this works for your family, I believe you are all happier than when you were working . Different strokes for different folks. For people who love the intellectual challenge of working, spending the equivalent of a work week at the gym, salon, or grocery store doesn't sound fulfilling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok crazies.

Personally, I don't see this trend you speak of. Quite the opposite.

However, I have no idea how families handle evenings when they get home past 5ish and dont have help. For our family, both DH & I WFH a significant amount and have flexibility even if we go into the office. We do have a housekeeper from 1-6pm M-F who does all of our errand running, grocery shopping, laundry, tdying, organizing and basic meal prep. She helps out with the kids if we have to be at 2 places at the same time. Plus not having to do all the tedious domestic household duties frees up a tremendous amount of time.

I have posted this on other threads but I personally think 2 working parents where both parents have flexible schedules work. It actually works quite well.

When 1 or both parents have very demanding schedules with limited to no flexibility, that is when it gets difficult. I had a very flexible job but I was responsible for drop off and pick up. DH earns a 7 figure income and had no flexibility and often traveled. We had a PT housekeeper/cook, landscaper, put our kids in aftercare, had babysitters, etc. I really felt like I was outsourcing out my life and decided to quit my flexible well paying job because I wanted to spend more time with the kids and not be so stressed out all the time.

Disagree. My Dh has a high power job that pays well enough that I don't have to work. I have a government job. Really not hard to juggle at all, my kids go to a great private school, are picked up nanny at 4, go home, have snacks, do homework, and are taken to sports practice by 5 or so. I pick up. Often, they go to play dates right from school or bring a friend home. Nanny does many household chore (arrives two hours before kid get out of school), can meet work men, and cover snow/sick days. The more household income you have, even if it comes primarily from one spouse, the easier it is to do the juggle.

I am very aware of the fact that the juggle is much harder for those who make less money and aren't able to even consider having a parent sah.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok crazies.

Personally, I don't see this trend you speak of. Quite the opposite.

However, I have no idea how families handle evenings when they get home past 5ish and dont have help. For our family, both DH & I WFH a significant amount and have flexibility even if we go into the office. We do have a housekeeper from 1-6pm M-F who does all of our errand running, grocery shopping, laundry, tdying, organizing and basic meal prep. She helps out with the kids if we have to be at 2 places at the same time. Plus not having to do all the tedious domestic household duties frees up a tremendous amount of time.

I have posted this on other threads but I personally think 2 working parents where both parents have flexible schedules work. It actually works quite well.

When 1 or both parents have very demanding schedules with limited to no flexibility, that is when it gets difficult. I had a very flexible job but I was responsible for drop off and pick up. DH earns a 7 figure income and had no flexibility and often traveled. We had a PT housekeeper/cook, landscaper, put our kids in aftercare, had babysitters, etc. I really felt like I was outsourcing out my life and decided to quit my flexible well paying job because I wanted to spend more time with the kids and not be so stressed out all the time.

Disagree. My Dh has a high power job that pays well enough that I don't have to work. I have a government job. Really not hard to juggle at all, my kids go to a great private school, are picked up nanny at 4, go home, have snacks, do homework, and are taken to sports practice by 5 or so. I pick up. Often, they go to play dates right from school or bring a friend home. Nanny does many household chore (arrives two hours before kid get out of school), can meet work men, and cover snow/sick days. The more household income you have, even if it comes primarily from one spouse, the easier it is to do the juggle.

I am very aware of the fact that the juggle is much harder for those who make less money and aren't able to even consider having a parent sah.

Pp again, wanted to add that I am not then"oh crazies" poster above, but agree with her completely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely harder, esp. if they are involved in a lot of activities or travel teams. Our lives are still chaotic, but not as bad as trying to work around 2 full-time schedules. A part-time gig during school hours would probably work, but knowing I have a couple hours of downtime during the day allows me to get a break before the kids get home and start all of their activities. Most night I'm not home until 8 or 9 pm, so my "work" day is divided between mornings (with errands, grocery shopping, etc.) and after school til bedtime. I usually get a break from about 1 pm - 3 pm (although I'll do laundry and other small things around the house usually, but it's still a break).

I'm so sorry, but I have to point out the lunacy of this. Most kids start elementary school by 9am. At a minimum (if your kids take the bus, you have even more time), you are filling 9am-1pm with errands and groceries? You have 4 hours a day or 20 hours per week of grocery runs and errands?

I sincerely have no beef with staying at home with kids at any age. But you have to keep it real people. You're living an awesome life filled with a lot of leisure time. Just call a spade a spade.

I had the exact same thought.

I stay at home(kids in elem school) and work part-time as an artist and I agree completely. Who does errands 20 hours a week? I don't...

Different poster. I have 2 kids. It is hard driving multiple kids to different activities after school. My busiest times are 3-7. I am not going to say it is harder than working. I do think it is harder than working with younger children in daycare where you only have to drop off and pick up. I think that is what the original thread is about.

I work out, run errands, get mani pedis, meet friends and DH for coffee and lunch. I probably spend 1 day per week watching tv (gasp!) while doing laundry. I run errands for DH sometimes. I was a stressed out working mom always feeling stretched too thin. I like our lives better now. Everyone is happier.

If you are genuinely happy with that life, that's perfectly fine. But surely you can acknowledge that some of us want more from life then running errands, watching TV, and getting manicures, can't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry but I call BS on this "if you won the lottery you'd quick!" discussion. Look at the literally thousands of examples of lottery winners, trust fund kids, and celebrities who have destroyed their lives because of a lot of money and not a need to work. People are over-idealizing that life. It all sounds so shallow. Yes, when we are having a hard week it's nice to think back on the trip to Bahamas or whatever and how nice that would be, but I don't want that as my all-the-time-life. I loved summer vacation as a kid and college student but in the fall, time to go back to the real world and pursue an education and do something.

Sorry, but if I came into millions of dollars yes I'd quit my job but I wouldn't sit around while my kids are in school. I'd probably start a foundation and run it which requires....work! I don't think my life or schedule would be that different frankly.

The point is, in the real world, a lot of women with school-aged children don't have to work but do. DH makes enough to support us - mortgage, bills, retirement, and some savings. We'd be able to still shop at Whole Foods and not watch every penny. I like working, like my job, like helping our family have more savings, more retirement, and college savings. We worry less - and if he loses his job - we don't need to worry about health insurance, etc. If I wanted to quit my job or work less I could and I would. But I have two kids in school and between school and activities that is about 35 hours of free time for me. DH runs the house and raises the kids just as I do, so that would be too much free time in my book. I just don't need more free time.

If it works for you family and you want to stay home then do it. But this whole "you would all quit anyway!" is silly. My friend just redid her kitchen and loves it. It's like me going up to her and saying, "yes you love your kitchen but if you had 10 million dollars you wouldn't live in this little 3 bedroom house you'd move!!!!!!!!!!"
So dumb. Some of us choose to enjoy the life we have.

I have 2 kids in 2 different schools and our afternoons are very busy. I have about 25 hours per week when they are in school and that does not include days off from school.

I work out 5x per week for 1-2 hours per day. I am in the best shape of my life. So 10/25 hours I use for exercise. I previously MAYBE worked out once per week and was in the worst shape of my life right before I quit my job.

I grocery shop twice per week. I go to different stores - Costco, Wegmens, Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, international food market.

I do laundry during the day. I clean up, make myself lunch, prep dinner. This is about 5 hours per week.

I socialize or do lunch dates with DH about once per week.

I volunteer at both my kids' schools and do many things for the PTA. I help organize events and go on field trips. I also volunteer to help needy kids.

I get a mani/pedi, massage, hair, doc appt about once a week.

I am never bored. I feel healthy and enjoy spending time with my children. We go on a lot of vacations, often without DH since he has to work. I visit my parents with the kids. I don't have to stress about snow days and look forward to teacher work days because we can take long weekend trips to Disney, the Bahamas, Mexico, etc.

All this would not be possible with my 20 days of PTO that I had previously.

I'm glad this works for your family, I believe you are all happier than when you were working . Different strokes for different folks. For people who love the intellectual challenge of working, spending the equivalent of a work week at the gym, salon, or grocery store doesn't sound fulfilling.

Not the PP but you sound a little jealous. Stay at home moms shouldn't have to be "on" 24hrs a day doing work to rationalize why they stay home. Taking a few hours to yourself to go to the gym, errands, and even a salon trip once a week is fine for working and non-working moms. If it makes the SAHM more "on" during her time with the kids, even better.

If someone wants to be intellectual stimulated, they can volunteer, work limited part time, temporary work etc... I don't know any WOHM moms that truly want to work 40-60hr non-flexible work weeks, keep their kids in school for 10-11hrs and miss many things in their lives, all to be intellectually stimulated. Why be a parent if you see them 1-2hrs a day and a few weeks of vacation time a year. It is okay and healthier to be underworked than overworked, stressed and pulled in multiple directions. No one should be blasted for wanting happiness over more money or power. Woman have this tendency to overcompensate and try to justify their life, and it is not a good way to be. If someone can afford one SAH parent and it makes for a happier healthier home for everyone, who cares what that SAH parent does every minute of every day. This whole thread of rationalizing is never ending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok crazies.

Personally, I don't see this trend you speak of. Quite the opposite.

However, I have no idea how families handle evenings when they get home past 5ish and dont have help. For our family, both DH & I WFH a significant amount and have flexibility even if we go into the office. We do have a housekeeper from 1-6pm M-F who does all of our errand running, grocery shopping, laundry, tdying, organizing and basic meal prep. She helps out with the kids if we have to be at 2 places at the same time. Plus not having to do all the tedious domestic household duties frees up a tremendous amount of time.

I have posted this on other threads but I personally think 2 working parents where both parents have flexible schedules work. It actually works quite well.

When 1 or both parents have very demanding schedules with limited to no flexibility, that is when it gets difficult. I had a very flexible job but I was responsible for drop off and pick up. DH earns a 7 figure income and had no flexibility and often traveled. We had a PT housekeeper/cook, landscaper, put our kids in aftercare, had babysitters, etc. I really felt like I was outsourcing out my life and decided to quit my flexible well paying job because I wanted to spend more time with the kids and not be so stressed out all the time.

Disagree. My Dh has a high power job that pays well enough that I don't have to work. I have a government job. Really not hard to juggle at all, my kids go to a great private school, are picked up nanny at 4, go home, have snacks, do homework, and are taken to sports practice by 5 or so. I pick up. Often, they go to play dates right from school or bring a friend home. Nanny does many household chore (arrives two hours before kid get out of school), can meet work men, and cover snow/sick days. The more household income you have, even if it comes primarily from one spouse, the easier it is to do the juggle.

I am very aware of the fact that the juggle is much harder for those who make less money and aren't able to even consider having a parent sah.

I honestly don't understand this. You rather work a government job and pay a Nanny to raise your kids? I feel like some couples just have kids because it is the PC thing to do. Not because they really want them. They spend more time daily with someone you pay than yourself. That is just really weird.

[Anonymous]

Nothing about the PP's post sounds jealous. Why is so hard to admit some people find a career fulfilling - especially when data shows 80 percent of SAHMs do so because they can't afford childcare? Statistically women who have advanced degrees with high earning husbands chose to stay in the workforce. Average time off is two years away. You can look this up. Not everyone wants to stay at home.

And it is hard to find intellectually challenging volunteer work. There are legal implications to not paying a worker so a lot of companies only accept this type of work for grad school credit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing about the PP's post sounds jealous. Why is so hard to admit some people find a career fulfilling - especially when data shows 80 percent of SAHMs do so because they can't afford childcare? Statistically women who have advanced degrees with high earning husbands chose to stay in the workforce. Average time off is two years away. You can look this up. Not everyone wants to stay at home.

And it is hard to find intellectually challenging volunteer work. There are legal implications to not paying a worker so a lot of companies only accept this type of work for grad school credit.

I don't think it is wrong at all to say some people want a fulfilling career, but two parents can not have careers and also raise their kids full time, whether they are young or in school. There is a choice and it seems like so many woman think they can do both but you can't without sacrificing one or the other every single day. You are choosing to be with a client instead of at your child's soccer practice. You are choosing to have a Nanny come take care of your child with a fever because you can't take another sick day. If you stay home with your child, you miss a meeting that potentially changes your career. You are stuck in traffic and miss your child's final performance. When your teen is devastated about their first break-up, you can't console them because you are at a convention for a few days. Sure, people can say this is life. The kids should understand. But most parents don't watch their kids grow up and say "I should have been there less."

I tried to do it. I had a wonderful job with tons of perks but once I had kids, they became my priority. I tried to do both but the last straw was pumping in a hotel room by myself on my child's first Halloween. I landed a great client and made a shit load in commission that day but all I cared about was wanting to be with my child. I am sure there are working moms that wouldn't have cared. I mean really, my child couldn't even walk yet and wouldn't remember it. But I would and it bothered me. And when I tried to go back again a few years later, the juggling between my husband and I and 2 kids took it's toll. I knew my job was not to work FT. It was to be a mom FT. It was the more important job. We could have made a shit load more money and easily hired a nanny but I wouldn't take any of these years back. It has been an absolute joy to raise my now 3 kids. I still work about 10-16 hours a month and make pennies but it keeps my foot in the door and that is the only reason I do it.

This is a great article.....

http://theweek.com/articles/627821/ugly-secret-working-moms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing about the PP's post sounds jealous. Why is so hard to admit some people find a career fulfilling - especially when data shows 80 percent of SAHMs do so because they can't afford childcare? Statistically women who have advanced degrees with high earning husbands chose to stay in the workforce. Average time off is two years away. You can look this up. Not everyone wants to stay at home.

And it is hard to find intellectually challenging volunteer work. There are legal implications to not paying a worker so a lot of companies only accept this type of work for grad school credit.

I don't think it is wrong at all to say some people want a fulfilling career, but two parents can not have careers and also raise their kids full time, whether they are young or in school. There is a choice and it seems like so many woman think they can do both but you can't without sacrificing one or the other every single day. You are choosing to be with a client instead of at your child's soccer practice. You are choosing to have a Nanny come take care of your child with a fever because you can't take another sick day. If you stay home with your child, you miss a meeting that potentially changes your career. You are stuck in traffic and miss your child's final performance. When your teen is devastated about their first break-up, you can't console them because you are at a convention for a few days. Sure, people can say this is life. The kids should understand. But most parents don't watch their kids grow up and say "I should have been there less."

I tried to do it. I had a wonderful job with tons of perks but once I had kids, they became my priority. I tried to do both but the last straw was pumping in a hotel room by myself on my child's first Halloween. I landed a great client and made a shit load in commission that day but all I cared about was wanting to be with my child. I am sure there are working moms that wouldn't have cared. I mean really, my child couldn't even walk yet and wouldn't remember it. But I would and it bothered me. And when I tried to go back again a few years later, the juggling between my husband and I and 2 kids took it's toll. I knew my job was not to work FT. It was to be a mom FT. It was the more important job. We could have made a shit load more money and easily hired a nanny but I wouldn't take any of these years back. It has been an absolute joy to raise my now 3 kids. I still work about 10-16 hours a month and make pennies but it keeps my foot in the door and that is the only reason I do it.

This is a great article.....

http://theweek.com/articles/627821/ugly-secret-working-moms

Sorry can't relate to that article. Seems like that is an older woman working before telecommute and flex schedules and the like.
My husband and I wanted both parents to raise our kids so we are both working flex schedules vs. the traditional paycheck dad. A lot of our friends are choosing the same thing - likely a generational thing.