SAH with Older Kids?

[Anonymous]

Recently a few of my friends have quit their jobs to SAH with elementary aged kids. We're not there yet (my oldest is 3) but they tell me that with activities and homework (plus all the random days off and half days), having kids gets more stressful as they get older and it is hard to get everything done smoothly with two full time jobs. I was surprised to hear this because I thought it would get better not worse! lol

Is this common? Did you find that it got harder in this way?

[Anonymous]

We had an afternoon nanny. In elementary school they often do need help. In upper elementary school they don't, but they need to be taken places after school.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's harder.

With daycare, you drop them off and pick them up in one place day in and day out.

Once they're in school, there are just so many random days off, early release days, and yes if you want to sign them up for any activities after school, said activities are in the late afternoon/early evening. And yes, they get a lot of homework and having them start it at 6:30 at night when you (working parent) get home is a recipe for disaster.

All that said, I work full-time and so does my husband and there are other ways around the issues above.

[Anonymous]

I was a SAHM until my kids were in K and 2nd and then went back to work FT. I don't find it difficult but my job is flexible and I can WAH for random days off school.My kids are also not super-involved in lots of activities. They enjoy going to extended day with their friends, usually get their homework done there, and take a couple after school classes at extended day (it's varied over time but usually one sport/fitness class plus theater or programming or art). Each does one rec sport that has practice once a week in the evening. It's not hard.

But it would be a lot harder if you had to get multiple kids to many practices that started during work hours and/or have a kid that needs intensive homework support.

[Anonymous]

Definitely harder, esp. if they are involved in a lot of activities or travel teams. Our lives are still chaotic, but not as bad as trying to work around 2 full-time schedules. A part-time gig during school hours would probably work, but knowing I have a couple hours of downtime during the day allows me to get a break before the kids get home and start all of their activities. Most night I'm not home until 8 or 9 pm, so my "work" day is divided between mornings (with errands, grocery shopping, etc.) and after school til bedtime. I usually get a break from about 1 pm - 3 pm (although I'll do laundry and other small things around the house usually, but it's still a break).

[Anonymous]

I would do this in a heartbeat if I could. You get a nice long break while they are at school to clean and grocery shop and do you own thing, then you get to spend a bunch of quality time with your kids at THE best ages 5-12. Then I'd go back when they were in middle school or high school. Alas, we can't afford it.

[Anonymous]

OP I have also noticed a few coworkers and friends/people I know doing this! I have thought about it as well. SAH with babies and toddlers was NOT for me but I'd be into it for older kids. Not sure my husband would be on board though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely harder, esp. if they are involved in a lot of activities or travel teams. Our lives are still chaotic, but not as bad as trying to work around 2 full-time schedules. A part-time gig during school hours would probably work, but knowing I have a couple hours of downtime during the day allows me to get a break before the kids get home and start all of their activities. Most night I'm not home until 8 or 9 pm, so my "work" day is divided between mornings (with errands, grocery shopping, etc.) and after school til bedtime. I usually get a break from about 1 pm - 3 pm (although I'll do laundry and other small things around the house usually, but it's still a break).

I'm so sorry, but I have to point out the lunacy of this. Most kids start elementary school by 9am. At a minimum (if your kids take the bus, you have even more time), you are filling 9am-1pm with errands and groceries? You have 4 hours a day or 20 hours per week of grocery runs and errands?

I sincerely have no beef with staying at home with kids at any age. But you have to keep it real people. You're living an awesome life filled with a lot of leisure time. Just call a spade a spade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely harder, esp. if they are involved in a lot of activities or travel teams. Our lives are still chaotic, but not as bad as trying to work around 2 full-time schedules. A part-time gig during school hours would probably work, but knowing I have a couple hours of downtime during the day allows me to get a break before the kids get home and start all of their activities. Most night I'm not home until 8 or 9 pm, so my "work" day is divided between mornings (with errands, grocery shopping, etc.) and after school til bedtime. I usually get a break from about 1 pm - 3 pm (although I'll do laundry and other small things around the house usually, but it's still a break).

I'm so sorry, but I have to point out the lunacy of this. Most kids start elementary school by 9am. At a minimum (if your kids take the bus, you have even more time), you are filling 9am-1pm with errands and groceries? You have 4 hours a day or 20 hours per week of grocery runs and errands?

I sincerely have no beef with staying at home with kids at any age. But you have to keep it real people. You're living an awesome life filled with a lot of leisure time. Just call a spade a spade.

I had the exact same thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely harder, esp. if they are involved in a lot of activities or travel teams. Our lives are still chaotic, but not as bad as trying to work around 2 full-time schedules. A part-time gig during school hours would probably work, but knowing I have a couple hours of downtime during the day allows me to get a break before the kids get home and start all of their activities. Most night I'm not home until 8 or 9 pm, so my "work" day is divided between mornings (with errands, grocery shopping, etc.) and after school til bedtime. I usually get a break from about 1 pm - 3 pm (although I'll do laundry and other small things around the house usually, but it's still a break).

I'm so sorry, but I have to point out the lunacy of this. Most kids start elementary school by 9am. At a minimum (if your kids take the bus, you have even more time), you are filling 9am-1pm with errands and groceries? You have 4 hours a day or 20 hours per week of grocery runs and errands?

I sincerely have no beef with staying at home with kids at any age. But you have to keep it real people. You're living an awesome life filled with a lot of leisure time. Just call a spade a spade.

PP here. Well, yes I agree. I thought that was obvious! lol. I wish I could do it! It sounds nice and relaxing to me (spent the morning getting bitched out by by superior, bleh).

[Anonymous]

I work part-time with a very flexible job. I find it hard to balance it all I can't imagine working FT. With all the random days off, the orthodontic appts, all the activities and events and especially now with end of year there all these performances and ceremonies that I attend. Plus just getting a home cooked meal most nights for hungry kids is a lot. I really don't know how two FT people can make it work. My DH does put it a lot of hours maybe if he was able to help out more during the week it might work.

[Anonymous]

I know people who did what you described, for the same reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work part-time with a very flexible job. I find it hard to balance it all I can't imagine working FT. With all the random days off, the orthodontic appts, all the activities and events and especially now with end of year there all these performances and ceremonies that I attend. Plus just getting a home cooked meal most nights for hungry kids is a lot. I really don't know how two FT people can make it work. My DH does put it a lot of hours maybe if he was able to help out more during the week it might work.

+1

This time of year is really hectic! Especially b/c our kids are involved in Little League and spring soccer. We're out every afternoon and early evening it seems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would do this in a heartbeat if I could. You get a nice long break while they are at school to clean and grocery shop and do you own thing, then you get to spend a bunch of quality time with your kids at THE best ages 5-12. Then I'd go back when they were in middle school or high school. Alas, we can't afford it.

Problem is -- the work world doesn't want you after you've taken off for those years. I know.... I live the life you describe and can't just "go back."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would do this in a heartbeat if I could. You get a nice long break while they are at school to clean and grocery shop and do you own thing, then you get to spend a bunch of quality time with your kids at THE best ages 5-12. Then I'd go back when they were in middle school or high school. Alas, we can't afford it.

I agree. I enjoy staying at home now more than I did when they were little! I actually have time to get things done!