The working parent grind is so exhausting.

[Anonymous]

In the entirety of human history, women never had it as good as the current generation of American women in every single possible way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a young boomer at 65.

Most of my college friends worked throughout their careers. They are accountants, nurses, journalists, HR pris, teachers, lawyers. They used daycare, they lived close to their jobs. They had modest houses, sometimes a biweekly cleaning service, and their kids all watched a lot of TV and played with other kids from their schools without a ton of supervision. There was not a lot of travel sports. Just school sports.

In short we lived much more middle class lives and weren't micromanage the hothouse flowers you are bringing up today.

My DH played it differently. We postponed kids until our early 40s, doing a bunch of travel and house projects then one of us switched to part time after they were born. By that time we had power in our jobs and could set up our schedules to suit us.

You are out of touch. There are no modest homes close to most people's jobs.

Starting at 40s for kids, statistically that means fewer people even get to have kids as its a huge gamble, and on average kids get to have parents for a much shorter part of their lives and likely won't get any grandparent help with childcare.

You real secret was making more than average and buying when houses were cheap

My home is modest and it is close to my job. You need to move away from DC and you’ll find older homes near where you work. I live in eastern Baltimore County in a small 3 bedroom brick home with smallish front and back yards in a neighborhood built in the 50s. I bought it in 2018 for $235k. I’m a single parent and a teacher.

Very similar Baltimore story. Not a single parent, but housing is way more affordable, and we were fortunate to find good jobs here too. Bought a house in 17 years ago that has gone way up in price. Easily paid the mortgage off a few years ago.

There ARE jobs outside of the metro DC area, you just have to be willing to live somewhere else. Maybe give up some lifestyle perks.

Yes there are jobs. Yes there are good jobs. There is also a LOT of luck involved. You also bought a house 17 GD years ago.

Get some self awareness and stop being so smug.

Maybe you should stop posting on a message board in the middle of the work day?

It’s not the middle of my workday, sweetie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the entirety of human history, women never had it as good as the current generation of American women in every single possible way.

And we got here by not being quiet and just accepting status quo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the entirety of human history, women never had it as good as the current generation of American women in every single possible way.

Highly doubt that. When I was little (long time ago) I got to spend a month one summer with my Rich Aunt on Long Island. My Mom sadly had major surgery and the three younger kids went to stay with my Aunt and Uncle.

This was Glory Days of Defense spending on Long Island. Sperry, Gruman, Fairchild Republic. Was around 1968. My Uncle was making a ton, his wife drove a new Cadilac Convertible. My days in that Month was going to Robert Moses, Jones Beach, we go to new drivethroughs that opened up. I recall we went to Drive Through Dry cleaners to pick up Uncles Shirts. We saw a Drive in Movie. My Uncle worked till 430 pm and got home at 5 pm and we have BBQs in back yard, he play Golf at club. None of women worked, None of kids went to camp or summer camp, the whole town was alive every day. And dad all be home early. And be no big deal to play Golf on a Wed.

My uncle paid cash his brand new home in 1963 and cost less than a years pay. I recall him with Wall Street Journal opened. Talking to his EF Hutton Broker buying Nifty 50 socks. You know GM, GE, IBM, Xerox, Coca Cola, Disney, Walmart, Procter & Gamble that seemed to never go down and always pay big dividends. I recall my Aunt crashed her Caddie once while husband at work, she just called Dealer, said bring me new Caddie put it on my husbands account.

[Anonymous]

That scenario sounds great for the husband. Your aunt would’ve been screwed in a divorce. I’d rather have the ability and expectation to support myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found people who allegedly very smart and educated simply don't plan and look ahead to a life raising kids. They plunge in and then are somehow SHOCKED at hard and expensive it is.

When my DH started pushing for a family (I had told him I didn't want children) I told him how much daycare would be, he screamed "But that is as much as our mortgage!"

Yep, I told him.

We compromised on 1 child, and he worked from home while I kept my much more stable job.

We had a very modest 3 bedroom home.

oh FFS
Imagine thinking systemic economic and political issues affecting millions in the US, not to mention globally = people didnt plan.
Also really insightful coming from someone who didnt want kids.
Lastly, using modest in your post is all kinds of reckless.

Excuses, excuses.

I concur the setup is rigged against families, but you have to play the hand you are dealt.

My starter home was a 3/2 cinderblock we could pay on one of our salaries. We might still be there if we hadn't switched states.

You show your age when you say starter home FYI. Its like the other poster (maybe same poster) using modest when being an utter c^nt. You agree the deck is stacked, the house always wins, "rigged" BUT you still buy into the whole bootstaps schtick as evidenced by your comment. The cognitive dissonance is giving Nasdaq Fast Entry vibes.

Nasty language does not prove your point.

In my family, one of us worked nights and weekends to slash daycare needs.

What's your solution exactly? Whine and complain about it?

Slash daycare? No daycare I know offers a part time option. So you were out of house from 830-530 (Assume strict 8 hour shift which doesn’t even exist anymore and 30 min commute). Then your spouse left at 530 and works 8 hours and returns home at 230am? Sleep 6 hours and then wake up to watch the kids?

I guess I won’t complain about my working parent juggle, this sounds like misery and you barely see your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That scenario sounds great for the husband. Your aunt would’ve been screwed in a divorce. I’d rather have the ability and expectation to support myself.

My Aunt was love of his life, they were married 60 years. My Aunt had a sixth grade education. Hard to belive. But if alive today she be 96 and she was born a poor town in Northern Ireland. Under NYC law she gets half of husbands income and assets. She married him while he still lived at home and in college!!

Back in those days, women got the house, alimony and child support and 1/2 the assets. You are most likely too young to remember but in the 1960s the USA top Federal income tax bracket was 90 percent. And NYS Income tax 11 percent. My uncle was in top tax bracket.

She did go back to work for awhile when kids are older. The women and men at work all knew she was very very rich. I recally my Uncle saying she was paing 99 percent tax on her full time $10,000 a year job so taking home only $100 bucks a year. And in divorce my Uncle was entitled to 50% or $50 bucks. Back then Country Clubs were packed on Wednesday as a lot of Lawyers/Doctors only wanted to work 4 days a week as once you hit highest tax bracket why work 5 days.

So Dad worked Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday and Mom stayed home. My brother joined a country club in 1992 on Long Island and Wed was called Family Day still. Mom, Dad, Kids all come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found people who allegedly very smart and educated simply don't plan and look ahead to a life raising kids. They plunge in and then are somehow SHOCKED at hard and expensive it is.

When my DH started pushing for a family (I had told him I didn't want children) I told him how much daycare would be, he screamed "But that is as much as our mortgage!"

Yep, I told him.

We compromised on 1 child, and he worked from home while I kept my much more stable job.

We had a very modest 3 bedroom home.

oh FFS
Imagine thinking systemic economic and political issues affecting millions in the US, not to mention globally = people didnt plan.
Also really insightful coming from someone who didnt want kids.
Lastly, using modest in your post is all kinds of reckless.

Excuses, excuses.

I concur the setup is rigged against families, but you have to play the hand you are dealt.

My starter home was a 3/2 cinderblock we could pay on one of our salaries. We might still be there if we hadn't switched states.

You show your age when you say starter home FYI. Its like the other poster (maybe same poster) using modest when being an utter c^nt. You agree the deck is stacked, the house always wins, "rigged" BUT you still buy into the whole bootstaps schtick as evidenced by your comment. The cognitive dissonance is giving Nasdaq Fast Entry vibes.

Nasty language does not prove your point.

In my family, one of us worked nights and weekends to slash daycare needs.

What's your solution exactly? Whine and complain about it?

Slash daycare? No daycare I know offers a part time option. So you were out of house from 830-530 (Assume strict 8 hour shift which doesn’t even exist anymore and 30 min commute). Then your spouse left at 530 and works 8 hours and returns home at 230am? Sleep 6 hours and then wake up to watch the kids?

I guess I won’t complain about my working parent juggle, this sounds like misery and you barely see your spouse.

No. I worked nights and weekends. At the same place as my spouse. So we overlapped. I worked 24 hours a week at that time with shift differentials.

Baby sitter 3 days a week from 4 to 7.

And it was temporary. We only had 1 child because we knew how hard and expensive it was.

In middle school I easily slipped back into day hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That scenario sounds great for the husband. Your aunt would’ve been screwed in a divorce. I’d rather have the ability and expectation to support myself.

My Aunt was love of his life, they were married 60 years. My Aunt had a sixth grade education. Hard to belive. But if alive today she be 96 and she was born a poor town in Northern Ireland. Under NYC law she gets half of husbands income and assets. She married him while he still lived at home and in college!!

Back in those days, women got the house, alimony and child support and 1/2 the assets. You are most likely too young to remember but in the 1960s the USA top Federal income tax bracket was 90 percent. And NYS Income tax 11 percent. My uncle was in top tax bracket.

She did go back to work for awhile when kids are older. The women and men at work all knew she was very very rich. I recally my Uncle saying she was paing 99 percent tax on her full time $10,000 a year job so taking home only $100 bucks a year. And in divorce my Uncle was entitled to 50% or $50 bucks. Back then Country Clubs were packed on Wednesday as a lot of Lawyers/Doctors only wanted to work 4 days a week as once you hit highest tax bracket why work 5 days.

So Dad worked Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday and Mom stayed home. My brother joined a country club in 1992 on Long Island and Wed was called Family Day still. Mom, Dad, Kids all come.

Economically the 60s were magical, mostly because the rest of the world was still a smoking hole from WWII and we were the only industrial power.

So what if your uncle was abusive and refused divorce (no fault divorce wasn’t a thing). What if he gambled away all their earnings? She would have limited options compared to today.

Honestly, being married to a loving wealthy husband is always the best time to be alive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found people who allegedly very smart and educated simply don't plan and look ahead to a life raising kids. They plunge in and then are somehow SHOCKED at hard and expensive it is.

When my DH started pushing for a family (I had told him I didn't want children) I told him how much daycare would be, he screamed "But that is as much as our mortgage!"

Yep, I told him.

We compromised on 1 child, and he worked from home while I kept my much more stable job.

We had a very modest 3 bedroom home.

oh FFS
Imagine thinking systemic economic and political issues affecting millions in the US, not to mention globally = people didnt plan.
Also really insightful coming from someone who didnt want kids.
Lastly, using modest in your post is all kinds of reckless.

Excuses, excuses.

I concur the setup is rigged against families, but you have to play the hand you are dealt.

My starter home was a 3/2 cinderblock we could pay on one of our salaries. We might still be there if we hadn't switched states.

You show your age when you say starter home FYI. Its like the other poster (maybe same poster) using modest when being an utter c^nt. You agree the deck is stacked, the house always wins, "rigged" BUT you still buy into the whole bootstaps schtick as evidenced by your comment. The cognitive dissonance is giving Nasdaq Fast Entry vibes.

Nasty language does not prove your point.

In my family, one of us worked nights and weekends to slash daycare needs.

What's your solution exactly? Whine and complain about it?

Slash daycare? No daycare I know offers a part time option. So you were out of house from 830-530 (Assume strict 8 hour shift which doesn’t even exist anymore and 30 min commute). Then your spouse left at 530 and works 8 hours and returns home at 230am? Sleep 6 hours and then wake up to watch the kids?

I guess I won’t complain about my working parent juggle, this sounds like misery and you barely see your spouse.

No. I worked nights and weekends. At the same place as my spouse. So we overlapped. I worked 24 hours a week at that time with shift differentials.

Baby sitter 3 days a week from 4 to 7.

And it was temporary. We only had 1 child because we knew how hard and expensive it was.

In middle school I easily slipped back into day hours.

So you only worked part time? In some hourly job that paid shift differential? The places you could even afford a starter home in that scenario in majority of places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found people who allegedly very smart and educated simply don't plan and look ahead to a life raising kids. They plunge in and then are somehow SHOCKED at hard and expensive it is.

When my DH started pushing for a family (I had told him I didn't want children) I told him how much daycare would be, he screamed "But that is as much as our mortgage!"

Yep, I told him.

We compromised on 1 child, and he worked from home while I kept my much more stable job.

We had a very modest 3 bedroom home.

oh FFS
Imagine thinking systemic economic and political issues affecting millions in the US, not to mention globally = people didnt plan.
Also really insightful coming from someone who didnt want kids.
Lastly, using modest in your post is all kinds of reckless.

Excuses, excuses.

I concur the setup is rigged against families, but you have to play the hand you are dealt.

My starter home was a 3/2 cinderblock we could pay on one of our salaries. We might still be there if we hadn't switched states.

You show your age when you say starter home FYI. Its like the other poster (maybe same poster) using modest when being an utter c^nt. You agree the deck is stacked, the house always wins, "rigged" BUT you still buy into the whole bootstaps schtick as evidenced by your comment. The cognitive dissonance is giving Nasdaq Fast Entry vibes.

Nasty language does not prove your point.

In my family, one of us worked nights and weekends to slash daycare needs.

What's your solution exactly? Whine and complain about it?

Slash daycare? No daycare I know offers a part time option. So you were out of house from 830-530 (Assume strict 8 hour shift which doesn’t even exist anymore and 30 min commute). Then your spouse left at 530 and works 8 hours and returns home at 230am? Sleep 6 hours and then wake up to watch the kids?

I guess I won’t complain about my working parent juggle, this sounds like misery and you barely see your spouse.

No. I worked nights and weekends. At the same place as my spouse. So we overlapped. I worked 24 hours a week at that time with shift differentials.

Baby sitter 3 days a week from 4 to 7.

And it was temporary. We only had 1 child because we knew how hard and expensive it was.

In middle school I easily slipped back into day hours.

So you only worked part time? In some hourly job that paid shift differential? The places you could even afford a starter home in that scenario in majority of places.

I don't really understand your second sentence.

We had the home for many years before our child was born. We had also socked money away. We did many different scenarios over the course of my kid's child hood so he wouldn't have to spend a ton of time in daycare. Right after he was born, I had the good job, so I worked full time and my husband freelanced. Then he got a great job offer, and we moved and switched my husband being the main breadwinner. 10 years later, we switched roles again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found people who allegedly very smart and educated simply don't plan and look ahead to a life raising kids. They plunge in and then are somehow SHOCKED at hard and expensive it is.

When my DH started pushing for a family (I had told him I didn't want children) I told him how much daycare would be, he screamed "But that is as much as our mortgage!"

Yep, I told him.

We compromised on 1 child, and he worked from home while I kept my much more stable job.

We had a very modest 3 bedroom home.

oh FFS
Imagine thinking systemic economic and political issues affecting millions in the US, not to mention globally = people didnt plan.
Also really insightful coming from someone who didnt want kids.
Lastly, using modest in your post is all kinds of reckless.

Excuses, excuses.

I concur the setup is rigged against families, but you have to play the hand you are dealt.

My starter home was a 3/2 cinderblock we could pay on one of our salaries. We might still be there if we hadn't switched states.

You show your age when you say starter home FYI. Its like the other poster (maybe same poster) using modest when being an utter c^nt. You agree the deck is stacked, the house always wins, "rigged" BUT you still buy into the whole bootstaps schtick as evidenced by your comment. The cognitive dissonance is giving Nasdaq Fast Entry vibes.

Nasty language does not prove your point.

In my family, one of us worked nights and weekends to slash daycare needs.

What's your solution exactly? Whine and complain about it?

Slash daycare? No daycare I know offers a part time option. So you were out of house from 830-530 (Assume strict 8 hour shift which doesn’t even exist anymore and 30 min commute). Then your spouse left at 530 and works 8 hours and returns home at 230am? Sleep 6 hours and then wake up to watch the kids?

I guess I won’t complain about my working parent juggle, this sounds like misery and you barely see your spouse.

No. I worked nights and weekends. At the same place as my spouse. So we overlapped. I worked 24 hours a week at that time with shift differentials.

Baby sitter 3 days a week from 4 to 7.

And it was temporary. We only had 1 child because we knew how hard and expensive it was.

In middle school I easily slipped back into day hours.

So you only worked part time? In some hourly job that paid shift differential? The places you could even afford a starter home in that scenario in majority of places.

I don't really understand your second sentence.

We had the home for many years before our child was born. We had also socked money away. We did many different scenarios over the course of my kid's child hood so he wouldn't have to spend a ton of time in daycare. Right after he was born, I had the good job, so I worked full time and my husband freelanced. Then he got a great job offer, and we moved and switched my husband being the main breadwinner. 10 years later, we switched roles again.

Good for you for only having one kid. Lord knows we don’t need any more of you; society is getting stupid too quickly as it is…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found people who allegedly very smart and educated simply don't plan and look ahead to a life raising kids. They plunge in and then are somehow SHOCKED at hard and expensive it is.

When my DH started pushing for a family (I had told him I didn't want children) I told him how much daycare would be, he screamed "But that is as much as our mortgage!"

Yep, I told him.

We compromised on 1 child, and he worked from home while I kept my much more stable job.

We had a very modest 3 bedroom home.

oh FFS
Imagine thinking systemic economic and political issues affecting millions in the US, not to mention globally = people didnt plan.
Also really insightful coming from someone who didnt want kids.
Lastly, using modest in your post is all kinds of reckless.

Excuses, excuses.

I concur the setup is rigged against families, but you have to play the hand you are dealt.

My starter home was a 3/2 cinderblock we could pay on one of our salaries. We might still be there if we hadn't switched states.

You show your age when you say starter home FYI. Its like the other poster (maybe same poster) using modest when being an utter c^nt. You agree the deck is stacked, the house always wins, "rigged" BUT you still buy into the whole bootstaps schtick as evidenced by your comment. The cognitive dissonance is giving Nasdaq Fast Entry vibes.

Nasty language does not prove your point.

In my family, one of us worked nights and weekends to slash daycare needs.

What's your solution exactly? Whine and complain about it?

Slash daycare? No daycare I know offers a part time option. So you were out of house from 830-530 (Assume strict 8 hour shift which doesn’t even exist anymore and 30 min commute). Then your spouse left at 530 and works 8 hours and returns home at 230am? Sleep 6 hours and then wake up to watch the kids?

I guess I won’t complain about my working parent juggle, this sounds like misery and you barely see your spouse.

No. I worked nights and weekends. At the same place as my spouse. So we overlapped. I worked 24 hours a week at that time with shift differentials.

Baby sitter 3 days a week from 4 to 7.

And it was temporary. We only had 1 child because we knew how hard and expensive it was.

In middle school I easily slipped back into day hours.

So you only worked part time? In some hourly job that paid shift differential? The places you could even afford a starter home in that scenario in majority of places.

I don't really understand your second sentence.

We had the home for many years before our child was born. We had also socked money away. We did many different scenarios over the course of my kid's child hood so he wouldn't have to spend a ton of time in daycare. Right after he was born, I had the good job, so I worked full time and my husband freelanced. Then he got a great job offer, and we moved and switched my husband being the main breadwinner. 10 years later, we switched roles again.

So you are talking about buying a starter home over 20 years ago. Thanks for playing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found people who allegedly very smart and educated simply don't plan and look ahead to a life raising kids. They plunge in and then are somehow SHOCKED at hard and expensive it is.

When my DH started pushing for a family (I had told him I didn't want children) I told him how much daycare would be, he screamed "But that is as much as our mortgage!"

Yep, I told him.

We compromised on 1 child, and he worked from home while I kept my much more stable job.

We had a very modest 3 bedroom home.

oh FFS
Imagine thinking systemic economic and political issues affecting millions in the US, not to mention globally = people didnt plan.
Also really insightful coming from someone who didnt want kids.
Lastly, using modest in your post is all kinds of reckless.

Excuses, excuses.

I concur the setup is rigged against families, but you have to play the hand you are dealt.

My starter home was a 3/2 cinderblock we could pay on one of our salaries. We might still be there if we hadn't switched states.

You show your age when you say starter home FYI. Its like the other poster (maybe same poster) using modest when being an utter c^nt. You agree the deck is stacked, the house always wins, "rigged" BUT you still buy into the whole bootstaps schtick as evidenced by your comment. The cognitive dissonance is giving Nasdaq Fast Entry vibes.

Nasty language does not prove your point.

In my family, one of us worked nights and weekends to slash daycare needs.

What's your solution exactly? Whine and complain about it?

Slash daycare? No daycare I know offers a part time option. So you were out of house from 830-530 (Assume strict 8 hour shift which doesn’t even exist anymore and 30 min commute). Then your spouse left at 530 and works 8 hours and returns home at 230am? Sleep 6 hours and then wake up to watch the kids?

I guess I won’t complain about my working parent juggle, this sounds like misery and you barely see your spouse.

No. I worked nights and weekends. At the same place as my spouse. So we overlapped. I worked 24 hours a week at that time with shift differentials.

Baby sitter 3 days a week from 4 to 7.

And it was temporary. We only had 1 child because we knew how hard and expensive it was.

In middle school I easily slipped back into day hours.

So you only worked part time? In some hourly job that paid shift differential? The places you could even afford a starter home in that scenario in majority of places.

I don't really understand your second sentence.

We had the home for many years before our child was born. We had also socked money away. We did many different scenarios over the course of my kid's child hood so he wouldn't have to spend a ton of time in daycare. Right after he was born, I had the good job, so I worked full time and my husband freelanced. Then he got a great job offer, and we moved and switched my husband being the main breadwinner. 10 years later, we switched roles again.

Good for you for only having one kid. Lord knows we don’t need any more of you; society is getting stupid too quickly as it is…

Uh, who is the "stupid" one here? I found a way to have it all. Well, all that I wanted. Happy marriage, great career, a happy young adult. That's probably not enough for you. We aren't rich but we have our retirement and college fully funded.

OP is definitely in the grind and it's terrible they aren't allowing telework for parents any more. But must of us never had work from home jobs before. In OP's situation, most of us chose a different job, or found family help, etc.

Hopefully when Trump is gone some of the sanity will return and people will be allowed telework again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found people who allegedly very smart and educated simply don't plan and look ahead to a life raising kids. They plunge in and then are somehow SHOCKED at hard and expensive it is.

When my DH started pushing for a family (I had told him I didn't want children) I told him how much daycare would be, he screamed "But that is as much as our mortgage!"

Yep, I told him.

We compromised on 1 child, and he worked from home while I kept my much more stable job.

We had a very modest 3 bedroom home.

oh FFS
Imagine thinking systemic economic and political issues affecting millions in the US, not to mention globally = people didnt plan.
Also really insightful coming from someone who didnt want kids.
Lastly, using modest in your post is all kinds of reckless.

Excuses, excuses.

I concur the setup is rigged against families, but you have to play the hand you are dealt.

My starter home was a 3/2 cinderblock we could pay on one of our salaries. We might still be there if we hadn't switched states.

You show your age when you say starter home FYI. Its like the other poster (maybe same poster) using modest when being an utter c^nt. You agree the deck is stacked, the house always wins, "rigged" BUT you still buy into the whole bootstaps schtick as evidenced by your comment. The cognitive dissonance is giving Nasdaq Fast Entry vibes.

Nasty language does not prove your point.

In my family, one of us worked nights and weekends to slash daycare needs.

What's your solution exactly? Whine and complain about it?

Slash daycare? No daycare I know offers a part time option. So you were out of house from 830-530 (Assume strict 8 hour shift which doesn’t even exist anymore and 30 min commute). Then your spouse left at 530 and works 8 hours and returns home at 230am? Sleep 6 hours and then wake up to watch the kids?

I guess I won’t complain about my working parent juggle, this sounds like misery and you barely see your spouse.

No. I worked nights and weekends. At the same place as my spouse. So we overlapped. I worked 24 hours a week at that time with shift differentials.

Baby sitter 3 days a week from 4 to 7.

And it was temporary. We only had 1 child because we knew how hard and expensive it was.

In middle school I easily slipped back into day hours.

So you only worked part time? In some hourly job that paid shift differential? The places you could even afford a starter home in that scenario in majority of places.

I don't really understand your second sentence.

We had the home for many years before our child was born. We had also socked money away. We did many different scenarios over the course of my kid's child hood so he wouldn't have to spend a ton of time in daycare. Right after he was born, I had the good job, so I worked full time and my husband freelanced. Then he got a great job offer, and we moved and switched my husband being the main breadwinner. 10 years later, we switched roles again.

Good for you for only having one kid. Lord knows we don’t need any more of you; society is getting stupid too quickly as it is…

Uh, who is the "stupid" one here? I found a way to have it all. Well, all that I wanted. Happy marriage, great career, a happy young adult. That's probably not enough for you. We aren't rich but we have our retirement and college fully funded.

OP is definitely in the grind and it's terrible they aren't allowing telework for parents any more. But must of us never had work from home jobs before. In OP's situation, most of us chose a different job, or found family help, etc.

Hopefully when Trump is gone some of the sanity will return and people will be allowed telework again!

The fact that you are stupid is unrelated to your contentment with your life.

Your inability to see beyond the end of your nose is more indicative of your (lack of) intelligence than your happiness. The fact that you need this explained to you is another piece of evidence.

Hope this helps.