The working parent grind is so exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not fashionable to quote Joe Rogan, but he made an observation that stuck with me that the hardest thing that ever happened to you is the hardest thing to ever happen to you (or something like that). The idea being that whatever seems hard to you now will seem more survivable once something harder happens.

In my case, I’m a special needs parent with a demanding (but highly remunerative) job. I love my son more than words can express, and I’m grateful for my position which blunts many of the difficulties that comes with being a special needs parent, but I do see posts like this or email blasts at work talking about balance or some such and kind of mourn a piece of our life that we’ll never had. Before I had kids, I got why it’d be hard to work through your kid’s baseball game. Now I’d give pretty much anything to know that feeling because a kid who can play baseball is a kid who will probably live independently someday. And there’s no workplace seminar or brown bag lunch for working through that sentiment— you gotta figure it out on your own.

In my case, I sometimes see the working poor or a single mom struggling with a kid whose child’s difficulties resemble my own and I find myself wondering “man, I can’t imagine what that’s like.”

Hard things can be harder. And even that’s survivable. Good luck.

Really insightful and humane response - thanks for sharing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cut out the majority of kid activities so you can have a family life at home in the evenings and on weekends. What you describe (both parents working outside the home) was normal pre-Covid. But the second shift of shuttling kids to a million after school activities has gotten ridiculous.

My mom was a single mom and my brother and I could only choose one activity per year and they couldn’t overlap. And no travel sports. She was smart.

I begged for years for 1 after school activity and I still remember being sad and disappointed 30 years later.
I was able to learn when I went to college and as an adult, but it’s not the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is part time an option? I took a pay cut but I would have burned out and quit otherwise.

I would love to go part time. I work full time and the workload is increasing while, of course, my pay stays the same. I'd happily cut my salary in half and find ways to cut spending. I'd happily forego pretty new clothes and unnecessary just-to-stay-busy activities to not live this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is part time an option? I took a pay cut but I would have burned out and quit otherwise.

I would love to go part time. I work full time and the workload is increasing while, of course, my pay stays the same. I'd happily cut my salary in half and find ways to cut spending. I'd happily forego pretty new clothes and unnecessary just-to-stay-busy activities to not live this way. The people at my office who are thriving and shining and headed up the ladder don't have children at home.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are 100% correct. But all these snide posters here discounting how hard it is are just endlessly brainwashed that women must suffer and endure. Ignore them, and get some more help. And get a really good physical too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are 100% correct. But all these snide posters here discounting how hard it is are just endlessly brainwashed that women must suffer and endure. Ignore them, and get some more help. And get a really good physical too.

Going to work away from home everyday is normal. The pandemic made it unusual to go somewhere else for work. Now most people are back to normal. If you think going to work everyday is suffering, you need some mental help. Plenty of unemployed people would love to “suffer” by getting up and earning a paycheck.

The people I know who complain like this have overextended themselves by signing their kids up for stuff after school. Cut that out and teach your kids to do some chores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are 100% correct. But all these snide posters here discounting how hard it is are just endlessly brainwashed that women must suffer and endure. Ignore them, and get some more help. And get a really good physical too.

Going to work away from home everyday is normal. The pandemic made it unusual to go somewhere else for work. Now most people are back to normal. If you think going to work everyday is suffering, you need some mental help. Plenty of unemployed people would love to “suffer” by getting up and earning a paycheck.

The people I know who complain like this have overextended themselves by signing their kids up for stuff after school. Cut that out and teach your kids to do some chores.

What a douchey response

[Anonymous]

I often have the same thoughts. Quality over quantity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are 100% correct. But all these snide posters here discounting how hard it is are just endlessly brainwashed that women must suffer and endure. Ignore them, and get some more help. And get a really good physical too.

Going to work away from home everyday is normal. The pandemic made it unusual to go somewhere else for work. Now most people are back to normal. If you think going to work everyday is suffering, you need some mental help. Plenty of unemployed people would love to “suffer” by getting up and earning a paycheck.

The people I know who complain like this have overextended themselves by signing their kids up for stuff after school. Cut that out and teach your kids to do some chores.

Obviously a man. Or childless.

Anyway I would say that it is hard to be out of the house all day, grinding as a fed now with basically multiple jobs, and having to come home to manage a household. Yes my partner helps but the reality of not enough time in the day is real. I'm not saying we need to work from home, just that not acknowledging it IS hard in our society is silly because it clearly is. I even have two parents nearby who both help and one child only and still feel the tug. So stop being silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is super exhausting and requires a high degree of planning and logistics management. This is the world we live in, though.

This. The amount of things that must be done and remembered and attended to all the time is exhausting.

[Anonymous]

I think people are soft.

I spend 32 hours in a climate controlled office for hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. Health insurance where I have access to all different types of doctors, weeks of paid leave a year, sick leave etc.

Women used to be stuck at home doing laundry and dishes by hand, cloth diapers, left without a car all day, no ability to have anything delivered, cooking from scratch daily. They got paid $0. No retirement account. No paid leave. For some women this was better, but for many it’s not.

I have to get my kids to soccer practice. Oh no.

Seriously I feel bad for people if we ever do experience another world war or Great Depression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people are soft.

I spend 32 hours in a climate controlled office for hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. Health insurance where I have access to all different types of doctors, weeks of paid leave a year, sick leave etc.

Women used to be stuck at home doing laundry and dishes by hand, cloth diapers, left without a car all day, no ability to have anything delivered, cooking from scratch daily. They got paid $0. No retirement account. No paid leave. For some women this was better, but for many it’s not.

I have to get my kids to soccer practice. Oh no.

Seriously I feel bad for people if we ever do experience another world war or Great Depression.

What jobs is 32h and pays $200k?? Sign me up!

I mean women have to wash dishes and change diapers just now squeezed in between working. Standards were much lower, and it wasn’t like what you did could advance your children’s station in life so there was more acceptance.

It certainly is better, but women feel if they aren’t doing enough for their family they will fall behind, so that pressure is novel to the modern age.

[Anonymous]

All BS!! My parents had two job each.

Man earn money, pay mortgage and all bills plus take care all home repairs, mow lawn, shows snow, maintain cars.

Woman raise kids and take care of chores like cooking and laundry.

Worked fine. And nonsense SAHMs need money via job. Only one man in family every outlived wife, the woman got 100 percent man’s SS, and assets.

Heck my Aunt who died at 98 in 2020. Lived in a mortgage free three bedroom coop in Gramercy park on a 100k a year tax free pension. She was worth many millions, got married at 18 and never worked. Her two sons one was a CEO the other a CFO a Fortune 500 company. Husband focused making money she focused on house, granted living in a luxury 3 bedroom doorman coop her work was easier than most wifes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are soft.

I spend 32 hours in a climate controlled office for hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. Health insurance where I have access to all different types of doctors, weeks of paid leave a year, sick leave etc.

Women used to be stuck at home doing laundry and dishes by hand, cloth diapers, left without a car all day, no ability to have anything delivered, cooking from scratch daily. They got paid $0. No retirement account. No paid leave. For some women this was better, but for many it’s not.

I have to get my kids to soccer practice. Oh no.

Seriously I feel bad for people if we ever do experience another world war or Great Depression.

What jobs is 32h and pays $200k?? Sign me up!

I mean women have to wash dishes and change diapers just now squeezed in between working. Standards were much lower, and it wasn’t like what you did could advance your children’s station in life so there was more acceptance.

It certainly is better, but women feel if they aren’t doing enough for their family they will fall behind, so that pressure is novel to the modern age.

Plenty of Gen X women worked full time out of the house all day and then did child care and the second shift. Why are millennials always thinking that they invented everything? 😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are soft.

I spend 32 hours in a climate controlled office for hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. Health insurance where I have access to all different types of doctors, weeks of paid leave a year, sick leave etc.

Women used to be stuck at home doing laundry and dishes by hand, cloth diapers, left without a car all day, no ability to have anything delivered, cooking from scratch daily. They got paid $0. No retirement account. No paid leave. For some women this was better, but for many it’s not.

I have to get my kids to soccer practice. Oh no.

Seriously I feel bad for people if we ever do experience another world war or Great Depression.

What jobs is 32h and pays $200k?? Sign me up!

I mean women have to wash dishes and change diapers just now squeezed in between working. Standards were much lower, and it wasn’t like what you did could advance your children’s station in life so there was more acceptance.

It certainly is better, but women feel if they aren’t doing enough for their family they will fall behind, so that pressure is novel to the modern age.

Plenty of Gen X women worked full time out of the house all day and then did child care and the second shift. Why are millennials always thinking that they invented everything? 😂

We don’t think we invented it, we just think it’s a scam and don’t want to do it. I guess you were ok with it.