The working parent grind is so exhausting.

[Anonymous]

I am 40 with two early elementary school kids and I feel like every week is a whirlwind. I work in the office four days a week and my 30-40 min commute is now an hour plus each way thanks to no more federal telework (I am not a fed). All I do is work, whatever we have going on after school, and collapse into bed. I don't see my husband during week and feel like I am so burnt out from my job and commute that I am not as good of a mom as I can be. Is this just how it is? IDK how I am going to make it to retirement.

[Anonymous]

This is how I feel some weeks - especially in May and December. If you feel like this all the time, it might be time for changes. But this time of year what you’re describing is common!

[Anonymous]

Right! I am so exhausted after working and then picking all the kids up. I was really sad about this yesterday thinking about how work gets the best version of me and my kids get the tired version.

[Anonymous]

I did this for years and don't know how. When we got to telework during covid, i was so hopeful my younger co-workers could keep this perk going forward and recover a few hours in the day. My daughter loves going into her DC office (no kids) but like you, not so much anymore with the traffic.

[Anonymous]

You or spouse might need a more telework or wfh job. You might need a leave of absence. You might need to pay for more outsourcing (groceries, housekeeping, etc) . One of you might need to leave the workforce for a few years.

I did it w two working parents w no local help and 5 days a week in the office and it sux.

[Anonymous]

It’s awful - especially because we all know it does not need to be this way for many professional workers who sit on Teams. All of these anti- worker policies directly harm families and kids.

[Anonymous]

Same. I focused more on my kids this year because one needed a lot of help in the first year of high school, and my career took a hit. It's the first year in my career that I haven't met my hours goal. It feels like I can't win at both. I know some moms can pull it off, but throw in one wrinkle, like a neurodivergent kid, and it feels almost impossible.

[Anonymous]

Yes. It gets both better and worse as the kids get older - better because they're more independent, but worse because they're busier, the stakes feel higher, and time with them feels shorter.

We make it work by having my DH in a job that allows 80% telework, and I have the "big" (comparatively) job that is all in person plus nights from home, but I have a lot of PTO. We are leaning into vacations to spend time together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same. I focused more on my kids this year because one needed a lot of help in the first year of high school, and my career took a hit. It's the first year in my career that I haven't met my hours goal. It feels like I can't win at both. I know some moms can pull it off, but throw in one wrinkle, like a neurodivergent kid, and it feels almost impossible.

This. I left full time work years ago and it never feels fair. But my neurodivergent kid needs more support than any nanny is willing to provide, and was one infraction away from being suspended from group childcare. We now spend our lives in therapy waiting rooms. OP, can you take a break? It gave my family so much sanity back.

[Anonymous]

It is super exhausting and requires a high degree of planning and logistics management. This is the world we live in, though.

[Anonymous]

Both DH and I have taken on lower paying careers in order to work remotely. It is worth it. The years I was in the office were miserable and I am never going back!

[Anonymous]

Dual feds here who took pay cuts for the flexibility of being a fed. Jokes on us I guess.

I am so tired. And school this year has just been exhausting- nonstop days off, inconsistent schedules. And now the craziness of camps is about to begin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s awful - especially because we all know it does not need to be this way for many professional workers who sit on Teams. All of these anti- worker policies directly harm families and kids.

Amen! No wonder the birthright is declining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 40 with two early elementary school kids and I feel like every week is a whirlwind. I work in the office four days a week and my 30-40 min commute is now an hour plus each way thanks to no more federal telework (I am not a fed). All I do is work, whatever we have going on after school, and collapse into bed. I don't see my husband during week and feel like I am so burnt out from my job and commute that I am not as good of a mom as I can be. Is this just how it is? IDK how I am going to make it to retirement.

Isn't this the Feminist dream?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 40 with two early elementary school kids and I feel like every week is a whirlwind. I work in the office four days a week and my 30-40 min commute is now an hour plus each way thanks to no more federal telework (I am not a fed). All I do is work, whatever we have going on after school, and collapse into bed. I don't see my husband during week and feel like I am so burnt out from my job and commute that I am not as good of a mom as I can be. Is this just how it is? IDK how I am going to make it to retirement.

Isn't this the Feminist dream?

Genuine question - what motivates you to post this?