The working parent grind is so exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are soft.

I spend 32 hours in a climate controlled office for hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. Health insurance where I have access to all different types of doctors, weeks of paid leave a year, sick leave etc.

Women used to be stuck at home doing laundry and dishes by hand, cloth diapers, left without a car all day, no ability to have anything delivered, cooking from scratch daily. They got paid $0. No retirement account. No paid leave. For some women this was better, but for many it’s not.

I have to get my kids to soccer practice. Oh no.

Seriously I feel bad for people if we ever do experience another world war or Great Depression.

What jobs is 32h and pays $200k?? Sign me up!

I mean women have to wash dishes and change diapers just now squeezed in between working. Standards were much lower, and it wasn’t like what you did could advance your children’s station in life so there was more acceptance.

It certainly is better, but women feel if they aren’t doing enough for their family they will fall behind, so that pressure is novel to the modern age.

Plenty of Gen X women worked full time out of the house all day and then did child care and the second shift. Why are millennials always thinking that they invented everything? 😂

We don’t think we invented it, we just think it’s a scam and don’t want to do it. I guess you were ok with it.

The problem is the alternatives aren’t any better.

When you’re in your 30s and even early 40s, life without kids is grand. But then you age and you don’t have a family. Kids are the glue that keep most people together. Kids keep you young as you experience things all over again. In your 40s you realize how dumb white collar work is and it’s a means to an end. You end up with another set of problems if your identity is the silly job and travel. Too much time on your hands and not enough purpose.

If you mean the DW not working, well then you end up with a lot less money.

No, the idea is to build a world where both men and women can support the family financially and care for children and the household at home without running themselves ragged.

No one should be running themselves ragged living as normal adults with 2 kids. It’s called life. Do you really expect to have kids and a job and chill on the sofa from 5 - 10 pm?

We have never had as much leisure time as we do now. We also have birth control to prevent unwanted children. Really life is not as difficult as you think. Let me guess - you sit in a climate controlled office every day and this is too much for you? You have to take a kid to a sporting event on Saturday and would rather be doing….what exactly? Are you a drinker?

Ah yes, things have improved since the black death I’ll give you that.

DP. You're just a negative moaner.

A PP keeps popping in saying “at least you should be happy to work in an air conditioned office” etc nonsense. The people complaining on this thread excelled at school invested the time and pursued these jobs, the fact that society doesn’t support parents was not something that was visible to a 20 year old navigating career. Having AC is table stakes

I excelled in school and still work in a crappy school building with no a/c and mold and bugs. I don’t think it’s a grind and I work two jobs and I’m a single parent. This is what I signed up for. Unless you have health issues or had your kids very late in life, you shouldn’t be this tired from being a parent.

Anyone can be anyone on the internet. Most people who actually work two jobs and are single parents would say it's a lot. Maybe you are the exception, or maybe you are trying to make a point via a claim no one here can verify.

I have two kids on my own and always have (my ex left when they were babies). Maybe it’s easier when it’s always been just me. I was raised by a capable single mom so that helped. I have single mom friends who find it harder because they had help for years before getting divorced. Maybe the wanting what you used to have is what makes it harder. I’m grateful that I have great jobs to pay the bills even if we are DCUMs poor.

My kids are low sleep needs and we parent approx 90 hours more per month compared to a family with high sleep needs kids. Ex my 20 mo old didnt nap this weekend. She will only sleep 11 hours per 24 hr period and yet some of her toddler classmates still take 2 naps and sleep 10+ hours overnight (14 hrs). Thats 3 hours more per day we are playing, managing, etc. 3*30= 90 hours. I promise you we are more tired than parents with high sleep needs kids with all other variables being reasonably consistent (i.e. both parents working, no grandparent help, 2 kids). She also has severe allergies and we spend more in healthcare and will be in a clinical trial so she can grow out of it. Again, the time off for these appointments, managing the schedule, using vacation time, etc. all a bit harder.

It just what it is for our family but I dont think that other families- who dont have similar time and energy utilizers- arent also struggling. If you have a 2 parent household that has one parent who only needs 5 hrs of sleep, they will find parenthood easier compared to 2 parents who both need 7-8hrs. If you use tablets and TV at all hours then yes your kids are entertained and thus you can do what you do.

The working parent grind is difficult and the data does show that this current generation spends more time with their kids compared to prior generations. No grandparent summers. No full day 7-6 at school and aftercare norm. Not many latchkey kids abandoned. Less parentification. Its a better deal for kids as long as they are gradually given autonomy and independence but its much more intensive for parents.

[Anonymous]

Single mom here. I hate being busy but I have to work FT. My kids don’t do a bunch of afterschool stuff because it’s expensive and I don’t want to be running around all afternoon and evening. They are in aftercare while I tutor and then we go home. They do one summer camp of their choice each summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are soft.

I spend 32 hours in a climate controlled office for hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. Health insurance where I have access to all different types of doctors, weeks of paid leave a year, sick leave etc.

Women used to be stuck at home doing laundry and dishes by hand, cloth diapers, left without a car all day, no ability to have anything delivered, cooking from scratch daily. They got paid $0. No retirement account. No paid leave. For some women this was better, but for many it’s not.

I have to get my kids to soccer practice. Oh no.

Seriously I feel bad for people if we ever do experience another world war or Great Depression.

What jobs is 32h and pays $200k?? Sign me up!

I mean women have to wash dishes and change diapers just now squeezed in between working. Standards were much lower, and it wasn’t like what you did could advance your children’s station in life so there was more acceptance.

It certainly is better, but women feel if they aren’t doing enough for their family they will fall behind, so that pressure is novel to the modern age.

Plenty of Gen X women worked full time out of the house all day and then did child care and the second shift. Why are millennials always thinking that they invented everything? 😂

We don’t think we invented it, we just think it’s a scam and don’t want to do it. I guess you were ok with it.

The problem is the alternatives aren’t any better.

When you’re in your 30s and even early 40s, life without kids is grand. But then you age and you don’t have a family. Kids are the glue that keep most people together. Kids keep you young as you experience things all over again. In your 40s you realize how dumb white collar work is and it’s a means to an end. You end up with another set of problems if your identity is the silly job and travel. Too much time on your hands and not enough purpose.

If you mean the DW not working, well then you end up with a lot less money.

No, the idea is to build a world where both men and women can support the family financially and care for children and the household at home without running themselves ragged.

No one should be running themselves ragged living as normal adults with 2 kids. It’s called life. Do you really expect to have kids and a job and chill on the sofa from 5 - 10 pm?

We have never had as much leisure time as we do now. We also have birth control to prevent unwanted children. Really life is not as difficult as you think. Let me guess - you sit in a climate controlled office every day and this is too much for you? You have to take a kid to a sporting event on Saturday and would rather be doing….what exactly? Are you a drinker?

Ah yes, things have improved since the black death I’ll give you that.

DP. You're just a negative moaner.

A PP keeps popping in saying “at least you should be happy to work in an air conditioned office” etc nonsense. The people complaining on this thread excelled at school invested the time and pursued these jobs, the fact that society doesn’t support parents was not something that was visible to a 20 year old navigating career. Having AC is table stakes

I excelled in school and still work in a crappy school building with no a/c and mold and bugs. I don’t think it’s a grind and I work two jobs and I’m a single parent. This is what I signed up for. Unless you have health issues or had your kids very late in life, you shouldn’t be this tired from being a parent.

Anyone can be anyone on the internet. Most people who actually work two jobs and are single parents would say it's a lot. Maybe you are the exception, or maybe you are trying to make a point via a claim no one here can verify.

I have two kids on my own and always have (my ex left when they were babies). Maybe it’s easier when it’s always been just me. I was raised by a capable single mom so that helped. I have single mom friends who find it harder because they had help for years before getting divorced. Maybe the wanting what you used to have is what makes it harder. I’m grateful that I have great jobs to pay the bills even if we are DCUMs poor.

My kids are low sleep needs and we parent approx 90 hours more per month compared to a family with high sleep needs kids. Ex my 20 mo old didnt nap this weekend. She will only sleep 11 hours per 24 hr period and yet some of her toddler classmates still take 2 naps and sleep 10+ hours overnight (14 hrs). Thats 3 hours more per day we are playing, managing, etc. 3*30= 90 hours. I promise you we are more tired than parents with high sleep needs kids with all other variables being reasonably consistent (i.e. both parents working, no grandparent help, 2 kids). She also has severe allergies and we spend more in healthcare and will be in a clinical trial so she can grow out of it. Again, the time off for these appointments, managing the schedule, using vacation time, etc. all a bit harder.

It just what it is for our family but I dont think that other families- who dont have similar time and energy utilizers- arent also struggling. If you have a 2 parent household that has one parent who only needs 5 hrs of sleep, they will find parenthood easier compared to 2 parents who both need 7-8hrs. If you use tablets and TV at all hours then yes your kids are entertained and thus you can do what you do.

The working parent grind is difficult and the data does show that this current generation spends more time with their kids compared to prior generations. No grandparent summers. No full day 7-6 at school and aftercare norm. Not many latchkey kids abandoned. Less parentification. Its a better deal for kids as long as they are gradually given autonomy and independence but its much more intensive for parents.

Two kids is barely a family. I say that as my Mom had four kids and my sister and me last to leave and house felt empty just two kids. My friend has six kids and when only 2 home Mom was like is spa relaxation mode

Maybe gave 2-3 more kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are soft.

I spend 32 hours in a climate controlled office for hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. Health insurance where I have access to all different types of doctors, weeks of paid leave a year, sick leave etc.

Women used to be stuck at home doing laundry and dishes by hand, cloth diapers, left without a car all day, no ability to have anything delivered, cooking from scratch daily. They got paid $0. No retirement account. No paid leave. For some women this was better, but for many it’s not.

I have to get my kids to soccer practice. Oh no.

Seriously I feel bad for people if we ever do experience another world war or Great Depression.

What jobs is 32h and pays $200k?? Sign me up!

I mean women have to wash dishes and change diapers just now squeezed in between working. Standards were much lower, and it wasn’t like what you did could advance your children’s station in life so there was more acceptance.

It certainly is better, but women feel if they aren’t doing enough for their family they will fall behind, so that pressure is novel to the modern age.

Plenty of Gen X women worked full time out of the house all day and then did child care and the second shift. Why are millennials always thinking that they invented everything? 😂

We don’t think we invented it, we just think it’s a scam and don’t want to do it. I guess you were ok with it.

The problem is the alternatives aren’t any better.

When you’re in your 30s and even early 40s, life without kids is grand. But then you age and you don’t have a family. Kids are the glue that keep most people together. Kids keep you young as you experience things all over again. In your 40s you realize how dumb white collar work is and it’s a means to an end. You end up with another set of problems if your identity is the silly job and travel. Too much time on your hands and not enough purpose.

If you mean the DW not working, well then you end up with a lot less money.

No, the idea is to build a world where both men and women can support the family financially and care for children and the household at home without running themselves ragged.

No one should be running themselves ragged living as normal adults with 2 kids. It’s called life. Do you really expect to have kids and a job and chill on the sofa from 5 - 10 pm?

We have never had as much leisure time as we do now. We also have birth control to prevent unwanted children. Really life is not as difficult as you think. Let me guess - you sit in a climate controlled office every day and this is too much for you? You have to take a kid to a sporting event on Saturday and would rather be doing….what exactly? Are you a drinker?

Ah yes, things have improved since the black death I’ll give you that.

DP. You're just a negative moaner.

A PP keeps popping in saying “at least you should be happy to work in an air conditioned office” etc nonsense. The people complaining on this thread excelled at school invested the time and pursued these jobs, the fact that society doesn’t support parents was not something that was visible to a 20 year old navigating career. Having AC is table stakes

I excelled in school and still work in a crappy school building with no a/c and mold and bugs. I don’t think it’s a grind and I work two jobs and I’m a single parent. This is what I signed up for. Unless you have health issues or had your kids very late in life, you shouldn’t be this tired from being a parent.

Anyone can be anyone on the internet. Most people who actually work two jobs and are single parents would say it's a lot. Maybe you are the exception, or maybe you are trying to make a point via a claim no one here can verify.

I have two kids on my own and always have (my ex left when they were babies). Maybe it’s easier when it’s always been just me. I was raised by a capable single mom so that helped. I have single mom friends who find it harder because they had help for years before getting divorced. Maybe the wanting what you used to have is what makes it harder. I’m grateful that I have great jobs to pay the bills even if we are DCUMs poor.

My kids are low sleep needs and we parent approx 90 hours more per month compared to a family with high sleep needs kids. Ex my 20 mo old didnt nap this weekend. She will only sleep 11 hours per 24 hr period and yet some of her toddler classmates still take 2 naps and sleep 10+ hours overnight (14 hrs). Thats 3 hours more per day we are playing, managing, etc. 3*30= 90 hours. I promise you we are more tired than parents with high sleep needs kids with all other variables being reasonably consistent (i.e. both parents working, no grandparent help, 2 kids). She also has severe allergies and we spend more in healthcare and will be in a clinical trial so she can grow out of it. Again, the time off for these appointments, managing the schedule, using vacation time, etc. all a bit harder.

It just what it is for our family but I dont think that other families- who dont have similar time and energy utilizers- arent also struggling. If you have a 2 parent household that has one parent who only needs 5 hrs of sleep, they will find parenthood easier compared to 2 parents who both need 7-8hrs. If you use tablets and TV at all hours then yes your kids are entertained and thus you can do what you do.

The working parent grind is difficult and the data does show that this current generation spends more time with their kids compared to prior generations. No grandparent summers. No full day 7-6 at school and aftercare norm. Not many latchkey kids abandoned. Less parentification. Its a better deal for kids as long as they are gradually given autonomy and independence but its much more intensive for parents.

Two kids is barely a family. I say that as my Mom had four kids and my sister and me last to leave and house felt empty just two kids. My friend has six kids and when only 2 home Mom was like is spa relaxation mode

Maybe gave 2-3 more kids

You have no kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are soft.

I spend 32 hours in a climate controlled office for hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. Health insurance where I have access to all different types of doctors, weeks of paid leave a year, sick leave etc.

Women used to be stuck at home doing laundry and dishes by hand, cloth diapers, left without a car all day, no ability to have anything delivered, cooking from scratch daily. They got paid $0. No retirement account. No paid leave. For some women this was better, but for many it’s not.

I have to get my kids to soccer practice. Oh no.

Seriously I feel bad for people if we ever do experience another world war or Great Depression.

What jobs is 32h and pays $200k?? Sign me up!

I mean women have to wash dishes and change diapers just now squeezed in between working. Standards were much lower, and it wasn’t like what you did could advance your children’s station in life so there was more acceptance.

It certainly is better, but women feel if they aren’t doing enough for their family they will fall behind, so that pressure is novel to the modern age.

Plenty of Gen X women worked full time out of the house all day and then did child care and the second shift. Why are millennials always thinking that they invented everything? 😂

We don’t think we invented it, we just think it’s a scam and don’t want to do it. I guess you were ok with it.

The problem is the alternatives aren’t any better.

When you’re in your 30s and even early 40s, life without kids is grand. But then you age and you don’t have a family. Kids are the glue that keep most people together. Kids keep you young as you experience things all over again. In your 40s you realize how dumb white collar work is and it’s a means to an end. You end up with another set of problems if your identity is the silly job and travel. Too much time on your hands and not enough purpose.

If you mean the DW not working, well then you end up with a lot less money.

No, the idea is to build a world where both men and women can support the family financially and care for children and the household at home without running themselves ragged.

No one should be running themselves ragged living as normal adults with 2 kids. It’s called life. Do you really expect to have kids and a job and chill on the sofa from 5 - 10 pm?

We have never had as much leisure time as we do now. We also have birth control to prevent unwanted children. Really life is not as difficult as you think. Let me guess - you sit in a climate controlled office every day and this is too much for you? You have to take a kid to a sporting event on Saturday and would rather be doing….what exactly? Are you a drinker?

Ah yes, things have improved since the black death I’ll give you that.

DP. You're just a negative moaner.

A PP keeps popping in saying “at least you should be happy to work in an air conditioned office” etc nonsense. The people complaining on this thread excelled at school invested the time and pursued these jobs, the fact that society doesn’t support parents was not something that was visible to a 20 year old navigating career. Having AC is table stakes

I excelled in school and still work in a crappy school building with no a/c and mold and bugs. I don’t think it’s a grind and I work two jobs and I’m a single parent. This is what I signed up for. Unless you have health issues or had your kids very late in life, you shouldn’t be this tired from being a parent.

Anyone can be anyone on the internet. Most people who actually work two jobs and are single parents would say it's a lot. Maybe you are the exception, or maybe you are trying to make a point via a claim no one here can verify.

I have two kids on my own and always have (my ex left when they were babies). Maybe it’s easier when it’s always been just me. I was raised by a capable single mom so that helped. I have single mom friends who find it harder because they had help for years before getting divorced. Maybe the wanting what you used to have is what makes it harder. I’m grateful that I have great jobs to pay the bills even if we are DCUMs poor.

How exactly does your weekday work?

7am kids awake
730am drop kids at before care
8am - 5pm work
530pm pick up kids aftercare
6pm make dinner clean dishes
7pm maybe some family time or reading etc
8pm bed
9pm — 11pm the laundry cleaning etc that is defer

[Anonymous]

I have two kids on my own and always have (my ex left when they were babies). Maybe it’s easier when it’s always been just me. I was raised by a capable single mom so that helped. I have single mom friends who find it harder because they had help for years before getting divorced. Maybe the wanting what you used to have is what makes it harder. I’m grateful that I have great jobs to pay the bills even if we are DCUMs poor.

How exactly does your weekday work?

5:30- I wake up. Make lunches (although my kids will be doing that the night before school starting next year), get myself ready.

6:15- I wake the kids up although sometimes they are up by then. They eat breakfast, get dressed, etc.

6:40- We leave for school. I drop them off at their school. They go to before care which opens at 7am.

7:20- I get to my school. Teach all day. I work two hours a day tutoring at our aftercare program which run M-TH.

5:00- I leave my school and pick up the kids at aftercare. We occasionally run errands after school (grocery store, etc).

5:30-6:00- I make dinner while the kids do whatever homework they might have left (most is done in aftercare). They play if their chores are done.

6:30ish- Dinner and they help clean up (one sets the table and one clears and then they alternate each week). Twice a week they have an activity (one does scouts and the other does ballet). One those two nights we eat leftovers.

7:00- When it's light outside, we either take a walk or they ride bikes or scooter after dinner.

7:30- Baths/showers, etc and then they go to bed by 8:00 or so.

I finish cleaning up and then I read or watch Netflix while grading, paying bills, etc.

That's about it. Weekends are some errands, laundry at the laundromat, visits to free places like parks, etc. Sometimes they will have a friend over or go to a friend's house or birthday party. Occasionally, there is a scouting activity or a dance recital. Pretty typical stuff. I had a very similar growing up to this.