She wants a very high-quality man—what are her chances?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t really know her chances, but my gut instinct is that she needed to lock down this type before graduating from college. Once men like that are out of college, they’re going to have met so many women who bring more to the table.

She seems like a good match for a clergyman or politician.

Wives of clergymen and politicians cannot be introverted and friendless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, update. So my younger cousin is home from school visiting, and we talked, and I told her everything that was said here. She still thinks she’s capable of finding that kind of man. I told her she needs to be more independent (like driving), and she said she’ll think about it and work on it later, when she actually needs to. She doesn’t really see the need to drive right now, but says if it becomes necessary in the future—like when she has kids and needs to handle school activities or emergencies—then she’ll learn. That’s mainly why she hasn’t prioritized it so far.

I also feel like I may have made her sound kind of helpless and bland, isn’t really accurate. She’s actually great with kids, very smart, self-aware, and aware of what’s going on around her and in the world. She’s always done really well in school too (4.0). She’s not clueless at all—she just lacks motivation when it comes to working or pursuing a career. The shyness is just part of her personality. She also doesn’t really have specific hobbies like yoga, sports, etc., but she is busy with school—she reads more in-depth material and does a lot of writing which she enjoys. Most of her time is spent doing schoolwork and spending time with family, so she’s not just wasting time. As for life skills like cooking and cleaning, she’s perfectly capable once she learns—she just didn’t have much experience before but is starting to learn now. She’s been asking me what kinds of meals men typically like, and I’ve been helping her learn how to cook—she’s actually doing really well with it.

You guys might assume, based on her age, that she’d be interested in someone her own age, but she’s actually very set on finding an older, more established man. She’s still very hopeful and set on this. She’s 21, a junior in college, and specifically interested in an older, more established man (she said up to ~15 years older but not much beyond that). She’s not really interested in guys her own age due to finances and just thinks they’re too young.

Her main question now is where she would even meet someone like this—like specific cities, places, or settings where older, established men tend to be. Are there certain apps, social scenes, or environments where this is more common? She says she’s willing to put in the effort to make it happen.

If she’s a really good student, and she wants to meet a doctor to marry, she should go to medical school. That’s where they are.

I’m a psychiatrist. I spent most of residency talking deeply and pontificating. It was great. And now I have a job that I like that’s very easy to do part time.

+1
The best place to meet those types is where you become one yourself. I’m a doctor and met my doctor husband during grad school.

BTW women prefer their equals. More and more men these days do too. It’s the insecure men who will marry down - and upgrade later.

While some doctors and lawyers seek to marry others doctors and lawyers, many do not prefer partners who are their equals. This is because these women typically aren’t willing to abandon their careers to become SAHM. Instead, these high-profile doctors and lawyers are often more attracted to beautiful nurses and legal assistants. The same goes for numerous successful businessmen.

I understand that your feminist side may not agree, but this is the reality.

Sure, a doctor may go for a nurse or a lawyer a paralegal but here we are talking about a helpless college student who wants no career and can’t drive a car. What successful man is looking for that?

Exactly. Those are women who have shown their energy, initiative, and intelligence. No they're not splitting atoms, but you don't get through nursing school or being a good paralegal without some smarts. Totally different from someone with zero initiative and zero accomplishments.

OP’s cousin is smart. She is a 4.0 student. She’s intelligent. She’s just not interested in a career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, update. So my younger cousin is home from school visiting, and we talked, and I told her everything that was said here. She still thinks she’s capable of finding that kind of man. I told her she needs to be more independent (like driving), and she said she’ll think about it and work on it later, when she actually needs to. She doesn’t really see the need to drive right now, but says if it becomes necessary in the future—like when she has kids and needs to handle school activities or emergencies—then she’ll learn. That’s mainly why she hasn’t prioritized it so far.

I also feel like I may have made her sound kind of helpless and bland, isn’t really accurate. She’s actually great with kids, very smart, self-aware, and aware of what’s going on around her and in the world. She’s always done really well in school too (4.0). She’s not clueless at all—she just lacks motivation when it comes to working or pursuing a career. The shyness is just part of her personality. She also doesn’t really have specific hobbies like yoga, sports, etc., but she is busy with school—she reads more in-depth material and does a lot of writing which she enjoys. Most of her time is spent doing schoolwork and spending time with family, so she’s not just wasting time. As for life skills like cooking and cleaning, she’s perfectly capable once she learns—she just didn’t have much experience before but is starting to learn now. She’s been asking me what kinds of meals men typically like, and I’ve been helping her learn how to cook—she’s actually doing really well with it.

You guys might assume, based on her age, that she’d be interested in someone her own age, but she’s actually very set on finding an older, more established man. She’s still very hopeful and set on this. She’s 21, a junior in college, and specifically interested in an older, more established man (she said up to ~15 years older but not much beyond that). She’s not really interested in guys her own age due to finances and just thinks they’re too young.

Her main question now is where she would even meet someone like this—like specific cities, places, or settings where older, established men tend to be. Are there certain apps, social scenes, or environments where this is more common? She says she’s willing to put in the effort to make it happen.

If she’s a really good student, and she wants to meet a doctor to marry, she should go to medical school. That’s where they are.

I’m a psychiatrist. I spent most of residency talking deeply and pontificating. It was great. And now I have a job that I like that’s very easy to do part time.

+1
The best place to meet those types is where you become one yourself. I’m a doctor and met my doctor husband during grad school.

BTW women prefer their equals. More and more men these days do too. It’s the insecure men who will marry down - and upgrade later.

While some doctors and lawyers seek to marry others doctors and lawyers, many do not prefer partners who are their equals. This is because these women typically aren’t willing to abandon their careers to become SAHM. Instead, these high-profile doctors and lawyers are often more attracted to beautiful nurses and legal assistants. The same goes for numerous successful businessmen.

I understand that your feminist side may not agree, but this is the reality.

Sure, a doctor may go for a nurse or a lawyer a paralegal but here we are talking about a helpless college student who wants no career and can’t drive a car. What successful man is looking for that?

Exactly. Those are women who have shown their energy, initiative, and intelligence. No they're not splitting atoms, but you don't get through nursing school or being a good paralegal without some smarts. Totally different from someone with zero initiative and zero accomplishments.

OP’s cousin is smart. She is a 4.0 student. She’s intelligent. She’s just not interested in a career.

She is not interested in driving a car or having other basic life skills you would expect of a teenager, what man wants someone this helpless?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, update. So my younger cousin is home from school visiting, and we talked, and I told her everything that was said here. She still thinks she’s capable of finding that kind of man. I told her she needs to be more independent (like driving), and she said she’ll think about it and work on it later, when she actually needs to. She doesn’t really see the need to drive right now, but says if it becomes necessary in the future—like when she has kids and needs to handle school activities or emergencies—then she’ll learn. That’s mainly why she hasn’t prioritized it so far.

I also feel like I may have made her sound kind of helpless and bland, isn’t really accurate. She’s actually great with kids, very smart, self-aware, and aware of what’s going on around her and in the world. She’s always done really well in school too (4.0). She’s not clueless at all—she just lacks motivation when it comes to working or pursuing a career. The shyness is just part of her personality. She also doesn’t really have specific hobbies like yoga, sports, etc., but she is busy with school—she reads more in-depth material and does a lot of writing which she enjoys. Most of her time is spent doing schoolwork and spending time with family, so she’s not just wasting time. As for life skills like cooking and cleaning, she’s perfectly capable once she learns—she just didn’t have much experience before but is starting to learn now. She’s been asking me what kinds of meals men typically like, and I’ve been helping her learn how to cook—she’s actually doing really well with it.

You guys might assume, based on her age, that she’d be interested in someone her own age, but she’s actually very set on finding an older, more established man. She’s still very hopeful and set on this. She’s 21, a junior in college, and specifically interested in an older, more established man (she said up to ~15 years older but not much beyond that). She’s not really interested in guys her own age due to finances and just thinks they’re too young.

Her main question now is where she would even meet someone like this—like specific cities, places, or settings where older, established men tend to be. Are there certain apps, social scenes, or environments where this is more common? She says she’s willing to put in the effort to make it happen.

If she’s a really good student, and she wants to meet a doctor to marry, she should go to medical school. That’s where they are.

I’m a psychiatrist. I spent most of residency talking deeply and pontificating. It was great. And now I have a job that I like that’s very easy to do part time.

+1
The best place to meet those types is where you become one yourself. I’m a doctor and met my doctor husband during grad school.

BTW women prefer their equals. More and more men these days do too. It’s the insecure men who will marry down - and upgrade later.

While some doctors and lawyers seek to marry others doctors and lawyers, many do not prefer partners who are their equals. This is because these women typically aren’t willing to abandon their careers to become SAHM. Instead, these high-profile doctors and lawyers are often more attracted to beautiful nurses and legal assistants. The same goes for numerous successful businessmen.

I understand that your feminist side may not agree, but this is the reality.

Sure, a doctor may go for a nurse or a lawyer a paralegal but here we are talking about a helpless college student who wants no career and can’t drive a car. What successful man is looking for that?

Exactly. Those are women who have shown their energy, initiative, and intelligence. No they're not splitting atoms, but you don't get through nursing school or being a good paralegal without some smarts. Totally different from someone with zero initiative and zero accomplishments.

OP’s cousin is smart. She is a 4.0 student. She’s intelligent. She’s just not interested in a career.

He's going to need more than just future promises to do things excellently, from someone who has no real-life skills. Men are attracted to women at work because they're very clearly showing that they are capable people in the real world, not just school.

Also there's no chance of her being an effective hostess if she can't warm up, or at least convincingly fake warming up, to her own in-laws!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, update. So my younger cousin is home from school visiting, and we talked, and I told her everything that was said here. She still thinks she’s capable of finding that kind of man. I told her she needs to be more independent (like driving), and she said she’ll think about it and work on it later, when she actually needs to. She doesn’t really see the need to drive right now, but says if it becomes necessary in the future—like when she has kids and needs to handle school activities or emergencies—then she’ll learn. That’s mainly why she hasn’t prioritized it so far.

I also feel like I may have made her sound kind of helpless and bland, isn’t really accurate. She’s actually great with kids, very smart, self-aware, and aware of what’s going on around her and in the world. She’s always done really well in school too (4.0). She’s not clueless at all—she just lacks motivation when it comes to working or pursuing a career. The shyness is just part of her personality. She also doesn’t really have specific hobbies like yoga, sports, etc., but she is busy with school—she reads more in-depth material and does a lot of writing which she enjoys. Most of her time is spent doing schoolwork and spending time with family, so she’s not just wasting time. As for life skills like cooking and cleaning, she’s perfectly capable once she learns—she just didn’t have much experience before but is starting to learn now. She’s been asking me what kinds of meals men typically like, and I’ve been helping her learn how to cook—she’s actually doing really well with it.

You guys might assume, based on her age, that she’d be interested in someone her own age, but she’s actually very set on finding an older, more established man. She’s still very hopeful and set on this. She’s 21, a junior in college, and specifically interested in an older, more established man (she said up to ~15 years older but not much beyond that). She’s not really interested in guys her own age due to finances and just thinks they’re too young.

Her main question now is where she would even meet someone like this—like specific cities, places, or settings where older, established men tend to be. Are there certain apps, social scenes, or environments where this is more common? She says she’s willing to put in the effort to make it happen.

If she’s a really good student, and she wants to meet a doctor to marry, she should go to medical school. That’s where they are.

I’m a psychiatrist. I spent most of residency talking deeply and pontificating. It was great. And now I have a job that I like that’s very easy to do part time.

+1
The best place to meet those types is where you become one yourself. I’m a doctor and met my doctor husband during grad school.

BTW women prefer their equals. More and more men these days do too. It’s the insecure men who will marry down - and upgrade later.

While some doctors and lawyers seek to marry others doctors and lawyers, many do not prefer partners who are their equals. This is because these women typically aren’t willing to abandon their careers to become SAHM. Instead, these high-profile doctors and lawyers are often more attracted to beautiful nurses and legal assistants. The same goes for numerous successful businessmen.

I understand that your feminist side may not agree, but this is the reality.

Doctor pp here. This isn’t my “feminist side.” This is just reality. If you want to go where the doctors are, they are in med school or hospitals.
I don’t think many people are as pragmatic as you are giving them credit for when they fall in love and get married. Most people meet someone they are attracted to and feel comfortable and compatible with and then move forward or break up if there is an issue.

It would take a remarkable young adult to not only realize that he is kind of selfish and career focused, but then to go on and use that self-knowledge when considering who to date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. People on here are petty and jealous.

I know a number of scenarios similar to what this girl wants. Yes, she’s going to have to compromise on some things here and there, but there definitely is the model of attractive/attentive woman who marries a career focused man who wants someone to cater to them. This is not as uncommon as people on here want to admit. In my world, this woman typically comes with some sort of ‘acceptable’ background- went to a good school, from an UMC family, and typically has some sort of limited use but interesting degree/education.

Examples that I know.
MFA with a lawyer from a wealthy family
Studio art major with a cardiologist
Art history major with finance/business bro
Special ed degree with a doctor (btw- this is the exception to ‘useless’ degree)

None of these women worked

Sure, but normally these women are functioning members of society even if their focus is on the home. They are on the board of the library, part of the local women’s club, volunteering in schools. In many cases they have traveled and worked a bit before focusing on home life. They’re not 22 year old passenger princesses who seem to lack interest in all basic adulting skills, but claim they will figure everything out for a ‘high quality’ man.

PP you’re not following. The example you cite are what these women often look like in the future. But my examples are true and match what op posted. An attractive, smart, fairly educated woman from a nice MC/UMC family who wants to marry, not have a career and is willing to cater to her husband as her primary focus.

It’s not the worst thing in the world and in many ways these relationships are easier than when two professionals match up.

PP - have you read the whole thread? These women aren’t/weren’t absolute wastes of space in their early 20s like the woman OP describes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. People on here are petty and jealous.

I know a number of scenarios similar to what this girl wants. Yes, she’s going to have to compromise on some things here and there, but there definitely is the model of attractive/attentive woman who marries a career focused man who wants someone to cater to them. This is not as uncommon as people on here want to admit. In my world, this woman typically comes with some sort of ‘acceptable’ background- went to a good school, from an UMC family, and typically has some sort of limited use but interesting degree/education.

Examples that I know.
MFA with a lawyer from a wealthy family
Studio art major with a cardiologist
Art history major with finance/business bro
Special ed degree with a doctor (btw- this is the exception to ‘useless’ degree)

None of these women worked

Sure, but normally these women are functioning members of society even if their focus is on the home. They are on the board of the library, part of the local women’s club, volunteering in schools. In many cases they have traveled and worked a bit before focusing on home life. They’re not 22 year old passenger princesses who seem to lack interest in all basic adulting skills, but claim they will figure everything out for a ‘high quality’ man.

PP you’re not following. The example you cite are what these women often look like in the future. But my examples are true and match what op posted. An attractive, smart, fairly educated woman from a nice MC/UMC family who wants to marry, not have a career and is willing to cater to her husband as her primary focus.

It’s not the worst thing in the world and in many ways these relationships are easier than when two professionals match up.

You read it perfectly. Many wealthy and successful men want a beautiful wife who is going to stay in the background and cater to them.

But they're not fool enough to believe someone with zero motivation is going to do it excellently. And they'll see the not-driving, can't-be-out-by-myself thing for the mental health problem that it is. They want a WIFE who is discreet and low-drama but is actually a highly capable partner in implementing their life agenda. Not a passenger princess who adds very little, especially when her beauty fades.

I’m the PP who knows a number of couples like this. You are wrong. Of course the women are educated and had some stated interests - art, music etc- but it was very clear they never intended to support themselves with these endeavors. Fwiw these couples are still together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, update. So my younger cousin is home from school visiting, and we talked, and I told her everything that was said here. She still thinks she’s capable of finding that kind of man. I told her she needs to be more independent (like driving), and she said she’ll think about it and work on it later, when she actually needs to. She doesn’t really see the need to drive right now, but says if it becomes necessary in the future—like when she has kids and needs to handle school activities or emergencies—then she’ll learn. That’s mainly why she hasn’t prioritized it so far.

I also feel like I may have made her sound kind of helpless and bland, isn’t really accurate. She’s actually great with kids, very smart, self-aware, and aware of what’s going on around her and in the world. She’s always done really well in school too (4.0). She’s not clueless at all—she just lacks motivation when it comes to working or pursuing a career. The shyness is just part of her personality. She also doesn’t really have specific hobbies like yoga, sports, etc., but she is busy with school—she reads more in-depth material and does a lot of writing which she enjoys. Most of her time is spent doing schoolwork and spending time with family, so she’s not just wasting time. As for life skills like cooking and cleaning, she’s perfectly capable once she learns—she just didn’t have much experience before but is starting to learn now. She’s been asking me what kinds of meals men typically like, and I’ve been helping her learn how to cook—she’s actually doing really well with it.

You guys might assume, based on her age, that she’d be interested in someone her own age, but she’s actually very set on finding an older, more established man. She’s still very hopeful and set on this. She’s 21, a junior in college, and specifically interested in an older, more established man (she said up to ~15 years older but not much beyond that). She’s not really interested in guys her own age due to finances and just thinks they’re too young.

Her main question now is where she would even meet someone like this—like specific cities, places, or settings where older, established men tend to be. Are there certain apps, social scenes, or environments where this is more common? She says she’s willing to put in the effort to make it happen.

If she’s a really good student, and she wants to meet a doctor to marry, she should go to medical school. That’s where they are.

I’m a psychiatrist. I spent most of residency talking deeply and pontificating. It was great. And now I have a job that I like that’s very easy to do part time.

+1
The best place to meet those types is where you become one yourself. I’m a doctor and met my doctor husband during grad school.

BTW women prefer their equals. More and more men these days do too. It’s the insecure men who will marry down - and upgrade later.

While some doctors and lawyers seek to marry others doctors and lawyers, many do not prefer partners who are their equals. This is because these women typically aren’t willing to abandon their careers to become SAHM. Instead, these high-profile doctors and lawyers are often more attracted to beautiful nurses and legal assistants. The same goes for numerous successful businessmen.

I understand that your feminist side may not agree, but this is the reality.

This actually isn't the reality in 2026 and hasn't been for several decades. Assortative mating is pretty locked in. The high profile lawyers and doctors who marry secretaries and flight attendants are the outliers. The wealthiest Wall Street guys I know brag about and compete with each other about making enough to "put your wife out of work." And the "own" in that is that the women they are putting out of work are high earning and very successful. Marrying a woman like OP describes is a real beta move.

It may be ‘beta’ - such a stupid term btw- but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. People on here are petty and jealous.

I know a number of scenarios similar to what this girl wants. Yes, she’s going to have to compromise on some things here and there, but there definitely is the model of attractive/attentive woman who marries a career focused man who wants someone to cater to them. This is not as uncommon as people on here want to admit. In my world, this woman typically comes with some sort of ‘acceptable’ background- went to a good school, from an UMC family, and typically has some sort of limited use but interesting degree/education.

Examples that I know.
MFA with a lawyer from a wealthy family
Studio art major with a cardiologist
Art history major with finance/business bro
Special ed degree with a doctor (btw- this is the exception to ‘useless’ degree)

None of these women worked

Sure, but normally these women are functioning members of society even if their focus is on the home. They are on the board of the library, part of the local women’s club, volunteering in schools. In many cases they have traveled and worked a bit before focusing on home life. They’re not 22 year old passenger princesses who seem to lack interest in all basic adulting skills, but claim they will figure everything out for a ‘high quality’ man.

PP you’re not following. The example you cite are what these women often look like in the future. But my examples are true and match what op posted. An attractive, smart, fairly educated woman from a nice MC/UMC family who wants to marry, not have a career and is willing to cater to her husband as her primary focus.

It’s not the worst thing in the world and in many ways these relationships are easier than when two professionals match up.

You read it perfectly. Many wealthy and successful men want a beautiful wife who is going to stay in the background and cater to them.

But they're not fool enough to believe someone with zero motivation is going to do it excellently. And they'll see the not-driving, can't-be-out-by-myself thing for the mental health problem that it is. They want a WIFE who is discreet and low-drama but is actually a highly capable partner in implementing their life agenda. Not a passenger princess who adds very little, especially when her beauty fades.

I’m the PP who knows a number of couples like this. You are wrong. Of course the women are educated and had some stated interests - art, music etc- but it was very clear they never intended to support themselves with these endeavors. Fwiw these couples are still together.

No, no, no. It's not about career or earnings. Those women are bringing things to the table that have value, and they are pretty normal adults who do things like drive cars and leave the house by themselves without it being a thing. OP's niece is bringing... Agoraphobia and passivity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you asking for someone you know?

Yes, a cousin. Forgot to add that she’s never worked and doesn’t plan to ever work.

No ambition at all. Deal breaker for me and you mentioned she doesn't drive. Maybe she can move to Saudi Arabia, they don't like their women to drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is great at hosting and event organizing then she can handle social life.

But how is this person great at hosting and event organizing if she’s introverted, has few friends, and doesn’t work? Makes no sense.

Also WTF is a “clean soft girl”?

I read that as no tattoos, no muscle tone, shampoos her hair regularly. Passive. So, ideal partner for a guy who doesn't want a wife who goes rock climbing or becomes troop leader for the kids' scout pack. Based on the no driving thing possibly she doesn't do casual sports either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. People on here are petty and jealous.

I know a number of scenarios similar to what this girl wants. Yes, she’s going to have to compromise on some things here and there, but there definitely is the model of attractive/attentive woman who marries a career focused man who wants someone to cater to them. This is not as uncommon as people on here want to admit. In my world, this woman typically comes with some sort of ‘acceptable’ background- went to a good school, from an UMC family, and typically has some sort of limited use but interesting degree/education.

Examples that I know.
MFA with a lawyer from a wealthy family
Studio art major with a cardiologist
Art history major with finance/business bro
Special ed degree with a doctor (btw- this is the exception to ‘useless’ degree)

None of these women worked

Sure, but normally these women are functioning members of society even if their focus is on the home. They are on the board of the library, part of the local women’s club, volunteering in schools. In many cases they have traveled and worked a bit before focusing on home life. They’re not 22 year old passenger princesses who seem to lack interest in all basic adulting skills, but claim they will figure everything out for a ‘high quality’ man.

Maybe we need to define what "high quality" actually is. The careers she seems to want potential husbands to have may be prestigious but sometimes aren't roads to wealth. Unless 35 year old surgeon had family who paid for med school he may have significant student loan debt and may not be able to provide the lifestyle the wannabe wife wants.

Maybe she needs to figure out what kind of family money she needs or yearly income she needs to provide her preferred lifestyle.

A man with inherited real estate in a prestigious zip code and a merely acceptable umc job may be able to provide her with the lifestyle she wants.

But, what kind of monthly, yearly or lifespan dollar amount does she need? What kind of house does she want in what kind of neighborhood? She doesn't drive, so doesn't need a car. But, presumably someone else will need to take the future kids somewhere. What kind of household help does she want? How many nannies? Where does she want to travel? What types of hotels? Does she want a summer house? Does she come with a dowery or inheritance of her own or merely the aura of a "good family"? If she has a dowery or significant trust fund of her own it makes her negotiable power better. A wealthy non driving heiress could live her best life with a surgeon with student loan debt? What's the dollar amount she needs for her preferred lifestyle? Maybe you should help her work on a spreadsheet with estimated costs for the line items of her expected future life? Figure out what she brings to the merger other than a 4.0 and a submissive nature. Also, is genuinely a blank slate of submissiveness? Or is she a passive aggressive passenger princess? If so that may have to be part of the pre nup strategy. She sounds like the younger version of the wife of a radiologist I know. But, radiologists used to make more money.

[Anonymous]

I don’t really know her chances, but my gut instinct is that she needed to lock down this type before graduating from college. Once men like that are out of college, they’re going to have met so many women who bring more to the table.

She seems like a good match for a clergyman or politician.

Ambitious men tend to marry their grad school girlfriends (or the women they meet between 25-28 if they skip grad school). No, I’m good for

Not saying it never happens, but I knew several women who made this bet with their college boyfriends and were sorely upset when they were dumped. They we’re not ambitious women who assumed getting into a procedure of college was sufficient to lock down a high earning husband.

[Anonymous]

What is her intellect and educational level?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. People on here are petty and jealous.

I know a number of scenarios similar to what this girl wants. Yes, she’s going to have to compromise on some things here and there, but there definitely is the model of attractive/attentive woman who marries a career focused man who wants someone to cater to them. This is not as uncommon as people on here want to admit. In my world, this woman typically comes with some sort of ‘acceptable’ background- went to a good school, from an UMC family, and typically has some sort of limited use but interesting degree/education.

Examples that I know.
MFA with a lawyer from a wealthy family
Studio art major with a cardiologist
Art history major with finance/business bro
Special ed degree with a doctor (btw- this is the exception to ‘useless’ degree)

None of these women worked

Sure, but normally these women are functioning members of society even if their focus is on the home. They are on the board of the library, part of the local women’s club, volunteering in schools. In many cases they have traveled and worked a bit before focusing on home life. They’re not 22 year old passenger princesses who seem to lack interest in all basic adulting skills, but claim they will figure everything out for a ‘high quality’ man.

PP you’re not following. The example you cite are what these women often look like in the future. But my examples are true and match what op posted. An attractive, smart, fairly educated woman from a nice MC/UMC family who wants to marry, not have a career and is willing to cater to her husband as her primary focus.

It’s not the worst thing in the world and in many ways these relationships are easier than when two professionals match up.

You read it perfectly. Many wealthy and successful men want a beautiful wife who is going to stay in the background and cater to them.

But they're not fool enough to believe someone with zero motivation is going to do it excellently. And they'll see the not-driving, can't-be-out-by-myself thing for the mental health problem that it is. They want a WIFE who is discreet and low-drama but is actually a highly capable partner in implementing their life agenda. Not a passenger princess who adds very little, especially when her beauty fades.

I’m the PP who knows a number of couples like this. You are wrong. Of course the women are educated and had some stated interests - art, music etc- but it was very clear they never intended to support themselves with these endeavors. Fwiw these couples are still together.

No, no, no. It's not about career or earnings. Those women are bringing things to the table that have value, and they are pretty normal adults who do things like drive cars and leave the house by themselves without it being a thing. OP's niece is bringing... Agoraphobia and passivity.

Pp. Huh? You don’t know them. I do.