When sorority rush goes wrong

[Anonymous]

I remember seeing a tiktok from a rush consultant talking about the things she was discussing with her clients at Michigan. I thought there was no way people were using consultants for rush at UM. It's not BamaRush.

[Anonymous]

If u girl gets invited to 2 houses for pref night, but only likes one house, can she rank only 1 house to avoid getting a big from the house she dislikes? TIA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If u girl gets invited to 2 houses for pref night, but only likes one house, can she rank only 1 house to avoid getting a big from the house she dislikes? TIA.

Yes it is called a suicide bid. She will have to accept the higher change of not getting a bid at all.

[Anonymous]

How is Michigan rush going?

Wake? Vanderbilt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If u girl gets invited to 2 houses for pref night, but only likes one house, can she rank only 1 house to avoid getting a big from the house she dislikes? TIA.

Yes it is called a suicide bid. She will have to accept the higher change of not getting a bid at all.

Worth it if you know you don't want the second house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If u girl gets invited to 2 houses for pref night, but only likes one house, can she rank only 1 house to avoid getting a big from the house she dislikes? TIA.

Yes it is called a suicide bid. She will have to accept the higher change of not getting a bid at all.

Does she have the no COB/snap bid/ Fall Rush penalty if she does a suicide bid after pref?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If u girl gets invited to 2 houses for pref night, but only likes one house, can she rank only 1 house to avoid getting a big from the house she dislikes? TIA.

Yes it is called a suicide bid. She will have to accept the higher change of not getting a bid at all.

Does she have the no COB/snap bid/ Fall Rush penalty if she does a suicide bid after pref?

Do you have a daughter at UM? I think this is all covered in their panhel site.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is a junior and has been on the sister side of rush twice. Top/mid. Believe me, there have been girls her sorority wanted and did not get; it works both ways. Curiously the house can want the pnm and the pmn can want the house but still not pair, because the girls are on a long ranked list and if a girl is ranked higher by another house…welp. And the larger sororities there don’t do COB. Nevertheless my daughter loves the Greek experience. She has friends in lots of other houses and lives with girls from 3-4 different sororities. Also, several of the very popular houses have been put on probation for drinking so they cannot have any social events. So maybe the tiptop isn’t all that great after all, sometimes. This stinks for a new member to join a group and find out there will be no date parties. Despite all that, my daughter enjoys being Greek; she kept all her old friends just fine and it has really expanded her connections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is a junior and has been on the sister side of rush twice. Top/mid. Believe me, there have been girls her sorority wanted and did not get; it works both ways. Curiously the house can want the pnm and the pmn can want the house but still not pair, because the girls are on a long ranked list and if a girl is ranked higher by another house…welp. And the larger sororities there don’t do COB. Nevertheless my daughter loves the Greek experience. She has friends in lots of other houses and lives with girls from 3-4 different sororities. Also, several of the very popular houses have been put on probation for drinking so they cannot have any social events. So maybe the tiptop isn’t all that great after all, sometimes. This stinks for a new member to join a group and find out there will be no date parties. Despite all that, my daughter enjoys being Greek; she kept all her old friends just fine and it has really expanded her connections.

So what’s your advice if your daughter has two pref night options.

She likes both - but likes #2 more than #1. She is worried she’s too high on #1 list (high school and family connections).
But doesn’t want to be left with nothing - but would prefer to go with #2?

Suicide or no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP
Michigan. She was already struggling with the size of the school and had been holding out hope that this would help her with community.

Only 18% of Michigan undergrads are in fraternities/sororities. I truly don't understand why she thinks this is the only way she can find community. What else has she done?

For a huge school like M and super small, like W&L, you need to find your "people" and be "sorted." NYC privates, midwestern UMC, or southern private etc. Unfortunately at these places this is the game and if you aren't in the stereotypical house for your type, it can feel very tough. If you are middle class no connections at EITHER of these type of schools, life can be hard...and you can't go in blind, like it seems this op may have.It is what it is unfortunately, starts before college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP
Michigan. She was already struggling with the size of the school and had been holding out hope that this would help her with community.

Only 18% of Michigan undergrads are in fraternities/sororities. I truly don't understand why she thinks this is the only way she can find community. What else has she done?

For a huge school like M and super small, like W&L, you need to find your "people" and be "sorted." NYC privates, midwestern UMC, or southern private etc. Unfortunately at these places this is the game and if you aren't in the stereotypical house for your type, it can feel very tough. If you are middle class no connections at EITHER of these type of schools, life can be hard...and you can't go in blind, like it seems this op may have.It is what it is unfortunately, starts before college.

This is true, and, I hate to say it, the sorting lasts your whole like in country clubs, private schools etc. IF you go to one of these heavy greek schools, and you tell someone at the club that you went to said school, they will ask "oh, were you a ZTA?" and you say "no, I was a [insert low tier sorority]" they will smile and move on. I hate it, but at that $$$ level, people can be ruthless. This is if you're white, if you're Asian, no one expects you to be greek, which makes it easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If u girl gets invited to 2 houses for pref night, but only likes one house, can she rank only 1 house to avoid getting a big from the house she dislikes? TIA.

Yes it is called a suicide bid. She will have to accept the higher change of not getting a bid at all.

Does she have the no COB/snap bid/ Fall Rush penalty if she does a suicide bid after pref?

No. If she does intentional single preference and doesn’t receive a bid, she is eligible for other pathways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP
Michigan. She was already struggling with the size of the school and had been holding out hope that this would help her with community.

Only 18% of Michigan undergrads are in fraternities/sororities. I truly don't understand why she thinks this is the only way she can find community. What else has she done?

For a huge school like M and super small, like W&L, you need to find your "people" and be "sorted." NYC privates, midwestern UMC, or southern private etc. Unfortunately at these places this is the game and if you aren't in the stereotypical house for your type, it can feel very tough. If you are middle class no connections at EITHER of these type of schools, life can be hard...and you can't go in blind, like it seems this op may have.It is what it is unfortunately, starts before college.

This is true, and, I hate to say it, the sorting lasts your whole like in country clubs, private schools etc. IF you go to one of these heavy greek schools, and you tell someone at the club that you went to said school, they will ask "oh, were you a ZTA?" and you say "no, I was a [insert low tier sorority]" they will smile and move on. I hate it, but at that $$$ level, people can be ruthless. This is if you're white, if you're Asian, no one expects you to be greek, which makes it easier.

I have seen that with UVA grads around here. I don’t count UM a heavy Greek school.

[Anonymous]

Is rush this hard at Michigan for OOS boys?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is a junior and has been on the sister side of rush twice. Top/mid. Believe me, there have been girls her sorority wanted and did not get; it works both ways. Curiously the house can want the pnm and the pmn can want the house but still not pair, because the girls are on a long ranked list and if a girl is ranked higher by another house…welp. And the larger sororities there don’t do COB. Nevertheless my daughter loves the Greek experience. She has friends in lots of other houses and lives with girls from 3-4 different sororities. Also, several of the very popular houses have been put on probation for drinking so they cannot have any social events. So maybe the tiptop isn’t all that great after all, sometimes. This stinks for a new member to join a group and find out there will be no date parties. Despite all that, my daughter enjoys being Greek; she kept all her old friends just fine and it has really expanded her connections.

So what’s your advice if your daughter has two pref night options.

She likes both - but likes #2 more than #1. She is worried she’s too high on #1 list (high school and family connections).
But doesn’t want to be left with nothing - but would prefer to go with #2?

Suicide or no?

She should list both if she likes both. She has no idea what her rankings are and sounds like she would rather have something than nothing.