Recurring characters of DCUM, as written by a DCUM veteran

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who can forget the old guy in Local Politics, who really, really means it when he adds the stinging insult:

“. . . , dumb dumb!”

People who refer to posters who annoy them as men, without actually having any clue whether the poster is a man or woman. It's very telling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The poster who trained her son to poop first thing in the morning and always dressed him in clean clothes with undershirts.

Ah, must be an immigrant like me. I trained my kids to poop first thing in the morning too. For many people, it is normal and healthy habit. I was shocked to see grown women going to poop after lunch in the office bathroom, because they poop at any odd time. OMG!

I have always dressed my kids in clean clothes but was not a big fan of undershirts so that has never happened.

Oh, I remember you. You've posted about this before.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The (I presume) guys who engage in pointless fundamentalist Christian vs. atheist debates in the religion forum. I imagine them chortling, "Ha HA! What about THIS!" as they consult their book of logical fallacies and throw around Latin terms they don't understand, all to go around in pointless circles. They should just accept that they are yin to the other's yang.

No way. If someone doesn’t check those nutters then they’ll have us all living in the Christian version of Afghanistan in a generation.

The poster who thinks the fate of the nation depends on their anonymous banter on DCUM.

Russia isn’t deploying massive social media disinformation campaigns for nothing.

As absurd as it sounds, there is literally a Russian troll (as in, paid by the Kremlin), who will respond in Politics if you say anything positive about Ukraine.

We have dubbed him:

Comrade Trollski

(Not my creativity in coining the name for him; credit goes to some other clever poster on DCUMAD)

People who insist there are "Russian trolls" on this site, even though Jeff has been very clear about the fact that there are not. These people dub anyone they disagree with, "Russian trolls."

Oh, but not even Jeff can tell, when the poster uses a proxy site or an anonymizer site to conceal their tracks.

Comrade Trollski is a phenomenon unto himself.

If you ever write “we” in a thread he’s in, he loves to reply:

“Who is we? Do you have a mouse in your pocket ??”

He thinks it is so clever!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anybody mentioned the pair of atheists who hate it when anybody talks about Christianity, and really, really hate it when somebody talks about Catholicism? They plus one each others' unoriginal insults, it's almost tragic.

I see the poster who thinks that religion isn’t allowed to be criticized

Yup. The atheist hater who is OBSESSED with atheism. Tries to stir the pot and then storms away when presented with facts/logic.

LOL. Tweedledee posted and it was only a matter of time before Tweedledum showed up. You guys must spend 24/7 on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Poster in the Entertainment forum who takes shows waaaaaaaaaay too seriously and writes incredibly long, self-important analyses of each episode.

I love this poster or posters. Reading or listening in depth analysis of TV shows I enjoy is a longtime hobby of mine. I used to love the Television Without Pity recaps (some of them were like 25 pages long for ONE episode) and the Tom & Lorenzo "Mad Style" recaps of Mad Men episodes as interpreted through the costuming and set design. Seriously one of my top 10 favorite things about the internet.

Me tooo - I also frequent the reddits for the shows I am into (hi Ted Lasso & Yellowjackets).

That said, there was that person in the (RIP) White Lotus thread who wrote out these very long posts in which she ascribed very off-book backstories to characters, that she seemed convinced were true. She was convinced that Daphne came from money and owned some rental properties, and that's why we had to understand that she wasn't staying with Cam in any way because doing so afforded her a nice lifestyle.

That person should really take up fan fiction.

+1 to both of you and I wish I could have these conversations in real life. I also loved TWOP, Fametracker, etc. I have been known to write a bit on the threads of shows I like, but I was not the White Lotus fanfic writer. But that kid was definitely the trainer's!!

I'm thinking of the poster in the Succession thread who wrote paragraphs about how only simple-minded people root for anti-heroes like Walter White or Tony Soprano. It was just bizarre, but she clearly was far more intelligent than any mortal human, so I guess we were all supposed to just shut up and take note.

I know her too. Somebody (not me) already mentioned Sanctimonious Twit above.

[Anonymous]

The poster who asks you to ... and be specific.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anybody mentioned the pair of atheists who hate it when anybody talks about Christianity, and really, really hate it when somebody talks about Catholicism? They plus one each others' unoriginal insults, it's almost tragic.

I see the poster who thinks that religion isn’t allowed to be criticized

Yup. The atheist hater who is OBSESSED with atheism. Tries to stir the pot and then storms away when presented with facts/logic.

LOL. Tweedledee posted and it was only a matter of time before Tweedledum showed up. You guys must spend 24/7 on DCUM.

Awww. I remember when I used to call you that. Always projecting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is someone that bashes certain colleges, which are obviously colleges they and their children were not admitted to - how obvious can you be.

Oh, most definitely. It just makes that poster look horrible, not the colleges.

+1

Imagine knowing such a horrid person IRL?

[Anonymous]

The person who is so happy when beautiful young (celebrity) couples get married and immediately have babies or might immediately have babies because they make such a beautiful family.

The person who hates “strivers.”

[Anonymous]

Do real people count? I might be misunderstanding the point of this but here goes anyway: Cape Cod Shark Lady. Absolutely bonkers and convinced that everyone posting goes to the OBX.

[Anonymous]

The poster who keeps trying to make "Sanctimonious Twit" happen. It's not even a clever nickname!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The poster who keeps trying to make "Sanctimonious Twit" happen. It's not even a clever nickname!

Awww, sorry! I didn't invent it, and I wasn't the first to bring it up on this thread. But it's so appropriate. Also, the thing is, it's not a nickname, it's a turn of phrase.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is someone that bashes certain colleges, which are obviously colleges they and their children were not admitted to - how obvious can you be.

I think everyone on “Colleges and Universities” bashes on the schools they or their kids didn’t get into.

[Anonymous]

Oh I just remembered one. The crusty old dude dating a south Asian grad student who just turned 30. He’s totally fascinated by his ability to date a younger woman so he talks about it constantly even though, ironically, she asked him to stop talking about it and making it weird for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Suburban/exurban ppl insisting their town is is more walkable and lively than Logan Circle.

This drives me nuts. They will argue to the death on it too.

Related: I hate the posters who assume everyone on this website lives in the suburbs. They tend to also be the ones who are just frantic about the idea of exposing their kids to the horror-show that is constantly dodging bullets in the city in a neighborhood like mine (Dupont Circle). "I don't know if we can go there. I'm a responsible parent and I love my kids. I gave them life, I will not serve them up on a platter for death! We can walk to everything we need in Herndon, anyway!"