Recurring characters of DCUM, as written by a DCUM veteran

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anybody mentioned the pair of atheists who hate it when anybody talks about Christianity, and really, really hate it when somebody talks about Catholicism? They plus one each others' unoriginal insults, it's almost tragic.

I see the poster who thinks that religion isn’t allowed to be criticized

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anybody mentioned the pair of atheists who hate it when anybody talks about Christianity, and really, really hate it when somebody talks about Catholicism? They plus one each others' unoriginal insults, it's almost tragic.

I see the poster who thinks that religion isn’t allowed to be criticized

Yup. The atheist hater who is OBSESSED with atheism. Tries to stir the pot and then storms away when presented with facts/logic.

[Anonymous]

The poster who always starts “Isn’t Bella Hadid the most beautiful” threads in the entertainment forum.

[Anonymous]

The one who wails on NPS in every post that mentions it.

[Anonymous]

Wonder how Bobcat Girl is doing. And her bobkittens!

[Anonymous]

-Flip Driscoll

-Spirit Reader

-Eye Candy poster (where are you??? Come back!!)

-the lady who used to keep a spreadsheet of Kate Middleton’s events

-super cheap landlord guy. He has a foreign accent and resents people who work from home

-I obviously spend WAY TOO MUCH time on this site and am disappointed I’ve not been mentioned

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The Norma Kamali poster in Beauty & Fashion. I love her. Someone will post a thread titled "I need something conservative and understated to wear to my DIL's baby shower" and NK poster will suggest a lime green lycra jumpsuit with fur trim and cutouts. At first it was mildly annoying but she's stuck with it and now I look forward to her posts.

The Langley Elementary booster who posts poetic odes to her favorite school.

RIP the DC school lottery Swami, who got chased away by people who were offended by her use of the term "swami." This is why we can't have nice things.

More than one person, but the person/people who will respond to even the mildest criticism of a husband in the Relationship forum with "Divorce him." I don't think it's good advice, but it's reliability is a DCUM staple.

Similarly, the people who will respond to any thread about dead bedrooms, keeping sex alive in a marriage, or sex post 40 or 45 by explaining how they do it like 2-3x a day, in their 60s, no problem. I don't believe them, but their insistence is funny to me.

2-3 time a week is what raises eyebrows on dcum and I think that is normal for healthy couples even in their 60s. I am actually amazed that people stop having sex in their 30s on DCUM. I am not talking about during pregnancy, postpartum. deployment, accident or being ill. Perfectly healthy married people are not having sex. How is it even possible? Isn't easily accessible sex the best part of marriage ?

DP. Try wrapping your head around this fact: People Are Different. I have faith in you. Give it a shot.

No need to do that. I already figured it out - they are sleeping with someone else, just not their own spouse.

Try again. You can do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m hurt that nobody mentioned me. I’m the poster who writes long winded posts about whatever topic I’m weighing in on. This is because I’m smarter than 95% of you and want to offer you the opportunity to be enlightened. 😉

Sanctimonious Twit... is it really you??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The poster(s) who try to turn every thread into "it's because of racism, right?"

+ a million

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Citation demanding poster

We are legion. Don’t make stuff up.

Thank you. How hard is it to just provide a damn link when making a claim?

[Anonymous]

When I first came to this site, there were lots of posts about the GW Midwives, but that seems to have largely died down

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Citation demanding poster

We are legion. Don’t make stuff up.

Thank you. How hard is it to just provide a damn link when making a claim?

Very hard when you live in an alternate reality with alternative facts.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Poster in the Entertainment forum who takes shows waaaaaaaaaay too seriously and writes incredibly long, self-important analyses of each episode.

I love this poster or posters. Reading or listening in depth analysis of TV shows I enjoy is a longtime hobby of mine. I used to love the Television Without Pity recaps (some of them were like 25 pages long for ONE episode) and the Tom & Lorenzo "Mad Style" recaps of Mad Men episodes as interpreted through the costuming and set design. Seriously one of my top 10 favorite things about the internet.

Me tooo - I also frequent the reddits for the shows I am into (hi Ted Lasso & Yellowjackets).

That said, there was that person in the (RIP) White Lotus thread who wrote out these very long posts in which she ascribed very off-book backstories to characters, that she seemed convinced were true. She was convinced that Daphne came from money and owned some rental properties, and that's why we had to understand that she wasn't staying with Cam in any way because doing so afforded her a nice lifestyle.

That person should really take up fan fiction.

+1 to both of you and I wish I could have these conversations in real life. I also loved TWOP, Fametracker, etc. I have been known to write a bit on the threads of shows I like, but I was not the White Lotus fanfic writer. But that kid was definitely the trainer's!!

I'm thinking of the poster in the Succession thread who wrote paragraphs about how only simple-minded people root for anti-heroes like Walter White or Tony Soprano. It was just bizarre, but she clearly was far more intelligent than any mortal human, so I guess we were all supposed to just shut up and take note.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is someone that bashes certain colleges, which are obviously colleges they and their children were not admitted to - how obvious can you be.

Oh, most definitely. It just makes that poster look horrible, not the colleges.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The (I presume) guys who engage in pointless fundamentalist Christian vs. atheist debates in the religion forum. I imagine them chortling, "Ha HA! What about THIS!" as they consult their book of logical fallacies and throw around Latin terms they don't understand, all to go around in pointless circles. They should just accept that they are yin to the other's yang.

No way. If someone doesn’t check those nutters then they’ll have us all living in the Christian version of Afghanistan in a generation.

The poster who thinks the fate of the nation depends on their anonymous banter on DCUM.

Russia isn’t deploying massive social media disinformation campaigns for nothing.

As absurd as it sounds, there is literally a Russian troll (as in, paid by the Kremlin), who will respond in Politics if you say anything positive about Ukraine.

We have dubbed him:

Comrade Trollski

(Not my creativity in coining the name for him; credit goes to some other clever poster on DCUMAD)

People who insist there are "Russian trolls" on this site, even though Jeff has been very clear about the fact that there are not. These people dub anyone they disagree with, "Russian trolls."