My friend moved without telling me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We dealt with something like this recently, except it was the opposite situation: we were scheduled to move for an amazing job opportunity overseas, told everyone & started preparing, and then the job opportunity was canceled about 4 weeks before our scheduled move. It was so demoralizing. At first, we didn’t even really tell anyone except family. And then word started trickling out and then I had to repeat the same story 100x over the next 4 months.

It really sucked, but it actually worked out for the best for our family. Sigh.

Give her space. She’s probably going thru something traumatic.

Oh not. Maybe just maybe she just does not consider OP a friend. And is actually a bit weirded out by OP. But OP and people like OP create these crazy scenarios in their head to protect their ego and rationalize the continued prodding of someone who doesn’t want to speak with them. Like a creepy guy who tells himself she’s just playing hard to get as he continues texting and calling over and over.

But OP isn’t some dude that she dated a few times and is now stalking her. She is also a woman, and a mom, and they hung out frequently and their kids were friends. It’s not being a stalker to be like “my daughter said you moved! We miss you guys- that seemed sudden!” and SUPER WEIRD of her friend to just respond “lol”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We dealt with something like this recently, except it was the opposite situation: we were scheduled to move for an amazing job opportunity overseas, told everyone & started preparing, and then the job opportunity was canceled about 4 weeks before our scheduled move. It was so demoralizing. At first, we didn’t even really tell anyone except family. And then word started trickling out and then I had to repeat the same story 100x over the next 4 months.

It really sucked, but it actually worked out for the best for our family. Sigh.

Give her space. She’s probably going thru something traumatic.

Oh not. Maybe just maybe she just does not consider OP a friend. And is actually a bit weirded out by OP. But OP and people like OP create these crazy scenarios in their head to protect their ego and rationalize the continued prodding of someone who doesn’t want to speak with them. Like a creepy guy who tells himself she’s just playing hard to get as he continues texting and calling over and over.

But OP isn’t some dude that she dated a few times and is now stalking her. She is also a woman, and a mom, and they hung out frequently and their kids were friends. It’s not being a stalker to be like “my daughter said you moved! We miss you guys- that seemed sudden!” and SUPER WEIRD of her friend to just respond “lol”.

Right. I actually assume this is a troll at this point, because when OP came back and said she also wouldn’t ask mutual friends… Nope, not believable. If this happened in my group of friends, everyone would be initiating the WTF convo simultaneously. On the tiny chance this isn’t a troll, take one step to confirm your friend isn’t dead in a gutter somewhere. This kind of story is on the news all the time and the reaction is always WTF were her friends thinking? Everyone just believed she randomly moved to Wisconsin and responded lol when they asked? Those friends suck. Never ever is someone’s reply: “Oh, it’s totally understandable that everyone assumed she moved to Wisconsin because an elementary school teacher said so and of course no one tried to call or text more than once. Yup, totally normal.” Like which part of this story would be different if OP’s friend’s DH killed her and the kids and fled the state?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We dealt with something like this recently, except it was the opposite situation: we were scheduled to move for an amazing job opportunity overseas, told everyone & started preparing, and then the job opportunity was canceled about 4 weeks before our scheduled move. It was so demoralizing. At first, we didn’t even really tell anyone except family. And then word started trickling out and then I had to repeat the same story 100x over the next 4 months.

It really sucked, but it actually worked out for the best for our family. Sigh.

Give her space. She’s probably going thru something traumatic.

Oh not. Maybe just maybe she just does not consider OP a friend. And is actually a bit weirded out by OP. But OP and people like OP create these crazy scenarios in their head to protect their ego and rationalize the continued prodding of someone who doesn’t want to speak with them. Like a creepy guy who tells himself she’s just playing hard to get as he continues texting and calling over and over.

But OP isn’t some dude that she dated a few times and is now stalking her. She is also a woman, and a mom, and they hung out frequently and their kids were friends. It’s not being a stalker to be like “my daughter said you moved! We miss you guys- that seemed sudden!” and SUPER WEIRD of her friend to just respond “lol”.

It’s not super weird — it’s making it crystal clear she does not value OP’s “friendship” and OP needs to take a freaking hint. It is literally no different than a creeper guy texting over and over. Stop and back off. Asking for the new address is so creepy. You are NOT her friend. Leave her alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We dealt with something like this recently, except it was the opposite situation: we were scheduled to move for an amazing job opportunity overseas, told everyone & started preparing, and then the job opportunity was canceled about 4 weeks before our scheduled move. It was so demoralizing. At first, we didn’t even really tell anyone except family. And then word started trickling out and then I had to repeat the same story 100x over the next 4 months.

It really sucked, but it actually worked out for the best for our family. Sigh.

Give her space. She’s probably going thru something traumatic.

Oh not. Maybe just maybe she just does not consider OP a friend. And is actually a bit weirded out by OP. But OP and people like OP create these crazy scenarios in their head to protect their ego and rationalize the continued prodding of someone who doesn’t want to speak with them. Like a creepy guy who tells himself she’s just playing hard to get as he continues texting and calling over and over.

But OP isn’t some dude that she dated a few times and is now stalking her. She is also a woman, and a mom, and they hung out frequently and their kids were friends. It’s not being a stalker to be like “my daughter said you moved! We miss you guys- that seemed sudden!” and SUPER WEIRD of her friend to just respond “lol”.

It’s not super weird — it’s making it crystal clear she does not value OP’s “friendship” and OP needs to take a freaking hint. It is literally no different than a creeper guy texting over and over. Stop and back off. Asking for the new address is so creepy. You are NOT her friend. Leave her alone.

DP - did you read the OP’s history with this woman? Whatever’s going on, it’s the woman who moved who is acting strange, not the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We dealt with something like this recently, except it was the opposite situation: we were scheduled to move for an amazing job opportunity overseas, told everyone & started preparing, and then the job opportunity was canceled about 4 weeks before our scheduled move. It was so demoralizing. At first, we didn’t even really tell anyone except family. And then word started trickling out and then I had to repeat the same story 100x over the next 4 months.

It really sucked, but it actually worked out for the best for our family. Sigh.

Give her space. She’s probably going thru something traumatic.

Oh not. Maybe just maybe she just does not consider OP a friend. And is actually a bit weirded out by OP. But OP and people like OP create these crazy scenarios in their head to protect their ego and rationalize the continued prodding of someone who doesn’t want to speak with them. Like a creepy guy who tells himself she’s just playing hard to get as he continues texting and calling over and over.

But OP isn’t some dude that she dated a few times and is now stalking her. She is also a woman, and a mom, and they hung out frequently and their kids were friends. It’s not being a stalker to be like “my daughter said you moved! We miss you guys- that seemed sudden!” and SUPER WEIRD of her friend to just respond “lol”.

It’s not super weird — it’s making it crystal clear she does not value OP’s “friendship” and OP needs to take a freaking hint. It is literally no different than a creeper guy texting over and over. Stop and back off. Asking for the new address is so creepy. You are NOT her friend. Leave her alone.

DP - did you read the OP’s history with this woman? Whatever’s going on, it’s the woman who moved who is acting strange, not the OP.

“Dude, you should have seen the way she looked at me on our two dates. She wants me. Trust me. Just playing hard to get.”

You nutters need to take a hint. And OP is obviously from a biased POV. Of course OP would never admit this isn’t a real friendship and it’s totally one-sided. Ego and no self awareness, so also creepy men quote above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We dealt with something like this recently, except it was the opposite situation: we were scheduled to move for an amazing job opportunity overseas, told everyone & started preparing, and then the job opportunity was canceled about 4 weeks before our scheduled move. It was so demoralizing. At first, we didn’t even really tell anyone except family. And then word started trickling out and then I had to repeat the same story 100x over the next 4 months.

It really sucked, but it actually worked out for the best for our family. Sigh.

Give her space. She’s probably going thru something traumatic.

Oh not. Maybe just maybe she just does not consider OP a friend. And is actually a bit weirded out by OP. But OP and people like OP create these crazy scenarios in their head to protect their ego and rationalize the continued prodding of someone who doesn’t want to speak with them. Like a creepy guy who tells himself she’s just playing hard to get as he continues texting and calling over and over.

But OP isn’t some dude that she dated a few times and is now stalking her. She is also a woman, and a mom, and they hung out frequently and their kids were friends. It’s not being a stalker to be like “my daughter said you moved! We miss you guys- that seemed sudden!” and SUPER WEIRD of her friend to just respond “lol”.

It’s not super weird — it’s making it crystal clear she does not value OP’s “friendship” and OP needs to take a freaking hint. It is literally no different than a creeper guy texting over and over. Stop and back off. Asking for the new address is so creepy. You are NOT her friend. Leave her alone.

DP - did you read the OP’s history with this woman? Whatever’s going on, it’s the woman who moved who is acting strange, not the OP.

“Dude, you should have seen the way she looked at me on our two dates. She wants me. Trust me. Just playing hard to get.”

You nutters need to take a hint. And OP is obviously from a biased POV. Of course OP would never admit this isn’t a real friendship and it’s totally one-sided. Ego and no self awareness, so also creepy men quote above.

Stop trolling. If OP isn’t herself a troll, she was friends with mom, husband was friends with dad, and kid was friends with kid. Even if OP was over involved stalker friend… kid never mentioned she was moving to Wisconsin? Something very weird happened and I think OP should be less concerned about being friend dumped and more concerned with making sure it’s not worse than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We dealt with something like this recently, except it was the opposite situation: we were scheduled to move for an amazing job opportunity overseas, told everyone & started preparing, and then the job opportunity was canceled about 4 weeks before our scheduled move. It was so demoralizing. At first, we didn’t even really tell anyone except family. And then word started trickling out and then I had to repeat the same story 100x over the next 4 months.

It really sucked, but it actually worked out for the best for our family. Sigh.

Give her space. She’s probably going thru something traumatic.

Oh not. Maybe just maybe she just does not consider OP a friend. And is actually a bit weirded out by OP. But OP and people like OP create these crazy scenarios in their head to protect their ego and rationalize the continued prodding of someone who doesn’t want to speak with them. Like a creepy guy who tells himself she’s just playing hard to get as he continues texting and calling over and over.

But OP isn’t some dude that she dated a few times and is now stalking her. She is also a woman, and a mom, and they hung out frequently and their kids were friends. It’s not being a stalker to be like “my daughter said you moved! We miss you guys- that seemed sudden!” and SUPER WEIRD of her friend to just respond “lol”.

It’s not super weird — it’s making it crystal clear she does not value OP’s “friendship” and OP needs to take a freaking hint. It is literally no different than a creeper guy texting over and over. Stop and back off. Asking for the new address is so creepy. You are NOT her friend. Leave her alone.

NP. Whoa, it is your reaction that’s super weird, PP. Attributing creepiness to OP’s totally normal concern? That’s a bit creepy in itself, yikes.

[Anonymous]

A friend of mine moved to Wisconsin last year with her oldest son and youngest daughter because her son was getting mixed up with a rough crowd and they didn’t want him to continue down that path. Their kids are biracial and they were worried about their teenage son being profiled especially if he was caught up with kids doing illicit things.
So they moved back to her parents in rural Wisconsin where her kids are the only non-white kids there because they thought that would be better but it presented a ton of challenges I’m not sure they anticipated. Other kid and dad stayed because dad had to for work and other kid didn’t want to move.
I think a year and a half in the kids are somewhat adjusted but I could see my friend not telling some people who she wasn’t really close with because it is a pretty personal story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine moved to Wisconsin last year with her oldest son and youngest daughter because her son was getting mixed up with a rough crowd and they didn’t want him to continue down that path. Their kids are biracial and they were worried about their teenage son being profiled especially if he was caught up with kids doing illicit things.
So they moved back to her parents in rural Wisconsin where her kids are the only non-white kids there because they thought that would be better but it presented a ton of challenges I’m not sure they anticipated. Other kid and dad stayed because dad had to for work and other kid didn’t want to move.
I think a year and a half in the kids are somewhat adjusted but I could see my friend not telling some people who she wasn’t really close with because it is a pretty personal story.

...that is now posted on the Internet.

Op, I hope you are able to let your friend know you care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine moved to Wisconsin last year with her oldest son and youngest daughter because her son was getting mixed up with a rough crowd and they didn’t want him to continue down that path. Their kids are biracial and they were worried about their teenage son being profiled especially if he was caught up with kids doing illicit things.
So they moved back to her parents in rural Wisconsin where her kids are the only non-white kids there because they thought that would be better but it presented a ton of challenges I’m not sure they anticipated. Other kid and dad stayed because dad had to for work and other kid didn’t want to move.
I think a year and a half in the kids are somewhat adjusted but I could see my friend not telling some people who she wasn’t really close with because it is a pretty personal story.

...that is now posted on the Internet.

Op, I hope you are able to let your friend know you care.

Obviously I changed a bunch of details and highly doubt anyone would ID from this post. The paranoia is insane here.

[Anonymous]

Similar happened to me with a close friend. We hung out all of the time, with and without our kids. She told me but it was 1 week before the cross country move. I gossiped a lot with DH and we looked up the new house, which didn’t match their story at all. We decided he had an affair and she made him buy a house across the country to leave and didn’t tell anyone until last min because it was all too painful. It was easier to say it was a last minute job.

I have no idea if our story was true and I never pressed it. We kept in contact a little by text for a few years then drifted. Life is busy with young kids and it’s hard enough to stay in contact when you are local.

Text her, say you heard she moved, wish her well. Or don’t and let it be.

[Anonymous]

^adding. Wow just read your update and her reply. Leave it alone. I bet she moved without him. If google online but not follow up with her again.

[Anonymous]

I think it's important that we all remember that we are not the main character in other people's lives.

We did something similar once. We were considering moving across the country, pending DH getting a job offer in the desired city. In the meantime, we didn't tell anyone we were considering the move because there was nothing to tell. He did get an offer, and within 2 weeks we were packed up and gone. We told plenty of people, but not absolutely everyone we knew.

IMO OP's text put the friend on the defensive. Rather than seeking information, it definitely held a hint of accusation. "I'm SUCH a good friend, I even want to send you a housewarming gift, and you couldn't even be arsed to tell me you moved!" I can completely understand just not having the emotional energy to deal with the disappointment. If OP had just texted something honest like, "Hey, I just hear you moved to Wisconsin, is that true? I can't believe you never mentioned anything!" she'd have likely gotten a warmed, more honest response in return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's important that we all remember that we are not the main character in other people's lives.

We did something similar once. We were considering moving across the country, pending DH getting a job offer in the desired city. In the meantime, we didn't tell anyone we were considering the move because there was nothing to tell. He did get an offer, and within 2 weeks we were packed up and gone. We told plenty of people, but not absolutely everyone we knew.

IMO OP's text put the friend on the defensive. Rather than seeking information, it definitely held a hint of accusation. "I'm SUCH a good friend, I even want to send you a housewarming gift, and you couldn't even be arsed to tell me you moved!" I can completely understand just not having the emotional energy to deal with the disappointment. If OP had just texted something honest like, "Hey, I just hear you moved to Wisconsin, is that true? I can't believe you never mentioned anything!" she'd have likely gotten a warmed, more honest response in return.

IMO that last line is still guilt trip-y about why the OP wasn’t told. But less passive aggressive than asking for an address to send a gift for sure…

[Anonymous]

OP please follow up with her and let us know