My friend moved without telling me

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[Post New]04/11/2023 23:14
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Anonymous
I wouldn't drop it. "Wow, I had no idea! Is everything ok? What's your plan out there?"
[Post New]04/11/2023 23:17
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Anonymous
This is AMAZING. Between this and the vacation/nanny thread I'm really evaluating all my friendships.

It must have been for reasons with very negative or embarrasing connotations. Even the most casual of mom-friend acquaintances would have to go far out of their way to not mention a move like this. It's perfect for small-talk chatter. And you guys were clearly much closer than that.

I wouldn't let it drop, but maybe give it a week or so before checking back in,
[Post New]04/11/2023 23:19
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Anonymous
Any mutual friends you can get the tea from? I would be dying to know the whole story. And of course want to hear now when you hear!
[Post New]04/11/2023 23:19
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Op how often did you go to her house here? Wondering if you all always met outside your homes if she may have you at acquaintance while you have her as a close friend.


About once a month. We were definitely friends. We lended each other small kitchen appliances, and scarves, and our husbands swapped tools. Our kids had sleepovers. We'd have dinner at each other's homes. We were in the same Covid bubble! This is honestly the most bizarre social thing I've ever encountered.
[Post New]04/11/2023 23:25
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Anonymous
It's wild and I would be surprised and hurt too. I also envy her being so tight lipped and bold faced to meet up without mentioning it. She probably hates goodbyes and felt stressed by the reasons for the move. Not talking about it was likely a protective action.
[Post New]04/12/2023 02:33
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Anonymous
Did her DH move too? I'm wondering if there was a problem in the marriage (for example, she found out he was cheating, or she was in an abusive relationship and decided to get out and go back to her mother's house)

My own mother did something like this when I was 8 years old. Her father died (my grandfather) and she packed up my brother and I and went to the funeral (2,000 miles away). We stayed in my grandma's basement. And then...we didn't go home, we just kept staying, through summer and then started school there in the fall.

In that situation, there was no abuse but it was not a happy marriage, and my grandfather's death created a situation where she could exit quietly and then decide what to do.
[Post New]04/12/2023 06:00
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP back with an update. Our girls are in 5th grade, so I'm confident DD got things straight. DH was surprised too. I hung out with my friend (one on one) a week and a half ago. She mentioned nothing. We talked about trying to firm up summer plans and vacations and such. We talked about the books we're reading, Love is Blind, all normal things.

In general, DH and I like to assume the best of people, so that's how I approached it. "Hey, DD told me today you guys moved to Wisconsin? Did she get that right? If so, please send me your new address so we can send you a housewarming gift! Also, so sorry we didn't get a chance to say goodbye in person. Hope the move wasn't too crazy!" She texted back over an hour later "Yeah lol" So ... I guess drop it?


JFC, this is really crazy!
[Post New]04/12/2023 06:05
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Foreclosure or eviction. Whatever it is, she's not your friend.

I think it’s this, or something else else embarrassing.
[Post New]04/12/2023 06:23
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Op how often did you go to her house here? Wondering if you all always met outside your homes if she may have you at acquaintance while you have her as a close friend.


This is not always the case. I live in a small and cramped apartment with kids and a pet. Spouse feels very anxious and self consciuos about inviting at our home friends that are childless or are living in fancy/big/tidy homes
[Post New]04/12/2023 06:24
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Anonymous
Someone moved without complaining about moving?! WTF?! Mind blown!
[Post New]04/12/2023 07:12
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't drop it. "Wow, I had no idea! Is everything ok? What's your plan out there?"


Why? To what end? For what purpose? If this woman had wanted to tell OP anything about how she is or what her plan is, she would have told her.
[Post New]04/12/2023 07:15
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Anonymous
The "Yeah lol" response is so crazy.
[Post New]04/12/2023 07:18
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP back with an update. Our girls are in 5th grade, so I'm confident DD got things straight. DH was surprised too. I hung out with my friend (one on one) a week and a half ago. She mentioned nothing. We talked about trying to firm up summer plans and vacations and such. We talked about the books we're reading, Love is Blind, all normal things.

In general, DH and I like to assume the best of people, so that's how I approached it. "Hey, DD told me today you guys moved to Wisconsin? Did she get that right? If so, please send me your new address so we can send you a housewarming gift! Also, so sorry we didn't get a chance to say goodbye in person. Hope the move wasn't too crazy!" She texted back over an hour later "Yeah lol" So ... I guess drop it?


Yeah lol?? I’d say start the slow fade, but it appears she’s already done that. I’d consider this “friendship” over.
[Post New]04/12/2023 07:21
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Anonymous
Wow! Obviously there's more to this story. Are they in witness protection? (Kidding . . . sort of.)

Our theories definitely depend on whether the husband moved too. Do you know?
[Post New]04/12/2023 07:33
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Anonymous
Look back at your texts and meet-ups. It’s likely you were always initiating and you weren’t great friends.
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