So tired of MIL acting like she’s the hostess in my home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are a bad host. You obviously refuse to take responsibility as to why your MIL feels compelled to offer guests food. BECAUSE THEY ARE STARVING!!!!!!!!!!!@

You really need to take some medication. No one is starving at 3pm and requires wine and snacks. But go on with your crazy self. It’s amusing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you White?

Right, like this kind of crap doesn't happen in the households of people of color. You're a joke and a racist.

It doesn't. People of color have real problem like institutional racism and police violence. White people, especially white women are entitled, close-minded and needy. They create drama in normal situations. Reverse racism is not a thing.

Sweetie, you don’t need to be on DCUM if you’re dealing with so much oppression and trauma. If you don’t want to hear white people whining, why don’t you ease on down/ease on down the ro-ooooad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the posts defending the op appear to be from the op…

+1. But she’s complaining about her MIL offering her coffee while she’s slaving away at breakfast. Obviously, that’s a kind gesture and OP just wants to hate her MIL. Not much to defend.

NP. You can’t “offer someone coffee” when they’ve already made the coffee, and it’s in their home. That’s like “offering” someone money from their own wallet!

You can’t ask if they would like some coffee? I would like someone to offer me some so I didn’t have to constantly get up. There are some real martyrs here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the posts defending the op appear to be from the op…

+1. But she’s complaining about her MIL offering her coffee while she’s slaving away at breakfast. Obviously, that’s a kind gesture and OP just wants to hate her MIL. Not much to defend.

NP. You can’t “offer someone coffee” when they’ve already made the coffee, and it’s in their home. That’s like “offering” someone money from their own wallet!

You can’t ask if they would like some coffee? I would like someone to offer me some so I didn’t have to constantly get up. There are some real martyrs here.

I mean, did you read the original post, in which there is a lot more going on, over years and holidays, than one cup of coffee? It’s a pattern of behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the posts defending the op appear to be from the op…

+1. But she’s complaining about her MIL offering her coffee while she’s slaving away at breakfast. Obviously, that’s a kind gesture and OP just wants to hate her MIL. Not much to defend.

NP. You can’t “offer someone coffee” when they’ve already made the coffee, and it’s in their home. That’s like “offering” someone money from their own wallet!

You can’t ask if they would like some coffee? I would like someone to offer me some so I didn’t have to constantly get up. There are some real martyrs here.

“Constantly get up”? I make myself a cup of coffee every morning, and I’m not “constantly getting up” to do so. Talk about being a martyr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the posts defending the op appear to be from the op…

+1. But she’s complaining about her MIL offering her coffee while she’s slaving away at breakfast. Obviously, that’s a kind gesture and OP just wants to hate her MIL. Not much to defend.

NP. You can’t “offer someone coffee” when they’ve already made the coffee, and it’s in their home. That’s like “offering” someone money from their own wallet!

You can’t ask if they would like some coffee? I would like someone to offer me some so I didn’t have to constantly get up. There are some real martyrs here.

“Constantly get up”? I make myself a cup of coffee every morning, and I’m not “constantly getting up” to do so. Talk about being a martyr.

I guess your breakfast makes itself. And only the hostess is allowed to serve. Thats a lot of getting up so you can impress everyone with a lame casserole.

[Anonymous]

OP any chance your MIL has some mental issues? Could she forget that she is not the hostess?

[Anonymous]

I do this at my mom’s house. When she has large family gatherings, I treat it like it’s my house too and I’m always offering people things, suggesting stuff, restocking drinks and toilet paper and such. She likes it though! I think? I’m pretty sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are a bad host. You obviously refuse to take responsibility as to why your MIL feels compelled to offer guests food. BECAUSE THEY ARE STARVING!!!!!!!!!!!@

You really need to take some medication. No one is starving at 3pm and requires wine and snacks. But go on with your crazy self. It’s amusing.

You're gaslighting. This hostess needs the meds for her severe OCD and rigid meal restrictions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you White?

Right, like this kind of crap doesn't happen in the households of people of color. You're a joke and a racist.

It doesn't. People of color have real problem like institutional racism and police violence. White people, especially white women are entitled, close-minded and needy. They create drama in normal situations. Reverse racism is not a thing.

Sweetie, you don’t need to be on DCUM if you’re dealing with so much oppression and trauma. If you don’t want to hear white people whining, why don’t you ease on down/ease on down the ro-ooooad?

+1. That is funny.

[Anonymous]

I got invited to a 4pm mom gathering once of about 10 people that had 1 lonely appetizer - a small few frozen TJ's taquitos. And no beverages. We talked about how awful a host it was and how we starved. She did have an already eaten cake displayed, but nobody wanted it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are a bad host. You obviously refuse to take responsibility as to why your MIL feels compelled to offer guests food. BECAUSE THEY ARE STARVING!!!!!!!!!!!@

You really need to take some medication. No one is starving at 3pm and requires wine and snacks. But go on with your crazy self. It’s amusing.

You're gaslighting. This hostess needs the meds for her severe OCD and rigid meal restrictions.

I’m gaslighting someone who posted in all caps that at 3pm, people are starving followed by 10 exclamation marks when none of that was true? Really? Yeah, no. Please enlighten us to the post where OP has rigid meal restrictions and where she says no one can eat outside of the regular meal times. What page and time stamp?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are a bad host. You obviously refuse to take responsibility as to why your MIL feels compelled to offer guests food. BECAUSE THEY ARE STARVING!!!!!!!!!!!@

You really need to take some medication. No one is starving at 3pm and requires wine and snacks. But go on with your crazy self. It’s amusing.

You're gaslighting. This hostess needs the meds for her severe OCD and rigid meal restrictions.

I’m gaslighting someone who posted in all caps that at 3pm, people are starving followed by 10 exclamation marks when none of that was true? Really? Yeah, no. Please enlighten us to the post where OP has rigid meal restrictions and where she says no one can eat outside of the regular meal times. What page and time stamp?

Un read the OP its right there. Not at 3. Only at 5 when the host will serve those things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are a bad host. You obviously refuse to take responsibility as to why your MIL feels compelled to offer guests food. BECAUSE THEY ARE STARVING!!!!!!!!!!!@

You really need to take some medication. No one is starving at 3pm and requires wine and snacks. But go on with your crazy self. It’s amusing.

You're gaslighting. This hostess needs the meds for her severe OCD and rigid meal restrictions.

I’m gaslighting someone who posted in all caps that at 3pm, people are starving followed by 10 exclamation marks when none of that was true? Really? Yeah, no. Please enlighten us to the post where OP has rigid meal restrictions and where she says no one can eat outside of the regular meal times. What page and time stamp?

Un read the OP its right there. Not at 3. Only at 5 when the host will serve those things.

Yes, here is the quote: She starts offering people wine and snacks at 3 p.m., when DH and I serve those things at 5 p.m. Then she gets miffed when DH says “No, mom, we’re going to do X and Y at 5 o’clock, and that wine is actually for dinner.”

The issue is that the MIL is taking it upon herself to start serving others. OP isn’t here complaining that her MIL or any other guest is hungry and asking for a snack or that MIL went to the kitchen to help herself to something. The issue is that MIL is taking it upon herself as if she is the host to prepare and serve snacks to everyone. Mind you, no one is starving at 3pm. But hey, if MIL is hungry, she’s welcome to snack. What’s she’s not welcome to do is act as if she is the hostess and prepare snacks and wine to serve others. She’s a guest. That’s the issue OP and her spouse are having.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got invited to a 4pm mom gathering once of about 10 people that had 1 lonely appetizer - a small few frozen TJ's taquitos. And no beverages. We talked about how awful a host it was and how we starved. She did have an already eaten cake displayed, but nobody wanted it.

Oh come on, you did not. No one would tell other mom gathering moms that someone was an “awful host.” They might make lighthearted fun the next time about how they’ll be sure to have a snack before or bring a dish. But everyone is grateful to the mom who hosts the mom gathering no matter what.