Guy I'm dating says he needs time to "wrap things up" before we start our relatioship- what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very possible he’s been dating all of them longer than you. by actually wouldn’t mind a break up coffee date because it provides some finality. We’ve all had a break up phone call or text that didn’t feel complete. It’s not going to be a fun time for anyone but it’s a mature approach. I will say that I would’ve narrowed my dating partners down prior to this.

Seeing them longer than 3 months but not sleeping with either of them? Hmmmm a likely story

There is no indication from original post that he is not being intimate with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is one he likes just a bit more than you. He wants to see if he can get her to be exclusive with him first, before committing with you.

I mean, even if that's true, don't you want him to have that conversation and figure out what he wants. Personally, I don't want someone to be with me because I pressured them, I want them to decide freely.

Exactly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very possible he’s been dating all of them longer than you. by actually wouldn’t mind a break up coffee date because it provides some finality. We’ve all had a break up phone call or text that didn’t feel complete. It’s not going to be a fun time for anyone but it’s a mature approach. I will say that I would’ve narrowed my dating partners down prior to this.

Seeing them longer than 3 months but not sleeping with either of them? Hmmmm a likely story

There is no indication from original post that he is not being intimate with them.

In a follow up post OP said he was not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very possible he’s been dating all of them longer than you. by actually wouldn’t mind a break up coffee date because it provides some finality. We’ve all had a break up phone call or text that didn’t feel complete. It’s not going to be a fun time for anyone but it’s a mature approach. I will say that I would’ve narrowed my dating partners down prior to this.

Seeing them longer than 3 months but not sleeping with either of them? Hmmmm a likely story

There is no indication from original post that he is not being intimate with them.

DP - the OP came back and said she'd asked him if he was sleeping with them and he said no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very possible he’s been dating all of them longer than you. by actually wouldn’t mind a break up coffee date because it provides some finality. We’ve all had a break up phone call or text that didn’t feel complete. It’s not going to be a fun time for anyone but it’s a mature approach. I will say that I would’ve narrowed my dating partners down prior to this.

Seeing them longer than 3 months but not sleeping with either of them? Hmmmm a likely story

There is no indication from original post that he is not being intimate with them.

Ok I saw the update a few million pages in. Six weeks is long enough to merit an in person interaction. For all you know they are hanging out a few times a week. Even casually if you respect the other person it’s not a terrible idea to close the loop well. You were not exclusive. It prob hurts a bit to fully understand that. If you can’t move forward without feeling put out you’d prob be better starting over with someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very possible he’s been dating all of them longer than you. by actually wouldn’t mind a break up coffee date because it provides some finality. We’ve all had a break up phone call or text that didn’t feel complete. It’s not going to be a fun time for anyone but it’s a mature approach. I will say that I would’ve narrowed my dating partners down prior to this.

Seeing them longer than 3 months but not sleeping with either of them? Hmmmm a likely story

There is no indication from original post that he is not being intimate with them.

Ok I saw the update a few million pages in. Six weeks is long enough to merit an in person interaction. For all you know they are hanging out a few times a week. Even casually if you respect the other person it’s not a terrible idea to close the loop well. You were not exclusive. It prob hurts a bit to fully understand that. If you can’t move forward without feeling put out you’d prob be better starting over with someone else.

Not really. A few dates and no sex sounds pretty casual. A simple text/phone call would suffice. Not sure a guy with all the time in the world to be dating multiple women many nights of the week, whom he may or may not be sleeping with, sounds like a good catch. Must not have much of a career to have so much free time. Just another red flag in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very possible he’s been dating all of them longer than you. by actually wouldn’t mind a break up coffee date because it provides some finality. We’ve all had a break up phone call or text that didn’t feel complete. It’s not going to be a fun time for anyone but it’s a mature approach. I will say that I would’ve narrowed my dating partners down prior to this.

Seeing them longer than 3 months but not sleeping with either of them? Hmmmm a likely story

There is no indication from original post that he is not being intimate with them.

Ok I saw the update a few million pages in. Six weeks is long enough to merit an in person interaction. For all you know they are hanging out a few times a week. Even casually if you respect the other person it’s not a terrible idea to close the loop well. You were not exclusive. It prob hurts a bit to fully understand that. If you can’t move forward without feeling put out you’d prob be better starting over with someone else.

Not really. A few dates and no sex sounds pretty casual. A simple text/phone call would suffice. Not sure a guy with all the time in the world to be dating multiple women many nights of the week, whom he may or may not be sleeping with, sounds like a good catch. Must not have much of a career to have so much free time. Just another red flag in this situation.

OK let’s be honest no one believes adults are not having sex by six weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very possible he’s been dating all of them longer than you. by actually wouldn’t mind a break up coffee date because it provides some finality. We’ve all had a break up phone call or text that didn’t feel complete. It’s not going to be a fun time for anyone but it’s a mature approach. I will say that I would’ve narrowed my dating partners down prior to this.

Seeing them longer than 3 months but not sleeping with either of them? Hmmmm a likely story

There is no indication from original post that he is not being intimate with them.

Ok I saw the update a few million pages in. Six weeks is long enough to merit an in person interaction. For all you know they are hanging out a few times a week. Even casually if you respect the other person it’s not a terrible idea to close the loop well. You were not exclusive. It prob hurts a bit to fully understand that. If you can’t move forward without feeling put out you’d prob be better starting over with someone else.

Not really. A few dates and no sex sounds pretty casual. A simple text/phone call would suffice. Not sure a guy with all the time in the world to be dating multiple women many nights of the week, whom he may or may not be sleeping with, sounds like a good catch. Must not have much of a career to have so much free time. Just another red flag in this situation.

Probably also helpful to point out that if he’s only been dating them six weeks… Which is over a month that begin about the same time he reached six weeks with op…. He was still looking. And I could honestly say if I was dating someone casually and we had sex a few times I would not share that I was sleeping with them. If it was a few times a week maybe. But maybe not. Because we’re not exclusive and we didn’t have a direct conversation about it.

[Anonymous]

Is his profile active?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very possible he’s been dating all of them longer than you. by actually wouldn’t mind a break up coffee date because it provides some finality. We’ve all had a break up phone call or text that didn’t feel complete. It’s not going to be a fun time for anyone but it’s a mature approach. I will say that I would’ve narrowed my dating partners down prior to this.

Seeing them longer than 3 months but not sleeping with either of them? Hmmmm a likely story

There is no indication from original post that he is not being intimate with them.

Ok I saw the update a few million pages in. Six weeks is long enough to merit an in person interaction. For all you know they are hanging out a few times a week. Even casually if you respect the other person it’s not a terrible idea to close the loop well. You were not exclusive. It prob hurts a bit to fully understand that. If you can’t move forward without feeling put out you’d prob be better starting over with someone else.

Not really. A few dates and no sex sounds pretty casual. A simple text/phone call would suffice. Not sure a guy with all the time in the world to be dating multiple women many nights of the week, whom he may or may not be sleeping with, sounds like a good catch. Must not have much of a career to have so much free time. Just another red flag in this situation.

OK let’s be honest no one believes adults are not having sex by six weeks.

That's the issue here now because if he is, then he's lied to her about it. Not the way to start a new relationship which is why she's right to trust her gut because this doesn't seem to be a good one.

[Anonymous]

Op. He sounds like a decent human being. Give him a chance to do what he needs to. He picked you. He’s communicating what he needs to be completely free and with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very possible he’s been dating all of them longer than you. by actually wouldn’t mind a break up coffee date because it provides some finality. We’ve all had a break up phone call or text that didn’t feel complete. It’s not going to be a fun time for anyone but it’s a mature approach. I will say that I would’ve narrowed my dating partners down prior to this.

Seeing them longer than 3 months but not sleeping with either of them? Hmmmm a likely story

There is no indication from original post that he is not being intimate with them.

Ok I saw the update a few million pages in. Six weeks is long enough to merit an in person interaction. For all you know they are hanging out a few times a week. Even casually if you respect the other person it’s not a terrible idea to close the loop well. You were not exclusive. It prob hurts a bit to fully understand that. If you can’t move forward without feeling put out you’d prob be better starting over with someone else.

Not really. A few dates and no sex sounds pretty casual. A simple text/phone call would suffice. Not sure a guy with all the time in the world to be dating multiple women many nights of the week, whom he may or may not be sleeping with, sounds like a good catch. Must not have much of a career to have so much free time. Just another red flag in this situation.

OK let’s be honest no one believes adults are not having sex by six weeks.

Exactly. He’s either lying about not have had sex with them, or lying about his intentions for the in-person meeting (because it wouldn’t be necessary for someone casually dating 6 weeks and not sleeping together).

[Anonymous]

Really wish this was posted on AITA to see where it ended up

[Anonymous]

I find it weird that others feel like they can determine what is or isn’t necessary for a break up. I suspect if you were being broken up with by text it wouldn’t be embraced as nonchalantly. Op has only been with this guy a few more weeks than the others. Would it be ok to break up with her over the phone cleanly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very possible he’s been dating all of them longer than you. by actually wouldn’t mind a break up coffee date because it provides some finality. We’ve all had a break up phone call or text that didn’t feel complete. It’s not going to be a fun time for anyone but it’s a mature approach. I will say that I would’ve narrowed my dating partners down prior to this.

Seeing them longer than 3 months but not sleeping with either of them? Hmmmm a likely story

There is no indication from original post that he is not being intimate with them.

Ok I saw the update a few million pages in. Six weeks is long enough to merit an in person interaction. For all you know they are hanging out a few times a week. Even casually if you respect the other person it’s not a terrible idea to close the loop well. You were not exclusive. It prob hurts a bit to fully understand that. If you can’t move forward without feeling put out you’d prob be better starting over with someone else.

Not really. A few dates and no sex sounds pretty casual. A simple text/phone call would suffice. Not sure a guy with all the time in the world to be dating multiple women many nights of the week, whom he may or may not be sleeping with, sounds like a good catch. Must not have much of a career to have so much free time. Just another red flag in this situation.

OK let’s be honest no one believes adults are not having sex by six weeks.

I am a woman. I don't have sex within 6 weeks.