When one sibling lives in parents' house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I talked to my in laws. They don’t want the sleepover here. They share my fear. They would happily go there but they have not been invited.

I think after watching their son and grandkids suffer they just really want people to be happy, so they were hoping for some magic solution.

And they have now shared this with their daughter?

Yes her father called her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I talked to my in laws. They don’t want the sleepover here. They share my fear. They would happily go there but they have not been invited.

I think after watching their son and grandkids suffer they just really want people to be happy, so they were hoping for some magic solution.

And they have now shared this with their daughter?

Yes her father called her.

Great! So everything is taken care of. Hope you have a Merry Christmas!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I talked to my in laws. They don’t want the sleepover here. They share my fear. They would happily go there but they have not been invited.

I think after watching their son and grandkids suffer they just really want people to be happy, so they were hoping for some magic solution.

Where haven't they been invited? I'm confused.

Because my SIL is insistent that the cousins (my kids) be there, and isn’t interested in hosting.

Wasn’t there another sibling that was willing to host the whole family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I talked to my in laws. They don’t want the sleepover here. They share my fear. They would happily go there but they have not been invited.

I think after watching their son and grandkids suffer they just really want people to be happy, so they were hoping for some magic solution.

And they have now shared this with their daughter?

Yes her father called her.

Don’t leave us hanging - how did it go and what’s the plan?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I talked to my in laws. They don’t want the sleepover here. They share my fear. They would happily go there but they have not been invited.

I think after watching their son and grandkids suffer they just really want people to be happy, so they were hoping for some magic solution.

Where haven't they been invited? I'm confused.

Because my SIL is insistent that the cousins (my kids) be there, and isn’t interested in hosting.

Wasn’t there another sibling that was willing to host the whole family?

There is another sibling who is hosting presents/playtime/dinner. She might have offered a Christmas Eve option if it had come up then but she says she likes the original plan. There is a third sibling but they have a tiny condo with steps so they aren’t hosting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I talked to my in laws. They don’t want the sleepover here. They share my fear. They would happily go there but they have not been invited.

I think after watching their son and grandkids suffer they just really want people to be happy, so they were hoping for some magic solution.

And they have now shared this with their daughter?

Yes her father called her.

Don’t leave us hanging - how did it go and what’s the plan?

I have no idea he left the room to speak privately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I talked to my in laws. They don’t want the sleepover here. They share my fear. They would happily go there but they have not been invited.

I think after watching their son and grandkids suffer they just really want people to be happy, so they were hoping for some magic solution.

Where haven't they been invited? I'm confused.

Because my SIL is insistent that the cousins (my kids) be there, and isn’t interested in hosting.

Of course she isn't. Sister sounds like the prototypical spoiled youngest and/or always favored child, who is used to the whole family catering to her every whim and giving her her way and now is stunned that it isn't happening.

And if she "doesn't understand how serious his condition is" after two recent MONTHS in the hospital, she's also an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I talked to my in laws. They don’t want the sleepover here. They share my fear. They would happily go there but they have not been invited.

I think after watching their son and grandkids suffer they just really want people to be happy, so they were hoping for some magic solution.

Where haven't they been invited? I'm confused.

Because my SIL is insistent that the cousins (my kids) be there, and isn’t interested in hosting.

Of course she isn't. Sister sounds like the prototypical spoiled youngest and/or always favored child, who is used to the whole family catering to her every whim and giving her her way and now is stunned that it isn't happening.

And if she "doesn't understand how serious his condition is" after two recent MONTHS in the hospital, she's also an idiot.

Ironically she’s a middle child, because I agree she’s like a caricature of a youngest.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s time to move out of there. I have an adult sibling who lives at home. The only way it works is that we all just pretend they live elsewhere. It’s preposterous to move your whole family in when you were only a few blocks away. I feel sorry for your ILs and the extended family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one’s smelling a rat here?
The DH medical condition becomes progressively worse with each OP update.

+1
Posts like this always seem trollish to me. They won’t say all the facts yet aren’t smart enough to keep up with what they have said

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one’s smelling a rat here?
The DH medical condition becomes progressively worse with each OP update.

+1
Posts like this always seem trollish to me. They won’t say all the facts yet aren’t smart enough to keep up with what they have said

Can you show me where I did that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it sounds more complicated. I personally would want to rest in my own room if things got overwhelming. I’m sure she set it up that way because they’ll just leave after 30 minutes. I think that’s fine, but she’s not being honest about it, unless she said it was probably just a drive by.

I understand that might be what you want. I find it hard to imagine what it’s like to find that your brain doesn’t work like it used to. DH doesn’t react to being overwhelmed by getting sleepy and wanting to go off. He gets confused and irritable and agitated. He does best with a walk or a drive or a change of scenery. That will be easier to make happen if I am not also hosting a ton of people.

My hope would be that we’ll come and do presents and then he’ll take some kind of break and be back for the meal. Maybe that will be too long, we’ll play it by ear.

The sibling hosting has a good sense of what to expect. They’ll be fine with whatever happens. There has been no dishonesty. The sibling who is objecting does not have realistic expectations, but that’s not because I have been dishonest.

But, you wouldn't be hosting. Wouldn't your inlaws? I'm sure your SIL would be fine if you and DH left for awhile. I really was on your side, but you really sound difficult the more you post. This is just a vent about your SIL. We get it.

I do the cooking and cleaning. That's the deal of us living here. I do the caretaking stuff they can no longer do. They provide childcare. We both save some money.

But no, I'd need to come up with 3 more meals, and figure out sleeping arrangements, and change all the sheets, etc . . . I work full time, My only day off for Christas is Friday which would be the day they come.

You’ve had a lot of time for this thread today, just sayin’. 😉 Probably could have figured out the sleeping arrangements, asked your teens to make the beds, and ordered food for breakfast online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I talked to my in laws. They don’t want the sleepover here. They share my fear. They would happily go there but they have not been invited.

I think after watching their son and grandkids suffer they just really want people to be happy, so they were hoping for some magic solution.

And they have now shared this with their daughter?

Yes her father called her.

Don’t leave us hanging - how did it go and what’s the plan?

I have no idea he left the room to speak privately.

You come across as a very strong personality. Have you considered that In-laws don’t actually agree with you but feel obligated to tell you what you want to hear?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it sounds more complicated. I personally would want to rest in my own room if things got overwhelming. I’m sure she set it up that way because they’ll just leave after 30 minutes. I think that’s fine, but she’s not being honest about it, unless she said it was probably just a drive by.

I understand that might be what you want. I find it hard to imagine what it’s like to find that your brain doesn’t work like it used to. DH doesn’t react to being overwhelmed by getting sleepy and wanting to go off. He gets confused and irritable and agitated. He does best with a walk or a drive or a change of scenery. That will be easier to make happen if I am not also hosting a ton of people.

My hope would be that we’ll come and do presents and then he’ll take some kind of break and be back for the meal. Maybe that will be too long, we’ll play it by ear.

The sibling hosting has a good sense of what to expect. They’ll be fine with whatever happens. There has been no dishonesty. The sibling who is objecting does not have realistic expectations, but that’s not because I have been dishonest.

But, you wouldn't be hosting. Wouldn't your inlaws? I'm sure your SIL would be fine if you and DH left for awhile. I really was on your side, but you really sound difficult the more you post. This is just a vent about your SIL. We get it.

I do the cooking and cleaning. That's the deal of us living here. I do the caretaking stuff they can no longer do. They provide childcare. We both save some money.

But no, I'd need to come up with 3 more meals, and figure out sleeping arrangements, and change all the sheets, etc . . . I work full time, My only day off for Christas is Friday which would be the day they come.

You’ve had a lot of time for this thread today, just sayin’. 😉 Probably could have figured out the sleeping arrangements, asked your teens to make the beds, and ordered food for breakfast online.

And forced my elderly in laws to host people they didn’t want to host?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I talked to my in laws. They don’t want the sleepover here. They share my fear. They would happily go there but they have not been invited.

I think after watching their son and grandkids suffer they just really want people to be happy, so they were hoping for some magic solution.

And they have now shared this with their daughter?

Yes her father called her.

Don’t leave us hanging - how did it go and what’s the plan?

I have no idea he left the room to speak privately.

You come across as a very strong personality. Have you considered that In-laws don’t actually agree with you but feel obligated to tell you what you want to hear?

I am pretty fiercely protective of my DH right now. I think usually SIL is the stronger personality.