First X-Mas as blended family off to terrible start

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:29 is old enough to be cordial, but if I were one of the adult kids in this situation...it’s hard to even begin to articulate how awful it would be to see your dad start over with a new wife and new baby. You made the choice to have this complicated family dynamic. The adult kids did not choose to lose their family of origin.

This. As a 29 year old, reading this makes me want to cry. I can’t imagine losing my mother and then having my dad start a new family.

The mother in this case has been dead for many years. It's a bit selfish of you to go on building your life but expect dad to stay unattached forever. It's not like you're there to keep him company!

The parents were already divorced before the mom died.

But anyway, there is a difference between getting remarried and getting remarried and having a new kud a generation younger than an existing set.

This. I'm the 29 year old PP. I wouldn't expect my father to remain single forever and I'd like to think I'd welcome a new partner into the family...but another baby three decades younger than me would be so hard.

Why?
No one is asking you to raise him/her

omg crazy person
so if your father ran around in a gorilla suit you would be fine with it because he is not asking you to dry clean it...

Dumbass if you think deciding to make a life with someone is equivalent to warring a costume your ass is crazier than the dude in the gorilla suit.

having a toddler with a new wife while collecting social security is actually more stupid than running around in a gorilla suit. this topic is clearly too personal for you to be able to think straight.

Heffa who says he is collection social security. Who are you to decide what is the best decision for him and his life??
You do realize that people make sound judgment calls and quality decisions about their lives that just happened to differ from the ones that makes sense for your life ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:29 is old enough to be cordial, but if I were one of the adult kids in this situation...it’s hard to even begin to articulate how awful it would be to see your dad start over with a new wife and new baby. You made the choice to have this complicated family dynamic. The adult kids did not choose to lose their family of origin.

This. As a 29 year old, reading this makes me want to cry. I can’t imagine losing my mother and then having my dad start a new family.

The mother in this case has been dead for many years. It's a bit selfish of you to go on building your life but expect dad to stay unattached forever. It's not like you're there to keep him company!

The parents were already divorced before the mom died.

But anyway, there is a difference between getting remarried and getting remarried and having a new kud a generation younger than an existing set.

This. I'm the 29 year old PP. I wouldn't expect my father to remain single forever and I'd like to think I'd welcome a new partner into the family...but another baby three decades younger than me would be so hard.

Why?
No one is asking you to raise him/her

omg crazy person
so if your father ran around in a gorilla suit you would be fine with it because he is not asking you to dry clean it...

Dumbass if you think deciding to make a life with someone is equivalent to warring a costume your ass is crazier than the dude in the gorilla suit.

having a toddler with a new wife while collecting social security is actually more stupid than running around in a gorilla suit. this topic is clearly too personal for you to be able to think straight.

Heffa who says he is collection social security. Who are you to decide what is the best decision for him and his life??
You do realize that people make sound judgment calls and quality decisions about their lives that just happened to differ from the ones that makes sense for your life ?

there are many things in life (e.g. doing drugs, gambling, and yes, starting a new family with a new baby very late in life) that are stupid regardless of who you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:29 is old enough to be cordial, but if I were one of the adult kids in this situation...it’s hard to even begin to articulate how awful it would be to see your dad start over with a new wife and new baby. You made the choice to have this complicated family dynamic. The adult kids did not choose to lose their family of origin.

This. As a 29 year old, reading this makes me want to cry. I can’t imagine losing my mother and then having my dad start a new family.

The mother in this case has been dead for many years. It's a bit selfish of you to go on building your life but expect dad to stay unattached forever. It's not like you're there to keep him company!

The parents were already divorced before the mom died.

But anyway, there is a difference between getting remarried and getting remarried and having a new kud a generation younger than an existing set.

This. I'm the 29 year old PP. I wouldn't expect my father to remain single forever and I'd like to think I'd welcome a new partner into the family...but another baby three decades younger than me would be so hard.

Why?
No one is asking you to raise him/her

omg crazy person
so if your father ran around in a gorilla suit you would be fine with it because he is not asking you to dry clean it...

Dumbass if you think deciding to make a life with someone is equivalent to warring a costume your ass is crazier than the dude in the gorilla suit.

having a toddler with a new wife while collecting social security is actually more stupid than running around in a gorilla suit. this topic is clearly too personal for you to be able to think straight.

Heffa who says he is collection social security. Who are you to decide what is the best decision for him and his life??
You do realize that people make sound judgment calls and quality decisions about their lives that just happened to differ from the ones that makes sense for your life ?

there are many things in life (e.g. doing drugs, gambling, and yes, starting a new family with a new baby very late in life) that are stupid regardless of who you are.

You are truly pitiful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I can’t fully articulate why. I’d probably feel replaced and like my siblings and I weren’t “enough” for him. I’d be concerned that he wouldn’t have enough time for me and my kids. I’ve always been my dad’s baby and I’d grieve the end of that. It would be disorienting to see my dad as a peer parent rather than the big strong authority figure I grew up with. I’d be embarrassed to tell people I have a sibling younger than my own kids.

With that type of attitude, I wonder how you got over having siblings at all, what with them replacing you and you not being enough and whatnot.

And you'd probably think dad was selfish and crazy if he told you he's concerned you are getting married and procreating because then you wouldn't have enough time for him. Oh but that's right, dad is supposed to be available for you whenever you feel like it, but if dad, say, insisted on you coming over twice a week and claiming some of YOUR time, you'd be like oh no! get a life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:29 is old enough to be cordial, but if I were one of the adult kids in this situation...it’s hard to even begin to articulate how awful it would be to see your dad start over with a new wife and new baby. You made the choice to have this complicated family dynamic. The adult kids did not choose to lose their family of origin.

This. As a 29 year old, reading this makes me want to cry. I can’t imagine losing my mother and then having my dad start a new family.

The mother in this case has been dead for many years. It's a bit selfish of you to go on building your life but expect dad to stay unattached forever. It's not like you're there to keep him company!

The parents were already divorced before the mom died.

But anyway, there is a difference between getting remarried and getting remarried and having a new kud a generation younger than an existing set.

This. I'm the 29 year old PP. I wouldn't expect my father to remain single forever and I'd like to think I'd welcome a new partner into the family...but another baby three decades younger than me would be so hard.

Why?
No one is asking you to raise him/her

omg crazy person
so if your father ran around in a gorilla suit you would be fine with it because he is not asking you to dry clean it...

Dumbass if you think deciding to make a life with someone is equivalent to warring a costume your ass is crazier than the dude in the gorilla suit.

having a toddler with a new wife while collecting social security is actually more stupid than running around in a gorilla suit. this topic is clearly too personal for you to be able to think straight.

Heffa who says he is collection social security. Who are you to decide what is the best decision for him and his life??
You do realize that people make sound judgment calls and quality decisions about their lives that just happened to differ from the ones that makes sense for your life ?

there are many things in life (e.g. doing drugs, gambling, and yes, starting a new family with a new baby very late in life) that are stupid regardless of who you are.

You are truly pitiful

are you the OP? you seem weirdly invested into defending this crazy old man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I can’t fully articulate why. I’d probably feel replaced and like my siblings and I weren’t “enough” for him. I’d be concerned that he wouldn’t have enough time for me and my kids. I’ve always been my dad’s baby and I’d grieve the end of that. It would be disorienting to see my dad as a peer parent rather than the big strong authority figure I grew up with. I’d be embarrassed to tell people I have a sibling younger than my own kids.

With that type of attitude, I wonder how you got over having siblings at all, what with them replacing you and you not being enough and whatnot.

And you'd probably think dad was selfish and crazy if he told you he's concerned you are getting married and procreating because then you wouldn't have enough time for him. Oh but that's right, dad is supposed to be available for you whenever you feel like it, but if dad, say, insisted on you coming over twice a week and claiming some of YOUR time, you'd be like oh no! get a life!

Ok, OP.

[Anonymous]

I’m still stuck on the flu. How are you all doing? If you can get through this plague you may end up best friends forever.

[Anonymous]

Did OP ever come back to say how old her DH is?

-genuinely curious about this

[Anonymous]

No, I'm surprised people give her crap for having a kid with her DH. Isn't that like normal??? At least she's not some unwed loser having 2 kids by 2 ex-boyfriends.

[Anonymous]

OP is old enough to know better. This will end in a miserable divorce or an early death for the husband. OP will flame out in her own midlife crisis and the stepdaughter will end up raising the baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is old enough to know better. This will end in a miserable divorce or an early death for the husband. OP will flame out in her own midlife crisis and the stepdaughter will end up raising the baby.

LOL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I'm surprised people give her crap for having a kid with her DH. Isn't that like normal??? At least she's not some unwed loser having 2 kids by 2 ex-boyfriends.

at their ages and with both having multiple kids it is not all that normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I'm surprised people give her crap for having a kid with her DH. Isn't that like normal??? At least she's not some unwed loser having 2 kids by 2 ex-boyfriends.

at their ages and with both having multiple kids it is not all that normal.

It's not normal to have children out of wedlock either but that is somehow more accpetable????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I'm surprised people give her crap for having a kid with her DH. Isn't that like normal??? At least she's not some unwed loser having 2 kids by 2 ex-boyfriends.

at their ages and with both having multiple kids it is not all that normal.

It's not normal to have children out of wedlock either but that is somehow more accpetable????

it’s much more common... many people of OP’s age can’t have children even when they want to. amd most women with two young kids would hesitate to make them even more vulnerable by having a new baby

[Anonymous]

If the old dad is retired and drawing his Social Security, the baby can collect a check for half of dad's benefit, up until the point the baby turns 19. Pretty wild! Not sure why this is allowed, but it is.

http://time.com/money/3956341/kids-social-security-benefits/