First X-Mas as blended family off to terrible start

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the old dad is retired and drawing his Social Security, the baby can collect a check for half of dad's benefit, up until the point the baby turns 19. Pretty wild! Not sure why this is allowed, but it is.

http://time.com/money/3956341/kids-social-security-benefits/

It is this way because most older men have trouble supporting a child, and the idea is that the child shouldn't suffer for it. There is, however, a family maximum so if dad lives really long he may run out of SS because of 'sharing' it with the kid.

[Anonymous]

If blended families worked, divorce would be sanctioned by the Bible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the old dad is retired and drawing his Social Security, the baby can collect a check for half of dad's benefit, up until the point the baby turns 19. Pretty wild! Not sure why this is allowed, but it is.

http://time.com/money/3956341/kids-social-security-benefits/

It is this way because most older men have trouble supporting a child, and the idea is that the child shouldn't suffer for it. There is, however, a family maximum so if dad lives really long he may run out of SS because of 'sharing' it with the kid.

Very common in Latino families to have kids very, very late with second or third wife. Then these benefits kick in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If blended families worked, divorce would be sanctioned by the Bible.

Shut up
WRONG!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If blended families worked, divorce would be sanctioned by the Bible.

I'm not religious, but I agree; old religious texts contain wisdom that roughly approximates a utilitarian point of view - keeping the peace across a large group of people and minimizing upheaval. Individuals at times might have to forgo optimal happiness, but the group overall does well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If blended families worked, divorce would be sanctioned by the Bible.

I'm not religious, but I agree; old religious texts contain wisdom that roughly approximates a utilitarian point of view - keeping the peace across a large group of people and minimizing upheaval. Individuals at times might have to forgo optimal happiness, but the group overall does well.

+1

[Anonymous]

I've been Latina my entire life and lived among Latinos for most of it. I've never once seen an over-65 dad of young kids among them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There are 9 adults and 8 children in this house.

This sounds like a nightmare even if nobody's puking. Why did you sign up for that? Never do it again!

It was really important to DH to have kids kids and grandkids here. They spent their teen and early adult years at this house, they want to continue the tradition. Last year my two and I went and stayed with my dad who was in bad health. This year we have our 10-month-old so things are different. He desperately wants one big happy family.

Too bad. I always find it so ridiculous and selfish when people involved have divorce and remarriage and half-siblings to expect the kids to be all kumbayah about it, especially before a long period (ie, years) of adjustment has happened. DH and OP asked for this mess.

I always find it so ridiculous when nitwits on here can't read..the guy is not divorced. Hes a WIDOW. He has a right to find love again and his brat kids should attempt to be supportive.

[Anonymous]

Yeah he's a widow but he can't expect his kids to enjoy having him focus on his baby instead of their grand kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like your DH is an idiot. And you should expect things to be difficult when you marry and have children outside your age range. This happens all the time. Older men want the new wife and they agree to more kids, but it is more than they can handle emotionally, logistically, and financially. There is just not enough Dad/Grandpa to go around, and you set things up to be weird by being so close in age to his children. Your child means that the grandchildren will not get the attention from their grandfather that they otherwise would. And their grandmother is dead so it is all the more painful to see them miss out on what could have been. Yes the divorce is in the past, but they are missing out on their grandfather's time and attention in the present. Even more so with the new baby. The loss and grief and complexity of that is happening now.

If you wanted easy holidays you should not have married into a complicated family and made it even more complicated. Remember, you and youe DH chose this and nobody else had a choice. Then you CHOSE to make it even more complicated with another baby. Sorry but that is the reality.

NP. Very thoughtful post, pp. I think you nailed it.

The stepdaughter, an adult woman with a family of her own, chose to accept this invitation. She’s entitled to feel all the grief and loss she wants, but she needs to be civil to her father’s wife in their home. If she can’t, she should have declined. She doesn’t need to accept her father’s choices but ultimately she doesn’t get a say. Life isn’t fair.

Frankly the 29yr old SD sounds like trailer trash. You dont walk into someone's home who is hosting you and behave like an adolescent. Trash trash trash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is old enough to know better. This will end in a miserable divorce or an early death for the husband. OP will flame out in her own midlife crisis and the stepdaughter will end up raising the baby.

What is going to be sweet justice is when the DH dies all of his money will go to his wife and by default his youngest child. His older brats will be out in the cold. Guaranteed this man has a ton of money. I'd love to see that update.

My mom remarried late in life when ALL the kids were grown and his kids were jealous of her. Every dime of his goes to her and he's sitting on a lot of it. Guaranteed that there is no love loss between my mom and her step kids and they wont see a penny of generosity out of her. I will though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is old enough to know better. This will end in a miserable divorce or an early death for the husband. OP will flame out in her own midlife crisis and the stepdaughter will end up raising the baby.

What is going to be sweet justice is when the DH dies all of his money will go to his wife and by default his youngest child. His older brats will be out in the cold. Guaranteed this man has a ton of money. I'd love to see that update.

My mom remarried late in life when ALL the kids were grown and his kids were jealous of her. Every dime of his goes to her and he's sitting on a lot of it. Guaranteed that there is no love loss between my mom and her step kids and they wont see a penny of generosity out of her. I will though

You are an awful person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There are 9 adults and 8 children in this house.

This sounds like a nightmare even if nobody's puking. Why did you sign up for that? Never do it again!

It was really important to DH to have kids kids and grandkids here. They spent their teen and early adult years at this house, they want to continue the tradition. Last year my two and I went and stayed with my dad who was in bad health. This year we have our 10-month-old so things are different. He desperately wants one big happy family.

Too bad. I always find it so ridiculous and selfish when people involved have divorce and remarriage and half-siblings to expect the kids to be all kumbayah about it, especially before a long period (ie, years) of adjustment has happened. DH and OP asked for this mess.

I always find it so ridiculous when nitwits on here can't read..the guy is not divorced. Hes a WIDOW. He has a right to find love again and his brat kids should attempt to be supportive.

The guy was DIVORCED! The mom died years after the divorce.

Goodness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is old enough to know better. This will end in a miserable divorce or an early death for the husband. OP will flame out in her own midlife crisis and the stepdaughter will end up raising the baby.

What is going to be sweet justice is when the DH dies all of his money will go to his wife and by default his youngest child. His older brats will be out in the cold. Guaranteed this man has a ton of money. I'd love to see that update.

My mom remarried late in life when ALL the kids were grown and his kids were jealous of her. Every dime of his goes to her and he's sitting on a lot of it. Guaranteed that there is no love loss between my mom and her step kids and they wont see a penny of generosity out of her. I will though

Are you suggesting your gold digging momma would support the real kids getting an inheritance if they cow towed to her? Somehow, I doubt that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is old enough to know better. This will end in a miserable divorce or an early death for the husband. OP will flame out in her own midlife crisis and the stepdaughter will end up raising the baby.

What is going to be sweet justice is when the DH dies all of his money will go to his wife and by default his youngest child. His older brats will be out in the cold. Guaranteed this man has a ton of money. I'd love to see that update.

My mom remarried late in life when ALL the kids were grown and his kids were jealous of her. Every dime of his goes to her and he's sitting on a lot of it. Guaranteed that there is no love loss between my mom and her step kids and they wont see a penny of generosity out of her. I will though

Are you suggesting your gold digging momma would support the real kids getting an inheritance if they cow towed to her? Somehow, I doubt that.

The mom here doesnt sound like the steoreotypical gold digger. Maybe she's nice and loving to her husband, and his kids are mean to him.