First X-Mas as blended family off to terrible start

[Anonymous]

DH has three adult children from previous marriage and 5 grandchildren (1,1, 2, 4 and 5). I have two children from a previous marriage (5&7) and we be one child together (almost 1).

This is the very first time all of our kids and his grandkids have been together in one place since our wedding. There are 9 adults and 8 children in this house. 11 out of 17 are currently down with a stomach bug.

DH daughter openly dislikes me and has made digs at my parenting all day (our boys are the same age). She’s letting her kids tear our place apart and her 5-year-old bullies my 5-year-old. My 7-year-old is patient 0 and now my stepdaughter is claiming we did it on purpose (why?!?!).

I get along with my stepsons but one is currently going through health issues and I feel terrible that he’s been exposed to the virus. DD was FINE Sunday night and played and ate well but woke up at 4am vomiting and by noon my 5-year-old, her 5-year-old and 2-year-old and the 4-year-old were all vomiting. Now the only healthy child is my infant. Stepson and DH are sick. I’m feeling sick. I put so much effort and and wanted everything to go perfect and now it’s the worst possible outcome (well, not worse but close).

The kids will most likely feel 100% in the morning but the adults will be too sick to function.

Next Christmas I think we may just travel.

Oh well...

[Anonymous]

Hugs, OP. It'll get better.

Merry Christmas

[Anonymous]

Is the step daughter same age as you?

[Anonymous]

So sorry OP. Someday this will seem funny!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the step daughter same age as you?

No, she’s 29 and I’m 43. Her mother passed away a few years ago and it’s tough. I get it. My father remained less than two years after my mother died. DH and her mother divorced when they were kids but he was single for most of her teen and adult life. I imagine it’s odd to have children the same age as your half siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the step daughter same age as you?

No, she’s 29 and I’m 43. Her mother passed away a few years ago and it’s tough. I get it. My father remained less than two years after my mother died. DH and her mother divorced when they were kids but he was single for most of her teen and adult life. I imagine it’s odd to have children the same age as your half siblings.

*remarried

[Anonymous]

There are 9 adults and 8 children in this house.

This sounds like a nightmare even if nobody's puking. Why did you sign up for that? Never do it again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

There are 9 adults and 8 children in this house.

This sounds like a nightmare even if nobody's puking. Why did you sign up for that? Never do it again!

It was really important to DH to have kids kids and grandkids here. They spent their teen and early adult years at this house, they want to continue the tradition. Last year my two and I went and stayed with my dad who was in bad health. This year we have our 10-month-old so things are different. He desperately wants one big happy family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There are 9 adults and 8 children in this house.

This sounds like a nightmare even if nobody's puking. Why did you sign up for that? Never do it again!

It was really important to DH to have kids kids and grandkids here. They spent their teen and early adult years at this house, they want to continue the tradition. Last year my two and I went and stayed with my dad who was in bad health. This year we have our 10-month-old so things are different. He desperately wants one big happy family.

It doesn't sound like he's going to get it. I would decline next year.

[Anonymous]

Without the added layer of you “replacing “ her mom (which I know is not what happened but is an easy feeling to have regardless, but even without that, having three sick kids in not your house and worrying you will get sick any second is stressful. My DD threw up on Christmas while we were at a hotel. It was awful and so stressful. I can imagine that if she is tending to her sick kids and other people in the house are coming down with it, her stress is on 100. If she is normally cordial to you, let the digs go and try to enjoy. If she normally hates you, well, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There are 9 adults and 8 children in this house.

This sounds like a nightmare even if nobody's puking. Why did you sign up for that? Never do it again!

It was really important to DH to have kids kids and grandkids here. They spent their teen and early adult years at this house, they want to continue the tradition. Last year my two and I went and stayed with my dad who was in bad health. This year we have our 10-month-old so things are different. He desperately wants one big happy family.

Too bad. I always find it so ridiculous and selfish when people involved have divorce and remarriage and half-siblings to expect the kids to be all kumbayah about it, especially before a long period (ie, years) of adjustment has happened. DH and OP asked for this mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH has three adult children from previous marriage and 5 grandchildren (1,1, 2, 4 and 5). I have two children from a previous marriage (5&7) and we be one child together (almost 1).

This is the very first time all of our kids and his grandkids have been together in one place since our wedding. There are 9 adults and 8 children in this house. 11 out of 17 are currently down with a stomach bug.

DH daughter openly dislikes me and has made digs at my parenting all day (our boys are the same age). She’s letting her kids tear our place apart and her 5-year-old bullies my 5-year-old. My 7-year-old is patient 0 and now my stepdaughter is claiming we did it on purpose (why?!?!).

I get along with my stepsons but one is currently going through health issues and I feel terrible that he’s been exposed to the virus. DD was FINE Sunday night and played and ate well but woke up at 4am vomiting and by noon my 5-year-old, her 5-year-old and 2-year-old and the 4-year-old were all vomiting. Now the only healthy child is my infant. Stepson and DH are sick. I’m feeling sick. I put so much effort and and wanted everything to go perfect and now it’s the worst possible outcome (well, not worse but close).

The kids will most likely feel 100% in the morning but the adults will be too sick to function.

Next Christmas I think we may just travel.

Oh well...

I'm sorry OP, sounds like a bit of a nightmare. I think your DH is too optimistic about a "big happy family." There is going to be a lot of baggage in your situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There are 9 adults and 8 children in this house.

This sounds like a nightmare even if nobody's puking. Why did you sign up for that? Never do it again!

It was really important to DH to have kids kids and grandkids here. They spent their teen and early adult years at this house, they want to continue the tradition. Last year my two and I went and stayed with my dad who was in bad health. This year we have our 10-month-old so things are different. He desperately wants one big happy family.

Too bad. I always find it so ridiculous and selfish when people involved have divorce and remarriage and half-siblings to expect the kids to be all kumbayah about it, especially before a long period (ie, years) of adjustment has happened. DH and OP asked for this mess.

NP: The divorce took place when the 29-year-old was a child. The dad was single for most of her teen and adult life. How much more adjustment should there be?

[Anonymous]

Give things a chance to settle down from Flu Center.

[Anonymous]

I don't think that many kids and adults, and so many sick at the same time, even if no stepparents were involved would be a picnic. Might be worse!