women's invisible labor - anyone had luck getting spouse to take on more of the mental work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is another reason women fall behind in the workplace after having kids. It’s the million things we are expected to do. Most women want a decent quality of life so many of the things that we do aren’t truly necessary to survive.

Just today I went to the pool with my child and husband. Here’s what I did to make it to the pool:

1. Order swim diapers last week
2. Order a float
3. Order a swimsuit earlier this year in son’s size
4. Order sunscreen
5. Put sunscreen on child
6. Pack stroller, including water for child
7. Decide time to go to the pool (in between naps)
8. Get myself ready


Here’s what my husband did:

1. Dress himself
2. Ask me where the sunscreen is
3. Push the stroller.


I suppose we could have not gone to the pool? Was it necessary to survive? No, but it’s things like this that make life nice. Other examples include vacations, parties, a clean house, nice meals, well dressed kids, kids enjoying activities, pets, etc.

This. All this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is another reason women fall behind in the workplace after having kids. It’s the million things we are expected to do. Most women want a decent quality of life so many of the things that we do aren’t truly necessary to survive.

Just today I went to the pool with my child and husband. Here’s what I did to make it to the pool:

1. Order swim diapers last week
2. Order a float
3. Order a swimsuit earlier this year in son’s size
4. Order sunscreen
5. Put sunscreen on child
6. Pack stroller, including water for child
7. Decide time to go to the pool (in between naps)
8. Get myself ready


Here’s what my husband did:

1. Dress himself
2. Ask me where the sunscreen is
3. Push the stroller.


I suppose we could have not gone to the pool? Was it necessary to survive? No, but it’s things like this that make life nice. Other examples include vacations, parties, a clean house, nice meals, well dressed kids, kids enjoying activities, pets, etc.

Millions of your female ancestors are rolling their eyes at your First World Problems. No chopping wood? No hauling water? No dying in childbirth? No having your husband and children killed and being carried off into slavery? And still she complains!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ exactly why being married to a white male and having kids sucks.

great. for the good of the nation, please remain single.

More and more career women hit 49 and become Single Mothers By Choice. They hire a nanny, manage the household, raise the child and continue working. And honestly, they’re way ahead because they don’t have a deadweight expecting them to manage the house, raise the kids, work hard st home or office and clean up his messes and mistakes. Both sets of moms are singlehandedly doing most everything, why bother with a Guy unless he is an active parent and leader in the house and family.

Go be single.

Are these white women because they enjoy the same privileges as white males. It is always a chuckle when a rich white woman complainis about rich white men.

trust me, the privileges are not anywhere close to the same. i'm not saying women of color don't have a more difficult hill to climb at every turn, but it's still 1000 times harder to be a woman than to be a man, even a white one.

plus, black women age a million times better than white women, and don't face cultural expectations to be anorexic...

LMAO. Being a white woman is playing life on Easy Mode. You're busy inventing fake challenges and difficulties so you can feel a delusional sense of achievement when you run the score up.

What do think white women should do? Do thinks to make our lives harder? Accept lower paid service jobs? Not send our kids to college? Not open 529s? Not get married BEFORE having kids? Start engaging in criminal activity or associate with men who do??

Life has been extremely unfair to African Americans in this county, but there are many things that our their own doing. It’s not a white womans fault that having babies out of wedlock is now the norm for you. Black women decided to allow this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is another reason women fall behind in the workplace after having kids. It’s the million things we are expected to do. Most women want a decent quality of life so many of the things that we do aren’t truly necessary to survive.

Just today I went to the pool with my child and husband. Here’s what I did to make it to the pool:

1. Order swim diapers last week
2. Order a float
3. Order a swimsuit earlier this year in son’s size
4. Order sunscreen
5. Put sunscreen on child
6. Pack stroller, including water for child
7. Decide time to go to the pool (in between naps)
8. Get myself ready


Here’s what my husband did:

1. Dress himself
2. Ask me where the sunscreen is
3. Push the stroller.


I suppose we could have not gone to the pool? Was it necessary to survive? No, but it’s things like this that make life nice. Other examples include vacations, parties, a clean house, nice meals, well dressed kids, kids enjoying activities, pets, etc.

Your ordered some shit from online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is another reason women fall behind in the workplace after having kids. It’s the million things we are expected to do. Most women want a decent quality of life so many of the things that we do aren’t truly necessary to survive.

Just today I went to the pool with my child and husband. Here’s what I did to make it to the pool:

1. Order swim diapers last week
2. Order a float
3. Order a swimsuit earlier this year in son’s size
4. Order sunscreen
5. Put sunscreen on child
6. Pack stroller, including water for child
7. Decide time to go to the pool (in between naps)
8. Get myself ready


Here’s what my husband did:

1. Dress himself
2. Ask me where the sunscreen is
3. Push the stroller.


I suppose we could have not gone to the pool? Was it necessary to survive? No, but it’s things like this that make life nice. Other examples include vacations, parties, a clean house, nice meals, well dressed kids, kids enjoying activities, pets, etc.

Millions of your female ancestors are rolling their eyes at your First World Problems. No chopping wood? No hauling water? No dying in childbirth? No having your husband and children killed and being carried off into slavery? And still she complains!

You’re right that I have first world problems. Pretty much all of the problems in this country are first world ones. We have different standards than someone 100 years ago. Technically the police brutality is WAY better than it was in the 1950s in Alabama. But does that make it ok? Should we say, well this is nothing compared to under Jim Crow? Of course not.

Women are simply continuing to fight for equality and this means sharing household duties, including planning and running the household and kids. Should we not care about this because we used to not have the right to vote?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is another reason women fall behind in the workplace after having kids. It’s the million things we are expected to do. Most women want a decent quality of life so many of the things that we do aren’t truly necessary to survive.

Just today I went to the pool with my child and husband. Here’s what I did to make it to the pool:

1. Order swim diapers last week
2. Order a float
3. Order a swimsuit earlier this year in son’s size
4. Order sunscreen
5. Put sunscreen on child
6. Pack stroller, including water for child
7. Decide time to go to the pool (in between naps)
8. Get myself ready


Here’s what my husband did:

1. Dress himself
2. Ask me where the sunscreen is
3. Push the stroller.


I suppose we could have not gone to the pool? Was it necessary to survive? No, but it’s things like this that make life nice. Other examples include vacations, parties, a clean house, nice meals, well dressed kids, kids enjoying activities, pets, etc.

Your ordered some shit from online.

But I spent the time to do so. I had to know he needed a swimsuit, diapers, sunscreen etc. I had to THINK about what would be needed at the pool. My husband didn’t even know swim diapers were a thing. On top of also working full time and sharing the same other burdens as my husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is another reason women fall behind in the workplace after having kids. It’s the million things we are expected to do. Most women want a decent quality of life so many of the things that we do aren’t truly necessary to survive.

Just today I went to the pool with my child and husband. Here’s what I did to make it to the pool:

1. Order swim diapers last week
2. Order a float
3. Order a swimsuit earlier this year in son’s size
4. Order sunscreen
5. Put sunscreen on child
6. Pack stroller, including water for child
7. Decide time to go to the pool (in between naps)
8. Get myself ready


Here’s what my husband did:

1. Dress himself
2. Ask me where the sunscreen is
3. Push the stroller.


I suppose we could have not gone to the pool? Was it necessary to survive? No, but it’s things like this that make life nice. Other examples include vacations, parties, a clean house, nice meals, well dressed kids, kids enjoying activities, pets, etc.

Millions of your female ancestors are rolling their eyes at your First World Problems. No chopping wood? No hauling water? No dying in childbirth? No having your husband and children killed and being carried off into slavery? And still she complains!

But...but ... she had to order the sunscreen! You know that’s not something you can buy at the last second.

[Anonymous]

My wife complains about this.

Not worth bringing up how I pay the mortgage, pay the nanny, buy all groceries, cook most meals, do all the yard work, keep cars maintained, handle the dishes daily, handle trash daily, maintain appliances as necessary, handle annual inspections of AC, heat, etc, manage taxes.

The things I do aren’t that big a deal and just part of being an adult. Same with booking summer camp or buying the kids spring clothes..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is another reason women fall behind in the workplace after having kids. It’s the million things we are expected to do. Most women want a decent quality of life so many of the things that we do aren’t truly necessary to survive.

Just today I went to the pool with my child and husband. Here’s what I did to make it to the pool:

1. Order swim diapers last week
2. Order a float
3. Order a swimsuit earlier this year in son’s size
4. Order sunscreen
5. Put sunscreen on child
6. Pack stroller, including water for child
7. Decide time to go to the pool (in between naps)
8. Get myself ready


Here’s what my husband did:

1. Dress himself
2. Ask me where the sunscreen is
3. Push the stroller.


I suppose we could have not gone to the pool? Was it necessary to survive? No, but it’s things like this that make life nice. Other examples include vacations, parties, a clean house, nice meals, well dressed kids, kids enjoying activities, pets, etc.

Your ordered some shit from online.

But I spent the time to do so. I had to know he needed a swimsuit, diapers, sunscreen etc. I had to THINK about what would be needed at the pool. My husband didn’t even know swim diapers were a thing. On top of also working full time and sharing the same other burdens as my husband.

It’s possible he does a ton of stuff without griping online about it. Maybe he doesn’t.

Everything you did seems pretty mundane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is another reason women fall behind in the workplace after having kids. It’s the million things we are expected to do. Most women want a decent quality of life so many of the things that we do aren’t truly necessary to survive.

Just today I went to the pool with my child and husband. Here’s what I did to make it to the pool:

1. Order swim diapers last week
2. Order a float
3. Order a swimsuit earlier this year in son’s size
4. Order sunscreen
5. Put sunscreen on child
6. Pack stroller, including water for child
7. Decide time to go to the pool (in between naps)
8. Get myself ready


Here’s what my husband did:

1. Dress himself
2. Ask me where the sunscreen is
3. Push the stroller.


I suppose we could have not gone to the pool? Was it necessary to survive? No, but it’s things like this that make life nice. Other examples include vacations, parties, a clean house, nice meals, well dressed kids, kids enjoying activities, pets, etc.

Your ordered some shit from online.

But I spent the time to do so. I had to know he needed a swimsuit, diapers, sunscreen etc. I had to THINK about what would be needed at the pool. My husband didn’t even know swim diapers were a thing. On top of also working full time and sharing the same other burdens as my husband.

It’s possible he does a ton of stuff without griping online about it. Maybe he doesn’t.

Everything you did seems pretty mundane.

Of course it’s mundane. But it’s the mundane stuff like this that is necessary to live a normal life. It’s the unpaid labor and effort by women that provide such a life to men. It was one thing when women didn’t work. But now we do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ exactly why being married to a white male and having kids sucks.

great. for the good of the nation, please remain single.

More and more career women hit 49 and become Single Mothers By Choice. They hire a nanny, manage the household, raise the child and continue working. And honestly, they’re way ahead because they don’t have a deadweight expecting them to manage the house, raise the kids, work hard st home or office and clean up his messes and mistakes. Both sets of moms are singlehandedly doing most everything, why bother with a Guy unless he is an active parent and leader in the house and family.

Go be single.

Are these white women because they enjoy the same privileges as white males. It is always a chuckle when a rich white woman complainis about rich white men.

can you not turn this into a race issue? thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is another reason women fall behind in the workplace after having kids. It’s the million things we are expected to do. Most women want a decent quality of life so many of the things that we do aren’t truly necessary to survive.

Just today I went to the pool with my child and husband. Here’s what I did to make it to the pool:

1. Order swim diapers last week
2. Order a float
3. Order a swimsuit earlier this year in son’s size
4. Order sunscreen
5. Put sunscreen on child
6. Pack stroller, including water for child
7. Decide time to go to the pool (in between naps)
8. Get myself ready


Here’s what my husband did:

1. Dress himself
2. Ask me where the sunscreen is
3. Push the stroller.


I suppose we could have not gone to the pool? Was it necessary to survive? No, but it’s things like this that make life nice. Other examples include vacations, parties, a clean house, nice meals, well dressed kids, kids enjoying activities, pets, etc.

Your ordered some shit from online.

But I spent the time to do so. I had to know he needed a swimsuit, diapers, sunscreen etc. I had to THINK about what would be needed at the pool. My husband didn’t even know swim diapers were a thing. On top of also working full time and sharing the same other burdens as my husband.

It’s possible he does a ton of stuff without griping online about it. Maybe he doesn’t.

Everything you did seems pretty mundane.

dude of course it's mundane!! that's the point.

I wonder what you think would happen if you just noped out of 50% of the job at work?

[Anonymous]

People are being real a-holes on this thread. You’re all so cool mocking the examples people are sharing. I get it, it’s mentally tiring. No one task is hard. Not at all, but having to think of it all and deal with it can add up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is another reason women fall behind in the workplace after having kids. It’s the million things we are expected to do. Most women want a decent quality of life so many of the things that we do aren’t truly necessary to survive.

Just today I went to the pool with my child and husband. Here’s what I did to make it to the pool:

1. Order swim diapers last week
2. Order a float
3. Order a swimsuit earlier this year in son’s size
4. Order sunscreen
5. Put sunscreen on child
6. Pack stroller, including water for child
7. Decide time to go to the pool (in between naps)
8. Get myself ready


Here’s what my husband did:

1. Dress himself
2. Ask me where the sunscreen is
3. Push the stroller.


I suppose we could have not gone to the pool? Was it necessary to survive? No, but it’s things like this that make life nice. Other examples include vacations, parties, a clean house, nice meals, well dressed kids, kids enjoying activities, pets, etc.

Millions of your female ancestors are rolling their eyes at your First World Problems. No chopping wood? No hauling water? No dying in childbirth? No having your husband and children killed and being carried off into slavery? And still she complains!

But...but ... she had to order the sunscreen! You know that’s not something you can buy at the last second.

If we had to buy sunscreen someone would have had to go and drive to the store. It would take 20-30 minutes round trip. Maybe the store has or doesn’t have swim diapers? But when you’re dealing with a toddler this time matters. When you head to the pool you can’t also run errands on the way unless you want a very limited amount of time at the pool.

Also don’t think we could have bought a swimsuit last minute. We don’t live near any stores that sell boys swim trunks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is another reason women fall behind in the workplace after having kids. It’s the million things we are expected to do. Most women want a decent quality of life so many of the things that we do aren’t truly necessary to survive.

Just today I went to the pool with my child and husband. Here’s what I did to make it to the pool:

1. Order swim diapers last week
2. Order a float
3. Order a swimsuit earlier this year in son’s size
4. Order sunscreen
5. Put sunscreen on child
6. Pack stroller, including water for child
7. Decide time to go to the pool (in between naps)
8. Get myself ready


Here’s what my husband did:

1. Dress himself
2. Ask me where the sunscreen is
3. Push the stroller.


I suppose we could have not gone to the pool? Was it necessary to survive? No, but it’s things like this that make life nice. Other examples include vacations, parties, a clean house, nice meals, well dressed kids, kids enjoying activities, pets, etc.

Your ordered some shit from online.

But I spent the time to do so. I had to know he needed a swimsuit, diapers, sunscreen etc. I had to THINK about what would be needed at the pool. My husband didn’t even know swim diapers were a thing. On top of also working full time and sharing the same other burdens as my husband.

It’s possible he does a ton of stuff without griping online about it. Maybe he doesn’t.

Everything you did seems pretty mundane.

dude of course it's mundane!! that's the point.

I wonder what you think would happen if you just noped out of 50% of the job at work?

+1. I love how the male posters miss the entire point of this thread. So not only are they lacking reading comprehension skills, they can’t or won’t manage the tasks to maintain a household and live a normal existence.